Some kind of miracle
Season three episode seventeen

Mark didn't know what to do, he and Derek were sitting alone in the hallway while the others went down to the cafeteria for some food.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this" Mark said through the silence.

"Like what?" Derek turned his head and asked.

"This whole thing" He waved his hands around, "Us waiting in the hall, Miranda and the chief fighting to save someone they love, Max in there holding onto every strength that she has. I wanted to tell her how I felt, how horrible I was after I told her that I wasn't going with her and how I never loved Addison, I mean how could I when Max was still taking over my every thought"

Derek watched as his best friend cried, in all honesty he wasn't sure what to do, Mark was always the 'take life as a joke' type of dude and seeing Mark break down in the hallway was so foreign to him.

"She might not know how you feel now but she felt it when we were all still in New York. She would come to me and rant about how much she wanted to spend her life with you and how you made her feel, there was never a moment that she doubted her for you and you're love for her but you need to tell her how you feel as soon as you can because you never know when you'll get another chance" Derek gave a small pat on his back, his eyes hurt from wiping away his tears and his nose was running from how much crying he was doing.

"I wish I had told her how stupid I am as soon as I got here but I was so caught up in trying to make myself believe that I was over her and that I loved Addison that I didn't see that I never stopped loving Max. When I saw her with Levi, I couldn't tell you how much hate I felt toward myself knowing that, that could have been me, this whole time it could have been me and it's so shitty that it took me almost five years to understand that, I think about it now and I wonder where we could have been, would we be married, how many children would we have, were we happy? I have never regretted anything in my life except for the day I let her walk away" And it was true, Mark often wondered about the life they would have had if he wasn't a shithead and he knew that it would've been great.

"Think about the moment you tell her just that, don't think about the possibility of her dying, think about the love you have for her and the rest of your life together because that is what will keep you going"

"Chief, I know the hypothermia is protective to her vital organs, how much longer do you think we can go on like this?" Miranda looks at the Chief with a worried expression, she watched as her still continued the chest compressions.

"I've seen people last as long as four hours" He snaps.

"Yeah, but you-"

"No, this is not- this is my brother's daughter, this is my niece, this is still the same little girl that asked me to teach her how to ride a bike, the same one that came to me when she wasn't sure if going into the medical field was for her. I have spent her whole life looking out for her and I'll be damned if I stop now" Richard ranted, he was shocked and confused and the last thing he would ever want to do is watch his niece die.

"We're all on the same-" Dr. Peck tried to calm him down.

"This is my-"

"I know who she is, stop acting like you're the only one who will hurt if she dies. She is the god-mother of my son, she is my best friend, she has a daughter and a very very complicated relationship with Mark Sloan but if she dies, this whole hospital will hurt" Miranda snaps at the chief, she was trying her hardest not to.

"We're all on the same side here" Dr. Peck interjects the two.

"Her body temp is at 86 degrees, she is not dead until she is warm and dead. We need to warm her up to 98.6 and start her heart"

"Yes, sir" Miranda agrees.

"Let's do a gastric lavage with warm fluids" Richard tells one of the nurses.

Addison stood at the back of the room, she didn't know what to do, her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she felt guilty, guilty for making Max feel like she couldn't trust her but most of all she was guilty for not telling Max the truth.

She tore her eyes away when her pager went off, "Addison" She heard Miranda call her name.

"I have to go. I- It's my Jane Doe"

"Just- they're waiting... for you so whatever you choose to say will..." Miranda stuttered, she wasn't sure what to say.

Addison nodded her head before taking a deep breathe to calm her nerves then opening the door.

Christina and Leo were walking back to the same hallway after getting some food, and unluckily for them the cafeteria was on the other side of the hospital so they had to go through the main hallway which was always crowded.

"Leo" He turned around after hearing his name being called, his eyes stopping on a man that he hasn't seen in years.

"What are you doing here" Leo questioned but it came out more like a statement.

"I got here as quick as I could" The man sighed, rubbing his hands together nervously.

"Okay, but why are you here" Leo would be lying is he said he wasn't surprised.

