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𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘-𝐎𝐍-𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐄
chapter eight ─ je pense à toi
(every day, now)

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"I SPENT SO MUCH MONEY ON THAT cat costume," Heidi said, "just for the halloween party to get cancelled. Fuck Sirius Black, fuck my life, and also fuck Roger Davies while I'm at it."

"Don't fuck Roger Davies, that's a bad decision," Alicia said, sipping her tea and refusing to look up from her copy of Witch Weekly. "We're supposed to be over him, fucking him would be so embarrassing."

"What did he do this time?" Lydia questioned from under her bed, interrupting her hunt for her missing pink skirt.

"Nothing, I'm just feeling extra bitter and hateful today."

"You spent so much money on a cat costume?" Angelina asked sceptically. "Why would you go broke for something so basic?"

Heidi slammed her book shut, too angry to study the scribbles decorating her copy of Pride and Prejudice to a satisfactory degree. "Why would you say that to me? You know I'm feeling bitter and hateful!" She threw herself backwards onto her bed, burying her face in her pillows and reaching for her cat.

"Be nice to her, Ange," she heard Lydia say, having resurfaced. "Her cat costume left her with no money for a therapist."

"I preferred you under your bed," Heidi mumbled, the pillow muffling her words. Gaposchkin seemed oddly intent on eating her fingers, but she didn't have the energy to do anything about it.

"What do you think about this?" Lydia asked, holding up her pink skirt and a white woollen jumper for the others to see. "For the quidditch match tomorrow."

"You're wearing the tiny pink skirt? To the quidditch match?" Angelina questioned. "Lydia, babe, it's November. Stop being an idiot."

"You look like a strawberry," Heidi mumbled from her pile of pillows, still lying face down.

"I'm seeing Jules."

Alicia spilt her tea all over her magazine. "Are you two official now? Is he your boyfriend?"

Heidi shot up, eyes wide. "He loves you?" A beat passed, and her eyes narrowed. "Are you ditching me? Who am I supposed to make fun of the Slytherins with now?"

"Can you not see Jules in jeans? You can borrow my flares if you like. I will literally let you borrow my flares," Angelina offered.

"You can borrow my tights, if you want," Alicia said. "You know the ones with fleece on the inside? They'll defend you from the cold. You need defence."

"Stop! You're all focusing on the wrong thing!" Lydia yelled, exasperated. "Jules is my boyfriend now, and I want to wear the tiny pink skirt! I love the cold!"

***

"I hate the cold," Lydia moaned miserably into her porridge the next morning. "And I hate quidditch."

"You're telling me," Heidi said, stirring her pumpkin juice with a spoon. "I can't even make fun of the Slytherins. I can't believe they backed out."

"You can always make fun of the Hufflepuffs," Angelina supplied.

"I'd feel so bad about it."

"Well, don't you look like a cheery lot," Fred Weasley said, taking a seat next to Angelina. Before Heidi could blink, the four girls were surrounded by Lee, August, George and Jules, who slid onto the bench next to Lydia.

"What are you doing, Alicia?" August asked, raising his eyebrows as Alicia laid three tarot cards out onto the table.

"Predicting the outcome of the quidditch match." She whistled through her teeth. "It's not looking good, but I can't tell if that's for Gryffindor or for Hufflepuff."

Heidi rolled her eyes. "You're not psychic, Alicia."

"I am psychic, Heidi. I did a course. I got a certificate." She looked back at her cards, and her hand flew to her chest. "Someone in the room right now is in grave danger."

Heidi looked around the Great Hall. "My money's on Potter. Or George."

"Why me?"

"I'm sure something unfortunate will happen to you sooner or later."

"I know you'd miss tutoring me."

"I am no longer upset about not being able to make fun of Hufflepuff," Heidi announced, "as Weasley has offered to be the subject of my ridicule."

George winked. "Anything for you." It seemed the shy boy who had dropped zombie masks all over the Zonko's shop floor was long gone.

He was pretty when he winked.

Oliver arrived to stir up some morale just in time to see Heidi's flushed face ─ as the only person who knew about her ill-advised, highly inconvenient crush, it didn't take him long to trace the blush back to the boy sitting beside her. Heidi did not miss the aggravating smirk he shot her.

"How are we doing, team? Are we ready?"

"Don't speak to me," Angelina said, holding up her hand.

"She hasn't found her inner peaceful mindset yet," Alicia whispered. "But it's there. Deep down."

"Very deep," Lee added.

"I, for one, am more than ready to follow our fearless leader," Fred proclaimed, standing up and vigorously shaking Oliver's hand.

"As am I! Let's go and beat up some Puffs," George continued, lifting his beaters bat onto his shoulder. Why he had brought it with him to breakfast, Heidi couldn't guess.

"Right. Okay," Oliver said cautiously, his arm still being shaken. "I'll see you all later."

"Good luck," said Heidi, standing up to give him a hug. "You'll do great. I have several bets relying on it."

"You shouldn't be betting," Oliver said, shaking his head with disapproval.

