"Okay."

Frank's eyes opened. Gerard had spoken.

He looked up to see Gerard's stern expression that was in fact hiding his fright, hesitation and upheaval.

"I'll tell you."

Frank spontaneously pulled Gerard in a hug then. "Thank you," he mumbled in Gerard's shoulder.

"I'll tell you but... Not now." Gerard added quietly.

Frank pulled back to look questioningly at him.

"I... I need time, and I just wanna enjoy this trip without thinking of it. Please, let me enjoy these last few days with you."

"We won't hate you for your past, Gerard. It's behind you. I promise we won't."

Gerard scoffed saddly. "I promise you will. Don't make promises you can't keep."

Frank peered at Gerard. "Okay... Sure, you need time, no problem. But you'll tell us as soon as we get to Belleville, okay?"

Gerard nodded. His hand shyly reached out for Frank's, and Frank interlocked their fingers.

"Frank?"

"Mmh?"

"Thank you."

Frank looked at Gerard and smiled. He pulled him in a hug, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Anytime."

Gerard eventually pulled back and peered at Frank. He slowly leaned forward and Frank didn't budge; he just held his breath, waiting for what might come next. Gerard hesitantly pressed his lips on Frank's, trembling like it was the very first time he was kissing someone.

He didn't know why he was doing that or why it made his body react so nervously. Maybe because he needed Frank, he needed to know that Frank was there for him and loved him.

That Frank loved him too.

Frank responded to the kiss and gently wrapped his hands around Gerard's waist, pulling him closer and almost hugging him.

When they finally pulled apart, a comforting hug immediatly followed.

______

~One week later because nothing happens during the rest of the trip so the author is too lazy to write about it :) ~

Frank had warned Anthony that Gerard would explain everything once back in Belleville. The twins had let Gerard enjoy the rest of the trip, behaving like nothing had happened, but looking worriedly at Gerard everytime the red-haired boy looked away.

Every student had come home in one piece - or so, everybody was exhausted from the 5 hours of jetlag. Luckily, it was now Saturday and perhaps Gerard could get back to his 'normal' sleep cycle within 48 hours.

Gerard came back home alone, his parents being at work at 10 am in Belleville. He went in his room to take a huge nap; his body didn't know if it was morning or dinner time.

Gerard took a glance at Mikey's room in the way. His brother was obviously still asleep. Ten in the morning, how early for the Way brothers...

Gerard fell on his mattress with a thud. His mind and body were too weary to notice the heat of the incoming summer - it was May after all - so he immedialy fell into a deep dreamless slumber.

After waking up at 4 pm, he decided to watch pointless tv until he felt tired enough to go to sleep around 3 am. He needed to rest because tomorrow, he would confront the twins and tell them everything.

______

Gerard woke up around noon and luckily, he had set his appointment with the twins for 2 pm because really, he needed a strong breakfast and a shower. Mainly a shower. He would also re-dye his hair, the color was fading away.

•••
The doorbell rang and Gerard welcomed the twins in. He had made sure they were alone : Mikey was hanging out with Pete and his parents were at the cinema.

Not a word was spoken and Frank and Anthony just followed Gerard to his room. Gerard sat on his desk chair while the twins sat on Gerard's bed, in front of the red-haired boy. They were looking at him expectantly and questioningly, eager to discover Gerard's story at last.

Gerard looked down and finally spoke, his heart racing in his chest.

"We all have our demons, I do too. Her name was Barbara."

Gerard scraped his throat. "To be clear I haven't always been the one I am. I used to be... Pretty chubby. Fat, actually. I was self-conscious about it - still am. I wasn't popular either, more like the nerd nobody minded. But I was in love, I was completely infatuated by this girl, Barbara. She's the one I'm referring to in the diary. But I was a hopeless case, girls like her - beautiful and popular - just don't hang out with nerds like me, forget about dating."

Gerard bit his nails. "I had watched her for years from afar, never daring to speak to her. But one day, something... Unexpected happened."

Gerard felt his heart squeeze at the mere thought of that.

~Two years ago, Gerard's POV~

I sit down at the cafeteria and look at Barbara. She is so beautiful !

She is talking to all her friends, mostly to Alex, the captain of the football team. I wish I was tall, muscular and popular like him...

The bell rings. Oh, damnit, Alex and his guys are walking towards me... I'm in trouble, are they going to hit me again?

"Hey, creep !"

Alex, Dan and John push me against my locker. Okay, keep calm Gerard.

"Answer when we're talking to you." John, the dumb sack of muscles speaks, grasping my hair and tugging it back to make my head bump the locker behind me.

"Hey, don't break his face." Dan laughs. "Barbara wants him in one piece."

"W-what?" I stutter.

