CHAPTER TWELVE
THE PARTY

"Hold my balls."

Jess blinked at Billy who stared straight at her as they leaned against the lockers outside of the gym.

"Excuse me?" Billy cleared his throat and shifted his weight, understanding her uncomfortableness.

"I mean, could you put a couple of basketballs on hold for me while I change?"

"I'm not your valet." Jess turned to walk into the girls' locker room but Billy grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"Okay, okay..." Billy sighed and closed his eyes, breathing slowly. "Please?"

Jess could tell how hard it was for Billy to say 'please' so she shrugged. "Okay, fine. But just this once. After this, you're gonna have to share with the other kids like a good little boy."

Patting her manicured hand on Billy's teased head, Jess smiled at him and walked into the locker room to change. Once she was out and in the gym, she grabbed two balls from the rack.

When she turned around, a redhead stood in front of her with her hands on her hips.

"Oh, Carol. Hey." Jess planned to start walking, but then the girl spoke up.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting two basketballs, what does it look like?" Carol rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"You know what I mean. Who are you holding them for? Tommy? 'Cause if it's him, then back off." Jess scoffed then doubled over laughing. The mere thought of being with Tommy made her want to vomit. Carol rolled her eyes and tapped her feet impatiently.

"Well if it's not him then who?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't."

"Then why ask?"

"I'm curious."

"Well fuck you," Jess watched in satisfaction as Carol recoiled dramatically.

"So it's Billy?" Jess tried her best not to gnaw at the inside of her lip due to nerves. It wasn't that people didn't know that something was going on between them, it was just that it was so confusing and having someone like Carol dissect it right in front of her was a bit nerve-wracking. Carol tsked when Jess didn't respond. "Aw that's so cute. You're holding your boyfriend's balls- "

"He's not my boyfriend. He's just... a friend." As soon as those words left her mouth, Billy came running out of the locker room and grabbed the basketballs from Jess's hands and kissed her lips.

"Thanks, Killer," Billy huffed and then ran onto the court. Carol tried to keep her smirking in check, but failed.

"Friends don't do that." A blush shot up through Jess's visage, all the way to the tips of her ears.

"Shut up." Jess turned away and sat on the bleachers, watching Billy's shirtless figure run across the court as he dominated the other team. Carol took her seat next to the brunette, a sly smile creeping its way onto her face. She narrowed her eyes and turned towards an unsuspecting Jess.

"You know, I've kissed Billy a gazillion times and it has ever amounted to anything," Carole reclined and leaned against the bleacher seats above the pair. Jess whipped her head to the redhead and she couldn't help but feel shocked.

"What are you talking about?" Carole picked her nails and chewed her gum which Jess hasn't noticed until then. Carol blew a bubble, made eye contact with Jess, then popped it.

"I think you know." Jess's eyes started to tear up. She couldn't help it, her and Billy's relationship was so new, so vulnerable. It had left her vulnerable without even knowing.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" With her hands bunched into fists by her sides, Jess shot up from her seat. She was now facing the bleachers and Carol head-on.

"Please!" Carol scoffed and rolled her eyes. "What made you think you were ever special to him? You're just another girl he conquered. Believe me, once he's done with you, he's back to moi."

"You can't be serious?" Jess couldn't help the tears that rolled down her soft cheeks and onto the polished floor. The last thing she wanted to do was cry, in front of Carol no less, but her heart had just shattered into a million pieces. "Billy, he- he- "

"Wouldn't do that?" Carole cackled. "My, how naïve." Twisting her petite figure, Carole shared a laugh with some girls behind her, causing Jess to run out of the gym and into the locker room. She furiously took her gym clothes off, dressing herself as fast as she could. After which, she left the gym and went outside to sob on the picnic tables.

-

"What's up with you? I didn't see you after P.E," Billy spoke softly to Jess who had squished herself against her side of the car. Max was in the back, looking at the couple apprehensively. Jess just stared out of the window, glowering in her corner.

"Jess?" She still didn't respond. She couldn't respond without crying and yelling and having her face heat up to the point where she may explode. "Jess, talk to me."

Jess didn't respond until Billy pulled up to her driveway. Once she got out, she turned around to speak to the boy.

"Don't bother picking me up tomorrow." Slamming the door in his face, Jess turned and walked into her house, shutting the door behind her. Billy sat at the wheel for a minute, wondering why she was acting this way, what could he have done?

