｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ - ☆｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆
𝘚𝘶𝘧𝘫𝘢𝘯 𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘴 - 𝘍𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘑𝘶𝘭𝘺
｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ - ☆｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆

Aruna had lain awake the rest of the night as she couldn't get the image of her dead husband out of her mind. She had detached herself and her children from the man with two faces. Now she just had to find a way to leave Winterfell.

First a frightened scream and then a pitiful cry resounded through the castle and woke its residents.

The two ladies immediately sat up, startled. Apparently Aruna had fallen asleep for a short time after all.

She immediately pulled her cloak over her nightgown and Edith also got up. "No. You stay here. I will go and see what is the reason for this noise." Aruna said firmly to her daughter and her voice brooked no objections.

The room door opened and Nia stepped into the room. The two women exchanged a knowing look and again Aruna felt sick. Someone had found Brandon.

"Stay with Edith, please." She asked her maid and stepped out of her chambers. She could still hear Edith protesting, but she knew what she was about to see and she didn't want to do that to her daughter.

In the corridors ran exhausted servants and people. Among them, Aruna could spot her sister-in-law Ronja, who did not seem to see her. She quickly followed the young woman and realised where she had left her.

All of a sudden, Aruna was standing in front of Brandon's door again. Just like a few hours ago, she wondered if she should really go in and dare.

But also like before, she knew she couldn't avoid it and opened the door.

There were more people in the room than ever before. All the important people seemed to be present like the Starks and the Maester.

"Aruna don't!" Meyra immediately approached her daughter-in-law when she spotted her and stood protectively in front of her. Wide-eyed, she eyed the elder Stark and tried to look past her, but there were people standing in front of the bed everywhere. "What's going on?"

The Lady of Winterfell's eyes were red and teary and at Aruna's question she began to cry again. Compassionately, Aruna took the older woman in her arms. Meyra had just lost her son and all because of the woman she was holding in her arms.

Instantly, the dark-haired woman felt guilty. She quickly detached herself from the embrace, because she simply could not bear it. With quick steps she went to the bed and pushed past the mourning people.

Then she saw him. Brandon's sight would always remain in her memory and follow her in her nightmares. Now in the light she only saw how pitiful everything looked. Brandon lay sprawled on his bed with his eyes wide open. The white sheets and blankets were stained red by his blood. The woman immediately felt sick again at the sight.

Aruna had to take a deep breath and tried to play the role of the grieving widow as well as possible by instantly starting to cry.

She was not crying for her lost husband. She was crying for their lost future together, which they had both imagined differently. They had both shared so much, gained so much and lost even more. But everything they did and tried had not been enough for each other.

Their loveless marriage had turned violent and it was only a matter of time before one killed the other. Fortunately, there was much that those present did not know. For to the outside world they had always played the perfect couple for years.

"Brandon?" Her voice broke as she addressed him and she didn't know if it was an act anymore. Aruna didn't understand her own feelings anymore and the whole situation was overwhelming her. "What happened here? Rickon?"

She turned her head and looked at the Lord of Winterfell. He seemed to be the only one who seemed to realise the situation properly and was trying to keep a clear head. "A maid found him and came for us." He explained, looking to the ground almost as if he couldn't bear to look at his daughter-in-law.

"Why didn't anyone let me know?" she asked indignantly, looking at everyone in the room. She quickly recollected herself and reminded herself of her role. She could not allow herself to be exposed now. Like a showgirl, she started to cry and looked at Brandon again, though the sight of him made her nauseous. "You can do something for him, can't you, Maester?" she asked in good faith and a pained sound escaped Meyra at her question.

"He's gone, my lady. I'm sorry." Compassionately, he put his hand on Aruna's shoulder for a moment and then handed her a piece of paper. "This was lying beside him, Lady Stark." Questioningly, she took the letter and immediately recognised it. Even though she knew what it said, she read it again and then covered her mouth with her hand in fright.

Just like last night, after she had killed him.

The memory gave her goosebumps and she had to get up immediately to put distance between herself and the corpse of the Heir of Winterfell. She deliberately left the letter on the bed. Never again did she want to read those lying words from the man with two faces.

"Oh Aruna!" Finley wrapped his arms around the woman and rested his head on her shoulder. The younger man had never been good at dealing with emotions and he was indeed the only one who didn't cry, but it touched Aruna deeply that he took her in his arms.

Her guilty conscience continued to grow.

