ZOEY AKILA bennet !
sugarhill, zoey's house
featuring; @itszoeyb .

ZOEY STARED AT the toilet where she had jus threw her actual guts out. this is the whole reason why she doesn't force herself to eat because this is where she ends up.

when she finished she could only stare at the toilet bowl, where she had just emptied the contents of her stomach. the sensation of heaving and the sound of gagging had made its way out of her throat, and she felt weak and dizzy.

the sound of gagging made its way out of her throat when she kept thinking of the thought of food itself, causing her to repeat the cycle of vomiting.

this was the main reason zoey didn't like to force herself to eat.. she knew that it would lead to this. the mere thought of food was enough to make her nauseous. she had tried to eat something earlier, but the taste and texture had made her gag causing her to run to the bathroom.

zoey was afraid of eating, and she knew that it wasn't healthy. she had read about anorexia and she recognized some of the symptoms in herself. she didn't want to develop an eating disorder, but she couldn't help feeling disgusted by food.

zoey took a deep breath and splashed some water on her face. she knew that she had to eat something, but she didn't know how to overcome her fear. she felt trapped, and she knew she wasn't gonna be able to talk about this without feeling embarrassed .

zoey had been ignoring someone in particular for a few days. she knew better than to do that but she always didn't think stuff through.

as in ; darrian.

she didn't know why but every time she saw him after that particular day she just would stop talking as much as she would, after he had called her childish for talking she made sure not to speak around him as much.

and it was obvious because zoey was the type to never shut up. like she could go on about a topic for hours without getting bored with the same person.

but after that small humbling from ddot it made her realize that she might just be a bother to him. like he actually doesn't like her — well maybe not even only him, what if other people don't too?

zoey felt her eyes prick at the thought of her friends not liking her as much as she does. she hates when she overthinks everything because then she'll just be in a puddle of her own thoughts.

so here she was sitting in her bed with her legs crossed — zoned out and just thinking of every possibility where her friends had gotten mad at her. she didn't know why but she just did.

the sound of her phone ringing brought her out of her overthinking mess fortunately. zoey snapped out of it before pinking up her pink covered case that held her phone and slid on the green button to accept the call.

"yo zoey?"

zoey had to literally held her chest so her heart didn't launch out of it from the sound of the boy she had been ignoring like the flag.

"hi—hey." zoey stuttered, trying to sound casual but she knew she was failing so bad at this game. she internally winced from the sound of her voice because why was she stuttering? she never stutters.

it was silent on the line causing zoey to bite on her nails, she was never out and she didn't even know why. ddot cleared his throat, "nothin uh csn i come ova so you could tutor me? my moms been on my ass about that shit."

zoey gulped, feeling a little guilty for ignoring him. now she had no choice but to say yes because she hated saying no to people — not like she was gonna say no in the first place.

"mhm yeah. you have my location." zoey replies in a quiet tone.

"aight. bye." ddot didn't waste a second to hang up which made zoey feel grateful but she frowned at the same time. she knew he didn't like her; and she was slowly falling out of the idea of trying to be his friend.

zoey stayed directly in her exact spot where she was before — not even bothering to do anything like take out her binder none of that. well that was until she heard her front door bell ring.

that's when it had finally settled in her mind that ddot was already at her house. zoey's heart dropped to the bottom of her ass — she got up so quick she almost slipped on air.

zoey began running down her stairs with a panicked face. "okay—yeah. okay." she mumbled to herself; she didn't know why she was nervous because she never really was around him.

zoey sucked it up and opened the door for him.

as zoey opened the door, she saw ddot standing in front of her, with a hoodie over his head before he lifted his head up. she was staring for so long she didn't even notice which caused him to mug her.

"you gon keep starin or open the door?" ddot muttered irritatedly which caused her to nod frantically and opening the door wider for him to enter. zoey was gonna make sure to not do anything to piss him off cause he was obviously in a prissy mood.

when they made it up to her room that was when zoey had remembered where she had out her binder in and took it out of the closet it was stuffed in.

during the like small tutoring session zoey really wasn't really trying or none of that — her mind was spiraling with many thoughts that she couldn't focus on what they were doing right now. ddot could tell they weren't being productive with the way zoey was talking so low with barely any words coming out of her mouth.

the thing is that in his eyes zoey was easy to read and he could already see by the fake facade she was holding up, she wasn't even smiling like she usually does, "and that's the formula to this equation." she mumbled, pointing at a random sheet of paper.

zoey starts biting on her nails when she feels ddot looking at her with the deepest stare. she doesn't wanna look up because she didn't wanna meet his eyes so she just kept looking down at the papers.

