Anika's Point Of View ~ 

This day has finally come. 

There he is. 

Our eyes on each other. But within a matter of seconds, mine look away. Looking down. Just at anything that isn't him. I feel the speed of my heart increase at an incredible rate, breath caught in my throat, my hands shaking. I can't talk. I can't say anything. 

Please, forgive me Michael.

I look back up at him. His stare is still upon me. A look of shock is seen all over his face too. I wonder if he knew I was back in town, somehow finding out. It is a small town, after all. He wouldn't want to see me. Of course he wouldn't. Why would he? I would love to get into his mind right now. To be able to take apart all his thoughts, both new and old. To have a clear look in whatever he may be thinking in this moment. Talk Anika, speak to him. 

". . Mi . . Mi . . Michael . . " I stutter, struggling. 

But finally getting it out. I haven't spoken his name in 10 years. My eyes on his, but this time, I will not look away again. His face shocked still, but then it changes. It softens. He smiles. It's like the shock has suddenly worn off as he appears to have taken a mental note that it's me he's looking at. After all these years. I am looking at him. He is really here. His eyes blinking every now and again. He wasn't expecting to see me, nor me to see him. It's a shock for the both of us. 

". . Anika . . hello . . " Michael says softly. 

My lips move, going to speak but it's like no sound comes out. I'm just so nervous. His mouth turning back into that beautiful smile that I always remembered him to wear often. 

"How have you been? . . " He asks me gently. 

I look at him. Up and down then back up again. I take my own mental notes of him. His voice remaining the same. Those piercing brown eyes of his still have that sparkle. My eyes look down again before making their way back up into his hypnotising stare. His hair is different now. His curls are no longer as they are now replaced with a shorter style. Very handsome. And his skin is much more fair as well then the last time I saw him. 

Wow. He is gorgeous. 

"I have been fine, thank you Michael . . " I say, this time saying it more clearer. 

I just can't believe it. After all of this time of thinking back. Remembering my life here, remembering my past . . remembering him. His smile, his laugh, his voice, even his smell. After I have been completely torturing myself for years. Michael is in front of my eyes. My heart pounding. From fear and genuine shock. And after convincing myself that he like me, moved away. But he didn't. He is still here. I'm completely lost for words now. My mind is blank. I don't know what to say to him. I can't even look at him. I feel as though I have no right. I look away from his eyes once again. I'm so sorry Michael. I am so ashamed. I feel him in front of me suddenly. Everyone, everything around us has stopped. 

It's just him and I. 

I look back up at him. Breathe Anika. Just breathe. 

" . . what about you, Michael? . . " I ask him. 

He shrugs his shoulders. "Oh you know, ups and downs . . " He says with a chuckle. 

" . . but that's life, right? . . " He throws in. 

Michael's voice is so calm. I chuckle myself, nodding as I agree with him. He looks amazing. He looks the same as I remember but different all at the same time. He looks older of course, like he has grown up but still as handsome and as gorgeous as I remember. I see his eyes move down from mine, they slowly glide down my body. Butterflies in my stomach, heart rate rapid. His stare is so mesmerising. His eyes back on me. Those beautiful brown eyes. How I have missed them. The way they still sparkle, they always had this shine about them. Such a kind nature about them. 

"You look amazing, Anika . . " He says, wetting his lips slightly. 

His calm voice, it helps to calm me down. I just giggle, looking down as I feel myself blush. 

"Thank you, Michael . . " I softly say. 

It's silent between us for a few seconds. 

"Oh, I'm staying with my grandmother . . " I tell him. 

"Oh that's great. Back home . . " He says, continuing to smile. 

Should I explain? Should I apologise? I clear my throat as a way to break these seconds of silence between us. Just as I'm about to say something else to Michael, another voice is heard from a distance, calling his name. He looks back before he nods at this person. I look as well. Oh it's another work colleague I assume. Michael then looks back at me. 

"Look, I better get back to work . . " He says. 

I just nod. "Yeah, I'll let you get back to work . . " 

He begins to move backwards, but still looking at me as he does so. 

"It was good to see you again, Anika . . " He says with a smile. 

"You too, Michael . . " I smile slightly, throwing in a soft wave. 

I watch him walk away from me. I feel my heart break. But why? It's like now that I know he is here, that seeing him after years of missing him. I don't want him to go. I don't want him to leave. Whoa. I can't believe that just happened. After 10 years, I just saw Michael. Heart pounding within me still. I make my way back to the table where Lisa is patiently waiting for me to return. I see her, she sees me. A look on her face. Her eyebrows raised. I sit back onto my chair very slowly. 

"That was Michael you were talking to, wasn't it? . . " Lisa asks me quietly. 

But I feel she already knows the answer. I just nod. No words spoken.

"What did he say to you? . . " Lisa asks. 

I look at her. "He just said hi . . " 

"He asked me how I was and then he had to go back to work . . " I say. 

" . . he said it was good to see me again . . " I feel my eyes begin to water. 

"Anika, dear. You need to tell him . . " Lisa says. Her hand upon mine. 

Her voice concerned, determined even. I can't do that. There is no way I can do that. I can't. He wouldn't understand. There is no way. I shake my head at Lisa, not speaking. Lisa leans down on her seat. She looks around. 

"Anika, you forgot the wine dear . . " She says gently. 

A rush of panic comes through me. After seeing Michael, it just totally threw me off and I completely forgot about the wine I went to the bar to get in the first place. 

"Sorry Lisa. I completely forgot . . " I say, just about to get up. 

But she stops me. Standing up from her seat. 

"No, no. You stay here. I'll get them . . " She says with a smile. 

Lisa walks away from me, making her way to the bar. I lose her in the crowd. I can't believe I just saw and spoke to Michael. And he actually spoke to me back. Lisa must've known that Michael still lives here. Lisa has lived here her whole life. I take a big breath out. I can't get angry at Lisa . . I'm not angry at her. She hasn't done anything wrong. Lisa is living her life, not paying attention to people connected to me. Michael must've been who she saw when I was talking to Darren on the phone . . what she was trying to tell me when I told her I was going to the bar to get us more wine. But I didn't listen to her. Ugh, just seeing him again. I can't believe it. I always had this day in my mind. Thinking of what I would say when . . if I ever saw Michael again. That maybe, being away after all these years would make it easier to speak to him but it didn't. I see Lisa come back, two glasses of red in her hands. She places mine in front of me. I take a sip and within a matter of seconds, my glass is already empty. 

"I'm sorry, Anika. I was trying to tell you . . " She says softly. 

"It's okay Lisa. I know you were. I see that now . . " I say with a slight smile. 

"Speak to him again, Anika. Tell him but only when you're ready . . " Lisa says. 

Just the thought terrifies me. I am so fucking scared. I don't anything else to her, just nodding my head. I understand what she's saying and she's right. It is something that I really need to do. I just need to get the courage to speak to Michael again.

to be continued.