"Mom called me-"

"Mom called you? I didn't even know that Mom knew where you were or how to even contact you. I mean it's not like you gave us any room to even look for you" Leo interrupted.

"What was I supposed to do Leo? My sister had just died-"

"She was my sister too or did you actually think that you were the only one grieving? It's been years since any of us have seen you and now you just show up? Where were you when Dad got his diagnosis? Where were you when he forget that you left and kept asking for you? You may be the big brother but you definitely stopped acting like one" Leo felt the stares, it was only when Christina grabbed his arm when he realized.

"We shouldn't be doing this here, our sister is fighting for her life and we shouldn't be here fighting like teenagers" The two men stared at each other for a moment before Leo sighed.

"I don't give a shit if you stay here but I don't want you near me, and I'm sure Derek and Mark feel the same way. I don't know why you came back Beaumont, but I don't want any part of it" Leo grabbed Christina's hand and began to walk back to the room that Max was in.

Max took a deep breath before sitting up, watching as her sister stared at her. She was freaking out.

"Max?"

"She's totally freaking out" Gwen popped in which didn't really surprise Max. Gwen and Max were best friends growing up and even through college but one night a drunk driver had hit Gwen straight on which made her die on impact.

"She's not freaking out" Edie snipped back at the blonde.

"People tend to freak out" Gwen replied back with her usually duh tone that Max had missed.

"Trust me, she's fine"

"Oh okay, missy. I've been dead longer so that automatically means I know how to be dead more then you" Gwen snapped back.

"You know what? This is exactly why I don't like hanging out with you, this is not some competition, we are both dead and you need to learn how to read the mood" Edie rolled her eyes.

"Well I'm not the one who took a little too many pills and died" Gwen taunted.

"Oh, you want to do this now or do you want to do this later?" Edie said, turning her body to face Gwen.

"I want do this now"

"You wanna do this now?"

"I will kick your ass anytime"

"Can you fight when you're dead? I mean you're already dead so what's the point?" Max interrupted the two girls.

"Yes" they both said.

"This is the brain thing, this is the ketamine neurotransmitter thing, right?" Max asked the two.

"No" they both said together.

"Cause you'd think if this were my brain were doing this it wouldn't have my sister and my best friend fighting, right? I mean I had to listen to it when you guys were alive but now? Do I really have to listen to it now?" Max once again, sighed, laying her head back down the on the bed.

Gwen looked at Edie and gave her a nod, silently telling her to do something.

"Max" Edie called out cautiously, "This is not your brain on drugs. This is death, you are really freaking dead, like no-more-you dead"

"Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Way to harsh man" Gwen intervened, "Remember we got to take it easy, that was not easy"

Edie rolled her eyes and then pointed at Max to tell Gwen that she could do it.

"Max... you drowned... in Elliot bay, you remember that?" Gwen asked her, she wasn't sure where or how to start.

"Yeah, I remember that. Not my favorite moment in life" Max replies before rolling onto her side with her eyes closed.

"This is definitely going to take awhile" Edie commented.

"We don't have awhile, she's running out of time"

Addison walked out of the room to Derek and Marks questions.

"Tell me" Mark rushed out.

"Her temps still only 86. There's still not heartbeat, we're hoping once she wakes up-"

"I want to go in there" Derek interrupted.

"No"

"There's a risk of brain damage, I need to go in there. I'm going in there"

"I need to go in there, I'm going in" Derek pleaded.

"Derek, you can't, not for Max, not for anybody. You're in no shape" Addison gave on final sympathetic look to both Derek and Mark before walking toward the doors and opening them.

Then she came face to face with Leo and Christina.

Addison gave a long sigh before smiling sadly at Leo, "It's not good"

"Is she still cyanotic? What was her initial temp? I mean, what is taking so long?" Leo spitfires.

"Leo...It's not good, I've been in that room trying to find ways to bring her back and to comfort her but it's not good, and it's scary but they're doing everything that they can, I- you should maybe, um, prepare yourselves" Addison had just finished her sentences when Leo started laughing.

