Season Five, Episode Thirteen
Stairway to heaven

Max knew she had to be patient, she wanted to be the same person that walked into Jackson Prescott's room three days ago but now it was all different, mistakes were made and the things that she hoped wouldn't happen, happened.

Maybe if she fought harder to get Jackson his organs or maybe if she would've just paid a closer attention to what her colleagues where actually doing, then the past three days wouldn't have turned out the way they did but you can't change the past, no matter how hard you want too.

Max loved her job, at least normally she did. She spent hours upon hours waiting with parents or keeping kids company, she bought little arts and crafts for the kids to keep them somewhat occupied and brought in food that wasn't from the cafeteria, so it wasn't a surprise that Max came back to the hospital to make sure the Prescott's had everything that they needed.

It wasn't a surprise that Miranda was in the room either.

"Dr. Bailey, I just called U.N.O.S. Jackson officially at the top of the list for a liver and small bowel" Dr. Karev whispered.

"They can't come soon enough, his ammonia levels starting to rise" Miranda whispered back to Karev.

"I thought the shunt was supposed to but us 24 hours. Isn't that what you said, that it should give us 24 hours?" Mrs. Prescott asked the three doctors but she looked at Miranda.

"Melinda we are doing the best that we can" Miranda told her softly.

"I know, I-I know you are" Melinda replied back.

Max looked down at her pager and then to Miranda, they both were getting paged, "Uh, excuse us"

They both walked down to where the prisoner was being kept, Max thought it was strange to be paged down here and it seemed that Miranda was a little confused.

"Oh, my god" Miranda said as soon as the two walked in.

"He had a seizure, I have him on lorazepam" Meredith explained as she changed the guy's head wrap.

"Did you page Shep?" Max asked her, she looked at the bloody gauze on the bed and then back at Meredith.

"I paged you guys"

"Page Shepherd" Miranda told her.

"The patient doesn't want that" Meredith quickly replied back.

"Really, Mer? Did the patient tell you that?" Max hardly believed the situation.

"Yes. Don't page him, he's terribly unpleasant" The patient groggily replied to Max.

"Holy shit" Max said startled, she was not expecting him to talk.

"Mr. Dunn is a match, for the kid who needs the transplant. He's a match"

"Uh, right, well. You probably have a brain bleed, which is why we need to get Shepherd in here" Max blinked her eyes a couple times at Meredith, she wasn't sure with this was real.

"Max, he's gonna die anyway" Meredith looked at Max, her breathe was harsh and her words were thick.

"The boy who needs organs I presume wants to live and me? I have organs and I'm ready to die" Mr. Dunn looked at Max, she watched as his lips made a small smile.

"Dr. Grey, can we please talk to you in private" Max looked at Meredith before turning to walk out of the room.

"I don't think you understand what you're saying right now, Dr. Grey" Max said as soon as the patients door shut.

"I know it feels wrong on so many levels, I can't even count them but there is no cases in any medical book that tells you how to deal with this situation" Meredith defended herself.

"I don't need to read some book to tell me what to do, we need to do what's best for our patient and I think you need to do the same" Max shook her head at Meredith, how did she think this would be okay?

"I am"

"Oh, oh, really? You page Shepherd yet?" Miranda spoke up.

"Are you gonna page him?" Meredith asked Miranda.

"It is not our job to do yours so don't try and make us feel guilty, we are going to do our best to keep that little boy alive long enough to find him organs, I suggest you do everything you can to your patient alive. We are doctors, Dr. Grey, we do not get to choose who lives and who dies" Max rolled her eyes at Meredith and walked out of the hallway and back up to where she was actually needed.

"Okay, you two are on Jackson duty all day today. He doesn't have a liver or intestines which mean toxins are gonna build up and his brain is gonna swell. We cannot stop that from happening but we can try our hardest to slow it down" Max looked at Alex who was nodding along and then to Izzie who had her head down, "Steven, I'm gonna need a nod, something so I know that you are following along"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I am all yours"

"Dr. Bailey, how much time do we have left?" Richard asked walking up to the group with Arizona.

