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𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘-𝐎𝐍-𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐄
chapter seven ─ something strange
(in your neighbourhood)

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HEIDI THREW HER QUILL DOWN ON THE TABLE. "That's it," she announced. "I can't hack it. If I fail Defence and have to drop out and turn to prostitution, that's okay." The lack of a response from the older girl next to her confused her, as Alita was skeptical of Heidi's un-academic ambitions and never missed an opportunity to share her opinions.

"Lita? Are you in agreement?" Alita's eyes were glazed over, focused on the wall behind Heidi's head. Heidi waved her hand in front of Alita's face, and when that didn't work she picked up her quill and poked Alita's forehead with the tip.

"If you're turning to prostitution, don't you think some defence spells would come in handy? Not that you'll have to, since you're not failing."

Heidi groaned, sliding down her seat until her chin rested on the table. "It's Halloween," she complained. "Everyone's gone to Hogsmeade, and we're in the library." She lowered her voice, leaning in conspiratorially. "Stuck with the first years. I'm losing my mind, Lita. I'm going positively batshit crazy, and only you have the power to save me."

"Don't you dare make that face at me. No ─ is your lip shaking? How do you do that?"

"It's trembling, thank you very much, because I'm sad. I'm stuck in the library and all my friends are in Hogsmeade without me!" Heidi crossed her arms over her chest.

"Alright, I'll make you a deal," Alita proposed. "If you can remember the whole magical beasts song, I'll set you free."

Suddenly revived, the force with which Heidi sat up sent sheets of parchment flying full-speed towards the floor. "Merlin, thank you so much! I'll never complain about school ever again." Alita's ensuing disbelieving laugh confused her, as she was entirely serious in her resolve.

***

Heidi found Alicia and Angelina in Osh's Corner Bookstore and Bakery, already halfway into a pile of baked cakes and pastries that would have made any sane person sick at the sight. Fortunately, both girls were entirely unhinged, and therefore able to eat their way through the bakery on their own without an issue.

"Merlin, Heidi, you have to try these cakes! We got one of everything," Alicia said through a mouthful of raspberry scone.

"The gluten free cakes are on that plate." Angelina pointed to a small place, with a blueberry muffin, a pain au chocolat, and ─

"Is that red velvet?" Heidi removed her scarf and her jacket and flopped down into an armchair. "I'm never leaving this place."

"Get a hot drink first," Alicia said, blowing on Heidi's hand. "Why aren't you wearing gloves? You're freezing."

"I have love to keep me warm." Heidi stood up, approaching the counter and making sure to stick her hands down the back of Angelina's jumper on the way.

There was a small bell sat on the countertop, which Heidi picked up and rang. Before she could put it back down, however, a kindly-looking man stood in front of her. It swiftly occurred to Heidi that since he had been standing less than a foot away, ringing the bell had been completely unnecessary.

"What can I get you?" He asked, wiping his hands on his apron.

"Um . . . a coffee, please?"

A snort sounded from behind her. "Heidi, you hate coffee," Angelina said, laughing.

"No I don't! I love coffee. Love it. I'm a coffee woman, through and through. I want a coffee, please, with the cute drawing on top, you know what I mean?"

This sent all three girls into a fit of laughter. "She'll have a hot chocolate, please," Alicia said from her chair.

Heidi rolled her eyes, sighing. "They don't understand me," she said. She felt a compulsion to ring the bell again, and so she did. "Do you have any marshmallows?"

By the time Heidi sat back down, she was weighted down not only by her hot chocolate, but also a stack of books she had picked up from the bookshop. "Read the backs and tell me which ones you like," she said, passing them around the table. "I want to bring a few back."

"I didn't know you read muggle books," Angelina said, leafing through a copy of Sunset Song.

"It's to impress my mum with all my muggle knowledge." Heidi thumbed the cover of Pride and Prejudice. "So she won't notice I've failed my O.W.L.s ─ hang on a sec," she stared down at the front page. "Someone's gone and scribbled all over the book! Awful penmanship, too."