"I'm sorry, it's not funny, really but you coming out of that room pretending that you give a damn about what happens to her, that's- that's what I find funny. I mean, come on you come out here saying shit like 'prepare yourself' as if you have any remorse for what happens to her, you gave up that right to be her honorary sister when you decided that sleeping with Mark was way better then a friendship with Max so no, you don't get to stand here and tell me to prepare for her death as if what you say will make any difference for how I will feel"

Christina grabbed her boyfriends arm silently telling him to cool off, she looked at a stunned Addison for a moment before looking back at him.

"Leo-" Christina began.

"No, no it's okay. I-I get it and he's right but right now I have a patient to get too" Addison left with a nod leaving the two staring as she left.

"Max. Max" An old lady repeated, "You are one stubborn little girl"

Max looked up at her old college professor, "Dr. white?"

"Well who else would I be?" Dr. White looked around the room at the others giving them a look.

"Wow, this is crazy!" Max let out a small laugh, "What are you all doing here? Is this-"

"It's not heaven" Gwen told her.

"We're here because you called us here" Edie spoke up from the corner.

"I definitely would know if I summoned dead people" Max shook her head slightly, dead people were crazy.

The three of them groaned, "Tell us about the water, Max"

Max stared at Gwen for a little before getting up off of the bed, "Leave me alone"

They watched as she walked out of the room each one of them following after her.

"Max, I need you to understand. This is important, you can't screw around" Edie said from behind.

"I think I'm hungry" Max said dismissing everything that her sister said.

"There is no time for that, you don't have that time and we don't have the time" Edie said to her sister, you could even hear the beg in her voice.

"I drowned. That's all, I drowned" Max turned around and yelled.

"Darling please listen to us, you have to listen to us" Dr. White stepped in.

"Oh, no" Gwen said from the back of the group making Max walked closer to her, gasping when she saw blood pooling out of Gwen's head and arms.

"What's happening! Why is that happening!" Max repeated those questions but each time there was no response. She was running out of time.

Max had moved Gwen onto the surgery table, she was examining her head which was still gushing out blood but she could find the source of the bleed.

"Where is it? Why can't I find it, it's there but there's no cut or hole. Oh my god, make it stop! How do I make it stop?" Max looked at her friend's head a million times and she still couldn't figure it out. She grabbed her arm to feel for any cuts but all she got was blood everywhere, "I need gloves and surgical towels and maybe if I do some stitching it'll stop, you think?" She hysterically looked at her baby sister for help.

"Max, stop. Gwen gets like this sometimes and all you have to do is ride it out, it'll stop soon" Edie softly pulled her sister away from Gwen.

"But I can save her! I can start an I.V!" Max continued.

"There's no point" Dr. White told her.

She pulled away from her sisters grasp and looked at her, "Go to the o.r. and get me sterilized surgical instruments! Go go go!"

Edie looked at Dr. White before walking out of the room to get the stuff that Max needed. The doctor finally sighed as she watched her sister walk away only for her to disappear along with everyone but Dr. White.

"Are you ready to talk about this now? Or are you willing to lose more time?"

There was something to be said about silence, it spoke louder then anyone could ever do and right now the silence was torture.

"You begin to think about moments, how our actions lead to something bigger. Maybe if I didn't do this then this would've happened, you know?" Callie had broken the silence as she spoke to Graham. "If I never accepted this job would Max still be here, like this? If you never moved here, would it all lead to this moment? Or if Mark would have followed Max here and they spent their days happy with Maeve, do you think that this day would have turned out differently? I get mad because what if it was our actions and how we decide to live our life is the reason that Max is on the brink of death, one decision changes the course of our whole life and we just have to sit back and let it happen, it's like we have no control of how it plays out. I have put my complete faith in God and I don't have anything to show for it"

The two sat in silence once more, both praying for a strong outcome.

"So all of you just disappear when ever you want too?" Max yelled out, she had been chasing them around the hospital, each one of them popping in just to ask her what happened.

"What happened?" Gwen pops in.

"I drowned. That is it" Max screamed out.

"Really? Then why are we here?" Edie yelled back.

