✦

"And are you in Economics as well?" Seonghwa asked, as he had finished answering Wooyoung's question, turning to look at Yeosang.

"No." Yeosang kept staring at the floor, not to be rude - but simply to hide the fact that he was absolutely bedazzled by the guy standing in front of him.

This Park Seonghwa guy, apparently from the third year of Economics, had to be the most gorgeous person Yeosang had ever seen in his life. Yeosang shuffled his feet around, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, as he tried to look as cool as possible, while his heart was pounding in his chest.

He felt Seonghwa's eyes rest on him, while Wooyoung just kept talking, and Yeosang prayed that his warm cheeks weren't turning red enough to give him away.

Yeosang had seen many beautiful guys before, and he had never had any problems getting whoever he wanted - only to forget about them afterwards. But this felt different. There was something about Seonghwa that Yeosang couldn't explain - something that made Yeosang feel shy like never before.

When Seonghwa had left, Yeosang stole a quick peek over the shoulder, to catch a last glimpse of the dark blonde guy, and his heart skipped a beat. Park Seonghwa - he would never forget that name.

...

"Hello, I am Park Seonghwa. It's nice to meet you," Seonghwa greets politely, but his voice carries a strange hint of restraint, and he is showing no sign of the two of them knowing each other.

Or used to, at least.

The look in his eyes is cold, distant, hitting Yeosang like a bullet. Four years might have passed by, but Seonghwa doesn't look like he's aged at all - he still looks the exact same, the only difference being that his hair now is black. And the way he dresses. Sure, this is a fancy, fashion event - but Yeosang had always thought that Seonghwa looked the best in a casual outfit, and Seonghwa had also seemed to feel better that way. Back then. 

"Seonghwa, I'd like to introduce you to the most important person in my life," Lucas says proudly, his arm wrapped around Yeosang's waist.

"Nice to meet you too. I... I'm Kang Yeosang," Yeosang finally forces himself to reply, his voice cracking half-way through the sentence, and turning into a struggling whisper.

His eyes are flickering around, trying to look at anything else than Seonghwa who is standing in front of him, looking like an absolute dream in his black suit. The way he holds himself would definitely not go with a pair of blue acid washed jeans, and a loose tee. While Lucas and Seonghwa carry on with their conversation, Yeosang feels like dying. Or running away, at least.

But the situation is about to get even worse.

"Ah, this is my wife, Tzuyu," Seonghwa says, introducing the woman who is walking up to stand next to him.

Yeosang remembers her. They might never have spoken with each other, and Tzuyu most likely has no idea who Yeosang is. But he will never forget her, and how she stole Seonghwa away from him.

✦

Yeosang is sitting at the bar, sipping some champagne, while Lucas is busy talking with some of his business partners next to him. No matter how much it hurts, Yeosang just can't stop looking at Seonghwa throughout the night - only from the corner of his eye, of course.

Tzuyu is sticking to Seonghwa's side all night, making Yeosang want to throw up whenever he sees them. This entire situation honestly makes him feel sick. It's like a twisted nightmare that he can't wake up from. Instead he is forced to sit there, looking at the life he could have had.

As he empties another drink, Yeosang is beyond the point of controlling his thoughts or emotions, and the pain he had crumbled together inside, when Seonghwa greeted him, is unfolding in his mind. Seeing Seonghwa stand there, right in front of him, with his arm around the woman he left Yeosang for, hurt more than any of the stupid fights they had had four years ago. Even more than their goodbye in the park, which Yeosang has replayed a million times in his mind.

All the wondering, thinking, wishing that things could've been different, had been a waste of time. All the nights crying because he missed Seonghwa so much, and all the times he had gotten drunk and had been this close to texting him. All a waste.

Because the thing that had kept Yeosang somehow sane about their break-up, had been the cruel hope, wish even, that Seonghwa wouldn't stay married to her. But that hope is now burning up before his eyes, and it just hurts so incredibly much.

While Lucas is still busy talking, Yeosang quickly excuses himself and heads towards the bathrooms. After making sure that there's no one in any of the stalls, he lets out a loud, frustrated groan. Every single emotion inside of him are merging together, and his body might end up exploding.

With his hands resting on the sink in front of him, he leans in - trying to get at least his breathing under control. He keeps his head lowered, not even daring to look at himself while tears are rolling down his cheeks.

"This isn't happening; this isn't happening..." he mumbles to himself, biting his lower lip.

He then wipes the tears away with his sleeve, takes a deep breath and his eyes finally meet his reflection in the mirror. For a few minutes he just stares at himself, cursing himself for reacting this way. He is with Lucas now. Lucas who will do anything in the world for him, why is he so affected by meeting his ex?

The door to the bathroom suddenly opens, and to add onto this perfectly bizarre night it is none other than Park Seonghwa who walks in. Yeosang side eyes him, but none of them speak a word to each other.

Seonghwa walks up to check himself in the mirror, and Yeosang debates whether or not he should just leave right away. An insanely heavy silence builds itself up, like a thick wall between the.

Yeosang wants to speak, but doesn't know what to say. After a short while he just gives up and takes a last, quick, glance at Seonghwa who obviously couldn't care less about his presence.

"What happened to you?" Yeosang suddenly blurts out, briefly pinching his eyes closed at his own outburst. His hand is already lying on the doorknob, ready for him to leave, "this place, this kind of life. This... Isn't you."

"It's been four years, Yeosang," Seonghwa replies right away, turning around as he speaks, "you don't know me anymore."

Their eyes meet, and Yeosang has to fight to stop the tears from falling. Hearing Seonghwa speak his name this way, this cold, heartless way, just hurts so much.

