Theodore

5 days later

"knock!"

"knock!"

I heard a knock on the door, as I laid motionless on my bed while staring at the ceiling. Why does my heart hurt so much? its almost been a week since I last saw Jaelen and she's been calling me non stop since then, and Winifred even tried, but I ignore her calls as well. And my parents even notice my sudden change in behavior. I was just too heartbroken to even care.

Seeing Jaelen except Brandon's offer so easily made me realize that a girl like her has no business being with someone like me and that just broke my heart even more. But even If I'm not alright at least she's with someone who can truly make her happy even if it is Brandon, because that's all I want is for her to be happy.

I heard the door swing open and heavy footsteps approach the bed.

"Theodore? What the heck man. I've been knocking on your door for about 7 minutes. What's going on with you? And why do you look like you just lost your best friend or something?", Kai looked at me confused.

I kept laying there without saying a word. I just want to be left alone. Why won't they leave me be, I just want to stay In my room listening to the blues. That's how I felt inside sad, empty and lost, the music would make me slightly less sad.

"Theodore, man, you can talk to me just tell me what's wrong," Kai said, with a frown.

Theodore, please?"

"Is this about the whole Jaelen and Brandon incident at the club?" He whispered

And I quickly turn my head to look at him. "Please", I softly said. "Don't say her name around me. It just makes my heart ache even more", I whispered and started looking back up at the ceiling. God, this is the worst pain that I've ever felt, and I can't do anything but cry about it. It hurts so bad when you have feelings for someone and you thought that person liked you as well, just to learn you weren't enough for them. So they went and found better, this pain I feel in my chest is worse than any physical pain I've ever experienced.

Knowing I wasn't good enough for her is the toughest pill to swallow and I'm drowning in my own self-pity.

"Hey!, Hey It's going to be alright, man don't worry about it," Kai said, trying to comfort me.

"It just hurts so much". I pulled myself into a fetal position and began crying. "I w-was s-so happy w-with her, a-a-and w-wh-whenever sh-she would s-smile at me I f-felt so complete, and nothing e-else mattered, f-for the first time in my life I felt like it. "N-now I just feel s-so empty a-a-and l-lost wi-without h-h-her", I sobbed.

"Theodore?", he whispered and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You're my best friend, and I hate seeing you like this. I can't say I know what you're going through, because I've never been in a serious relationship before, so I don't know what that's like".

He looked at me with sympathy. "But I can tell that you really care about-"

"I l-love her" I looked at him through my bloodshot eyes. "I've been in love with her from the moment I first laid eyes on her". "And no-now I'll n-never get t-t-to tell h-her how I f-f-feel".

Most would say I was absurd or too young to know what love was. I could even hear my father's voice now. it's nothing more than lust Theodore, what your feeling is just of the flash it well past and you mustn't be weak and given to temptation.

I may have been young and didn't know much about the world, but If I was sure about anything it was that I was undeniably in love with Jaelen. From the very first moment our eyes met and blessed me with that breathtaking smile of hers that stops my heart every minute, I felt it then, each moment we'd had every kiss, hug touch and whenever I looked in her eyes I felt a little more.

A part of me knew things wouldn't work out for us, and I prayed every night that I was wrong, and me and her would come out on top. But everything happens for a reason, and even though things between us didn't go as planned, if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Even though I was hurting right now, I don't regret anything. Meeting Jaelen was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'm grateful for the time we spent together.

"Theodore, I think you should call her and at least hear her out, so you can get the whole story from her," Kai suggested. But I wasn't ready to face her, no matter how much I wanted to see those beautiful big brown eyes and taste those soft and delicate lips of hers.

God, I just can't stop myself from thinking about her.

"Theodore! You're really starting to worry about me now, dude".

I take a deep breath before saying anything. "I can't call her", I said, looking away from him. "At least not right now. It just hurts me to even think that she might have gone home with Brandon that night, and it just breaks my heart".

