Gerard didn't know if he could look at Frank and Anthony in the eyes today, not without having flashes of his dream.

He would die of embarrassement for sure !

He walked in the school and swore people were eyeing him more than usual. Did he have something on his face?

He arrived in a hallway and he definitely heard people whisper behind his back. What the hell is going on here?

Ryan walked straight towards him.
"Have you seen it?"

"Seen what?"

Ryan blushed and took his phone out of his pocket and played a montage of Gerard, kissing Anthony in his car, basically eating his mouth on top of him.

He turned white. He didn't remember that at all, where did it come from? Was that what people were talking about behind his back?

It got worse : there was now him, kissing Frank on the hill and Gerard's heart stopped.  I-I thought we were alone !

Was someone stalking him?

And then, there was him kissing Anthony again, behind the school. Gerard wanted to cry. Someone took those videos and followed him, even up to the hill ! What kind of pervert would do that?!

Gerard felt his phone buzz and took it out. He had 6 messages from Mikey and 3 missed phonecalls. He also had texts from Ray, Dallon and Brendon, but none from any of the twins. That was weird...

1 message from Unknown number
"You seen it yet?"
"Fucking bitch"

Gerard paled at the texts and looked around. Someone was definitely watching him.

"Who is it?" Ryan asked.

"N-no one." He put his phone in his pocket, avoiding Ryan's gaze because if he didn't, Ryan could've seen he was lying; and left him.

He felt his breath grow shakier and people's looks on him appeared more insistant on him, oppressing, even.

Gerard spent the morning trying to avoid Frank and Anthony's path at all costs. Oddly, he succeded, even when he had class with them, by always sitting next to other people, avoiding their gaze because he would unavoidably burst into tears, and scampering out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang.

He knew he couldn't avoid them the whole year, but the last thing he wanted was to confront them, so the later the better.

Gerard really felt terrible, for himself, for them. He hated himself at the moment for being such a whore and now a coward.

He hurried confusedly in the hallways.

He didn't look where he was going and he ran into Frank and Anthony.

For the first time, Gerard wanted to get away from them, as far as possible.

He felt his eyes water and a knot form in his throat.

"Gerard, are you okay? You've been avoiding us since this morning, is something wrong?"

Gerard felt his breath quicken along with his heartbeat and his eyes water.

Neither of them knew about me kissing the other. Now they both know it and they're here to confront me about it, tell me how much of a despicable whore I am. It's too late, I've lost my most precious friends, they already hate me.

"F-Frank, Anthony, I- I'm so, so sorry..." He stepped back, his palm raised before him, hardly holding back his tears. He didn't want to explain himself. He just wanted to get out of here and die.

"Hey, calm down buddy, what's going on?" Anthony asked in a soft and utterly concerned voice.

"I'm- I'm so sorry..." Gerard repeated and he began hyperventilating.

He sensed a panic attack settle in in his worthless mind and to avoid any further humiliation, he passed through the twins and jogged away, completely ignoring them. He could hear them call him from afar, but those were just background noises and he started running.

He ran out of the building and got out of school, not really caring that he still had a couple of hours left.

Apparently Frank and Anthony hadn't followed him out. Gerard decided to head back home, he would be alone there. He put his hood on and his hands deep in his pockets.

Gerard practically ran to his house, looking behind him from time to time afraid of being watched and followed. He really was becoming paranoid. He hurried inside to his room and fell on his bed in a thud, face against the pillow.

His phone wouldn't stop buzzing. Maybe he should throw it at the window...

Now that the video had spread, he was receiving dozens of new messages from Mikey, Dallon and Pete. Ray had sent him the video to warn him. Nothing from the twins, probably because they didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.

Gerard was even being texted by people he didn't even know : gossipy girls and all kinds of curious people, guys calling him names that were rarely nice, some were even threatening him, ordering him to 'choose and back off their Anthony/Frank'.

And there was this unknown number.

It wasn't the video that was destroying Gerard, and if it was just 'unknown number', he would just block him and move on. But here, it was dozens of people texting him, and every single mean one hurt.