"Give it here, " Alicia said, taking the book and tracing the words written on it. "Dear . . . does that say 'mystery'? Dear mystery birl? I'm not sure 'birl's a real word."

Angelina, looking over her shoulder, cracked up laughing. "Ali, you idiot, it says girl. 'Dear Mystery Girl'."

"I want it!" Heidi cried, snatching the book back. "Pride and Prejudice . . . sounds interesting."

Heidi left Osh's Corner Bookstore and Bakery laden down a rather large collection of cakes to stuff herself with throughout the coming week, and three muggle books all complete with the strange writing; Pride and Prejudice, The Bell Jar, and a collection of poems by different Romantic poets (which as she had learnt from the introduction, was an era within poetry and not just a gooey, squishy word). She intended to read the annotations closely, and unravel just who 'Mystery Girl' was.

It appeared karma was out to get her for never remembering to bring gloves, as despite being tucked inside the pockets of her coat, she was still rapidly losing the feeling in her fingers. She was so engrossed in retaining some warmth in her hands, she almost didn't notice Dria Lockaby passing her ─ or she wouldn't have, if Alicia hadn't almost knocked her over.

"Dria!" noticing her red-rimmed eyes, Heidi frowned. "Are you alright?"

"Your brother," Dria began, "is a wanker." And she walked on.

"He must've fucked up bad," Angelina said.

The three girls eventually found themselves in Zonko's Joke Shop, Heidi absentmindedly browsing as Alicia and Angelina looked for accessories to complete their Halloween costumes. Unfortunately, four other boys had apparently had three same idea.

"Merlin's Beard, are you Oliver Wood's sister?" Heidi turned around at the sound of Fred's voice, rolling her eyes and punching his shoulder.

"Are you Percy Weasley's brother? Love that man. Top guy."

Fred made a rather rude hand gesture at Heidi, before wandering down an aisle with Lee and August in tow. Heidi was left with George, who appeared to find a display of moving cat ears quite interesting.

"Are you going to Arbor's party?" Heidi asked politely. "In the Hufflepuff common room."

"Yeah," George answered off-handedly, now inspecting a grotesque zombie mask. He seemed unwilling to look anywhere near Heidi.

"Do you have a costume?"

George grinned then, finally looking at her. "I'm going as the scariest thing I can think of," he told her.

"What's that?"

"You."

"You think of me?" Heidi asked coyly, fiddling with the cat ears George had previously found so interesting.

George looked at the floor, ears turning bright red as Heidi laughed. "That's on me," he said, grinning. "I walked into that one."

"Yeah," Heidi agreed. An awkward silence fell over the two.

"I, um . . ." George began, putting the zombie mask back on the rack. "Will I see you there? At Arbor's party?"

Before Heidi could answer, the rack fell to the floor under the weight of George's hand, and a chorus of arbitrary noises arose from the magical zombie masks. He flushed again, hurriedly crouching to pick them up.

Heidi crouched alongside him, collecting a few in her arms and placing them back on the rack. "Yeah, I'm going."

"Good," George said, smiling slightly. "Cool."

"You have dirt on your nose," Heidi said, before she did something stupid like kiss him. George flushed, looking away from her.

"Heidi! Get a move on!" Angelina called. She and Alicia were standing by the door, Angelina's foot tapping impatiently.

"Alright, keep your hair on," Heidi called back, before smiling apologetically at George. "I'll see you later."

"See you later," he called after her, as the door swept shut.

***

The Hogwarts Halloween feast never failed to disappoint.

Lydia, rosy-cheeked and smiling after her date with Jules, had donned a flower crown and proclaimed she was a fairy. She was halfway through a plate of treacle tart, chattering excitedly about his wit, his humour, and the way he had held her hand. All four girls had filled their goblets with half pumpkin juice and half firewhiskey in preparation for Arbor's party, and their laughter rang free and abundant.

"Jules and Lydia, sitting in a tree," Alicia sang, grinning cheekily and tipping her goblet towards Lydia.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Heidi sang in unison, tucking into a gluten-free pumpkin pie.

"What about you and George?" Angelina suddenly questioned.