"Yes really! And why don't you ask yourself why you're here" Max turned to look at her sister.

"What? What are you talking about, of course I have" Edie replied back.

"So now you have the answers to why you shoved drugs into your body?" Max was being mean, she knew it but if Edie was going to question her then it shouldn't be a problem to ask.

"You think I haven't spent my afterlife hating myself for what I did? I chose to go to that party with Amelia and I chose to take those pills but I didn't choose to die, I didn't choose to leave my family-"

"And what? You didn't think your decision had consequences? You didn't have that little voice in the back of your head telling you that you could die? You may have been the one to die but we all suffered, I had to watch Mom and Dad put together your funeral, I had to watch Monty's back walk out on this family and I had to pick up the pieces that you made when you died, so do not tell me that you have any remorse for what you did because if you did you wouldn't have done them. I have made a spectacular life for myself, I've fallen in love, got my M.D from Columbia, spent most of my life with the man I love, had my heartbroken and now I am raising my beautiful, smart, strong daughter and where were you when I wanted to pick up the phone and tell you all about it but all I got was dial tones because they canceled your phone because you weren't around to use it anymore. So you may have spent your time here coming to terms with your doings but you're not the one that has to live everyday knowing that Mom and Dad won't get to see their baby girl anymore" Maybe it was cathartic to be screaming at her dead sister but she wished that she didn't have to.

"Why are you here? I've watched you guys live out your lives and make the most out of everything but here you are happy and perky to be dead" Edie had changed the subject, today wasn't about her it was about making sure her sister knew how important it was to stay alive.

"You think I want to be here? I swam and I fought hard, I kept imagining my sweet little girl to try and keep me going but the water was cold and it got harder!" Max took a seat on the steps with a sigh.

"Of course it got harder but that doesn't mean that you stop! Why did you stop?"

"God dammit"

Mark had somehow taking a shower and got dressed in normal clothes but that didn't mean that he was giving up. He came back to the hospital as soon as he put on his shoes and sat down in the waiting room.

"Who are you here for?" Some man in the waiting room asked.

"What?" Mark asked him.

"I'm waiting on my wife, a car hit her. Can you believe that, on the ferry? She was run over on the ferry, they haven't said much, hard as hell to get these people to talk to you" He explained to Mark.

"Yeah, I'm, uh...same, my wife was there too and I don't know- I don't know what's gonna happen" Mark spoke softly to the man next to him, mostly because his thirst hurt from all the crying.

"It's out of our hands, it's up to the doctors now" The man tried to be encouraging.

"Yeah"

"What's her name?" He asked.

"Maxine, Max" Mark replied to him with a smile.

"I'll put her in my prayers"

"Thanks" Mark nodded his head.

Max watched Gwen fall to the floor again with the same symptoms as the last time but as if Max didn't learn her lesson the last time she began to look to the  wound.

"I need to get in there and find the source of this bleeding" Max turned hysterically to look at her professor.

"Honestly Max, it's just gonna happen again" Dr. White told her.

"Where is something to wipe up this blood?" Max looked back to the ground only to find Gwen gone and a pair of shoes replacing her.

"Fool me once..." Edie said looking down at Max.

"Oh, good, yeah. Be a smart ass" Gwen said popping up behind Max, "We have a job to"

"You know its a waste of time, she's either going to get it or she's not" Edie walked closer to Gwen.

"Get what?" Max asked.

"The way I see it, it doesn't matter how you got here. You're either in this thing or you're not, there is no in between" Edie spoke to Max harshly.

"What about another EPI?" Richard asked Miranda as he continued to do chest compressions.

"We've been pushing EPI for an hour and a half now" Miranda told the man.

"Check another lead" Richard tells her.

Miranda reaches over to the monitor to see where Max was at but it was still the same, "Asystole in three leads, sir"

"What about her temp?"

"Down to 86 degrees" Miranda replied.

"86? It's 86 now? It was 89" Richard started to freak.

"Afterdrop phenomenon"

Richard sighed with anger, turning around he slammed his hand on the door wishing there was something he could do.

