*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧—chapter four: letters from an unknown past

August 31, 2015
Hackett House
Upstate New York, New York

CASSIDY HASN'T VISITED THE BASEMENT SINCE YESTERDAY. Travis had warned him that there were consequences if he ever went back down there. So, he didn't. He was just curious and Travis never let him do shit. He feels like he has to defy the man because of it.

It's almost noon and the boy was still upstairs. He had locked himself in his room again like he always did. He was constantly bored up here though. And that was what prompted him to look through his closet.

Nothing was out of the ordinary. Not anything he could see, at least. He had his clothes like his jeans and sweatshirts on hangers on the bottom shelf. He had his old stuffed animals resting on top of the shelf as well as an old Dell desktop PC from 2001 that had Windows XP installed on it. The top shelf of his closet had the spray bottles for cleaning and his feather duster, as well some rags to wipe off the sprays, and his different bedspreads.

There was a box in the right side of the top shelf in his closet, tucked behind a few spare decor items for his room that couldn't fit on the walls. Somehow he's never noticed it before. He moves the decor out of the way and pulls the box down and sets it on the floor.

Sitting beside it, he removes the lid and sticks a hand into the box, taking out its contents. It was just a stack of five letters. All of them either addressed to him or Travis. The envelopes had all been opened previously, the torn paper taped back down to seal it. Dad probably opened these at some point. But why did he never tell me they were here? He looks at the faded blue ink in the top left corner on of the envelopes.

Bethany Martin
615 Epsilon Boulevard
Vallora, CA

"Bethany Martin?" He's never heard that name before. Cassidy tears open the envelope, looking at the words written in blue ink.

Dear Travis,

     Something's come up recently. Sorry I can't make it to your sister-in-law's funeral. Tell Chris I'm sorry for his loss.

     Your love,
          Beth

The date on this letter was just marked with the year: 2000, Cassidy observes as he flips the piece of folded paper over, seeing the date written in tiny lettering in the bottom left corner. And the sister-in-law in question was Amelia, Chris' late wife. Cassidy never knew his late aunt. She had passed away five years after Caleb was born, which was one year after Kaylee was born, and two years before Cassidy was born. He puts the letter back into the envelope and sets it off to the side. Then, he grabs the next one in the stack, opening it.

Dear Travis,

     I would call you to tell you the good news, but the landline at my place is busted. So, I'll tell you in this letter.

     I'm pregnant with your child. It sounds like I'm making it up, but I promise I'm not. I swear.

     Your love,
          Beth

This letter was marked with the year 2001. He puts it down and opens up the next letter.

Dear Travis,

     The last time you saw me was for my thirty-second birthday. That was one week ago. You know, the day we split up? You bought me a plane ticket to go back to California, and then you drove me to the airport, but you never told me why. You just told me I had to go back home. God, Travis, I don't know why we ever split up. We had no reason to. But on my birthday and while I'm pregnant... I was devastated.

     But, I don't believe it's that important compared to what I'm about to say to you. I can just mope later. I went to see a sonographer a few days ago for an ultrasound. The baby's a boy. I was thinking we could name him Cassidy, after my late grandfather. If you don't like the name, you could call me and we can think of something.

     I don't even know why I bother with these letters anymore. It never send a letter back in response. It's not like you ever call me anymore to let me know you read my letters... I don't even know why I give a fuck anymore.

     Your ex-lover,
          Beth

Cassidy sets this letter on top of the first one. Then, he picks up the next envelope in the stack.

Dear Travis,

     I'm going to get really emotional here, but I need you to listen. I'm sick, Travis. It's some unknown ailment that doesn't have a cure. I don't know how much time I have left. And it's hurting the baby. It's killing him. I'm going to have to go to the ER and get a C-section.

I'm scared, Travis. I'm terrified. Please be there when your son is born. I need you to take care of him for me. I need you to make sure he...

The rest of the words were illegible, old tear stains smudging the ink. Cassidy frowns, putting the letter back into the envelope. He picks up the last one from the stack.

Dear Cassidy,

     Hi, baby. I wrote this a few days before I went to the hospital for me to get an emergency C-section. You can't read this yet, but when you're older, I hope you find it.

     By the time you read this, though, I'm probably dead. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Your dad might tell you about me, but if he doesn't, I'll tell you right now in this letter. You never knew me, but my name's Bethany Martin. I'm your mother. I love you.

     I'll miss you, baby. I hope you're healthy and I hope you grow up having a nice life. Hope your dad's family treats you well. Tell your dad I said I love him and I'll miss him. I'll miss you both, always and forever, even in death.

     Love,
          Mom

There are tears in the boy's eyes when he's finished reading. He rereads that last letter again and again and again. He always wondered why his mother was never talked about or why there were no pictures or anything for Cassidy to look at.

The letter indirectly explained it. Bethany Martin, his mother, had died the day he was delivered. Whatever ailment she had had killed her quicker than when it was trying to kill him in the womb.

Cassidy drops the letter in the box, and picks up the other ones, putting those in the box too. He gets up from his spot on the floor, sniffing, and leaves his room.

He enters the hall quietly and tiptoes across, avoiding any, if not all, the creaky floorboards up here. Then, he descends the stairs. Once on the first floor, he walks straight past the foyer, through the kitchen, and into the living room.

Travis is lounging on one of the couches, a newspaper in hand. Cassidy doesn't bother to glance at the headline as he walks over to the couch.

Travis sets the newspaper down and sits up, brows furrowed as he stares at the box in his son's hands. His concern only grows upon seeing the boy's tear-stained cheeks and red face.

"What's the matter?" he asks softly, the corner of his lips turned downward in a frown.

"I found these..." Cassidy pauses, sniffing as he sets the box down on the coffee table. He takes the letters out and hands them to Travis. "They- They were from... from my mom."

Travis takes the letters from him, but doesn't reopen them. He doesn't need a reminder of what once was. A reminder that Bethany used to be here but was no longer. How her sickness had stolen her from their lives just like that.

"Do you remember what she was like?" Cassidy questions as he sits down beside him.

He looks at Cassidy and nods. "She liked puzzles and things like that. She was always a 'think outside the box' kind of person. She used to accompany me when I was working and ended up figurin' out these things before I did. We used to do the crosswords in the newspaper when she was over, but before I'd even start, she'd be done with the entire thing. For a while, we used to joke and I'd call her Sherlock Holmes because of all of it." When Travis speaks, Cassidy notices the hint of a smile tugging at the man's lips, but it's gone just as quickly. "But, that all changed when..." he takes a deep breath before continuing. "I could tell she was tired. In those letters she wrote, I could tell by the tone when I read them. It was draining her. And she was afraid for you, Cass. She had a feeling that you might not make it, but she still held onto the belief that you'd be all right in the end. And... She was damn right, you're all right. But she's... she's not... She's gone... She was a fighter, though. I'll never forget that."

Cassidy remains silent, deciding to give Travis some space. He gets up from the couch and heads back the way he came.

And when he looks back at Travis, he can see the man crying.

author's note
when you use a
generator to create
a street name and a
city name>>>>>

guys, i'm sobbing
now bc of this
chapter wtf 💔

07.19.22