abigail berman

"why doesn't she like me?"

the question came out of the blue for hannah and sarah, who were embroidering napkins with their friend daisy elijahs. it was only a sweet fall morning, the sun not too bright and the wind not too strong. it was going to be a beautiful day, so the trio had decided to move outside to embroider.

hannah lifted her head while stitching a red square, her eyebrows knit together. "who?"

"abigial," daisy sighed, dropping her head.

"of course she likes you," sarah was confused by her words. "if she didn't, then she would have had you hung for asking for an extra cup of flour yesterday morni-"

daisy shook her head, "that's not what I mean. I mean, why doesn't she like me?"

hannah and sarah exchanged knowing looks before looking back with sympathy in their eyes. they themselves had that same feeling for each other not very many moons ago, so they knew the feeling all too well.

"daisy, yo-"

"how come the people that I want never want me?" tears brimmed in the blonde's eyes, her hands dropping into her lap. "I'm inappropriate . . . I always say the wrong thing . . . and mad thomas always says the right thing."

daisy scoffed painfully at the thought of the girl she had been pining over for years all cuddled up to the drunk who harassed her every chance he could get at the bonfire last night. she felt like he had a voodoo doll of her and kept stabbing her little stuffed heart with a pin, but she wouldn't die. every time he placed his arm around the ginger's arm, stab. every time he whispered someone that she couldn't hear into the girl's ear, stab. every time she even looked at abi, stab.

"he doesn't even try, and she just picks him."

her cheeks burned a bright pink and her vision clouded. she could no longer see the simple design she had stitched into her favorite napkin, though she doubted it looked any good. she wasn't exactly skilled with nimble fingers.

"And I hate that I know he'll always be the one that she picks. For everything." she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. she wanted to remain strong, not let this phase her, but she couldn't drag her mind from the image that was burned into her mind; mad thomas and abi together. "And I try so hard and I'm never the one..."

hannah reached over to take the shaking girl's hand and held it tightly, setting her napkin and needle on the floor. sarah scooted over beside daisy and leaned her head on her shoulder, rubbing up and down her arm.

daisy finally lifted her head, the wall of tears in her eyes bursting and draining down her cheeks. "why does she pick him?"

she dreaded that she knew the pair next to her didn't have an answer, but she couldn't help but ask.

"out of everyone, why him?"

she hated how her stomach always felt topsy turvy whenever she saw abi smile. she hated how she couldn't help but smile when she saw abi dancing at the full moon festivals. she hated how her breath got shaky whenever abi took her hand. it wasn't fair how life made her feel. if this is what love would always feel like, she wanted no part in it. if love meant never feeling it yourself, then she never wanted to feel it ever again.

she loved abi with her whole heart, so much it made her want to puke.

seeing couples dancing and smiling lovingly at each other made her want to scratch her eyes out. having to see her parents so happy and laughing together every day made her want to move away from union. all the love and feelings made her feel uneasy, not because she hated it, but because she wanted it so badly. if not with abi, then with someone. anyone. but there was no one.

there never had been anyone really there for daisy elijahs.

as you can probably tell, I'm gay for emily rudd

cindy was such a great character and I wish she didn't die :(

please request!! I'm running out of original ideas and need some inspo requests from you guys!

- happy days <3