Max opened the door to the O.R. and headed straight to where the medicine was.

"What are you looking for?" Gwen asked her from the gallery.

"Something strong, the next time you start to bleed out, I'm gonna dope you to high heaven and-" Max looked in another spot when she didn't find the drugs.

"Why are we still talking about me?" Gwen asked her.

"If i can find the source-"

"I can't be saved!" Gwen shouted at Max.

"This isn't fair! I couldn't save you then but I can now, now that I have an M.D and I know how to do it, I can save you" Max turned around with a huff.

"What happened in that water?" Gwen said from beside her.

"I swam. I fought and I wasn't strong enough" Max told her again.

"You are strong enough and you can't stay here Max" Gwen said simply.

"I don't want to!" Max yelled at her.

"I know it seems easier to stay here but you can't because Maeve is down there, Leo is down there, your parents, Mark, Beaumont, Miranda, Richard, Addison, Graham, Christina, Derek and Callie! They are all down there and this will break them and none of them deserves a life without you and this, this is the big one so you need to pay attention. Do you know what kind of miracle it is to find a group of friends like that and I know you had me but I'm not there with you anymore, this group of amazing people are with you, walking life with you? Maeve is down there wondering where you've been and Mark hasn't stopped crying since he's found out, they are waiting for you and if you don't come back from this, you will change every single person down there" Gwen had been waiting for Max to understand all of this and she hoped that she would.

Max, Gwen and Edie were sitting in the hallway waiting for Max to answer the question.

"I was swimming, I was fighting and I tried to remember all of the things that made me happy and complete but then I wondered what it would be like and it was just for a second because thinking about how I would be leaving my daughter made me want to fight harder but it was like all of the sudden I got weaker, like that moment of doubt made me weak. I didn't mean to let go, I didn't want to but it just didn't seem like it would end" Max finally told the two, she started to cry as she realized what had happened.

Edie began to feel something, which was off because she was dead but she knew it was something and then she smelled it, the smell of the cologne their brother wore mixed in with the smell of home.

"What?" Max asked her.

"It's Monty" Edie sighed happily.

"Beaumont? You can see him?" Max crawled over to sit next to her sister.

"He's at the hospital with Mom and Dad" Edie said to her with a sad smile, she was jealous that she didn't have the chance to go back.

"Monty is at the hospital, like right now?" Max questioned, "Wow I bet Leo isn't happy" She laughed at that.

"I wish I could see that, but this is all you get, moments with people you love and they'll move on, not completely but they will just enough to forget how much pain they went through but still Max, that is all you get, moments" Edie held onto her sisters hand tightly.

"Is this really happening?" Max cried.

"We don't know, this is your afterlife, not ours" Gwen said before the two vanished.

Monty sat with his parents in the waiting room and it was nothing but silence, what do you say in a moment like this and for Beaumont it was dreadful sitting with his parents who he hasn't seen in years in the same hospital as just little brother and his dying sister but he knew that he made his bed but he'd be damned if he wasn't going to crawl out of it.

"I-I uh I saw Leo" Monty stuttered.

"Yeah, he's built a wonderful life for himself here. Head of Cardio and even has a beautiful girlfriend, he worked hard for this and I'm glad that he's got everything he's ever wanted" Piper smiled at the thought of that, her children being happy was such an amazing feeling.

"That's great Mom, I'm glad" Monty gave her an awkward smile.

"Too bad you weren't there to witness any of it" Piper snipped.

Monty gave a heavy sigh, "Mom can we please not do this here, after Max recovers we can all sit down and talk but right now let's just be there for Max"

"Maxine, is my little girl here? I thought we were going to pick her up at 3, it's too late for the daycare to be open. We are late and now Edith won't get to see her sister tonight" Robert sighed before putting his hand on his forehead with guilt.

"Honey, we already picked them up and they are back at the house, Aunt Sheryl is watching the kids" Piper said softly to her husband, rubbing his arm to soothe him.

Monty just stared at his parents and he thought about the things he really missed out on but he was hopeful things would change.

"I don't want to be here, I want to go back" Max stormed into the O.R.

