I stand by the door ready to start the next exam, just rescue some children and older people. sounds relatively easy. But without a quirk? maybe not so much.

I refuse to use my quirk. Im not going to use it. No no no no no. Full stop End of story.

I huff and crack my knuckles before pulling away in disgust, they felt all icky and gross. That was until I realised there was dried blood all over my skin, it coated ever single knuckle and finger in a thick dark red.

"Dammit.."
I wince before quickly looking away.

"Good luck Y/n!...."
I hear Uraraka call with a nervous smile, I nod at her and look away guilt sinking in.

Damn I just want to go home.

I want to leave this place.

I had rescued about  5 or 6 people so far, most being very easy. But now a 'Villain' has shown up. Gang Orca.
Slowing down my progression greatly.

"Dammit.... what to do.. what to doooo."
I whisper to myself, then the air caught in my throat as I heard a piercing scream.

I whip towards the sound only to find a pair of helpless people stuck in the rumble, a child and a older lady. The little girl seemed to bleeding. but what concerned me was the 'villain' was going towards them.

The little girl started sobbing as he grew closer, my heart starting thumping hard as my fingers starting tingling. Then a strong instinct kicked in, sending me sprinting forward. Gang Orac then decided to send a fist towards the pair.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"
I angrily yell before sliding infront them, his very strong punch came into contact with my forearms that were held in a x shape. I wince as I feel my bones, ache under the pressure .

He presses further down as I slowly inch back, my skin grating away against the gravelly ground.

"CAN YOU WALK?"
I call out, my voice an octave higher as pain started settling in. Panic also taking place inside my pained body.

"M-my  grandma- her leg is hurt really bad! I cant carry her, i'm not strong enough!"
The little girl dressed into a ripped yellow dress cries, her cheek cut open.

I turn my head to look her in the eyes, my own showed pain but I had to be strong.
"You're very-"

"Tch little hero! You can't hold me for much longer, this isn't even my full strength!"
Gang Orca calls before pushing literally 10 times more harder, I whimper our breathing deeply.
Be strong.
My breath was shaky but I still held my position.

"M-Miss! Are you okay?!"

I turn to her before giving me the brightest smile I could muster.
"Call me Ember... Now don't be afraid, I'll save you and you're Grandma! You can count on me!"

I gulp before mustering you the rest of my power, here goes nothing.

"Be ready to jump to the left, okay little sunflower?"
The little girl nods hesitantly before grabbing her grandmas hand, I nod reassuringly.

"Ready?"
I smile before aiming my arms away and pushing against his fist and jump to the side grabbing the two , Gang Orcas fist slams into the ground. A loud bang sounds out before dust flies up into the air, I shield the two with my body as pieces of rumble fly out and hit me. Many go into my already injured shoulder, but I don't budge.

"Are you alright?"
I manage out with a warm smile, The little girl looks up at me before smiling gently.

"Good work Ember. You did a good job caring about civilians before yourself. You'll definitely pass, I know it."
I look at the little girl in shock as her use of language didn't suit her look, I thought she was like 4 years old.

"Yes good work young hero! I'm proud of you!"
The older women smiled happily, I smile back before
helping them up.

"Time to get you two to safety-"

"Y/N! WATCH OUT!"
I hear a familiar voice scream my name, I turn to it in a panic only to find red hot fire flying towards me.
I see Shoto trying to stop his flames, But a man in the sky was using a wind quirk, causing it to rocket towards me and the two injured  civilians.

Wait two civilians!

Shit- HOW DO I STOP IT-

In a second my body moves on its own and I stand in front of the oncoming flames, my palms out forward. Then milli meters away from hitting us My hands burst into a the blue I've always loved, creating a shield of some sort. The heat felt uncomfortable, I haven't used it in so long.

Then before I knew it it was over, and I collapsed to the ground. Breathing hard and unnatural, I claw at my skin. Fear drilling itself into my mind.

"Miss?!"
I curl up on the ground at those horrid memories flood my vision, blood... blood. so much fucking blood.

