005 Vines of Hunger 

alana_kate 

TITLE: (5/5)

This title is something worth clicking. It's is definitely very unique and memorable. It was relevant to the genre without it being a stereotypical name for an action novel. It was relevant to the story line.

BLURB: (3/5)

The blurb was a little bit long, but everything in there was necessary. I wish there was a little bit more about the New Order in the blurb, such as explaining what they were with a word or a sentence. The third paragraph is currently just one sentence, and it can easily be split into three different sentences. In that same paragraph, it says 22rd, but it's supposed to be 22nd. The second and third paragraph can be combined to make one paragraph, and the last paragraph can stay because it works effectively engaging readers. Also, just a very nitpicky thing, there are two spaces between the second and third paragraph instead of one.

BEGINNING: (5/5)

 The intro was on point! I loved the intro so much, I didn't mind that it didn't introduce any of the main characters, but it did introduce us to the conflict. It was so vague about everything, so it drew me in even more. I never would've guessed it was your first time writing third person because it was just so good.

GRAMMAR: (15/15)

I haven't spotted anything major, and I am able to read the story just fine.

WRITING STYLE: (8/10)

 It was beautiful, and I loved it a lot. It wasn't too complicated in it's word choices and everything was described beautifully. Since it was in first person, there weren't any changes in the POV, but I liked it and it worked well with the story. The beginning of each chapter wasn't as interesting as the rest of the chapters, since it usually took a few paragraphs for anything to happen. I liked the bolding of the first few words of each chapter though, it made me understand that we were in a different chapter better.

PLOT: (20/20)

 I loved the plot so much! It took something that had already been done and put a good twist to it. It reminded me so much of COVID-19, but at the same time it was so different. The blurb matched the plot very much, and I felt like every scene had it's time to shine.

SURROUNDINGS- 10 MARKS

10/10 : I understood the surroundings, it was similar to our own world with just a few differences. It gave off a truly dystopian vibe, which I enjoyed visualizing.

CONTENT INSIDE: (10/10)

The chapters were around 2,000 words which is a good number for the chapters to be. I thought each word was used effectively, and I liked the characterization of each character a lot too. They all had their own individual personalities which made sense for the situations they were in, and I liked that their goals were very clear from the moment they were introduced.

PACE: (4.5/5)

I liked the overall pacing of the book, even for being a shorter book it hit all of the plot points that it needed to hit. However, I wish it were just a little bit slower to truly expand on some plot points - especially near the beginning.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT: (5/5)

I loved it! It's been a while since I've read a dystopian story, and it really kept me hooked for the most part. It had just enough action to where I wasn't lost but I wasn't craving for something to happen ( I know I commented about the beginning of each chapter, but actual plot progression wise it was fine ).

TOTAL: (85.5/90)

006 Agent X: Dark Descent 

@Nightmansid

TITLE: (3/5)

 It was a cool title, not particularly memorable. It fit the action genre, and I could see where it fit in the storyline. However, the title doesn't have a colon ( : ) after the 'Agent X' part, but it does have it in the copyright section, which confused me a bit and took me a while to understand. Not having the colon also makes it grammatically incorrect.

BLURB: (2/5)

 It was short and sweet, and it fit the plot of the book well. There were a couple of grammatical issues with it though. The second sentence of the blurb doesn't read well, I'd suggest switching 'that' and 'all' since 'that all' reads differently. After the comma in the second sentence, I'd suggest changing that since even after reading the story I don't understand what it means. I'd suggest adding a semicolon and changing the tense of 'turning' since the rest of the blurb is in past tense, and also playing around with the wording quite a bit. The third sentence needs an and after the first comma. I'd also suggest making that sentence into two different sentences, but it isn't as important.

BEGINNING: (4.5/5)

 I like the beginning and I thought it was interesting, however the in depth explanation about Deshed could be shortened down to a few sentences instead of two big paragraphs. The rest of the beginning is good though because it immediately starts with action.

GRAMMAR: (12/15)

 Disregarding the slew of grammatical errors in the blurb, there wasn't as many issues in the actual book itself. There were a few fragment sentences and sometimes the tense would change from past to present and back, but for the most part it was grammatically accurate.

WRITING STYLE: (10/10)

 The writing style was fit for an action story. The words were simple and easy to understand and there wasn't as much technical jargon as I was expecting. The descriptions were kept at a minimum, but enough for me to understand. Except for the first POV change, none of the other ones were jarring.

PLOT: (15/20)

See, it wasn't a bad plot but the problem is that it was a stereotypical action plot. Assassins, bosses-turned-bad, kidnapped from home, genetic modification etc. are some common action stereotypes. It was well executed, but it wasn't anything interesting. I predicted almost everything a few chapters before they actually happened, but that was because it played out like almost every other American action movie. It was well executed and the plot aligned with the blurb.

