burned.

letter eight; bennet

Dear Sienna,

I had always dreamed of the day you would be Sienna Bennet, be mine.

But not like this. Never like this. It never even crossed my mind as a possibility. Was this the reason why Orion had been so happy these days? Were you?

I had stupidly assumed that the reason for your joy was me, Sienna, like the foolish person I am. You said that this was going to be exciting news. But it is not. It is horrifying, and my head feels like it is dead. I am still alive, but my soul has left me. It is travelling through the Underworld to the home of Hades for help; even being tortured in Tartarus is better. Anything but this.

You being Sienna Bennet is my greatest longing but, did you have to get engaged to my brother?

My doctors told me that I had fainted at the news. Did I? All I remember is you telling me that we both really will be sisters once you and Orion were married. I have been unconscious for nearly two weeks now, they say.

That can sometimes happen when you have to be the bridesmaid of the wedding of the one you love.

My heart has gotten worse. The doctors say that they have a hunch on my illness, but I hope I don't get cured. I think death will be better than this. My soul in hell has the image of you and Orion engraved inside of my eyelids. My ears seem to be repeating your words loudly in a never-ending chorus.

"Orion and I are getting married!"

The thought of your smile, which had been warm, feels like it is burning, scorching all of my insides. Your golden hands that embraced my heart with tenderness is gone. Gone and replaced by the shrivelled black ones of death. It is slowly oozing out all of your heavenly ichor from my heart and turning my crimson pulse into charcoal.

You were my Apollo, Sienna. Apollo, the God of the Sun, medicine and music. You were my reason for living, my Sun, the one who helped me hang on to the thin thread of my life, my medicine, and my melody, the harmony which helped me dream in slumber when reality seemed too unbearable, my music.

You are with Orion now, so how can I compare? I am nothing compared to my brother. And I know this because he managed to not steal your heart but to convince you that the one in front of you would help make your heart whole.

But why didn't you even look to your side before agreeing? Why have you never looked at me? I will never regret loving you, Sienna. Not even if it has only ever brought me pain, for wishing I don't love will only make me more anguish.

I love you,
Emilia