"How am I going to tell the children?" She asked the question of all questions to those present, but much more to herself. This question and the image of the corpse had kept her awake all night.

~~~

Winterfell was in mourning for its heir. A funeral ceremony was held just a few days later and the news of Brandon's death spread quickly. It wasn't long before Aruna and the Starks received condolences and small gifts.

Scoffing, Aruna had thrown it all away because even if she had been in genuine grief then these gifts would not make her feel any better.

The worst part was telling her children about Brandon's death. Cassian was still far too young to understand it all, but he often looked for his father. Edith's reaction had surprised Aruna the most. The girl had taken her mother in her arms and comforted her, although it should have been the other way around. Edith, surprisingly, did not cry and took it as if Aruna had told her that there would only be bread for dinner tonight.

Brandon and Edith had never had a good connection, but still the girl had grown up with him and was under the belief he was her father.

As soon as everyone had half realised and accepted the death, the council sat down every day to discuss the new succession. The current Lord Rickon was tired and exhausted and he was far from overcoming the loss of another son. But no one gave him time to grieve. He was needed as a lord now.

On the issue of heirship, Aruna tried to be there as often as she could, even if the council didn't like it. After the sudden death of her husband, only her son was the next heir to Winterfell and Aruna tried everything in her power to prevent that.

It was Cassian's birthright, but it was the last thing she wanted for her son. If she didn't fight, then they would immediately train Cassian to be the new heir and Aruna could never leave Winterfell because she couldn't leave any of her children behind and Aruna knew that her son would eventually hate her for it.

Today had been another meeting and Aruna was clearly not thrilled. This was not how she had imagined it all, in her fantasies she had left for Dragonstone immediately and would not discuss her son's future.

"Rickon, my son is still far too young. You all can't ask that." She repeated over and over for days. She hoped that someday she would be able to wrap her father-in-law around her finger again, as usual, but Rickon listened far too much to his advisors. "Finley is your only son now. You should name him as the next Lord of Winterfell. Yeah, or Ronja!"

The tall man looked incredulously at the small woman as she waved her wine cup in her hand and then drank from it. She had drunk far too much in the last few weeks. "Ronja is worthy, but she is not allowed. Finley is not worthy, but he is allowed." He muttered to himself, stroking his beard. "And Cassian is still a toddler."

"Don't you think Finley would be honoured? The new job would do his confidence good." Aruna kept trying to convince him, but he didn't seem to be listening to her at all. They both sat at the long table for the meetings and were alone, she knew she could only convince him if no one else was there.

"Rickon now please listen to me and take me seriously!" she demanded with conviction, putting down her wine cup. "I lost Brandon too and now I have to raise my children alone. Cassian has so much to deal with right now and I'm sure the new role would overwhelm him." Half truth, half lie. Aruna's heart ached at her next words, but she didn't know how else to convince the lord. "I don't want him to end up like his father someday."

Aruna's last sentence was her absolute wild card and the fake tears in her eyes softened Rickon's heart and he finally looked at the woman. It was obvious he was thinking about her words. Clearly she had struck a nerve in the old man.

"All right. I'll think about it some more and consult." He replied to her and left the room. Aruna could only roll her eyes and poured herself another cup of wine.

She finally wanted to get out of here.

~~~

It took what felt like an eternity and many conversations with the lord before he finally decided on a successor. Rickon had appointed his youngest and last son as the new heir of Winterfell in a ceremony.

Aruna had been more than happy about it and hoped very much that Cassian would eventually be able to forgive her for it when he learned of his mother's actions.

She would do anything to make sure he never found out.

She also hoped that Finley would quickly settle into his new role.

Cautiously, after the announcement, she told the Starks that she wanted to leave Winterfell. Renewed grief had filled the room, then anger and an argument.

The young woman had learned a lot in the last few years and had become more confident, but with everything she had done in the last few weeks, she did not recognise herself anymore. It had been a long time since she had been the helpless woman from Highgarden who had travelled first to King's Landing and then to Winterfell.

"You must understand that every corner and every face reminds me of Brandon here, and I can bear it not longer. I am down and out of strength. I need my family and the sun. My children deserve a good mother who can take care of them and not die of grief herself if she continues to stay here." She had said such things and much more to make her point.

It was hard to deal with a Stark and with so many Starks around, Aruna had to use all her strength and press the tear button several times.

Especially Ronja and Finley were against the departure of the widow and her two children, whereas Lord Rickon was undecided and his wife was overwhelmed. All the Starks were still in deepest mourning weeks after Brandon's funeral ceremony and were no longer the same person they used to be.