SURROUNDINGS: (9/10)

The book provided enough details about the surroundings to help me visualize what was happening. However, there could have been a bit more detail about everything in general. It wasn't the most realistic thing I've read, but I understand because the plot armor was necessary.

CONTENT INSIDE: (10/10)

 The chapters were a little longer that I usually read, but it was filled to the brim with action so I liked reading it a lot. It was engaging and kept me hooked since I felt like if I blinked I would miss something. There was an okay amount of character development, and there was enough so far that I thought it was appropriate.

PACE: (5/5)

Talk about an action story! Literally every other paragraph has something going on, which is EXACTLY how an action story should play out. It was a literal page turner because I just wanted to know how something was going to play out ( even though in my gut I knew ), so a very successful action story in terms of pacing.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT: (5/5)

 I liked it quite a bit, I thought it was absolutely amazing. I liked the fast and vivid pacing of the whole book, which kept me interested. A very good read indeed for me.

TOTAL: (85/90)

007 Becoming a Superhero 

MirageShadow 

TITLE: (3/5) 

The title attracts readers, but I'm not sure if it fits the story since Max ends up giving up his powers. In the title, 'A' shouldn't be capitalized.

BLURB: (4/5)

The blurb introduces the characters and the plot well. It draws readers into the story. The blurb does seem a little long though and some parts of it are repetitive.

BEGINNING: (0/5)

The beginning doesn't draw readers in and make them want to keep reading. The chapter feels rushed and there's not much detail in it.

GRAMMAR:  (0/15)

There were a lot of spelling and grammar errors throughout the chapters. The author capitalized words when they shouldn't be capitalized. There were a lot of sections where every word in a sentence was capitalized. There also shouldn't be space between the end of the sentence and the punctuation. Also, there were many spots where there was no punctuation.

WRITING STYLE: (0/10)

The writing style needs a lot of work. The author tells the readers what's happening instead of showing them. The actions scenes aren't described and are very short. There also isn't any descriptions of the characters or scenery. The dialogue is set up like a screenplay (Character Name: Dialogue) instead of how it is traditionally in books. The dialogue doesn't flow well with the rest of the story due to the odd formatting of it. It's also hard to convey the characters' actions and emotions in that format. I suggest formatting the dialogue how it is traditionally set up in stories. A lot of the phrasing used was hard to understand as well.

PLOT: (2/20)

The plot of the story isn't clear and it's hard to understand. The plot is also progressing very quickly. Max finds out his grandfather was a superhero, his grandfather dies, then Max gets his powers, Max gives the ring back to the aliens, then the zombie apocalypse, then more attacks, then he decides to give up his powers, and erase everyone's memories of him being a superhero. Take the time to show Max learning about his powers and what he can do. The readers don't even really know what his powers are. Take the time to show Max fighting and dealing with the attacks on his city. Also, where are Max's parents? It's mentioned his dad came back from his trip but he's never shown. And then right after the grandfather dies Max's mom just decides to leave him alone. In chapter seven you mention "Everybody in the Emerald City Calls Max Shadow Because Nobody Knows His Real Identity that How He Got the SuperHero Name Shadow !!!" That isn't true though. The doctor knows his identity. Also, if no one else knows his true identity, then how was the threatening letter delivered to him at his house? How was he attacked in his bedroom? And how did Loki know his phone number? How did the hooded figure know Luke is Shadow's friend? It doesn't make sense. I read all the chapters posted and the story also feels like it's pretty much over.

SURROUNDINGS: 1/10 

The story is definitely set in a fantasy world since superpowers and apparently magic exist. The world isn't explained to the readers though and the world isn't developed in the story.

CONTENT INSIDE: (0/10)

Despite the chapters being quite short, a lot of things happened in them. The author rushed through the events in the story. As mentioned, the action scenes weren't described at all. The author would just take a paragraph or two to tell the readers what happened. The characters weren't introduced and developed. The characters are very flat. Their personalities aren't shown well in the story and the readers don't know much about them.

PACE: (0/ 5) 

The pace of the story was consistent throughout the chapters, however, it was way too fast. The author doesn't take the time to develop the plot and characters or expand on the events in the story.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT: (0/5) 

The story wasn't enjoyable and I wouldn't read on. The plot progressed too quickly and the story was hard to understand. Also, I wasn't drawn into the story and I didn't feel connected to any of the characters.