Heidi almost dropped her fork.

"What about me and George?" she asked, her voice jumping up an octave.

Lydia nudged her arm playfully. "You and George, huh? What exactly are you tutoring him in?"

Alicia burst out laughing, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back so far she almost fell off the bench.

"There's nothing between me and George," Heidi insisted obstinately. "I tutor him once a week and put up with him the rest." She swatted away a live bat as it flew too close ─ Hogwarts could be counted on to go consistently overboard with the decorations. "You're all imagining things."

"I don't know," Angelina shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant, "You two looked cosy in Zonko's, that's all."

"What happened in Zonko's?" Lydia inquired, sipping from her goblet.

Before Angelina or Alicia could open their mouths, Heidi glared poisonously across the table. "Nothing happened," she insisted. "Drop it."

However, not even her friend's intrusive questioning over imaginary situations could dampen Heidi's mood. The entertainment provided by the ghosts was outstanding, as it always was, particularly Nearly Headless Nick's reenactment of his own beheading, which provoked thunderous applause.

"Didn't we get the most marvellous ghost?" Alicia exclaimed, banging the table.

By the time the four girls left the Great Hall, Heidi was in such a good mood that she didn't even mind when five boys joined them on their ascent to the Gryffindor Tower. Even on a bad day, Heidi never objected to August or Jules' presence, and Lee's could even be tolerated; yet the Weasley twins never failed to dampen her aura. On this day, though, she found that the walk to the Tower was all the more lively with the two in tow. She blamed her rather rapid heartbeat on the firewhiskey.

Little did Heidi know, the evening of partying she thought she'd had in store was about to become something quite different.

When the group reached the corridor leading to the portrait of the Fat Lady, they found it crowded with students. "Why isn't anyone going in?" Heidi heard Ron Weasley ask.

Percy Weasley pushed past them. "Let me through, please." The force of his pretentious bustling sent Heidi stumbling into the twins, who stuck their tongues out at his back in unison. "What's the holdup here? You can't all have forgotten the password ─ excuse me, I'm Head Boy ─"

An oppressive silence fell over the crowd then, spreading from the front. Percy's voice rang out again, sharper. "Somebody get Professor Dumbledore. Quick."

"What's going on?" Lydia asked, her hand slipping out of Jules' as she attempted to push forward.

Before she could get very far, Dumbledore arrived, sweeping towards the portrait. The pathway the crowd provided gave Heidi enough space to see what had happened, and ─

"Oh shit," Angelina said.

The Fat Lady's portrait had been slashed so viciously that strips of canvas littered the floor; great chunks of it had been torn away completely. Even worse, the Fat Lady herself had vanished completely. Dumbledore took one quick look at the ruined painting and turned, his eyes somber, to see McGonagall, Lupin, and Snape hurrying toward him.

"We need to find her," he said. Professor McGonagall, please go to Mr. Filch at once and tell him to search every painting in the castle for the Fat Lady."

"You'll be lucky!" A shrill, cackling voice said from above them.

Heidi rolled her eyes. "Not Peeves," she muttered. "Anything but Peeves."

But alas, it was Peeves the Poltergeist, who looked delighted at such a somber sight.

"What do you mean, Peeves?" Dumbledore enquired calmly, and Peeves's grin faded.

Adopting an oily voice no better than his cackle, he said, "ashamed, Your Headship, sir. Doesn't want to be seen. She's a horrible mess. Saw her running through the landscape up on the fourth floor, sir, dodging between the trees. Crying something dreadful." He sounded far too happy. "Poor thing." he added unconvincingly.

"Did she say who did it?" asked Dumbledore, voice quiet.

"Oh yes, Professorhead," said Peeves, grinning knowingly. "He got very angry when she wouldn't let him in, you see." Peeves flipped over and grinned at Dumbledore from between his own legs. "Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."

***

"Well," Heidi said, standing in the middle of the Great Hall. "There goes our Halloween plans."