"16 hours at the most"

"There's a liver dialysis machine downstairs, G.I.'s using it for a clinical trial" Arizona informed the group.

"It may give Jackson a few more hours. Maybe" Max nodded her head a little, she really hoped that it would work.

"All right then, Stevens, put in the I.C.P. monitor and start tracking his intracranial pressures. Karev, go and get the machine" Miranda said giving them things to do.

"What if it's already hooked up to somebody?"

"If that person has more then 16 hours to live then unhook them, if you run to any problem just page me" Max gave Alex a nod before he walked away.

"I want off this case" Miranda whispered.

"Miranda?" Max put her hands on her shoulders to steady the woman.

"Oh, god. I want off this case. I want off of-"

"What?" Arizona questioned.

"This little boy is gonna die and I just don't want to be there to see it. I just don't want to- I can't see it. I just want off, I want off, I want off this case, I want off. Oh" Max watched at Miranda pulled away from her and turned her body to face the counter.

"Miranda, when was the last time you slept?"

"No, no, no. I'm okay" Miranda tried to convince the two.

"I think you need to get one or two hours of rest" Arizona jumped in.

"I'm-I'm good. I'm-I'm fine. Just go" Max nodded to Arizona so she knew that it was okay to leave.

"I'm not leaving you. You obviously aren't sleeping and it's also obvious that you need too, I can't offer you much but I do know some Nursery Rhymes to help you fall asleep" Max stood right next to Miranda, she propped her elbows on the counter and laid her head in her hands.

"M2, I'm fine. If I need you and your horrible nursery rhymes then I will page you" Miranda said softly, she felt Max's hand squeeze her shoulders before watching her walk away. Today was going to be tough.

Max loved walking around the hospital with Callie, they watched as the interns ran around not knowing what to do and they watched as the grandmas bought thousands of teddy bears for there new grandchild but watching Lexie Grey bounce  nervously was pretty funny.

"Little Grey, is everything okay?" Max asked her.c trying to keep herself from laughing.

"Oh! Dr. Torres, thank god you're here" Lexie said as soon as she saw Callie.

"I'm headed down to the pit, I just got a 9-1-1 page. Page ortho if you need anything" Callie told the intern.

"No, it was me. I paged you 9-1-1 for Dr. Dumont. He's the emergency himself, it's on his person" Lexie stepped in front of the two doctors so that they would stop walking.

"Wait, Graham's hurt?" Callie asked, beginning to become a little more aware.

"Yes. No. Yes. He's badly injured in a bad way that is bad for anyone who's a man, but for Dr. Dumont in particular. Um, he may- he may have broken a-a bone" Lexie try's her hardest to explain the situation but even she felt horribly awkward.

"A bone?" Max questioned.

"He broke a bone. I-I broke his bone" Lexie whispered the last part quietly.

"You're kidding, right?" Callie asked beginning to laugh.

Max bumped Callie with her elbow when she noticed how serious Lexie was being, "I don't think she's kidding, Cal"

The three of them walked to the on call room that Graham was in, on the way there Max was mentally preparing herself not to laugh at the situation that Graham for himself in.

"Oh my god, Hammy" Max said as soon as she walked into the room, she held her hand up to her mouth to keep herself from laughing. 

"Haha, Maxipad. Go ahead and laugh" Graham rolled his eyes.

"No, No. I'm sorry, it's not funny. I'm sorry" Max looked at Callie and then at Lexie, she felt bad for Graham, honestly.

"What's going on, Karev?" Max walked into Jackson Prescott's room, she put the pink stethoscope around her neck so that her hands were free.

"His I.C.P. is not going under 25" Karev informed her.

"Is the catheter occluded?" She asked Alex as she walked closer to the boy.

"It's fine"

"All right, try adjusting the height of the drip chamber and let's raise his bed up another 10 degrees" Max offered, she knew that it wouldn't be a solution.

"What'll that do?" Miranda asked from behind Max.

"Not much" Max told her honestly.