TOTAL: (19/90)

Overall, the story needs to be thought out and developed more. The plot of the story isn't clear and the events are progressing too quickly. A lot of the plot also doesn't make sense. The author needs to slow down and take their time developing everything. The characters aren't introduced and developed. Their personalities aren't really shown in the story. Descriptions also need to be added in. There are no descriptions of the characters or the scenery. The story needs an edit to fix the grammar and spelling errors. Also, the author needs to show the readers what's happening instead of simply telling them. The cover art is pretty, however, the cover doesn't have the title and author's name on it. Good luck with your story!

008 Two Sides Of A Coin 

Seamlesslove 

TITLE: (4/5)

The title attracts readers to the story and it fits the story. The title is not capitalized correctly, "of a" should not be capitalized.

BLURB: (3/5)

The blurb doesn't introduce the story and characters very well. It also needs an edit, it doesn't flow well.

BEGINNING:  (1/5)

There's a lot happening in the prologue and it doesn't draw me into the story. A lot of the phrasing is hard to understand.

GRAMMAR: (8/15) 

There were grammar errors and a few spelling errors. There should be a comma before sir. For example, "Yes, sir." and "Right away, sir." The author also spells Y/n's name "Miss. Hwang" and "Ms. Hwang" throughout the chapters.

Make sure to start a new line when a new character is speaking.

For example, you have this part in chapter seven:

"Alright then I'll too-" "I'm his assistant, you go, please Jackson," Y/n cut him off and helped him support Isuel before running back towards Namjoon.

It should be like this:

"Alright then I'll too-"

"I'm his assistant, you go, please Jackson," Y/n cut him off and helped him support Isuel before running back towards Namjoon.

WRITING STYLE: (0/10) 

The writing style needs a lot of work. The author tells the readers what's happening instead of showing them. There aren't many descriptions included in the story. Be sure to describe not only the characters, but the scenery as well. The author also changes from third-person to first-person POV when it isn't necessary. You can show Y/n's thoughts and feelings in the third-person POV that's normally used in the story. The narration and dialogue are hard to understand because of the phrasing used.

PLOT: (0/20) 

The plot isn't clear and the events of the story are confusing. It seems like the story needs to be thought out and developed more. I'm not really sure where the plot is heading, a lot seems to be happening. Also, a lot of the events also don't make sense and aren't realistic. If one of the detectives is covering for the murderer, why were they so obvious about it? Submitting an essentially blank report is more suspicious than planting evidence and false leads. I thought this was a detective murder mystery story, however, it seems more like the characters are spies. The training and department are very secretive and it doesn't fit with them being police. The exposition needs to introduce the characters and the world better.

SURROUNDINGS: (0/10) 

It seems like the story is supposed to be set in a realistic world, however, the world is very confusing and not realistic. Why is training to become a detective and spy in the same academy? Why is someone able to become a detective and spy? I thought they were cops, not spies. When they found the burnt bracelet at the crime scene, why didn't they put it in an evidence bag? They're touching it and ruining the evidence. Why did they tell Seulgi and Y/n to stay away from each other? I know you mentioned they're the top trainees, but them being separated and told to stay apart doesn't make sense. Y/n also wouldn't be able to catch a knife that was thrown at her. Namjoon was severely wounded in the fight, but wandered off to go handle the smoke and continued to fight. If he was bleeding that heavily, he probably wouldn't be conscious still and would need medical attention. Also, where did the smoke even come from?

CONTENT INSIDE: (3/10) 

Despite the chapters being pretty short, a lot happened in the chapters. The characters need to be introduced better. As mentioned, the characters weren't described. Their personalities aren't shown well in the chapters either. The characters seem one-dimensional because they aren't developed in the chapters.

PACE: (0/5) 

The pacing of the story needs to be slower. The author doesn't take the time to develop the characters and events.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT: (0/5) 

The story wasn't enjoyable and I wouldn't read on. It was hard to understand what was happening in the story. The world wasn't explained and the plot didn't make sense. I don't really know anything about the characters so I wasn't connected to them.

TOTAL: (19/90)

Overall, the story needs to be thought out and developed more. The plot isn't clear and the events that have happened in the story don't make sense. The exposition doesn't introduce the characters and the world. The world needs to be explained to the readers so they know if it's supposed to be realistic or more fantasy-like. As of now, the world isn't very realistic. Don't rush through the events of the story either. Take your time going through the events and developing the characters. Additionally, be sure to show the readers what's happening using descriptions instead of simply telling them. Don't forget to describe the characters and scenery as well. The story also needs an edit to fix the spelling and grammar errors. The phrasing also needs to be edited so the story is easier to understand. The cover is alright, however, it's hard to see all the elements on it. The title is also hard to read since "two" is at the top, "sides" is at the bottom, and "of a coin" is in the middle. The colors of the text also don't go well together. There are too many fonts on the cover, stick to two-three. Good luck with your story!