"What did you do?" Max demanded as she leaned towards the front seat.

"I have no idea." Max tsked and shook her head.

"Well, fix it."

"Why do you care?"

"She's the only girl you've liked that is actually alright." Billy shook his head in annoyance. Why would he care if Max liked her or not? Why would he care if Jess was angry? Who cares? But the more he thought about how angry he was for Jess being angry, the more he felt lonely and the more he felt her slip away. He screwed up somehow, he doesn't know how yet. But Jess was obviously pissed off so he couldn't just march up to her door right now.

Hanging his head with guilt, Billy drove away. Jess watched his car turn the corner before she laid back down on her bed. After a minute, Jess reached up for her phone and dialed Delilah's number.

"Yeah?" Delilah picked up. Jess refused to cry on the phone so she took a deep breath.

"Hey. My parents are out of town tomorrow. Wanna get shit-faced?"

-

After crying the night before, Jess had walked to school without a problem. As she sat in Stats, she could feel Billy's eyes bore through her skull and try to pierce through her brain to her eyes. She wouldn't turn around to acknowledge him- she couldn't.

All she could feel was embarrassment. Embarrassment for herself for letting herself get close to him at all. This is why she didn't want to trust him, she knew the type of boy he was and what would happen and she still ignored her instincts. Now she got herself hurt.

"... and that's how you find the population mean." Mrs. Kameyer circled the complicated equation and Jess quickly jotted down her notes in a new notebook. "Isn't that interesting, Mr. Hargrove?"

The sound of Billy clearing his throat and shifting in his seat floated over to Jess's ears. She didn't seem bothered but in reality, she was imagining each and every muscle in his back ripple with each movement.

"Yeah..." he responded unenthusiastically.

"More interesting than Ms. Carlisle's hair?" At this, Jess's ears turned red and the class started laughing. She patted her hair down and turned away from leering eyes.

After the class quieted down and Billy didn't feel as embarrassed, his eyes shifted up to Jess's soft curls glowing in the morning sun. She gently wrote down notes as the class went along and she would sometimes stare out the window.

She wanted more than him. More than this town. That's what Billy realized. Maybe that's why she was so angry, he was too small for her. She'd love California. It was big and there were more opportunities. She would thrive and she'd be happy.

He needs to talk to her soon.

The bell rang and Jess left before Billy could get a word out. Letting her go, he slowly walked out of the classroom to Delilah Mason handing out fliers to a party... at Jess's house.

He needs to talk to her tonight.

-

"Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer!" Tommy H. yelled as he ran into the Carlisle household. Jess pinched the bridge of her nose as she closed the front door, shutting out the last light of day. She and Delilah were setting up for the party when they realized that they didn't have a keg. And who better to call?

"You can put it over there," Jess pointed to the kitchen sink that she and Delilah plugged and filled with ice.

"Awesome. So psyched for this party. Who knew a murderer could throw a party?" Tommy cackled. Jess willed herself not to explode at him as he set the keg in the sink. He brought the beer, after all.

After the pair ushered him out, they started to get ready for the party. Jess took a shower, scrubbing every inch of her body as if she were covered in hardened clay, and Delilah finished setting up the cups. They didn't set up any snacks or anything, it's not like people are coming to eat.

With towels wrapped around every inch of her body, Jess stared at herself in the mirror. She felt déjà vu flood through her brain as she thought about the night of Halloween. The night that she realized her feelings for Billy.

She shook herself to rid of that memory and tilted her head to the side to let the towel slide off her hair. She blow-dried it and got dressed, leaving minimal time for makeup.

The first wave of people arrived around 9:30, filling the living room and kitchen with sweaty, dancing teenagers. Jess made sure to lock every door, except the closet downstairs, so that people wouldn't barge into her room to make out.

Jess didn't feel like having a good time at all. Delilah was dancing with some band kids and having fun, but Jess just crossed her arms and stared at the party sight before her. She started to wish that she hadn't thought of a party a long time ago. This didn't make her feel any better; in fact, it made her feel stressed.

The doorbell rang and Jess immediately sprung up to open the door. She was met with Billy Hargrove, standing right in front of her. His stoic expression softened when he saw it was her.

No matter what she said to him, no matter how badly she wanted him to leave, seeing her will always make him melt.

"Oh," Jess left the door open as she wandered back into her house. Shutting the oak door lightly, Billy followed her.