" But Theo-"

"Kai, please I don't want to talk about this anymore," I laid back down. "If it'd make you feel better, I promise to call her when I get myself together".

~~~

My brothers were on spring break and my mom was picking them up from the airport. I barely left my room these days since I was on spring break as well, so when I walked Into the kitchen this morning a huge smile formed on my moms face when she saw me and said I was going with her to get Peter and Josh. I went to protest and tell her I wasn't feeling well, but she wasn't going for it and before I knew It she was pulling me to the car.

I had my eyes closed with my head resting against the window. Mom put the car in park letting me know we were at our destination.

"The boy said they're getting off the plane now and should be out in a minute", mom announced.

I'm usually excited whenever my brothers come home, we would all get together with Win and Kai, and go to the movies, arcade or carnival, just goofing around like we used to do. But with everything that's been going on with me, I didn't want to go anywhere. I just wanted to stay at home locked in my room until college.

I felt a soft hand brush the hairs out my face. "Oh, honey what's wrong? You've been like this since you and Kai had that science project. If it's because you guys didn't get the grade you wanted, I want to let you know it's gonna be alright sweetheart. You're a straight A student and one bad grade isn't gonna hurt your gpa".

When she called me sweetheart, It reminded me of the nickname Jaelen had given me. My heart was beating against my chest and the air around me felt like it was getting thicker. I couldn't do this, I felt my eyes begin to sting with tears.

I opened the door and hopped out getting as far away as I could.

"I-I just ne-need some air!", I yelled to my mom.

I ran to the side of the entry, placed a hand on the wall while my other hand covered my face. It's like no matter what I do, how hard I try to forget it's Impossible because she was everywhere. When I closed my eyes, I listened to the songs, and when I was alone In my room at night I could hear her beautiful voice. It was just too much.

Something had to give, I couldn't keep doing this to myself. She didn't want me and I was gonna have to accept It, and move on because I knew she would. Jaelen would move on and forget all about the shy boy who wouldn't even fight for her, she deserves someone who wouldn't run away when things got tough. She deserved someone who's going to cherish her like the gem she was. And I pray she finds It.

A weak smile formed as I let my thumb swipe over her name In my phone.

She's my first love and first heartbreak, I couldn't forget her If I tried. "Theodore!", I was pulled Into a bear hug before I could register what was occurring.

"It's so good to see you little bro", another pair of arms joined. And we were now in a group hug.

When we pulled away I wiped my eyes, getting rid of any evidence that I was crying. Last thing I wanted is for them to say anything to mom and she'll tell dad, and I really don't want to explain the embarrassing story of how I got my heart broken by a girl I wasn't even supposed to be seeing.

Peter messed up my hair. "Let us have a look at you, man", he placed his hands on my shoulders.

I give a weak smile. "I've missed you guys", I looked between the two.

We began walking in the direction of the car.

"We've missed you too, little bro, and we've heard you finally got yourself a girlfriend, and you didn't even tell us", Peter placed a hand over his chest. "I feel offended, but it's all good. I will have plenty of time to get to know the lucky girl who's caught our brother's attention".

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me when he mentioned Jaelen. We hadn't even been dating or I don't think we were, no doubt it was Win who told them about us, Kai had just learned about us two days after the club Incident.

"Now we just gotta find Josh someone and we can go on triple dates", Peter wrapped his arms around Josh and me. "Speaking of, how's my Winnie bear been?", Peter smiled.

I haven't had a chance to talk with Win, with her being friends with Jaelen she already filled her In on what happened. And I was kind of avoiding her as well, but her parents going to my dad's Church made things awkward when I saw her.

"She's fine", I got in the back seat this time to avoid our moms eyes.

My brothers embraced my mother in a hug that was filled with love and longing. I just sat In the car waiting till they were done, with Peter and Josh being here they weren't going to let mope around in my room. And with my birthday being a few weeks away they were most likely gonna want to throw me a party. I was gonna be 18 and I wasn't the slightest excited for what my brothers had in store for me.

If I was lucky they would get me a cake, sing happy birthday and call it a day.

hope you guys enjoyed it till next time and remember as long as you try that's all that matters 🙌🏽