"you ain't gon put our playlist on??" ddot breaks the silence causing zoey to finally look at him. she immediately feels a giddy feeling spark up in her stomach. "i didn't know if you even liked it." she admits.

ddot pulls his hand up to play with his chain but he remembers it isn't there. it out a damp in his mood but he doesn't say anything. "nah you can play it, ion mind."

zoey's face broke out into a soft smile when she turns around to grab her phone and connect it to her tv. the sound of lil durk playing in the background at a low volume creates a relaxed and chill atmosphere. the music is not overpowering, but it's still audible enough to be enjoyable.

zoey had fallen back into her quiet mode where she wasn't uttering a single word to ddot but pointing at random things — explaining it in a low tone before shutting her mouth once again.

ddot found it weird because she was the type of girl to never stop talking so why wasn't she talking right now?

zoey starts zoning out. all the thoughts that were in her mind was just nitpicking every little thing she was doing at the moment. maybe she should have switched out her outfit since the shirt was revealing. or maybe she should have done her hair before he came over—she didn't know why she was caught in her head like this normally she would jus spill everything out.

and unknowingly to her ddot could tell.

ddot sucks his teeth, letting out a small sigh afterwards before speaking up about her weird behavior. "bro—close this shi we ain't doin it." he took the binder and shut it close right in her face.

zoey furrows her eyebrows, "what?"

"you heard me, we ain't do this aight? you obviously look like you ain't on this shi so let's jus do sum else." ddot refers to the way she wasn't paying attention earlier. "oh." was the only thing zoey could mutter back because she didn't know what to say.

ddot was sick of how she was acting ; yeah he didn't like the fact that she spoke every thought that popped up in her mind but it didn't feel better to not have her talk at all.

"what's wrong zo? why you actin different?" he asked her, his voice softening.

zoey's heart melts from the way he was speaking to her. even if it was just a couple of words it met a lot more to her when he spoke to her that way.

"i'm okay. just tired." zoey said, trying to brush it off. she really did wanna pour out her whole heart to him but she didn't wanna be a burden now, and theirs something's she didn't wanna admit to him.

ddot bit his lip, "is you mad at me?"

that sentence took zoey aback because she didn't know that she mattered to him, or if he even cared about her but him asking her that—in her mind he liked her.

zoey couldn't hold back the smile that was making its way on her face, "nooo. why would i be mad?"

"you wasn't talkin like you usually do." ddot shrugs. zoey's smile immediately falls from her face from that one simple statement, from the way he had said that it made her think that her talking a lot was something normal; which meant he was annoyed by her almost everyday.

"does my talking annoy you? like i know i talk a lot and i just tried not to talk a lot around because i thought you were pissed off from the way i talk, and i don't know maybe my voice annoys you—does my voice annoy you?"

at this point she was just rambling and saying a bunch of nothing but ddot couldn't help but bite back the smile that was forming. that's zoey.

"nah you good, ya voice don't annoy me. but you jus talk a lot—ain't nothin wrong wit it that's just you." he tells her before laying his head back on her head board.

soon he feels zoey lean back too, placing her head on his shoulder. "so you don't think i'm annoying?"

ddot sucks his teeth. "that's a stretch."

zoey gasps—taking her head off his shoulder. ddot laughs at her change of mood before pulling hire head back towards him. "nah i was playin zo, chill."

zoey felt a warm feeling in her chest, the way ddot was acting made her want to hug him so bad. she didn't forget what he had said a couple days ago but she wasn't the type to hold grudges.

zoey let's her mind wonder onto how a hug from him would feel, she wants to hug him—like a whole big teddy bear hug. but she didn't know if they were up to that point in their friendship.

"you wanna go out?" he asks. ddot turns his head to look back at zoey, who was staring into space but nods nonetheless. zoey starts to suggest something, but then stops herself mid-sentence. "whereee—ooo let's go to the park!" she exclaims.

ddor nods in agreement but then adds, "put sum else on cause you look.. jus put somethin else on damn." his comment catches her off guard, and she's not sure how to respond.

she felt a self-conscious now, yes she was sensitive.