"Okay nerd. Here's the deal. We can make you like us if you want, you can be handsome and popular, and above all you can have Barbara."

"W-what?" I stutter again like an idiot.

"I think he's retarded," John scoffs. How ironic.

"Look," Dan begins. "We know how obsessed you are with her, and we wanna help." He said, putting a hand on his heart's location. Wow, what's the catch? "But for that, you're gonna have to trust us and do exactly as we say." He ends up sternly.

"We know exactly what she likes, and we're gonna make you a stud for her, but you're gonna have to earn it and work hard." Alex says.

I gulp. Should I accept? I look at Barbara. Her soft chestnut curls, her sweet laugh, her face, everything about her make my insides melt. Alex holds his hand towards me and I shake it.

~

"I didn't realize I had just sold myself to the devil for a dream that, in fact, was never real." Gerard kept gnawing his nails.

"What happened then? What did the guys do?" Anthony asked and Gerard's memory came back to him.

~Two years ago, Gerard's POV~

"Okay champ', you're gonna have to shower that greasy hair of yours and you'll do me the pleasure of cutting it a little. Maybe you can dye it, Barbara likes fantasy. Anyway, do something about it," Alex pointed at Gerard's mid-long black hair. He was at Alex's house with John.

"W-why?"

Alex shoves me and I almost fall on the floor. "Because I fucking tell you to. And stop acting like a wimp, Barbara likes men, not pussies."

"O-okay." I babbled, a little scared.

"And stop stuttering, for God's sake !" John yells.

I nod, to scared to speak again.

"And you're gonna have to lose a shit ton of weight," John speaks. "I'll be your coach. For starters, no more breakfast, no more pastries, nothing fried and you can forget about McDonalds. Now, do fifty pushups for me."

"F-fifty p-pushups??"

I have never done so many pushups in my life, and by that, I mean in ALL my life, and not in a row.

"Yes, now ! Didn't you hear, pansy?!" he yells and I do as he says. I had never felt so sore in my life after doing that.

Six months. For six months I've done exactly as the three boys told me, starving myself, dressing like they wanted me to and doing a hundred pushups every morning and evening. They help me correct my stutter. Well, 'help' is a big word, let's say they slap me everytime I stutter.

I am so exhausted that as soon as I get back from school, I always pass out to wake up in the morning. Mikey's worried but he has no reason to. Soon Barbara will be my girlfriend and we will watch romantic movies together, holding hands.

I arrive at Alex's house and he lets me in. Dan is here too. 

"You don't look too bad, pansy. You've lost a lot of weight, you almost look normal." Dan speaks.

Well, it is true that I was now really thinner. My inner thighs weren't touching anymore and my belly was flat. I could almost feel abs. However, I remain as pale as a porcelain doll. That wasn't really an issue though, Alex is very pale too. As to my hair, I kept it short now. It kind of makes me look like a baby but I like it.

"There's something new you have to learn now Gee."

That's the first time Alex calls me by something else than an insult.

"Gerard, are you still a virgin?" Dan asks and I nod, making Alex tut.

"Of course he is. Okay now Gerard, Barbara doesn't want just a pretty face but someone who can fuck her real good. You get it?"

"F-fuck her?"

"Oh god..." Dan chuckles, hiding his face in his hand.

"Now go on your knees and suck me off." Alex growls. "If you can make me come then you'll have no trouble licking a pussy."

I widen my eyes, completely shocked.

"Man, he doesn't have the guts, we're wasting our time..." Dan sighs.

"No, wait! I... I'll do it."

For Barbara...

Alex pulls his pants down along with his boxers. I look at Dan, expexting him to leave, but Dan doesn't budge.

"Remember to hollow your cheeks," Alex says as I kneel and meekly take him in my mouth.

Alex barely moans. "Pressure Gee, add more pressure," he demands as Dan watches everything.

I do my best until Alex pushes me and I  confusedly fall back on my butt.

"That was terrible, Way. You're terrible at giving head but I don't care. You're going to suck my dick until you become a fucking expert."

And Alex held his promise. For weeks, all I did was sucking dicks after school : Alex's but also Dan's and John's. I did become an expert - a professionnal, you might say. Yes, I am nothing but a whore, their whore. I'm a slut and nothing more. I hate myself so much.

Mikey sees how much I've changed for Barbara and I know he's trying to confront me about it but I can't stop, not now.

This little show went on and on until I managed to make John come. I feel kind of proud, in fact. Perhaps I'm ready now.

"Very good, Gerard !" Alex applauses, followed by Dan. I've never felt so proud, which is disturbing in that context.

"Now meet us at mine tomorrow after school. It's important, you're almost ready. Do not miss this appointment." Alex threatens.

The next day, I ring at Alex's door and the three boys led me to Alex's room that was now very familiar to me.