"Jess, we need to talk." Choosing not to face him as she stopped at the keg in the sink, Jess sighed and filled her empty plastic, red cup.

"Why?"

"Because you're mad at me and I'd like to know why." Her drunken state couldn't hold back the massive eye roll that washed over her face.

"Can't I be mad? Why does my anger need to be explained? Just leave me alone- " Jess tried to shove her way past him, but he stopped her. "Billy. Let me go."

"Just listen- " Jess ignored his pleas as she sauntered into the middle of the dance floor, being pushed by a bunch of teens.

"Billy, leave me alone!" A familiar headache creeped into her skull, making Jess's vision turn black and then clear again.

It was happening again.

"Can we go somewhere private?" Billy tried to grasp Jess's arm but she yanked it free.

"Go away!" She screamed. The more the monster within her tried to claw its way out, the more she felt herself being suffocated. She started to cry, begging with whatever was inside of her to leave her alone.

Billy looked at her, hurt. She didn't notice, she was too busy clamping her ears under her hands. He shook his head and tried to reason with her one more time.

"Jess- "

"Leave me the fuck alone!" Jess turned around and shoved people out of the way as she tried to walk towards her room. She was never going to make it without passing out on the floor. Desperate, her eyes fell on the coat closet a few feet away. She stumbled towards it and pulled it open. She shut herself inside so that she could seize in silence.

Only, when the seizure was supposed to kick in, her vision flickered and then everything seemed to look darker. The air felt thinner and specks of dust floated around her head. Dark vines climbed up the walls of her closet, making her wonder where she was.

Carefully, Jess opened the door and peered our, seeing no one in her cold, dark house. Everything looked different, yet it was exactly like her house.

Thunder rumbled outside and red lightning clashed in the sky. Frightened, Jess fell back into her closet and closed the door. Sobbing quietly, Jess hugged her knees close to her chest and rocked herself gently, humming Romeo and Juliet to herself to help ease her fear.

-

A familiar feeling of nausea pounded on Jess's head, screaming to be let in. Bile threatened to spill out of her as she tried to sit up. Her head felt like it wanted to detach itself and throw itself into a fire. Her throat felt dry and scratchy and her face felt unmoisturized and dry.

To summarize, Jess felt horrible.

"Wakey wakey, tea and bakey," Delilah hummed as she entered with tea, bacon and eggs. What was usually a delightful smell to meet in the morning ended up making Jess feel all the more nauseous.

"Oh God," Jess hunched over and willed herself not to vomit.

"Ah shit, wrong move?" Sighing and choosing to keep the tea, Delilah walked over to Jess's bed with a pill bottle. "Here, take one every four hours. It'll keep you feeling less like shit."

"Thanks," Jess gulped the tea along with whatever pill was in Delilah's bottle. "Did you sleep here?"

"The couch. It's better than my bed, anyways." The pair sat in silence for a minute before Jess groaned.

"Shit! My parents come home today and the house probably looks wrecked."

"Don't worry, I've already started cleaning. I can get it done before they come home." Shaking her head no, Jess started to stand up. The lack of food in her system protested in the form of abdominal pain and Jess fell back down.

"Bad idea."

"No shit." Delilah tsked and patted her best friend's leg. "I'm going to clean some more. Also, Billy still wants to talk to you."

"What?" Jess's head popped up.

"You totally blew him off last night. He found you passed out in the closet. Anyways, I gave him the tiny lock key and he set you in here. He seemed pretty pissed."

"He's pretty pissed? I'm more pissed! He- "

"Who cares? Jess! You're crazy about him and he's crazy about you. It doesn't matter who did what." Jess held her head in her hand and shook her head.

"You don't get it. What he did was unforgivable."

"And what did he do that was so bad? Throw someone out the window?" As soon as those words left Delilah's mouth, Jess's head whipped towards her. Jess searched for any sign of remorse, but Delilah was dead serious. "It seriously can't be that bad."

Closing her eyes and breathing carefully, the brunette recalled why she was mad at Billy. He kissed another girl... but Carol never said it was when Billy and her were... they weren't even a thing. All the more reason not to get upset.

She had no right to be mad.

Jess groaned. "I have to apologize, don't I?"

"Yeah, that would be ideal," Delilah nodded.

a/n thank you guys for being so patient! i suddenly got no motivation for this book but i'm trying to get it back!!