013 James Knight: Teenage Super Humans by - IskippU

by -IskippU

TITLE- 4/5

Perfectly goes with the theme. Even love the book cover.

BLURB- 5/5

Perfectly written. That's how everyone should exactly write the blurb .

BEGINNING- 5/5

Very intriguing and interesting beginning. You got me hooked.

GRAMMAR- 12/15

No grammatical errors were noticed and I loved your sentence construction and the way you describe everything is just awesome.

WRITING STYLE- 8/10

Dialogues were written with details and had good meanings. It was very easy to understand the prevailing situations and emotions of the characters.

PLOT- 17/20

Very unique theme. The plot is interesting and engaging. Totally enjoyed.

SURROUNDINGS- 7/10

It was very easy to understand the concept the situation and the story line. It was written with so much effort and patience.

CONTENT INSIDE- 7/10

Everything was relevant and appropriate. The chapter lengths were fine too. The characters description was written nicely. It can be better.

PACE- 3/5

It was good.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT- 2/5

It was a good story.

TOTAL- 70/90

Enjoyed reading the piece. Highly recommend.

014 GRIM | HARRY POTTER 

by Shortwolf20 

TITLE- 3/5

The title is good and matches with the theme.

BLURB- 2/5

The blurb was too long and it did not contain anything catchy or interesting about the story. It must be short and crisp.

BEGINNING- 2/5

The beginning was good but not that engaging.

GRAMMAR- 8/15

There were few punctuation errors and dialogue tags were missing, sentence formation was plain, have to improve your vocabulary.

WRITING STYLE- 4/10

Dialogues were written without Dialogue tags making the readers confused to understand the situation properly. The surroundings were not described properly. Need more information.

PLOT-10/20

Your story has potential but it lacks execution and insights. Try to stress on that.

SURROUNDINGS- 5/10

Description of the surrounding were very less.Try to add something more and rephrase the writing

CONTENT INSIDE- 7/10

The content has potential and interesting. Need to stress on character structuring abdomen development too.

PACE- 3/5

Pace was smooth.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT- 2/5

When you are writing something related to Harry Potter, you cannot expect your readers to be a potterhead. You need to write the piece in such a way that people should get interested in the book. You need to work on it. Write more descriptions, Try to explain things with more clarity.

TOTAL- 46/90

Your book has potential, just need some guidance. Keep writing.

0015 Still a Family ? 

by taekookiecookie 

TITLE- 2/5

The title was okay. And it is also relevant to the plot.

BLURB- 5/5

The blurb is very perfectly written. It is appropriate and catchy

BEGINNING- 5/5

The setting of the story is very nice and engaging...makes the readers curious to read more. Very nicely written.

GRAMMAR- 10/15

You need to stress on sentence construction and there was few punctuation errors here and there. Rest is fine.

WRITING STYLE- 7/10

Your writing style is very good easy to understand and nicely introduces to the characters, their emotions and readers could easy connect to the prevailing situations. The dialogues were written in also a good way. Just try to proofread few areas ,and you will find out where to rephrase the paragraphs.

PLOT- 16/20

Love the central idea of the story, very interesting and I liked how you executed everything so well.

SURROUNDINGS- 9/10

Things do makes sense and everything was on point. Well executed. Loved the plot.

CONTENT INSIDE- 6/10

The chapters were of good length and ends with a question "What will happen next.?" Amongst the readers which is really good thing. I loved your story.

PACE- 5/5

The pace is perfect.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT- 5/5

Good engagement. Interesting storytelling.

TOTAL- 70/90

Good book. Must read.

016 Rhyshannon Chronicles | Book 1: A Path of Swords

by Aravis-Brightspell 

TITLE- 3.5/5 

This is a pretty typical fantasy title and appeals to a fantasy audience. However, it doesn't really tell me anything unique about the book at first glance, other than that it's part of a series.

BLURB- 5/5 

 The blurb is great. Short, to the point, and grabbed my interest without giving too much away.

BEGINNING- 4/5 

 The story starts in a good place, right after David is attacked the first time and loses his grandfather. Chapter 02 then shows us more of the fantasy elements of the world and what appears to be the main antagonist/threat. My only complaint is that Chapter 02 answers pretty much all the questions I had from Chapter 01, leaving me with less curiosity to keep reading forward.

GRAMMAR- 14.5/15 

Most of the grammar and punctuation is quite good; the only errors I saw were occasional weirdly constructed sentences.

WRITING STYLE- 8/10 

The writing is descriptive without being over-the-top. It seems to be mostly 3rd Person Limited following David's perspective, but sometimes jumps into other characters' thoughts; I'd recommend trying to keep an entire chapter in just one character's thoughts, or at least an entire section, rather than switching in the middle since that can be jarring. Some of the characters' internal thoughts were weirdly phrased--like a person wouldn't actually say something that way--but the spoken dialogue was more consistent.

PLOT- 17/20 

 The plot is solid and seems unique. I was curious from the beginning about what was happening and why. I mentioned before that Chapter 02 answered too many questions; however, the opposite happened starting in Chapter 04, when I got so many questions that I just felt sort of lost. However, everything seems to be planned out and I was able to keep reading, trusting that it was going somewhere cohesive.

SURROUNDINGS- 9/10 

The world is very expansive and intriguing. There are multiple different worlds introduced with interesting setting details about each. I would have liked a little more detail to ground us in each setting--particularly the Void and/or Ervon in Chapter 05, and the mind dimension in Chapter 06--but what we got was still interesting.

CONTENT INSIDE- 8.5/10 

CHAPTERS: The chapters are a nice length and break in good places. 

CHARACTERS: David is a solid character. He has realistic grief and confusion after being attacked and losing his grandfather. He didn't have any unique traits that really stood out to me, but those may develop as the story progresses and he was still sympathetic. The side characters are very well-written, from Dr. Mallory to the Myrdraath.

PACE-2.5/5 

The story moves very quickly at the beginning. It feels like we hardly get any sense of what "regular" life is like for David before everything changes completely. I liked how Chapter 01 started after the first attack, but I wanted a little more down time before the second attack, especially since that second attack (in Chapter 04) destroys basically the entire setting the reader is familiar with and leaves us without anything concrete setting to latch onto until Chapter 07.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT- 4/5 

 The blurb and first chapter got me hooked into the story. The side characters and worldbuilding made everything feel very real. The only part that lost me was the fast pacing around chapters 03-06, as I mentioned before. Overall this is a solid story and I'm curious to see where it goes!

TOTAL-76/90