┍━━━━━━━━━━┑
chapter seven.
turn the pain into power.
┕━━━━━━━━━━┙

Blood stains the clothing of the crowd that returns from outside Arkadia's gate. June stands planted firmly, arms crossed over a chest, a disgusted look on her face as she glares in their direction. Pike - or, Chancellor Pike - she thinks with distaste, got his way. He won the election after winning over everyone by speaking of his hatred for the grounders. Then he finished the task him and everyone was arrested for, including Bellamy. June was repulsed by everyone who had returned from massacring the army - but Bellamy, she was more disappointed.

Bellamy's head was hung low. His armor was splattered with red, some blood even staining his hands and lower arms. He didn't look up, only walked forward slowly like he was in some type of daze. He didn't look like the close friend June had made. She didn't recognize him, when he finally glanced up and met her gaze. She hoped that Bellamy could see how disappointed she was, and had a hunch he did when he looked away just as quick.

While June was horrified at their behavior, Octavia was more concerned for her brother, as she ran by her to race to his side, asking if he was okay. Although June can't hear his answer, she can tell he's not. He's completely broken by the choice he made and she supposes that Octavia knows so too.

"Lock it up!" Pike calls to one of the guards. Once the group is safely inside, the gate doors shut behind them. Satisfied, he steps onto a podium to speak directly to the crowd that had been drawn in. "Everybody, listen up. Twenty-four hours ago, you elected me your Chancellor. Every action I've taken since and every action I will take will be to achieve one sacred goal. The creation of a self-sustaining, prosperous, and safe, Arkadia."

June's lower lip curls. Not only was the army they massacred was innocent, but there was an entire civilization. Was his plan to wipe everyone out? They wouldn't last because of his choices. "... This morning on a muddy field, our people paid tribute to those who have been taken from us by sending a message to the grounders. This land is ours now! Resist, and you will be met by force. Fight, and you will be greeted by death. Today is a new beginning," he declared. "Mark it down, remember it, just like the grounders will remember it!"

The cheer of agreement in excitement makes June feels sick. She knows they're scared, but the ones who voted for Pike may have unintentionally screwed them all over. "No wounded," Abby noted in a mumble from behind June. "Ten against three hundred and there's no wounded. How's that possible?"

"Because they're cowards," June hissed out, suddenly able to find her voice and speak her disgust. "They slaughtered them in their sleep."

"Alright," Abby says calmly, hand setting on June's shoulder. "Go on to medical. Check on Denae," she instructed gently.

Despite the rage shooting through June's veins, she nods. The fists clenched at her sides shake as she storms back into Arkadia. She tries to think of anything but what had happened, what someone she considered family had done because the guilt overwhelmed him. The thought made her want to scoff, but June pushes it away, shoving it deep down as she arrives at medical.

With all the time June had spent there, she was starting to become confident in her skills in some type of nurse when she wasn't on guard duty. But she was easily distracted, especially when she was sanitizing supplies and the doors slide open. Her head picks up, and she sees Raven, a blazing rage in her eyes as she storms in as best she can with her limp.

"Keep me updated," Abby mumbled to Jackson when she sees the furious mechanic like she knew why she was here.

"What the hell, Abby?!" Raven hissed loudly, coming to a stop in front of her.

Abby held one hand up to try and relax her. "Calm down. I know that you're upset," she said gently.

"Upset?" Raven repeated, spitting the word out. "I just showed up for work and found out you fired me!"

By now, the two had drawn a crowd. June wanted to stay out of it, she did, but the tools in her hands fall to the counter in a clattering sound because she's stunned at the admission. This didn't stop either of them, as Abby calmly replies. "I don't fire people."

"Not clearing me medically is the same damn thing!" Raven exclaimed. June can hear her anger fading, being replaced with hurt. She knew that being a mechanic was Raven's life, and she can't start to imagine how she feels, especially when she leans to her side, trying to put her weight on her other leg.

Noticing this, Abby extends her hand, attempting to lead her. "Come on, let's go sit - "

"I don't need to sit down!" Raven fiercely argues, jerking away from the touch. "My leg is fine!"

"No, it's not," Abby finally breaks in disagreement, like this was the truth Raven needed to hear. "And riding on patrol and working that wall are making your conditions worse."

"So what?" Raven demanded. "Do nothing? That's gonna make my leg heal?"

Abby shakes her head. "No. Your leg is never gonna heal," she said, brutally honest. "Our goal is pain reduction. That's it. And if you keep pushing this hard, even that's not gonna happen." She pauses before whispering faintly, trying to convince her. "You can still be useful." June watches as Raven's face twists into sorrow, acting as if Abby had physically slapped her in the face, though, June supposes that's how she feels.