I close my eyes hoping to rid of them but It just made things worse.
"Y/N!"
Shoto calls again, it sounded worried but I couldn't help but feel like I was back at square one. I was back in the Todoroki household making breakfast for him, but he didn't like it so he yelled at me. It felt so real. I could feel him hitting me before leaving. I could feel his deadly eyes piercing into my soul, staring right through me.

I flip and stare up into the blue sky as a numbing sensation flushed over me, my body going limp.
"M-Miss?!"
The little girls voice was distant but her face was in front of mine... what the heck?

I felt my body dropping slowly, like I was slipping into a hole. But it was warm, Inviting, so I accepted the sudden embrace. My eyes grew heavier as the blue sky faded with each blink, soon darkness swarmed me and I fell into that hole. My breathing finally slowing to a stop.

Am I dead?

Did I die?

No... I just fainted.

"Y/N!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT."

"Y/N! Wake up!"

"Fuck. Hold that damn villain back!"

"Shit. Y/n? Can you hear me?"

"I need help! Someone help me!"

I got my hero license. Todoroki didn't pass for some reason. He should've came first.... anyway.
It had been maybe a couple days. The teachers had let us all off to recover from the exams. Especially me. They tried to make it seem like everyone needed the break, but it's just me. My classmates were ready to get back up and into business. But I just-... I cant.
After what happened in the Exams I was too afraid to move, talk, eat... anything. Everything felt like a threat to myself and others. I was slowly getting worse each day and everybody could see it.

They truely underestimated how broken that villain attack had left me.

I just sit back in my mind all day now, sitting in silence, staring off into the distance. Listening to my surroundings, The happy chatter of my classmates, the secrets being shared between them. Everything. They tried to include me but anyone within 2 meters from me set something off inside me. I was like a ticking time bomb. Just waiting to shatter at the end of my time.
But when is that time?
I hope it comes soon.

Little did I know, a certain mismatched haired boy stood around the corner, contemplating whether or not to approach the me. He stood there for hours just listening to my calm breathing, his mind racing as memories of us two together came rushing back. He tried to find good memories, but all he saw was me crying. Your perfect soft face stained with tears that he caused, bruises littered your skin as well. Those were from him too.
He wanted to apologise. For everything.
Maybe you wouldn't accept it after what you've been though, he didn't deserve your forgiveness anyway. He was useless, a good for nothing abuser... just like his father.

Todorokis POV

I grit my teeth as I slide down the way, wrapping my arms around my legs. I sit there just listening. Your breathing was normal, calm, and for some odd reason just the thought of you being like that slowed my raging mind. You really are a miracle.
Just the thought of tucking your soft hair behind your ear, while giving you a gentle forehead kisses made my heart race. Helping you heal makes me happy. The thought of your smile, a genuine smile directed at me, makes me flustered. I'd kiss away each and every pain you held close to your heart, only to fill you with something more warm. Your giggle, does something so crazy to me.
You really drive me mad.

But he can't do that.
All he'd managed to do in the past was abuse. He wanted to be anything but his father but look where that got him, he was sitting against a wall comparing himself to the devil. He wanted to apologise so badly, but you weren't in the good enough mind set. If he apologised now, it would probably only make things worse. 

But when can I-

Y/n's POV

Just suck it up, deal with it. And face them.

I stand up shakily and slowly shuffle out the room, I go to turn the corner but a rather pained looking Todoroki greeted me. He was curled up against the wall, his eyes boring into the wall opposite him.

I step back slowly and breathe deeply, trying to contain my nerves.
At the sound of me he bounced up startled, a nervous blush taking over his face.

I've never seen him like this before.. It almost brought a smile to my face.

"Y-Y/n..."
He chokes out rubbing his nape, my eyes widen slightly at the sound. My name rolled so perfectly out his mouth, he didn't say it aggressively or anything so It sounded... nice.

"I have to t-tell you something."
He mutters, staring intently at the ground.

I gulp before humming quietly, pulling tightly at my sleeves. My own gaze being directed to the ground.

"I-...."
An awkward silence followed as Todoroki struggles to mutter the swords from his mouth.