"We were told there wasn't a lot of time" Gwen shrugged.

"I'm out of time?" Max worries.

"Well, we're not sure darling" Dr. White told her.

"Oh, my god. I can't... I want to- I need to go back! There is a man there that I want to spend the rest of my life with and a daughter to watch grow up and an older brother to punch, but I have people down there so I need to go back!" Max threw her arm in the air and stomped her foot.

"Yeah" Edie smirked at her.

"It's not enough! Okay, it's not enough to just get a whiff of them, of Derek or Miranda or my parents or just- Mark and my Maeve. I need to go back! Please" She sobbed as she sat on the chair.

"You're right, you do need to go" Edie smiled at her, she could feel it, the prayers of everyone at the hospital, she could feel them being granted.

"I do?" Max said hopeful.

"Yes, you do and you will but before you go why don't you give your best friend a hug" Gwen cried with her arms stretched out.

Max walked over to Gwen and cried even harder, knowing that this was going to be the last time that they would see each other, "I'm going to miss you Sunshine"

Max let go of Gwen and moved to her college professor, "Dr. White, thank you for showing me the wonderful life of medicine and for kicking my ass when I needed it. I owe you so much" She said as she pulled the older lady into a hug.

She then moved onto her sister, her baby sister, "I have spent most of my life praying for you to get better and hoping that you were somewhere amazing with amazing people and I am glad that you are, my beautiful baby sister, you will always be apart of me and I thank you for not only being my sister but also a friend while we were growing up and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you proud"

"You've already made me proud, you don't have to try and thank you for always being on my side, my advocate, I just wish that I had shown you the side me that would've made you proud. I love you most of all and please make sure Mark knows what he's missing" Edith grabbed onto Max's shoulders and squeezed, she wanted a moment of warmth and comfort.

"Goodbye, Edith Maeve Mallard. Till next time" Max smiled as she watched the light come down for her.

"See you later"

The group looked up at the monitor as it starts to show signs of a heartbeat, "Sinus Brady"

"Okay" Dr. Peck said nearing Max with his stethoscope.

"We got a heartbeat" Miranda said shocked.

"We got it" Dr. Peck confirmed for them.

"Hell yeah we do! You know why? Because Maxine Penelope Mallard is the strongest person I know" Miranda excitedly calls out at the group.

The rest of the team took Max off the breathing since she could now breathe on her own as Miranda did a mini dance.

"She's breathing on her own?" Callie asked, when she came into the room, Miranda didn't know.

"She is" Miranda smiled.

"Thank god" Callie called out with a laugh, "She's been down for a long time, do we know the brain function yet?"

"We don't know" Miranda said with a tone.

"Mark, does, um" Callie began to say.

"I haven't paged him yet. I wanted to... I'm giving her more time" Miranda tells the brunette before walking out of the room with the team following suit.

Callie was left in the room with Max, she stood at the end of the bed with tears in her eyes, she was watching for any sudden movement or anything at all and then Max said something.

"Did you say something?" Callie rushed to her side, "Did you just speak?"

Max tried to say something else but no words were coming out, "Oh, honey. Okay, Max I don't understand you, okay? Try-try again. Try again for me okay?"

It was still tiny sounds and muttering, "What? I, uh I can't... Please, please don't be-"

Callie wasn't sure what to do so she grabbed the side of Max's head, "Your brain works, okay? So all you need to do is form a word, please"

"Mark"

\\

I love this chapter

I cried.

Mostly because of the show but still all the same.

Do you guys like longer chapters or short chapters? Cause sometimes when I'm reading a book and I notice it's like 40 pages long I'm like, damn but other times I'm like WOOOO

I always thought Izzie and Denny's relationship was kinda dumb but the end of this episode got to me.

______
Danny Glover as Robert Mallard
Alfre Woodard as Piper Mallrd
Morris Chestnut as Beaumont 'Monty' Mallard
Nathalie Emmanuel as Edith 'Edie' Mallard
Gillian Zinser as Gwen
______

All of the Mallard children *except* for Beaumont are adopted

Ungodly Hour by The Fray