"Do you know yourself, Seonghwa? You've become everything you used to hate. For what? For her?" With his heart in his throat, Yeosang awaits Seonghwa's answer, even though he doesn't really want to know. He doesn't want to hear Seonghwa say it. So he says it for him. "You must really love her then."

Yeosang leaves immediately after his last words, walking away with fast steps, and this time he has no intention of looking back over his shoulder.

He orders a Manhattan at the bar but instead of finding Lucas right away, Yeosang takes his cocktail and leaves the event hall. He walks down a long corridor, until he finds a quiet place to collect himself.

Sitting on the windowsill he looks out into the darkness while sipping the cocktail. It still doesn't seem real, what just has happened. All the times he had imagined how it would be if he ever met Seonghwa again, have definitely been shot down tonight.

The way Seonghwa acted towards him hurts him deeper than he'd like to admit. Yeosang has always thought that they could at least pretend to be friends, or at least show that they used to know each other, if they ever were to meet again.

He wants to scream, to cry, to run and never stop. His heart is starting to beat faster and faster, and suddenly it is like every emotion he's ever felt is storming through him like a tornado. He feels like he is suffocating, unbuttoning the three upper buttons in his shirt hoping that it will help him breathe better.

"Get yourself together, Yeosang," he mumbles angrily to himself.

After he has finished his cocktail, and a quick pep-talk with himself, Yeosang is on his way back to the others. Seonghwa should know better than try to play it cool towards him. He should know that if anyone can act like nothing matters, it's Yeosang.

He soon finds Lucas, who's of course talking to Seonghwa and Tzuyu at one of the tables. He takes a deep breath and puts on his best poker face before walking up to them. Not even looking at Seonghwa for one second, he leans down next to Lucas, placing his arm around his broad shoulders.

"I'm tired, I'll leave now. But you know, I don't really feel like going home to a cold bed tonight," Yeosang whispers seductively in Lucas' ear, and Lucas instantly knows what he wants.

"Oh! Of course, babe, it's late after all and the jetlag is no joke! I'll just say goodbye, and then we can leave together, is that ok?" Lucas smiles at him. Yeosang nods before turning towards the others.

"It was so nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Park. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of your evening, and I'm sure we'll get to see each other a lot more in the future," he says with the fakest smile ever, as he leans in across the table to shake hands.

He may lean in a bit too far, as he bids farewell with Seonghwa. Definitely enough for his shirt, which is still unbuttoned at the top, to reveal his collarbones. Seonghwa can try to pretend like Yeosang doesn't know anything about him anymore, but it's clear to see that this move still hits right where Yeosang intended.

Seonghwa's hand might be shaking Yeosang's as he says goodbye, but his eyes keep shifting from Yeosang's exposed skin, to his eyes and back again. A lot of things may have happened the past couple of years, but Seonghwa surely seems to still melt under what used to be his greatest weakness when it came to Yeosang's body, and Yeosang simply smirks satisfied at the reaction.

✦

The sun is peeking in through the curtains, lighting up the messy bedroom. Lucas has left for work earlier in the morning, but as the thoughtful boyfriend that he is, he has ordered breakfast for Yeosang - which is waiting for him at the table in the suite's dining room.

Pancakes, strawberries, pastries, eggs, coffee, champagne and more, way too much for Yeosang to finish by himself. Lucas might know many things, but he has no clue how normal people live.

Yeosang picks up a glass of champagne and sips it slowly, while reading a small card Lucas has left on the table for him.

"Sorry I had to leave so early.
Leaving you, even for a few hours kills me.
I'll pick you up for dinner tonight. I can't wait.
I love you.
Yours forever, Lucas"

A smile rolls over Yeosang's lips as he reads it. Lucas is always so romantic and cheesy; some would think he's joking even though he is deadly serious when doing such things. Yeosang knows Lucas loves him very, very much and he does love Lucas too. But it's not as easy for him to show it.

"I'd give you the world, if you asked me to," Lucas always tells him.

With the champagne in his hand, Yeosang lounges around the big suite, looking out over the city through the floor to ceiling windows. He'll never get used to this kind of life, no matter how much Lucas tries to make him a part of it. But it's not like he can complain about staying in a five-star hotel suite, drinking champagne before 10 AM, wearing the softest robe he's ever worn in his life.

But still... This kind of lifestyle will never be his daily life. He should get ready and head back to Wooyoung's place, which is his place too now.

A knock on the door disturbs Yeosang's otherwise peaceful morning, and when he walks to open up he has no idea who it could be.

"What are you doing here?" Yeosang sighs, already regretting opening the door.

"I'm just here to pick up Lucas. So-" Seonghwa suddenly cuts himself off, his eyes falling to Yeosang's chest which is barely covered by the robe.

"Lucas left already." Yeosang leans himself against the doorframe, his arms crossed in front of him. While he probably should feel embarrassed, standing there so exposed, he doesn't - not in any way.

Seonghwa can't seem to stop staring, and Yeosang knows exactly why. Last night had been just as wild as usual with Lucas - perhaps even more, since Yeosang's hunger for getting punished in the bedroom had seemed to be insatiable. And Lucas likes to mark what is his.

Seonghwa just hums with a nod as response, and turns around to walk away. But just as Yeosang is about to close the door, Seonghwa stops and looks back at him.

"You didn't tell Lucas about us, right?"

"Oh, I thought we pretended it never happened?" Yeosang scoffs, not even trying to hide the sarcasm. "But no. I haven't told him."

"Good. I'd like to keep it that way. I'd prefer If we could just be strangers." Seonghwa clears his throat, and walks away with a fast pace.

"Strangers, it is," Yeosang mumbles to himself, before shutting the door.