"Jackson, Jackson. You listen to mommy, it is not time. You do not get to go yet, you have to stay here with me. You hear me? You stay with mommy, it is not time, baby. I love you and I need you to fight, I need you to fight Jackson" Melinda moved Miranda out of the way so that she was closer to her son, she grabbed his hand and began pleading for him to continue fighting.

Max looked up at Miranda and noticed that she was about to walk out of the room, "Dr. Bailey" She called out but Miranda had some place that she needed to be.

"Dr. Robbins, stay and keep checking his monitor, if it's under 25, page me" Max moved out of the way so that Arizona could stand closer. Once Arizona was situated she walked out of the room to try and stop Miranda from doing something completely immoral.

"Dr. Bailey, do not go in there" Max called out to her, she watched as her friend waited by the door.

"I have to do this in order to save my patient" Miranda have Max a look before walking into the O.R.

"Dr. Bailey!" Max called out again but this time she followed her into the room.

"Dr. Bailey" Derek said when he noticed her.

"I need you to stop, I need you to put down the scalpel. This man is trying to kill himself and god forgive me, I need you to let him" Miranda looked at Derek and Max looked at Miranda, this was not supposed to happen.

"Miranda, we need to leave now" Max told her, grabbing her arm but Miranda moved so that Max couldn't touch her.

"Yes, listen to Dr. Mallard. You need to leave my O.R. Dr. Bailey" Derek stared at Miranda.

"Five days... in five day's, this man is going to die and his organs are going to go with him, they'll be buried with his body, and they'll rot in the ground -'d that is a crime, it's a crime against life. It's only five day's, that's it. That's all we're taking from him and he doesn't want them anyway" Miranda began to plead with Derek, she needed him to let this man die.

"We took an oath, Miranda" Derek told her simply.

"I know... that. I know we took an oath but right now that oath make another sense. It makes no sense, it doesn't. So just stop, just stop. Don't do anything else for this man"

"If I stop this surgery it's the same as me sticking this scalpel into his brain, is that what you want?" Derek asks her, his voice was calm.

"No, that's not what she wants" Max spoke before Miranda could.

"-Yes. That's what I want"

The group of doctors and nurses stood still, not doing anything until Derek does but he wasn't going to do anything until Miranda said so.

"He's hemorrhaging through his craniectomy, should I at least put in a subdural drain?" Christina looks up to Derek in question.

"That's up to Dr. Bailey" Derek told her.

"Dr. Bailey?" Christina asked confused, "Dr. Bailey should I put in a drain?"

"No"

"Miranda, there's going to be a lot of bleeding. He needs to do something" Max looked at Miranda, she couldn't let her do this but Max knew even if Miranda aloud it, then she wasn't going to do it alone.

"It's your call, Dr. Bailey. It's up to you, am I an executioner or am I a surgeon. It's up to you, it's your call" Derek puts down the scalpel and turn his attention back to Miranda.

Max watched Miranda stand there staring back at Derek, she didn't move nor did she speak, "Miranda, do the right thing"

"Pick up the scalpel" Miranda finally says.

The two walked out of the room, Miranda stopped to catch her breathe but Max kept going, she needed to be with Jackson.

"I.C.P. is still going up" She heard Karevs voice as she walked closer to the room.

"Are you hyperventilating him enough?" Max asked him as she walked closer to Jackson.

"Yes, his PC02 is 30"

"All right, let's raise him all the way up" Arizona said to him.

"Jackson, you have to hold on okay, baby?" Melinda begs.

"Melinda, step back now, you're in the way. You need to step back"

"Hold on for mommy, okay? Please Jackson" Melinda said making no efforts to move.

Max looked at Izzie and nodded at her to get Mrs. Prescott out of the way.

"Mrs. Prescott" Izzie said, putting her hand gently on her arm to guide her away from Jackson.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no"

"You have to let them work on him" Izzie tells her.

"No, I can't leave my son" Melinda begs.

"We'll be right outside" Izzie tells her as she continues to pull her out of the room.

"Please let me stay"

"Karev, go get Mrs. Prescott" Max tells him with a shaky sigh.

They watch him go but return a moment later with Melinda at his side.