"why does it look bad? don't lie," she asks in all honesty but ddot shakes his head frantically before sitting up, "nah you don't look bad zo, i promise you don't aight? but it's just cold outside,"

zoey takes his word because it might be chilly since it's night time so she goes through with it.  zoey stood up to go look for something to change into and she found a two set of sweat wear.

it was light pink so she decided she would just wear her crispy air forces along with it.

when zoey left to go into the bathroom that was connected to her room, before she could even shut her door she heard ddot speaking on the phone. "whatchu want from me naomi?"

zoey felt a lump in her throat when she heard that name come out his mouth for some reason. she didn't know why either that's what felt even worse.

she knew better than to listen onto his conversation but she's done way worse than this. zoey hears ddot kiss his teeth — something he would do when he was pissed off. she could almost hear the mug plastered on his face.

"no nigga i'm fuckin busy. go suck somebody's else's dick i'm busy naomi." he groaned while zoey's jaw literally dropped. how did he say that so casually? that's what made her cringe.

zoey couldn't manage to hear whatever the other person said but from what ddot said next it was obvious that they wouldn't go out together anymore. "aight i'm comin in a bit."

as the thought crossed her mind, zoey couldn't help but frown. she knew that ddot was leaving soon, but the idea of him leaving her for somebody else was almost too much to bear. even though they had only known each other for a short while, zoey had already become attached to him. it was a feeling she couldn't quite explain, but it was there nonetheless.

she couldn't handle the way that she was so quick to attach herself to someone, knowing damn well that they didn't wanna be around her once.

as she leaned her head against the bathroom door, lost in thought, zoey couldn't help but feel frustrated with herself. she knew that she had a tendency to attach herself to people too quickly, and it always seemed to end the same way. she was left with the feeling of being alone and abandoned, wondering what she had done wrong. the thought of it all was almost too much for her head.

zoey does what she needed to do before leaving the bathroom—bearing herself for hearing the words that were gonna flow out of ddot's mouth.

"yo zo, i gotta dip ma dukes need me at home." he lied straight to his teeth, the words coming out his mouth like it was nothing but the straight truth but zoey knew better.

the only thing she could do was nod and plaster a fake smile on her face. "it's okay, it's late anyways." she mumbled, placing the clothes she was gonna put on earlier on her desk chair. ddot furrows his eyebrows, if he had just told her they weren't gonna go out then why wasn't her clothes already on?

he shrugs it off, thinking she had just forgot cause zoey forgets a lot of things, but little did he know.

ddot gets up from his position on the bed, stretching his arms out and letting out a yawn. "aight bye," he mumbled under his breath—beginning to lace on his sneakers he had taken off before he walked in her room.

when ddot walked out her bedroom that's when zoey realized he had left his phone on her bed. she made her way to to pick it up, ignoring the flooding messages that were coming from his phone.

"dot—you forgot ya phone." zoey called out as she jogged up to him, she was only wearing socks, and as she tried to come to a stop, she slipped on the floorboard. ddot was fast enough before she could fall, ddot turned around and caught her, wrapping his arms securely around her lower back.

zoey was met with a heavenly scent it was a potent mix of good perfume and a light, clean smell of soap. before he came over. she knew instantly that ddot had showered before coming over, and the realization made her smile.

zoey felt her heart race as ddot held her tight. she couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed for slipping in the first place. as she looked up at him, she felt a surge of emotion that she couldn't quite explain. it was a feeling she had never experienced before, and it left her feeling a little bit confused.

when she had finally snapped out of it she cleared her throat, pulling away. "here—sorry." she mumbled embarrassingly.

ddot nods while zoey just stands their awkwardly. she felt a sudden urge to hug him. zoey felt an inexplicable feeling coursing through her body. she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, but it was there, pulsing through her veins.

without thinking, zoey stepped forward and wrapped her arms around ddot. she felt his body tense up for a moment, but then he relaxed and hugged her back. as they stood there, holding each other, zoey felt a sense of peace wash over her.

"aight stop allat corny shi na." ddot mumbled which caused zoey to let out a soft smile. "okay now, bye." she pulls away from him, watching him walk away.

zoey walked back into her room. she didn't know how to feel honestly, she felt a giddy feeling at the bottom of her stomach.

she wasn't quite sure what had happened between her and ddot, but she knew that it had been something special. it was a feeling she had never experienced before, and it left her feeling both excited and nervous.

aa she lay down on her bed, zoey couldn't help but wonder what the future held for her and ddot. she knew that they had a special connection, but she also knew that things could change in an instant. she had a thing that she attached herself to people too quickly, and she didn't want to get hurt.

despite her reservations, zoey felt a sense of hope stirring within her. she didn't know that this night had changed things for both of them, for better or for worse.

F SPEAKS 💁🏾‍♀️

NOTE— should this have been longer? yes. but i was workin on the dd book and ddot book hall wanted so 🙄🙄. anywayssss fia loves ya baddd 💗💗.