Anika Point Of View ~ 

It's just like when I first saw him. Speechless, shocked . . completely and utterly. I stare at him wide eyed. Michael is here. Please don't let this be a dream. I won't be able to handle that. 

He smiles at me. 

I feel myself float away. I have spent so much time thinking back, remembering that smile. A smile I never did forget. The thought of it only in my mind . . never knowing if I'll ever see it again. But I wrong. I was very wrong and I'm so happy that I was. 

"Anika? . . " Michael speaks again. 

Oh god. That voice. It is still so calming yet so intoxicating. It just draws you more into him. I put my head down, not wanting to look at him. Not in the eyes. I get the courage. I need to look at him. I know I do. Come on Anika . . look at Michael. Don't you dare look away from him. 

"Michael, hi . . " I say to him finally. 

He chuckles to my slow reaction, or more so at the nervousness that is felt throughout the both of us I believe. His eyes at my feet before he brings them up, looking at me back in the eyes once he gets back to my face. 

"You look amazing, Anika . . " He tells me. 

I blush, a lot. I feel my cheeks completely burn up. My heart beating more and more, feeling myself begin to sweat. Oh god. I must look like an absolute mess right now. But Michael says I look amazing . . well, one of us is a liar. I look at him myself, up and down. He looks incredible. His style is different now, it's much more grown up. Very mature yet so stylish I must say. When we were younger, he always dressed in buckles and belts matching it with these gorgeous curls and I absolutely adored that look. At one stage, I believe grandmother thought he was some bad boy. The thought makes me laugh . . Michael was never that. He was always sweet and very respectful. But then grandmother realised that for herself, that it wasn't the case and ended up completely loving Michael once she got to know him. He looks older . . well, don't we all? But he still remains very handsome and just as stunning as I remember him. Because some things don't change. 

"Thank you Michael. So do you . . " I say. 

It's silent for a few seconds, but it feels like hours. Oh god. I hate this silence. I wanna talk to him but I can't seem to find the words. What do I say to him now? I wish my mind would just switch off but it can't. Instead, it's going a million miles an hour. I got my wish . . Michael is here. He is standing right in front of me again. Now is my chance. However, I can't rush it. I need to take it slow. I need to think about what I say before I even say it. I mean, I really need to think about it. Going down that road and way too soon . . right now. It's not a good idea. I don't want to upset him.

Think Anika. Think of something to say to him. 

"Would you like to come in, Michael? . . 

I ask him. But he declines and very politely too. I hear a voice behind me causing me to look behind me to see grandmother walking towards us. 

"Anika. Is someone here? I thought I heard a knock on the door, dear . . " She says. 

She is now standing beside me, looking at Michael. Michael is looking at grandmother wearing a big smile on his face. I look towards grandmother. I can tell by her face. She doesn't know who he even is. She doesn't remember him. He is like a stranger to her. She has on her large, clear reading glasses as she stares at him, trying her best to remember who he is. But I know she doesn't. Grandmother looks at me. I place my hand on her upper arm, a way to tell her that Michael is very friendly and he presents no harm. 

"This is Michael. You know Michael . . " I say to her. 

She looks back at Michael. It makes me look at him too. Poor Michael, he must be so confused right now. He doesn't know what is happening with grandmother. The fact that she isn't well . . that she isn't the person she used to be, not anymore. I look back at grandmother as I feel her eyes on me once again. 

"Do you remember Michael, grandmother? . . " I ask her softly. 

I look back at Michael. He looks at me. I try to tell him secretly, without grandmother seeing. I just gently shake my head at him. Informing him that no, grandmother doesn't remember him. She doesn't know who he is. Michael's face completely lit up when he saw her walking towards us. He was so excited to see her . . I could tell. 

"No I'm sorry, young man . . " 

" . . but I don't remember you . . " Grandmother says quietly. 

I put my arm around her shoulder, comforting her as best as I can. I tell her to go back, to continue reading her book. She looks at me, nodding her head before she looks back at Michael. It's an apologetic kind of look I would describe it. It makes me sad. It's like grandmother has gotten worse and it's only been a matter of a few days. Grandmother walks away from us, down the hallway and then around the corner towards the back verandah. Both our eyes on her as she leaves. I snap my head back towards Michael. A nervous, deeply saddened chuckle escape my slightly shaking lips. I don't want to cry, but seeing her like that really upsets me. 

"I'm sorry about that . . " I say, my eyes glassy. 

Michael puts his hands out. "It's okay, Anika. Don't worry about it . . " 

I don't say much else about grandmother to him, not yet anyways. But I believe Michael has already figured it out for himself, it's not too hard to see. I don't wish to speak about it yet to him. The silence comes back. Ugh, I need to think. I need to think on my feet with what to say next to him. Do I say that I have missed him? What about the fact that I have been thinking about him since I saw him a few days ago . . well, for the last 10 years actually. No, no. Don't say that. I was right before, do not mention any of that now. It is a very bad idea. 

"How have you been, Michael? . . " I ask him. 

He shrugs. 

"Pretty busy with work these last few months actually. And other than that, just hanging out really . . " 

He says as he scratches the back of his neck. It's quiet once again. It feels like we are just complete strangers to each other. But we aren't, we most certainly are not strangers. It's like Michael has just had a thought, like he has just remembered something. He looks at his watch on his wrist. 

"Anika. I'm sorry but I have to go. I have forgotten something very important . . " 

Inside I feel myself go sad but on the outside I'm trying not to show that. I'm trying not to make it too obvious. He is leaving now? But he just got here. Before I say anything I see Michael pull out an old, crinkled receipt from his back pocket. His other hand patting down all over himself. Michael looks embarrassed but asks me if he can borrow a pen. I agree, of course. I quickly run to get one from the study before I come back to a waiting Michael. I hand it to him. Michael writes down something on the back of the receipt. Hmm, I wonder what he is writing. He hands me back the pen, giving me his thanks. But he holds onto the receipt, he looks at it for a good few seconds before he hands it to me. It's my chance to take a look at the receipt, at what Michael has just written down. 

It's his contact number and his home address. 

I want to keep this close to me, close to my heart. I want to protect it, defend it from anything and everything. He wants me to contact him. To even come by his place one day. 

Really? . . me? 

"Call me tomorrow, Anika? . . " He asks softly. 

I nod. "I will. I will, Michael . . " I tell him. 

He smiles at me as he takes a few small steps backwards. "Bye, Anika . . " 

I smile back, giving him a wave. I feel my heart completely losing it. 

"Bye, Michael . . " I say. 

I watch as he walks away, as he gets further and further away from me with each step he takes. I feel myself want to run after him. To then grab onto him and just never let go . . to kiss those lips, to feel his skin on mine again. But those days are gone. They don't exist as they are nothing but the past now. Michael gets into his car, giving me a small wave before he drives away. I look back down at the receipt that I feel was given to me by angels that heard my cries. I'm going to call him. Tomorrow. 

And hopefully it won't feel like we are strangers to each other. 

to be continued.