WHEN ANGELS CLIP THEIR WINGS
chapter four
. . . .

IT WAS DARK in the dorm when Remus had the courage to finally peel his eyes open, face reality. His absolute last day at Hogwarts without his precious best friend. He swallowed hard, he had tried to push it to the back of his head but it lagged in the air as a constant reminder that he'll never see her beautiful smile ever again. It had been a rough month, that he won't lie. He had lost weight and he was becoming a sickly pale. He knew his friends were concerned but he was more worried about Sirius. The boy was taking it harder than the rest of them. Remus found him the other day punching a Slytherin boy for looking at him weird and it was concluded that not even one of his friends needed to know about that. Sirius was hurting and he didn't want anyone to help.

Sirius was looking out the window when Remus sat up, cigarette in hand, lighter in the other. He also smoked more now, something Remus knew angered Ophelia.

"You're up early," Remus commented, watching as Sirius jumped a little, relaxing when he realized that it was only him. "Bad dream?" He asked.

Sirius scoffed, taking another drag from his cigarette. "Something like that, yeah." He blew it out. "Say Remus, would you hate me if I were to, I don't know, go rogue and join that bloody bastard?"

The boy in question blinked. It was an unusual question, even from Sirius, who liked to ask the most bizzare of questions. But Remus knew the answer, it was clear as day and it was a bit, fat, no. He wouldn't hate Sirius should he turn evil. He was hurting, he was angry and Remus knew he had to find an outlet before his anger would consume him whole.

"I wouldn't," He whispered, watching as the boy in front of him put out his cigarette, burning into his skin and he groaned a little. "Why ask?"

Sirius finally turned to look at at Remus, eyes red and puffy, lips dry and chapped, nose blood red and he cracked a little smile. "I'm just asking Moony."

The question haunted Remus the entire day, he didn't enjoy his last day at school like he thought he would. Even though he took pictures with his classmates, hugged people he'll never see again, gave people his address which he knew they'll never come, he wasn't truly happy. And it wasn't only over the fact that Lia wasn't here to celebrate this once in a lifetime feeling, it was the question Sirius asked him. Even on the train, he didn't talk much with his friends, just staring at Sirius, who was fast asleep in what was usually Ophelia's usual spot. He didn't tell his friends yet, scared that they will judge the Black boy, for his last name was more of a curse.

"I think it's cause of Lia and his brother going missing didn't really help with the case at hand." Lily whispered, looking at the sleeping body of Sirius and Remus swallowed hard. If course, how did he forget about that? Regulus Black went missing about a month ago, maybe about two weeks after the accident.

"I wish I could help him." James sighed, shaking his head silently. "But I can't and I feel so powerless."

"Do you ever think Sirius would join him? Voldemort I mean." Remus suddenly asked, staring down at the chocolate bar he had in his hands. He stuffed it in his pocket, he saved it for Lia. He always did, she always buggered him to no end about being hungry.

James had shook his head, looking at his friend weird. "No, absolutely not, why would you even ask that Moony?"

"Forget I asked." He hummed, closing his eyes and he hoped sleep would engulf him in her long arms.

. . . .

ST MUNGOS WAS always a cold place, even for a werewolf like Remus. But he sucked it up. It had been a month since he graduated, and today had been the day he mustered up the courage to go see his friend. He had always feared the worst, he feared he'd walk in and they'd tell him that she was gone, or that he'd find Peter there. Even though he had forgiven the boy, it didn't mean he had forgotten what he did.

Her room was empty and cold, save for the figure sitting by her bed side, pale fingers laced with hers. Remus didn't say anything, he didn't make his presence known as of yet. He watched as Sirius Black laid his head on the bed, quietly sobbing.

"I haven't seen Wormy since, not that I actually care, I want him to hurt Lia, but not by my hands. That's why I refused Regulus' offer but maybe I should've accepted it, maybe I'd still have my brother. What if he wanted me to save him but I was too selfish to see it?" He sniffed. "Funny how it was always supposed to be like this Lourdes, no matter what the outcome was, I'd always end up alone. No family, no friends, no you." Sirius chuckled coldly. "Please come back, I didn't mean it like that when I said I love you. Nothing has to change, we can be friends, just friends, that's what you prefer, right? Because you loved Peter more than he knew. I'm sorry Lourdes, I'm sorry."

Remus felt like he was intruding but he couldn't will his legs to move. He knew about Sirius' love towards the blonde girl and honestly, Remus liked them together. But fate was gate after all.

"I always thought I was brave, but I had the chance to save Reg and I didn't take it, I ran, like I always did, that's what I'm good at anyway. Running away. Walburga was right. I am a disgrace, I am nothing Lourdes, I don't deserve living, at all." The boy sighed. "I hope you forgive me Lourdes, I hope you forgive me for singing love of my life to you that night, I hope you forgive me for singing put your head on my shoulder the day you fell." He sat up right. "Maybe if I didn't, then maybe ━"

"It's not your fault Padfoot." Remus whispered and the boy jumped.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Awhile."

Sirius swallowed hard before he stood up, letting go of Lia's hand and he placed the sunflower he had in his pocket in her hand. "I'll leave you to it then."

"Please stay, I can't do this alone. Please." Remus whispered and Sirius' jaw clenched but he nodded, taking his seat again.

So the two friends sat together in total silence, staring at the familiar face of their beloved friend hoping she'd wake up. Hope was funny, Remus remembered Barty Crouch Jr say one day when the former had accidentally knocked his books out his hand and he said he hoped he forgave him. Remus saw that now. Hope was a funny word.

. . . .

an. It's probably short and I apologize, I got a random splurge of inspiration and said lemme use it! I like adding more trauma to characters lol, like poor Si, lost a friend, lost his brother, feels left out cause James and Lily are having a son while the love of his life is dying, yeahhhhh...