"I hope you fall off your broom!" Heidi said, cheerfully.

"I hope you go bald!"

"I hope quidditch gets cancelled again!"

"TAKE THAT BACK."

"Go team!" Alicia pumped the air with her fist, the force of her exertion sending tarot cards fluttering onto the floor.

"Go team," Angelina said miserably into the remaining dregs of her tea.

As the quidditch players left the Great Hall, with Lee and in tow, Heidi turned to Lydia and Jordan. August, proclaiming that he couldn't stand the lot of them, left to seek out his sister. Heidi sighed, the puff of hair blowing her fringe away from her forehead.

"It's not that I don't love you," she said, defeated. "But if I have to spend this whole rainy quidditch match third wheeling, I will crawl into the floor and let myself rot there."

***

"I love quidditch!" Heidi yelled over the rain. She wasn't sure if the sarcasm would be properly conveyed through the downpour, but she would make do.

"What?" Lydia yelled back, her questioning eyes peering at Heidi from under her heavy raincoat. She looked like she regretting wearing the tiny pink skirt.

"I said I love ─ never mind!" Understanding that she was fighting a loosing battle, Heidi shook her head and waved Lydia off. "I said never mind!"

Within the first fifteen minutes of the match, a recess had been called; now that the quidditch players were in the air again, they were seemingly dedicating more effort to battling the wind than each other. In the smallest of good blessings, Heidi had been saved from third wheeling by August, and Tess and Penny, who had joined them after Dria's departure. Heidi had since found shelter under Tess' arm, which was looking less like warm solace and more like a rather painful head lock by the second.

The quidditch players had become barely visible through the thick sheet of rain, no one knew what the score was, and Heidi had long lost the feeling in her toes. She was pondering the pros and cons off leaving, and drinking a lovely hot chocolate in the kitchens. Yet compared to the events of the next ten minutes, the rain would be the least of their worries.

An eerie silence had fallen across the stadium, suppressing the cheers and shouts. A chill set into Heidi's bones, comparable only to the feeling she had felt on the train . . . but that was hardly possible, was it not?

And then someone was falling, and the stadium erupted.

***

"You know when I said that nothing good will ever happen again? So far, my theory has been correct."

"Merlin, you're so dramatic. Nobody died. Probably." Heidi leant her head back against the tile of the Gryffindor changing room walls. "Could you just go and shower already?"

"I'm finding the motivation." Oliver's eyes were unwavering, staring straight ahead.

"Have some of mine." Heidi began blowing air at Oliver, who screwed up his face.

"Fine! Fine, I'm going to shower. Only to stop you doing that." He picked up a towel. "Are you going to check on Alita?" Heidi's tutor, her beloved Byrnes, had taken a bludger to the collarbone.

"In a bit. I'll probably see you in the hospital wing."

"Get something hot to drink first. You don't want to catch a cold."

"Alright, boss man," Heidi said, swinging the door open. Pulling her hood over her face, she dashed to the main entrance ─ the foyer floor was covered in water and mud tracks. After half an hour spent in the kitchens nursing several hot chocolates (they were really very good), she left, intending to visit the injured.

Taking the stairs two at a time, she arrived at the Hospital Wing in record time ─ only to be accosted by Dria Lockaby immediately on entering.

"Heidi!" The older girl said. "Have you seen your brother?"

"Is he not here?" Heidi furrowed her eyebrows, glancing over the room.

"They said he was still in the showers."

Heidi understood what must have happened. "Oh yeah, after that match? He's probably trying to drown himself." She was unable to stop the cackle that escaped her.

"Would everyone stop saying that?" Dria was fretting. She pushed past Heidi, heading for the doors.

"Where are you going?"

"To find him."

"Woah, woah. Hold your hippogriffs!" Heidi was unable to stop the bubble of anger that had appeared in her chest, tugging Dria around to face her. She was aware that they were making a scene in the middle of the Hospital Wing, but she figured the inhabitants might have more important matters at hand. "Look . . . if you go to him now, it means you forgive him. Right?"

"Well ─" Dria's conflicted tone exasperated Heidi further. Give me strength, she thought, despairing of both her brother and the girl he had found himself infatuated with.

"No. Dria, you're either mad at him or you're not," Heidi asserted.

"I can be mad at him and still care about him."

How on earth did these two even get out of bed in the morning, when they both overcomplicated every thought they had?

"I know that, I just ─ he's been really down this week."

"I've not exactly had a picnic myself."

"He did some stupid things."

"You got that right."

"But he's never been more sorry." Heidi hoped her eyes were pleading enough.

"Well, why hasn't he just said so?"

Heidi privately wondered how the two could be so stupid. "Because every time he's come within five feet of you, you've looked at him like you wish he'd explode on the spot! He made a bad decision, yes, but ─"

"That's an understatement."

"He made a mistake, Dria," Heidi snapped, exasperated. "I know you're pretty well versed in those too, if you remember Nate's birthday?"

Silence followed Heidi's words, as Dria considered her point. Guilt prodded Heidi's conscience.