The most terrible thing was the accumulation of all the little gestures, all the little comments. It had been hours and people were spamming him. Gerard wished to disappear and be forgotten.

2 messages from Unknown number
"They don't fucking love you, no one does"
"You're pitting the twins against each other"

Gerard tended to agree. Apparently since he was here, Anthony and Frank had never fought so much. And Gerard was convinced it was all because of him.

Gerard remembered the video.

He was just creating a fucking mess, messing with the twin's feelings like the whore he was. He felt his eyes water.

You're such a slut. Such a stupid, fucking slut.

Gerard knew the voice in his head, he had heard it before. It was hers.

"Shut up..." he whispered, begging the voice to die off.

Slut.

This single word was tauntingly echoing in his mind, stabbing his feels everytime.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up..." Gerard whimpered, gripping his hair, tugging on it and shutting his eyes tight while curling into a ball.

His phone vibrated again.

"Did you really think they're interested in you? They just pity you. I don't, you're a fucking waste of time"

This one was not even from Unknown Number. Why was he still reading that? And why were people so hateful, especially people that didn't even know him?

Here's the answer : jealousy and mob mentality. Tragic.

2 messages from unknown number
"You don't deserve to live, you're just a whore"
"Stop wasting oxygen, go kys"

It wasn't the first time Gerard was hearing that.

Maybe - just maybe - if so many people were thinking it, then... Maybe it was true? Maybe he should?

Gerard felt sick, he had a knot in his throat that made it painful for him to breathe, like someone was squeezing his neck. Tears were helplessly escaping his bloodshot eyes.

1 message from Unknown number
"I think it'd be better if you died"

Gerard snapped.
Screw it.

Screw his promise of a fucking happy ending. Life is not a goddamn fairytale!!

He stood up and went in the bathroom.

I need to go. They're better off without me. I'm garbage. No one even noticed that I wasn't at school. The twins didn't even text me. They don't care, they don't like me anymore.

His hand slowly reached for the cold piece of metal he was looking for.

He shakily brought it to his wrist.

Maybe he could just scar his face really badly so the twins would no longer like  him, and everything would go back to normal. They would stop fighting over him, people wouldn't be jealous anymore and nobody would pay attention to little ugly scarred Gee anymore.

No. I need to go. I really need to go.

He hesitated but eventually put the blade on the pale, already scarred skin, and digged on it.

He hissed as he pressed it even deeper, slowly trailing it upward.

He couldn't hold his tears anymore, the pain was too intense, even though the cut was barely two inches long.

The blood had started flowing everywhere on the white sink, spurting out at the same pace at his heartbeats, and Gerard's arm was burning like hell.

He raised up his gaze to see his ugly reflexion in the mirror, pathetically crying.

He felt something buzz in his back pocket. He hesitated a second and took his phone out.

1 messages from Frankie
"Wher are u Anth and I are worried??"

2 messages from Anthony
"Gee you don't seem okay. We will be at yours in 10"
"Please be here safe"

Gerard sobbed, both because of the pain and the texts. He was so confused at the moment, what should he do?

A thought crossed his mind : if he did nothing, the twins would find him dead -or at least passed out on the bathroom floor.

In the first case, that would be very selfish of him, that would haunt the twins for the rest of their lives, and Gerard didn't want that. They didn't ask for this shit, Gerard was the one that should suffer, not them.

In the latter case, Gerard knew they would do everything to save him despite everything - because they were decent human beings. They would probably succeed to bring him back and that would be very embarrassing. He would have to be treated by psychiatrists and it would happen all over again.

That was the last thing Gerard wanted. He wanted to stay here with his friends and erase this painful chapter from his life and everybody's mind.

Anyway, he didn't have a choice : he had to stop it all.

He hastily took a towel and wrapped it tightly around his forearm, making himself wince. He sloppily bandaged it but blood was piercing through the fabric. Whatever.

He barely had time to get himself back together - kind of - before he heard a knock at the frontdoor that opened just after.

______