The deceased had mainly shown his good side to the outside world and always pretended to be loving. But to his wife and children he was not.

Aruna would have liked to know what had made him change so much. Was it because of the problems regarding the desire to have children? Had she done something wrong? She didn't know and wasn't really aware of any guilt, and she would probably never know the truth.

Brandon simply had two faces.

In the end, she convinced the Starks with various fake letters. She didn't feel good about this new lie, but she had already taken a son from Winterfell. What could be worse?

Especially since by now she was getting the feeling that the residents suspected something, and the longer she stayed, the worse her stomach ache became about it. They looked at Aruna, but much more they looked down on her, even though she appeared in public like a real grieving widow. The risk of the truth coming out was dangerous.

To protect her children, she quickly packed everything important with Nia. Her three companions, who had been by her side since King's Landing, had also become good friends and immediately stood by her lady and also prepared for a departure.

After the endless weeks, everything happened very quickly.

The southerners were given neither a proper farewell nor were they looked after. Aruna had always thought the people would like her here, but after Brandon's death she realised that they had only liked her because of him. The northerners were still sceptical of her after all these years. Rightfully so.

Aruna had been wrong about the people here, but the people had been wrong about the young woman too.

~~~

Never before in her life had she been to Dragonstone. She had only ever read about it or Rhaenyra had dreamily told her about this place. In the past Aruna had always imagined visiting this place and now it was finally time and it was so different and yet so much the same as she had imagined.

She had imagined marrying Daemon a few years ago and raising her children here with him and now that dream would actually come true! For the born Tyrell, everything was still quite unreal.

The travellers could already see and hear the dragons flying over the castle from afar. Fascinated, they all looked up into the sky with a smile on their lips. Everyone was confident and had hope for a better future this time.

Dragonstone was not too far from Driftmark, but the journey here had taken weeks again. Weeks that were wasted in Aruna's eyes, as well as the ones before.

Brandon had been dead for two months and she was only now returning to her beloved. They hadn't seen each other in almost four months and Aruna was very afraid of the reunion. She worried a lot about what Daemon would think about her now and at the same time she was afraid that he didn't want her anymore.

She didn't know what she would do then.

"You're finally here!" The welcome at Dragonstone was the complete opposite of the farewell at Winterfell. The travellers were welcomed with open arms as they stepped off the ship. Laenor had been the first to be at Aruna's side.

And the moment Laenor put his arms around her, a switch flipped in Aruna at the same time. She had tried to suppress her emotions for so long, she had to pretend and lie for so long and she had always tried to suppress her bad actions.

Then she collapsed in the arms of her closest friend. Helplessly she clung to the man who stroked her back comfortingly. It was almost like at Laena's death when Aruna had comforted Laenor.

Even though she had not gotten along with Brandon towards the end of their marriage and he had mistreated her, her heart ached at the thought of his passing. It was as if a piece of herself had died that night.

For a long time she had been plagued by the thought that she was a bad mother. Brandon had not only been her husband, but also the father of her son Cassian. She had taken his father from him, he had no right to his birthright and heritage now because of her, nor would he continue to grow up in Winterfell or ever see it again. Luckily for her, Cassian was still too young and so she had a few more years before her son would judge her.

"All is well." The man whispered in her ear and released the embrace to look at his old friend. Even though she was far away and no longer had to pretend, she still wore the black mourning clothes and the widow's veil. "You are here. You are all here now."

"Laenor-"

"Shh!" he interrupted her immediately, smiling at her encouragingly. "You should come in, warm up and recover from the long journey first, then we'll have plenty of time to talk."

Aruna nodded, only now noticing who else was present. Rhaenyra was standing a little distance away with her three sons, next to her was Rhaena and behind her was her father and Edith. She had not even noticed that her first-born had joined him.

Attentively, Daemon had watched Aruna's collapse and remained silent. Their eyes met and, exhausted, she went up to him and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Silently, the two stood facing each other. There was so much they wanted to say, but not a word left their lips.

Slowly Daemon took a step closer and reached for her black veil to open it. Gently he stroked her cheeks and at last he smiled, finally giving her a response. "Welcome home, my Lady."

***

A little filler chapter with little time jumps. It had to be to get the story going and I'm telling you carefully now, that this story will come to an end soon though. But only book 1! I'm already planning the 2nd book and can't wait to share my ideas with you!