"Okay now, final step Gerard."

"Yeah, you're almost ready."

"You look very nice," Alex cooes in my hear, behind me, making me shiver."You've made a lot of progress." He runs a hand in my pitch black hair while I stay still.

"You know what Barbara loves most?" Dan asks and gets closer. I shake my head.

"Submissive boys." Alex whispers. "She likes them obeidient. Like dogs. And you perfectly fit."

Okay, now I'm terrified.

"And you know what could make her yours?" Dan askes again and I shake my head.

"Two words." Alex whispers in my ear. "Sex. Tape."

"You do know what it it, right?" John asks, seeing my incredulous expression.

My heart bounces in my chest. I know very well what a sex-tape is. But they don't really want me to do a... Do they?

I see John get a camera out of a drawer, which indicates me that they clearly did. "Come on man, gotta be shameless for her !"

"O-okay."

I can't quit, not now. I'm so close !

Dan quietly laughs and cups my cheeks. He doesn't waste time to kiss me and force his tongue into my mouth, and I feel Alex kiss my neck.

John turns the camera on. "Here's pretty Gee Way who's about to get his pretty virgin ass wrecked." he giggles like a moron while Dan lays me on the bed.

Alex picks stuff in his nightstand. Lube and... Handcuffs?!

"W-wait..." I begin but Dan shushes me. No condoms, I really hope they don't have any STD...

"Strip," Alex growls and I meekly obey. Both Alex and Dan do the same and once we are fully naked, Dan pushes my head in the pillow, and I feel Alex cuff my wrists to each side of the headboard so my arms were as parted as they could be.

Alex pushes in without any prep, making me gasp, and then Dan pushes in as well next to Alex. I burry my head in the pillow and scream my lungs out. I'm in so much pain ! For Barbara... For Barbara... I feel my tears soak the pillow.

"Don't forget to moan babe," Dan cooes in my ear before nibbling my earlobe.

They begin moving and John doesn't miss a single second of it. Soon, Alex and Dan are pounding me more and more mercilessly.

It hurts so freaking much but oddly, the pain is now mixing with some sort of twisted pleasure and moans begin to escape my mouth. I don't want to like this, it's not right. It's not how I pictured my first time. I wanted it to be gentle and loving, with Barbara...

But I am undeniably enjoying that. How? I'm not even gay. I can't be gay. I love girls, I love Barbara. But if I like it, then... No... It can't be...

And yet, here I am, moaning like a slut in that pillow and I am already so hard. I feel a weird heat in my lower stomach. The boys don't stop though, and the pain comes back as I feel hypersensitive.

John stands up and gets close to my face, the camera in his hand. "And here's Gerard's coming face. Say hi to the camera, Gee."

But I can't. I'm too busy moaning to even notice John and see that he's openly making fun of me. Alex and Dan keep moving, ramming again and again; it seemed endless.

They eventually finish. I pant loudly, my whole body is on fire and my eyes are still teary. My wrists are unshackled and I roll on my back, tears escaping the corners of my eyes and what was left of my dignity now gone.

~

The twins didn't know what to say ; they were too appalled. Gerard gulped to chase a painful lump in his throat.

"That's how I found out I was bi. I denied it for a long time, it was hard for me. No one knew at my school, not even Mikey, at first. Poor dude was like 13 at the time. Anyway, believe it or not but Alex's plan worked."

~18 months ago~

"Hey, you're Gerard Way?"

I raise my head up from my comic book and my heart jumps when I see Barbara looking at me barely three feet from me. She was gorgeous as always with her turquoise eyes. I nod at her.

"Alex told me about you. You changed a lot." She bends over the table I was sitting at. "For me?" she innocently asks in a whisper and I nod again, not daring to make eye contact but I can see her smile. Okay Gerard, now is the time to show her.

"I... I did s-something for you. T-they told me you would like it."

Damnit, that fucking stutter.

I take my phone out and show her the video, my face as flushed as it could be. Barbara doesn't say anything, she just watches. Once the video is over, she looks at me sternly. Oh crap, she's gonna slap me...

She bends even more to reach my ear. "That's hot... Send that to me and join me in the lab during lunchbreak, I have something to show you too..."

She smiles and takes a pencil out, then she writes her number on my hand with it. That's so hot, I'm never gonna wash this hand again...

She talked to me ! She talked to me and I have her number ! She talked to me and I have her number and she just gave me a fucking appointment !!

Barbara gives me another smile and lifts my chin with a finger, and puts a small kiss on my lips. Then she leaves without saying a word, leaving me as I officially melt into a puddle of joy.

~

"Really, I couldn't have been happier. I thought the worst was behind me and that I could finally date Barbara. But really, I couldn't have been further from the truth." Gerard gravely spoke.

______