Then Raven slowly backs up, shaking her head in despair before she's gone, leaving medical without another word. June knows more than anyone that she is probably the last person that Raven wants to see or talk to, but she can't stop herself from hurrying after her. There's nothing in this world that could ever make June despise Raven, not when she's adored her since she helped her out of the pod that had landed on Earth in what felt like forever ago.

As June suspected, Raven is trembling from fury and pain as she marches through Arkadia's halls, but her gaze darts to her leg. She's struggling to walk with it, making her angry walk have a limp that slowed her down. "Raven," June calls once, but the other doesn't stop, only tensing at the familiar sound of her voice. "Raven!" June repeats, this time louder as she easily catches up. "Come on, please," she pleads. "Just stop."

"Leave me alone, June," Raven tries to insist, her voice cracking.

"I have left you alone. I've given you space for two months," June shoots back, slowing her pace when Raven does. She finally grabs Raven's arm, forcing her to stop and look her in the eye. "Now I want to talk and you have to listen." June half-expects Raven to yank away and leave her again, but to her surprise, she doesn't. Her jaw clenches, lifting up as she leans against the walls with her arms crossed over her chest. "You're always neck-deep in your work, and I know you love it, but you're pushing yourself. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine," Raven says sharply, throwing her hands in the air in frustration. "God - why does everyone think that I'm not?"

"Raven," June says her name softly. "You're crying."

The tears that had pooled in Raven's eyes since her argument with Abby have started to roll down her cheeks. She frantically tries to brush them away with the back of her hand despite knowing that June had already seen. "Thanks for the recap," she mumbled sarcastically. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Tough shit," June deadpanned. "You never want to talk about anything and we need to. I'm tired of you pushing me away, I just want to help you."

"And I'm tired of you being so insistent on this," Raven snaps back as if June was on her very last nerve, which she was positive that she was. "You can't fix my leg June, and you can't fix me!"

"I'm not trying to fix you," June defended because it was true. People you loved couldn't fix you, and even though June would give anything for Raven to be happy, she can't. "I'm trying to help. I've proven dozens of times that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you." She thinks back to the time she had been prepared to give her life for Raven when the grounders were about to torture her until death and June took her place. On instinct, she tugs her jacket sleeves down further and tries to hide her arms behind her back.

But June is too late and she knows that Raven remembers too as her eyes dart to her covered arms like she can see the long white scars permanently on her skin. The memories fall on her like a hundred bricks, weighing on her chest and for a moment, she can feel like she's there again. June can still feel the rope digging into her wrists, hanging up from a tree before dozens of knives are dragging across her skin. She remembers seeing red, so much of her own blood, how she screamed in agony. But it was for Raven - and June had known she could bear it, as long as Raven didn't have to.

"I need air." June's lungs were tightening with all the weight she carried, and she knows she's going to end up struggling to breathe if she doesn't make it outside. Raven opens her mouth like she's going to say something, but June is gone, rushing down Arkadia's hall. She ignores the noises of annoyance coming from people as she barrels past them, hurrying to the exit.

The second fresh air fills June's chest, she's relieved. She still feels tense, but at least the walls aren't closing in on her anymore. She takes a few steps, sucking in deep breaths that calm her racing heart. There are many outside, few talking, but a loud and very familiar voice has June distracted and turning her head.

"We all have pain. Some of it physical from injuries or age. Some is mental from living with the loss of our loved ones." June is shocked as she gazes into the field. It's Jaha of all people, speaking proudly to a small crowd circling him. She hasn't seen him since before Wells, having been the one to tell him his son was dead on the dropship's radio. And Jaha is happy. He's talking with a weird wide smile on his face. June finds herself slowly wandering to him.

"If you think about it, whether we fight that pain of succumb to it, the result is the same," Jaha continues. "It diminishes our lives, robs us of our passions and past times and damages relationships between friends and lovers." He pauses before holding his hands out. "What if I told you there's a simple way to eliminate it?"

June scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest. Disgust was hitting her all over again. The people he had drawn in had looks of hope at his words, and she knew they were going to be crushed at the truth. "Then I'd say you're full of crap," she stated, nudging herself past two people so Jaha can see it's her. "Pain doesn't go away. You don't eliminate pain. You make room for it."

If Jaha is at all surprised at June's face and words spitting out, he doesn't show it. He only smiles the same creepy one. "June Thompson," he greeted as if she hadn't said anything cold at all. "You look well."

"No, I don't," June said, suddenly angry instead of panicking. She's full to the brim of blame to Jaha for almost everything she's been through, since he made the choice to send one hundred delinquents to the ground, including Wells, who could have still been alive.

