Anika's Point Of View ~

There was no questions. 

I told Darren that Michael was just an old friend. Someone I used to go to school with and we have been catching up since I have been back in town. He is good that way, Darren. But I think back and it hurts me so. Michael didn't stay long, not at all. Simple introductions were made on both parts before Michael just . . left. Darren went back inside the house. But I stayed at the door. My eyes showing nothing but gloom as I watched his retreat. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He got to his car, but then he turned around. 

To look back at me. 

Before he got into his car, driving away. I closed my eyes after that. Putting my head down. He was so sad. I'm so sorry, Michael. I'm so sorry. I give a smile. A small wave to Darren. I watch as he goes through security, on his way to his flight. Back home. I'm staying here still of course. I'm not going back yet. Grandmother still needs much looking after and I'm still all she has. But I need more help. It's something I know I need to look more into. I can't do it on my own no more. 

There is Lisa. 

She still helps me out. She minds grandmother, keeping an eye on her because I don't want her to be on her own. I asked Lisa if she could today, but she couldn't. She told me she has a brunch on. Catching up with her sister. Which is very nice. But she did tell me she is able to check in on grandmother once she gets home. That is fine. I left grandmother with her books. I don't know what else to do. I'm just hoping it will keep her occupied for a while. I watch as Darren gets through, picking up his bag once it comes back to him as she waits on the other end of the baggage scanner - getting the all clear. He turns around, giving me a final wave. I wave back, watching as he turns the corner and is then gone. I take a deep breath once he disappears. My hands taking a hold of my jacket from either side, bringing it together and in front of me. My arms crossed. I make my way to the exist, back towards my car. 

But I'm not going back to grandmothers . . not just yet. 

I need to go and see Michael. 

I know I shouldn't but I can't ignore this feeling. I drive out of the car park, back onto the main road. Mind drifting. I once more picture Michael's face when he saw Darren. I wanted to put my arms around him. Protect him. But I couldn't. That feeling inside me as I knew that I wasn't allowed to do that . . ugh. I can't even describe it. I could honestly feel my heart break in that moment. But I'm not a stranger to that feeling. Not at all. It has happened to me before . . 10 years ago. When I left. When I left Michael. And I'm still picking up the pieces from that. I watch as everything passes by. Each street different from the last. My heart pounding with each turn. I don't know what I will say to Michael when I see him. I guess I'll figure it out once he's standing in front of me. I'm looking out, making sure I don't miss it. I look at the address again. His address. 

It's this block. 

I find a park just outside, turning my car off. I probably should've called him but . . that will take more time. I just want to see him. So fucking badly. 

Now I'm on the floor. I see the number. The front door is before me. This is it. This is Michael's apartment. I knock, waiting for an answer. I don't even know if he is home or not. It's been a few seconds and still nothing. Maybe Michael isn't home after all. I won't lie, I'm sad. But just as I'm about to turn around, the door opens. He is home. My question has only just now been confirmed. 

"Michael. Hi . . " I say, my voice shaking. 

Michael stares at me, not knowing what to say. I don't blame him to feel that way. Oh god. Does Michael even want me here? What if he wants me to leave? 

"Anika? . . what are you doing here? . . " 

He asks me softly. He looks so gorgeous. Damn. He is dressed simply. It's so simple that it's sexy. He stands before me wearing black pants and just a plain button up shirt. Michael's question causes me to shrug my shoulders, looking down as I feel a sudden embarrassment from my unexpected, uninvited presence. He doesn't sound too happy to see me. He seems very shocked. As if he is wanting me to walk away right now. Fuck. Maybe coming here wasn't the best idea. 

"I ah . . well I . . " I stutter. 

But Michael remains there, in a very polite manner as he waits for me to keep myself together. I take a breath out. I need to gather myself. I need my heart to stop beating so damn quickly. I need to find my voice. I need to be honest with Michael. 