They had just been joined by the Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, Slytherins and the Gryffindors who had missed the feast. Arbor, after spotting the group of fifth year Gryffindors, had beelined towards them. From where she was standing, Heidi could see Oliver, who seemed to be desperately trying to make eye contact with Dria, who gave no indication that she could see him, focusing solely on her friends ─ Jackie looked rather fetching in a hair wrap, Heidi observed.

"The teachers and I need to conduct a thorough search of the castle," Professor Dumbledore told them as McGonagall and Flitwick closed all doors into the hall. "I'm afraid that, for your own safety, you will have to spend the night here. I want the prefects to stand guard over the entrances to the hall and I am leaving the Head Boy and Girl in charge. Any disturbance should be reported to me immediately," he added to Percy, who was looking immensely proud and important. "Send word with one of the ghosts."

Professor Dumbledore paused, about to leave the hall, and said, "Oh, yes, you'll be needing . . ."

One casual wave of his wand and the long tables flew to the edges of the hall and stood themselves against the walls; another wave, and the floor was covered with hundreds of squashy purple sleeping bags.

"Sleep well," said Professor Dumbledore, closing the door behind him.

"Fuck," Lydia said. "I don't think I'm sober enough for prefect duties."

"What happened?" Arbor asked.

"Sirius Black tried to break into Gryffindor Tower," Lee said. "Slashed the Fat Lady's portrait up and everything."

"Didn't anyone tell him the party's in Hufflepuff?"

"Arbor!" Lydia gave a short, sharp laugh, before slapping a hand over her mouth. "Merlin, Arbor, that's so dark!" But even the hand over her mouth couldn't stop her from giggling.

"Come on," Jules said, guiding her towards the doors with a hand on the small of her back to a chorus of whoops and hollers. "Can't believe I have to babysit you all night."

"Everyone into their sleeping bags!" shouted Percy. "Come on, now, no more talking! Lights out in ten minutes!"

"See you in the morning," Heidi muttered, stepping away from the group. "Going to talk to Oliver."

He jumped when she appeared behind him, his eyes darting away from the blonde who'd previously held his attention.

"Sorry," Heidi said, hiding her smile.

"It's alright," Oliver said, his posture straightening. "I'm not easily frightened."

"Really?" Heidi asked suspiciously. "It looked like you jumped out your skin." She reached up and poked his cheek, attempting to make him smile. "Why so down, clown?"

"I did something daft."

Five minutes later, the two siblings were lying side by side on two sleeping backs, heads turned towards each other as they whispered lowly. Oliver told her everything; how much he liked Dria, the way he had led Isolde on, how his jealousy and emotional turmoil had led to a completely unnecessary argument in Hogsmeade.

"I won't sugarcoat it, Ollie, that is a really daft thing to do."

"I know." Oliver brought his hands up to his face, groaning.

"Did it never once occur to you that Dria might not want to be messed with? Or how Isolde might feel? Merlin knows, I'm not her biggest fan, but I'm not sure she deserves that."

"Look at it this way," Oliver whispered, leaning up on his elbow. "At least she's not dating Davies."

"They deserve each other. And don't say his name, it makes me want to throw something."

"Sorry."

"The lights are going out now!" Percy shouted. "I want everyone in their sleeping bags and no more talking!"

The candles blew out simultaneously. The only light now came from the silvery ghosts, who were drifting about talking seriously to the prefects, and the enchanted ceiling, which, like the sky, was littered with sparking stars.

"Other people's relationships have nothing to do with you, Ollie. It sucks to hear, but it's true. If you and Dria have something real, it'll find its own way to you ─ and it'll be a lot less subtle than blurting out 'you're everything' in the middle of Hogsmeade."

"Merlin, please don't say it." Oliver's face turned red, and he turned to face the ceiling, his eyes tracing the stars. "That's so embarrassing. How do I even begin to fix this? Nothing good will ever happen again."

"You apologise. To Isolde, and to Dria, and to Nate for good measure. And without any mad love confessions." Heidi mirrored him, rolling onto her back and looking at the stars. "And everything will work out from there."

Silence fell over the two, then ─

"Fuck," Heidi whispered. "I think I fancy George Weasley."

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 ─
and i'll leave it there.