"I'm sorry."
I immediately look at him only to find his gaze on me, shock taking over my features.

"I-i'm sorry for everything. I've done so much wrong, to you over and over again. I tore you down only to build you back up and destroy that hope, I abused my role as a husband. Husbands are meant to care for their spouse. But what did I do? I threw that out the window and hurt you. I marked your skin with bruises daily, I made you cry. I made you want to scream. I drove you to the point of leaving. I'm so fucking sorry."

"My actions can never be forgiven, For I scarred you permanently. A temporary apology could never make up for the hurt I caused."

Both our eyes grew misty as we stood in a silence, an indescribable feeling takes over my usually empty heart.

I slowly step towards him, my hand raised.

Shoto closed his eyes and flinched slightly, as if waiting for me to hit him.

But I just gently place a hand on his cheek, my thumb brushing against his soft skin.

"An apology could never make up for what you have done to me. You mentally and physically fucked me. It hurt. It did. But-"

I paused and stared deep into his heterochromia eyes, my own spilled with tears.

Time slowed as the world around us disappeared, my lips parted slightly as he drew near.

"But-... I will give you a chance to prove to me that you're a better person-"

Before I could finish my sentence Shoto had placed his soft lips on mine, our lips moulded perfectly together like a puzzle piece finally finding its place. It was soft and sweet. And ended as quick as it came but It felt like 7 years. I stared up at him my eyes full of shock and innocence. Todoroki Shoto had taken my first kiss.

"I can! I'll prove to you that i'm not the man you used to know! I'm better now, I learned. I always loved you, I knew it deep down in my heart but I refused to acknowledge it. But doing so, only hurt me and you in the process. I'll give you anything you want. Time. Money. Hugs. Kisses.. Anything! I'll do anything for you Y/n Todoroki. I'm your husband for a reason. And i'm going to prove to you that i'm worthy of your second chance-"

In a spur of the moment decision I stood on my tippy toes and placed a soft kiss on Shotos lips. He quickly responded by kissing back while smiling.

"Fuck I love you so much."
He pulled away briefly before kissing me back but harder this time, he walked me back against a wall as things got more heated.

What am I doing?

What am I doing?!

I start mentally freaking out, but his lips were so intoxicating. It was like taking drugs for the first time, and I was high on him. He kissed me hard before his tongue grazed against my bottom lip. Being new to everything I had no clue what I was doing, but Shoto seemed to enjoy it. His hands were now on my sides, as soft groans escaped his mouth. Shoto squeezed my hips, making me gasp. This gave him an opportunity to dip his tongue in my mouth. We both fought for dominance but I obviously lost, Shoto knew what he was doing. He was skilled at this.

He knew what he was doing...

I pull away gasping for air and push at his shoulders, Shoto stumbles back a few steps looking confused.

"W-whats wrong-"

"What's wrong?"
My voice breaks as I stare up at him in disbelief, my lips were tingling pleasantly but I ignored it.
Is he serious?

"Y/n? Why all of a su-"

Tears full my eyes as I stare up at him, shame washing over me.

"How are you so g-good at this?... I thought you were "innocent"."

Shoto freezes his mouth open slightly as if going to speak, but I cut him off.

"I bet you know a lot don't you. You went and messed around with her a lot didn't you? Maybe more than once-"

Shoto steps froward his clenched tightly at his side.

"Y/n! Listen! It meant nothing.. It didn't mean anything. We- I was angry at myself and had no way to
r-release the tension.. You need to calm down-"

"calm down."
My voice raised an octave higher as I pointed at myself, anger taking over the previous shame I felt.

"C-calm down?!"
Angry tears streaked my cheeks, as he avoided my piercing gaze.

"i just gave myself to a man whore!"
Shoto looks at me in bewilderment, his eyes blown wide.

"No no no no.. Y/n.. Listen. Everything that happened between me and.."
He let out an awkward cough, before stare back into my eyes.