"It's time to hold him. He's going, Melinda. Hold him and help him go" Miranda tells her sadly, Max puts her hand on her friends shoulder for comfort as they move out of the way.

She watched as Melinda picks her son up slightly, "It's okay, baby. You can go, it's okay, you can go" She watches as she kisses her son on his head, "It's okay, mommy won't be mad. You can go, Jackson. It's okay"

"We have organs" Richard rushes into the room, "We have organs! Get him to O.R. three now"

Max was the first to move and then Miranda, the beeping came next, "Start C. P. R. Miranda!"

"Push .35 of EPI"

"Get me a bicarb"

Max had never been so happy to see a body lay on an O.R. table but watching Arizona, Miranda and Alex work there butts off to save this kid, it helps her realize why she does this job at all. She needed this job and this job needed her.

"Finishing the vena cava"

"Releasing the clamps. Okay, any black spots?" Miranda looks up at Max and asks.

"All clean, Dr. Bailey"

The four looks at each other with grateful eyes, but it all stopped when Jackson's monitor starting beeping.

"He's coding, start C.P.R. get the crash cart in here" Arizona instructs. Max watched as the nurse gives Arizona more rags so that she could try and save the boys life.

Max was happy for this night to end, she was happy that Jackson gets to live out his life and she was happy to be going home to a healthy family. She watched as her brother opened up the passenger side door for Christina, she smiled at the two before noticing the new trauma doctor watching them as well.

"What's his problem?" Max turned to Mark and asked.

"I'm not sure, I heard the poor guy asked Christina out. Wish I would've seen his face when she turned him down" Mark began to laugh, he pulled her closer to his side and they walked to the car.

"I kind of feel bad, I mean I'm glad Christina turned him down but it's so painfully obvious that my brother and her are completely obsessed with her" Max told Mark, she stopped to give him a kiss as a thank you for opening the door for her, "Anyway, the dude practically gave her all the credit when they won the Harper Avery Award"

"Then maybe you should hook Owen up" Mark offered.

"No, I don't trust the guy" Max shook her head at the thought.

"You're so weird" Mark laughed slightly.

"Did you hear that Lex broke Graham's Penis?" Max turned her head to look at Mark, she wanted to see his reaction.

"Oh, I heard. I felt so bad that I brought him one of those congratulation baskets that you buy at the gift shop but when I walked in there to make fun of him, him and Lexie were asleep on the bed" Mark shuddered at the thought of his penis being snapped in half.

"I love them together" Max sighed softly.

"Babe, you take pictures of them every time they do something cute and they don't even know that you do"

"I'm making a photo book! It's gonna be super cute, I've been making one for Maevie too, like random pictures of you two together, a couple of ones I found of me and her and some picture of me and you when we were younger, I even asked my Mom if she had any pictures with Maeve" Max explained her side, she wasn't trying to be creepy, it was more like an endearment thing, Leo and Christina got one also so it was just her thing now.

"I think it's nice of you to do that, time flys by so fast that sometimes you forget about those small moments" Mark tells her honestly, "And knowing that your Dad isn't in the best of shape, it's nice for her to have something she can remember him by. All she has to do is look at the pictures"

Max stared at him with glossy eyes, she hated to think about her Dad that way but every time she went to see him it was so obvious that he didn't have much time left. Maybe that's why she was doing this for Maeve, she was too young to remember her grandpa before the disease and now it was all she's ever known. There's a lot of things that Max wished she could change but thinking about the 'what if's' wasn't going to magically change anything, all she had to do was live in the present with the people who love her.

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Not edited(:

Talking about Max's Dad is so freaking sad):

My own grandpa has dementia and I'm glad that I am old enough to know the man he was before this disease took him, but my younger siblings who never got the chance to meet the real him are the ones who see everything differently. If you don't know, sometimes dementia can make a person very mean and they may say things that will hurt your feelings, or they will do things that may hurt you. In my case, my Papa would pinch my little siblings and that resulted in them never wanting to see him so it sucks knowing that they think of him as mean and rude when I always knew him as my best friend.

Soon by Snow Patrol