"I wanted to see you, Michael. I wanted to find you . . " 

I say softly. He just looks at me. His eyes say many things but I can't quite make out what he is really thinking right now. 

"You can come in if you want . . " 

Michael tells me softly. He turns, walking back inside his apartment. The front door remains open as the decision now rests with me. But to me, this isn't even a decision to make. I walk in, closing the door behind me. My eyes look around as I take in my brand new surroundings. Wow. Michael's apartment is so beautiful. Very cozy indeed. I see someone familiar to me. 

It's Odie. 

I walk over to him as he's laying on one of his beds in the lounge room. His eyes on me. I pat him on the head, his nose finds me. Within seconds, my smell is recognised. His tail begins to wag faster and faster. He remembers me. It even makes Michael chuckle as he witnesses this. I look towards that gorgeous sound . . his laugh. It makes me smile. I can't help it. To me, it's such a beautiful melody. 

"How has Odie been? . . " I ask. 

"Not the best. He has been scared lately . . " Michael tells me softly. 

Oh no. Hmm I wonder why? I look back at Odie. He is happy now, seems calm too. But of course Michael knows more than me. I mean, he see's Odie more than I do. He tells me he took him to the vet and it could just be one of those things. It can happen. Behaviour can change, even in dogs. Poor Odie. He is such a lovely dog. Michael has done a great job at training him, raising him. I take my eyes off Odie, looking at Michael now. But he isn't doing the same. I decide to do it. To just say it. To break the ice, I suppose. 

"I didn't know Darren was coming to visit . . " I say. 

It gets Michael's attention as he looks at me. 

"He is a nice guy, Darren is . . " Michael responses. His statement sincere. 

I don't disagree. "He is . . " Saying softly. 

It's silent for a few seconds. As I look at Michael, I just want to touch him, kiss him all over again. I don't regret that but I know it's something I should not have done. I just wanted to be close to him again. To stop him from leaving. All I have thought about is that night. I can't stop. No matter how hard I try. Having his hands on me too, his lips on mine again . . hmm it just draws you more into him. 

"You haven't said anything to Darren . . about us? . . " Michael asks me. 

I shake my head gently, letting it hang down. My lips squeeze together. 

"What is it that you want, Anika? . . " 

He asks again but the question remains soft. I look back up at him. One and two tears run down my cheek. I don't want to lie to Michael again. That was such a mistake. I love Michael. I never fucking stopped. Michael walks slowly towards me. His finger under my chin, my light but still tear stained face looking at him. He wipes them away lovingly with his thumbs. 

"Let me ask you again . . " 

"Who do you love, Anika? . . " Michael asks, in a whisper. 

His hands around my waist now. On my body. Hmm. His lips hover of mine. 

"You Michael. I love you . . " I finally admit to him. 

His lips attach gently to mine. My hands come up, one on the back of his neck, the other just sits upon his shoulder. The kiss gets more fierce. Our hands everywhere . . all over each other's body. Ugh. Oh my god. Michael begins to walk backwards. But the kiss doesn't break. I follow him. Until Michael sits down. My hands grabbing onto his shirt as I straddle his lap. His hands fall to his side, under my exposed thighs. I lift my head to the feeling of his touch there. He kisses my neck as I do so. My arms around his neck. The kiss breaks as my eyes look into his. 

I hear my phone ring.

Ugh. No. I think to myself letting it just ring out. But I keep my focus on Michael. His eyes sparkle, still. That dark chocolate brown colour has never changed. I kiss him again, he kisses me back. Both of us breathing heavily. Hmm. Just the feeling of Michael touching me like this again. 

It rings again. 

I break the kiss, frustration within me. I take my phone out of my short back pocket, looking at the caller ID. It's Lisa. My mind immediately goes somewhere negative. 

"Hi Lisa . . " I say breathlessly, still straddling Michael's lap. 

"Anika, it's your grandmother. She has had another fall . . " Lisa tells me. 

to be continued.