"her was nothing. But that kiss- It felt good. It feels natural with you. I actually liked it. I love you and only you- plus it was only a kiss-"

"Only a kiss?! ONLY! I saved myself for you. I had boys flocking after me for years. But I still stayed faithful to you. I have a whole selection of guys in our class that would treat me better than you ever had! I could've left you in the dust but I sat still and pretty. While you went out a got your dick wet."

My heart was pounding in my ears as a strong urge came over me, I unconsciously acted upon it as my hand came flying out smashing against his cheek. A deafening slap rung out, His head reels back. Shotos eyes went blank as I pull away. sucking up my nerves I step down the hall, a broken air floating around me.

I left him in the hall and quickly walked towards the living space of the dorms, tears streaming down my cheeks. My lips were red and swollen from his kiss, the pleasant feeling was still there but I didn't bother acknowledging it. I step into the elevator and press a couple buttons, I let out an ugly sob as I collapse against the back wall. The doors closing me in.

I clutch the fabric over my heart tightly, My heart was breaking all over again. The pain was so familiar but It still hurt. It hurt so bad.

The doors slowly open with a ding, the whole class was scattered around. Some chatting on the tables some, almost everyone was chilling on the couches. Just talking away the day.

Some surprised gasp rung out at the sight of me, but all I saw was him.

I stumble towards him, sobs racking through my body.

Bakugou stands up startled before speed walking towards me, his red eyes showing clear concern.

I collapse into him as I cried loudly, my body weakening every second.

"Y/n-"

"Y/N!... Please let me apologise-"

Shoto comes stumbling out the elevator his cheek red and swollen, I hide myself deeper into Bakugous chest as he wraps around me.

"What the fuck did you do Icy Hot?"

Shoto goes to reach for me but Kirishima steps infront of us, his hands out blocking the way.
"Im sorry Bro. I cant let you any closer."

"N-No! You don't understand! Y/n Listen to me. I will explain everything. Please just come here."

Everyone was shocked into a weird silence my own sobbing filled the emptiness.

"Shoto?"
Her voice cut through the deadness, her steps traveled into Todorokis general direction. She must be "comforting" him.

I clutch Bakugou tighter as my heart pang, It stung so bad. And The pain.. This emotional pain hurt more than the scars my father left.

"Shoto- Why is your cheek red?"
I couldn't help but peek out from my hug, only to see Shoto staring into Yaoyorozus eyes. She was brushing her fingers against his bruising cheek, worry written all over her face.

The world around me turned black as spot lights shone down on the two, they looked perfect together. They looked like the belonged in each others arms. But I didn't want that. So why did I slap him? Why did I reject his soft kiss? Why? Why all these questions?

My heart slowed to a stop as he smiled gently at her, my body going cold as I zoned back into reality. Now I had gone silent.

I was just a staring at him. While he looked away.

What the fuck is wrong with me?!

But when his eyes connected with mine he pushed her away, a more desperate look on his face.

"Y-y/n?... Please-"

"Don't listen to him Y/n. He's caused too much pain already. He doesn't deserve your time."
Bakugou says pulling me closer to his chest, warming my cold body up.

"Y/n.. please?! I love you-"

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks as my cold voice rung out.
"Don't lie."

Shoto pushes Kiri aside and pulls me out of Bakugous grip, his eyes watching my face.

"I'm not lying. I promi-"

"I can see it in the way you look at her. You love her don't you?"

Yaoyorozu was coming closer to the both of us.

"N-no..."

"Me or her."

He steps back slightly, confusion on his features.

"Me. Or. Her."

He runs a hand through his messy hair, it looked so soft. I just want to run my hands through it.

No snap out of it.

"I don't-"

"If you truely loved me. There would be no other choice."

His face drops as I turn my back on him, my own heart could be heard shattering. Especially the look on my face. Pure Unfiltered Sadness.

"Y/n-"

I look up at Bakugou before smiling weakly.

"I-... I'll see you all later. I going for a walk"

And with that I had slipped out the dorms and started sprinting. Away from the damn hero school, away from Shoto. Away from my problems.

Someone please take me away.

I won't last any longer here.