"Sorry, that was bitchy of me."

Dria sighed. "It's fine, you're not wrong."

"It's just what he's like. Oliver's never handled his emotions well." Heidi smiled meekly. "He lashes out, do you expect him to bottle it all up?"

"Look at me, I've bundled all of my feelings inside for eighteen years and I turned out fine!"

"You terrify me."

"Thank you?"

"My point it . . ." Heidi grappled for a way to verbalise the point she was trying to make. "If you go to him now, you have to forgive him for everything else too. If you go to him, you can't go back to  hating him." Dria nodded, so small it was almost imperceptible. "Look, I don't think he'll make such a colossal mistake like that one again. He misses you, and he cares about you. That's where this whole mess started in the first place, isn't it?"

Dria placed a hand on Heidi's arm. "Thanks, Heidi."

"Go on then, go save my brother." Heidi pushed her towards the door, nodding when Dria bid her goodbye.

Just why Heidi had been forced to bear responsibility for the relationship between two perfectly competent adults, she really didn't know.

The crowd surrounding Harry Potter contained a general air of depression and one George Weasley, so Heidi swerved around it, dragging a chair to Alita's bedside.

"Good evening, dearly beloved," she said, sitting down with a flourish. "Should I be writing your eulogy instead of wasting my time talking to you, or will you pull through?"

Alita laughed. "I'm writing my will, just in case. I'm leaving you my share of my dad's bakery."

Heidi's eyes grew large. "You have shares in the bakery?"

"As if." Alita snorted.

Heidi pulled a paper bag out of her coat pocket. "You want some macaroons? I got them from the kitchens. Man, I don't think we appreciate the elves enough. We should totally have an elf appreciation society. Do you want to hear about my life? I have so many things to tell you. I can even separate them into categories, that's how much is happening. My life is so eventful and difficult."

Alita, well-versed in keeping up with Heidi's stream-of-consciousness style chatter, answered with ease. "I'd love a macaroon. Of course I'll hear about your life! Has it been hard, or just busy?"

The next twenty minutes passed with ease ─ Alita's tutorship of Heidi had blossomed into an easy friendship, and the older girl had taken Heidi under her wing. Heidi privately wondered if she inspired this kind of relationship ─ days before, Tess Robbins had declared Heidi her prodigy, and this terrified Heidi just as much as it pleased her.

Heidi and Alita had been wrapped up in ranking the Hogwarts teachers based on how they would fare against a gang of doxys, if each doxy had been given three acid pops, when they were invaded by one Percy Weasley. A distinct feeling of third wheeling came over Heidi, which was ridiculous as Percy had a girlfriend and Alita was simply his friend ─ right? Nevertheless, she excused herself, making a beeline for the door.

Unfortunately, a rather large profile was blocking her beeline ─ inconveniently, the person belonging to the profile conjured both butterflies and the urge to vomit in the pit of Heidi's stomach.

"Hi, George," she said, stepping back so her eyes fell onto his face, rather than something devastating like his collarbone. The devastation was hardly lessened by his face, however, as it contained his mouth, which she was torn between wanting to cover with her mouth or her fist every time he spoke.

"You look like a drowned rat."

Heidi snorted. While her time in the kitchen had dried her out, her hair was still looking the worse for wear, and she was sure she was rocking the panda-eyes look, as her mascara was surely all over her face. "You're a charmer."

George flushed. "A very pretty drowned rat," he amended, potentially trying to assure her. "Makes all the other rats go mm-mm."

Heidi laughed. "Are you going back to the common room?"

"Yeah. Fred left a bit ago. I figure Harry'll be okay."

"How's he feeling?" Heidi asked as they turned to leave.

"Madam Pomfrey will have him fixed in no time. His broom was smashed, though, which . . ." George winced. "He looked pretty cut up about."

"It was smashed? I didn't realise."

"Flew into the Womping Willow."

"Merlin," Heidi shook her head. "How are you feeling?" She snuck a glance as George shouldered his broom.

"Ah . . . You win some, you lose some. It was always going to be difficult. At least no one died."

"Now you can look forward to the Transfiguration test!" Heidi said brightly, giggling as George groaned. "You'll do so well!"

"I bloody hate Transfiguration. I'm going to fail this test. I can feel it."

"You can borrow my lucky elephant charm, if you like. I transfigured it myself. It used to be a bottle cap."

"I don't need your luck."

Heidi punched his arm. "That's the spirit!"

"I need a miracle." George gave Sir Cadogan (may Merlin curse him) the new password (which had been changed twice this year), and held open the portrait hole for Heidi to step through.

"That's what I'm here for."

He smiled at her, then, as he stepped into the Common Room, standing over her. Heidi cleared her throat and stepped back, clasping her hands behind her coat. "We still have three days. We can meet in the library every day, if you like."

George laughed. "You're okay with tutoring me every day? You, Heidi Wood, are a dedicated woman."

"You have no idea," Heidi told him seriously.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 ─
wow, it's been a while! i have been
surviving exams and collecting
inspiration. call this the renaissance.