Tilting his head, Jaha grew quiet, blinking a few times like he was taking in unheard words. "You're in a lot of pain," he finally commented in understanding. He steps down the slope he was upon, palm facing up in June's direction. She glances down to see a very small hexagon shaped chip, the infinity symbol carved in blue. "This can make it go away," Jaha informs her. "It's the key to the City of Light. To your salvation and relief."

June opens her mouth, unsure what she was going to say, but a new voice angrily calls out from behind her. "And you're telling these people what?" It demands. June looks over her shoulder to see that it's Raven, joining her side with a cross look. "That they swallow that and they'll be living in happy town for the rest of their lives? You should be ashamed of yourself," she scolds, grabbing June's upper arm and tugging her. "Let's go, June."

At first, June isn't sure what to feel as she allows Raven to pull her away. Was she doing it to help her? Should she be grateful? But that question was pushed out of her mind when she hears Jaha's loud enough speaking. "They aren't ready."

They aren't ready. Who's he talking to? Maybe in some way, June should have some respect for him. Jaha is the father of Wells, after all, her lost best friend, and although she and Jaha didn't have much of a bond, he seemed to have had a psychotic break. "Hang on, Raven," June mumbled, gently taking her arm back to stop and turn around.

When Jaha sees both girls looking, he gives them the same friendly smile and waves. June's positive he can see the confusion on her face and knows she heard him as he eagerly says; "I'll be here when you are!"

"He's insane," Raven muttered, shaking her head.

Although June doesn't disagree, she only loosely shrugs. "I guess." Then she tries to smile, yet it's faint. "Thanks for that." She can sense that there is so much Raven wants to say, whether they're comforting words to attempt to make her feel better or continue their argument from earlier, but June can feel the urge to leave before she makes it worse. "I have guard duty soon," she finds herself stammering out before she's gone just as fast as it comes out.

June's guard duty truthfully doesn't start for another hour or two. But she's only there for five minutes before Harper tells her that Lincoln had been arrested and the sick grounders are being thrown into lock-up.

She's tired of sprinting, running in every direction around Arkadia, but she doesn't hesitate in dashing back towards the space station. The words repeat in June's head, again and again, knowing who was behind it all. The man in charge, the very man who led a bunch of killers out of Arkadia to slaughter an army who wanted to help them. Now he, Pike, is locking up innocent grounders. June is repulsed all over again, but she doesn't believe it quite yet until she sees it for herself.

"I'm okay," Lincoln is insisting as he's dragged into lock up with his hands behind his back. "Don't fight this."

From the end of the hall, June can see Bellamy holding his sister back, who's shouting Lincoln's name. "What the hell is going on?!" She exclaimed after. June can't hear Bellamy's response, but she hears Octavia's outcry after as she shoves him. "What's happening to you?" She demanded before her voice raises. "I saw what you and Pike did to Lexa's army. Bellamy, you killed everyone!" She accuses.

Bellamy's eyes flicker to June for a second when she arrives. "Keep your voice down," he requested in an ashamed mutter.

"What's wrong? You're not proud of massacring an army that was here to help us?" Octavia questioned, cocking her head in June's direction. "You think June is proud of you?"

It had been no secret the bond that Bellamy and June had formed when Clarke left, after Mount Weather. And she can see the shame on his face even though he can't look her in the eye. "We're not doing this here," he protested quietly.

"Then where do you want to do this, Bellamy?" June asks harshly, putting her hands on her hips. She looks past his head to see Lincoln, listening, the sick grounders she had seen in medical before wandering around or resting on benches. They should be in medical, not behind bars.

"Let's go," Octavia suddenly snaps, grabbing her brother's arm and forcing him down the hall, nodding to June to follow her. "Because I'm not even close to done."

"You need to be careful, O," Bellamy cautions her. "If you keep this up, I won't be able to protect you."

"Thanks for the warning," Octavia said blankly, eyes focused ahead of them.

Disappointed, June shakes her head. "God - are you serious, Bellamy?" She questioned, not expecting the nod he gives her.

"It's time to stop playing grounder before you get yourself hurt," Bellamy replied, struggling to keep up with Octavia's fast pace.

"I'm not playing anything. This is who I am," Octavia declared. "You're my brother. I shouldn't have to tell you that." She suddenly stops, and June nearly rams into her, having not suspect it. She sends Bellamy one last look with narrowing eyes matched with a scowl before she throws open the door they had stopped in front of.

Confused, June allows Bellamy to step inside first, having supposed Octavia only wanted to talk to them. But when Bellamy stops in the same manner that she had, she steps around him. "What is it - "

The question stops when June's breath hitches at the person inside the room, rising at the sight of the two of them. She's no stranger, at least, not in the way June thinks. But her heart still falls into the pit of her chest as she whispers the other's name.

"Clarke?"