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❛ ᴡᴀsᴛᴇʟᴀɴᴅs ᴏғ ᴛɪᴍᴇ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴏᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ ꒱


❝ I'M NOT AFRAID ❞

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Five Hargreeves has never claimed to be a people person. Even growing up surrounded by six other kids, he preferred to lock himself in his room and work on equations than actually interact with them aside from what was mandatory. That didn't mean he didn't care for them— because he did, at least where Six and Seven were concerned— he just liked his space and it was in this space that he discovered his potential for time travel.

When he'd first broached the subject with his father he'd been promptly shut down which had lead to one of their many quarrels and another punishment. That was not enough— never enough— to deter him from pursuing something on his own, though. He was smart enough to figure it out without help. The boy also made sure word of it never got out to his siblings; most wouldn't care and think that he was just rubbing it in like the cocky way he usually did but Six would give him worried, warning glances and Seven would try to talk him out of it in her own shy, quiet way.

It was best to keep this to himself.

He'd been practicing his spacial jumps for years now and had advanced in leaps and bounds— literally. While he was still limited to short distances, he could do more at once than he ever had before and they were pin-point accurate (he could actually land on the head of a pin if he felt like doing something so ridiculous. He didn't.) Time travel was just another aspect of his powers, as linear as his jumps were and as straight forward as any equation usually was for him. He'd done the math and it was ninety-nine-point-nine-nine percent possible that he would be successful; the point-oh-one was an unnecessary margin of error that he allowed himself just in case. Every mathematician had their occasional inaccuracies.

Five had made sure to repeat the equations over and over, too, to double and triple check his work. Now, he felt ready to present the subject again with evidence that it could be done. Distantly, he heard the robotic woman they called mother ring the bell, a tradition that signaled their meal was ready. Setting down his chalk, the boy left the room and met his siblings at the stairs, completely silent apart from their footsteps approaching the table. The recording their father liked to listen to, Herr Carlson, was already playing as they stood by their seats waiting for the man himself to arrive.

They sat in number order beginning with Reginald's seat, with Number One being on the left, Two on the right and so on until the last three: Five was on the left, Six was across from him and Seven at the head.

"Sit!" their father barked and the children followed the command without delay as they pulled out their chairs almost in sync before they sat down.

Now that the speaking part of the meal was over, they turned their attention to the various tasks that they did at the table while eating as the recording continuously played over the sounds of their activities. Five clenched his teeth slightly at the irritating repetitiveness of it all and stared down the table at the man he called his father, watching him take a drink from his cup.

Knowing he wouldn't get the man's attention if he tried talking, the boy gripped the handle of his knife and stabbed it directly into the table.

"Number Five?"

"I have a question," he said coolly.

"Knowledge is an admirable goal but you know the rules. No talking during meal times," Reginald answered, not even sparing a glance up from his plate, "you are interrupting Herr Carlson."

Irritation prickled along his spine and the boy dropped the utensil roughly against his plate, "I want to time travel."

"No."

"But I'm ready," he responded flatly, "I've been practicing my spacial jumps just like you said," he stood and demonstrated, feeling a flicker of pride when he landed right by the man's elbow.

"See?"

"A spacial jump is trivial compared to the unknowns of time travel," he answered, not deigning to look at him, "one is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn."

Five forced himself not to snarl at his father's terrible explanation. He really hated riddles. Instead, he let out a sharp breath, "well, I don't get it."

"Hence the reason you're not ready," the man commented, as if that was all the answer that was needed. He took another sip from his glass.

Five accidentally looked down the table to where Six and Seven sat, knowing that this would be a surprise to them. He rolled his eyes internally at Seven's predictable reaction as she shook her head at him, looking slightly fearful. He turned back to his father, "I'm not afraid."

"Fear isn't the issue. The effects it might have on your body, even on your mind are far too unpredictable," he threw his own utensils down and finally looked at the boy, "now, I forbid you to talk about this anymore."

The boy's lips curled into a sneer at the thought of someone trying to control his powers when who knew them better than him? Reginald may be their mentor but what did he know about the extent of their abilities? He turned on his heel and stalked away, ignoring his father's shouts. He picked up speed as he left the dining room, running, running, running out the door and on to the street.

The fresh breeze hit his face and spurred him on after the drafty, stale air of the place he called home. Preparing himself for the first jump, he mentally checked his calculations and tore a hole through time.

Around him, the scene changed. The darkness of the evening was replaced by bright sunlight to show a warm, sunny spring. He scoffed, "not ready my ass."

Fueled by his success, he jumped again and his heart leapt as the scene changed to winter; the previously open buildings changed as they lost business. Adrenaline pumped through him and he wondered exactly how far into the future he could go. What would he see? Predictions from Six's science fiction books were unlikely but he could still come back and tell his brother all about the future.

He leapt again and blue light shone around him as he created his third portal. The boy suddenly stilled as he watched as the familiar sights around him turned to ash and dust stretching as far as the eye could see.

Something akin to terror rose within him. This wasn't right. How could it be when the world had been so vibrant around him seconds before?

He forced his legs to move until he was racing along the dirt path that stretched on for miles. The sky was a dark, ashy gray that gave away neither time nor date and the falling particles burned his lungs when he breathed, which caused his breath to shorten rapidly and gasp in his chest. Five froze outside the familiar building, though all of its grandeur was now rubble and fire as he stared up at what was once his home. No. What about his siblings? His family?

"Vanya!" he cried out, forcing himself to be heard over the crackling fire, "Ben! Dad! Anyone!"

No answer came in the nearly silent world despite him looking around wildly for someone, anyone living. He could go back. The answer came to him suddenly on its own accord. Hope surged in his chest as he forced his hands into fists and blue shone around them. He pushed against the fabric of time as he tried to calculate a way out. Nothing.

"Come on!" he pleaded. He didn't want to be stuck in this burning hell!

"Shit," was his next word as his powers failed, sucking away the sudden hope.

His hands dropped and he stared around at the landscape, as desolate as he felt. How was he going to get back? He fell to his knees in front of the remains of his home— a home that had been whole and filled with life minutes before.

✧✧✧

Five wasn't sure how long it had been when he forced himself to pull away. Night would be coming soon and there were other survival things that needed to be done. How had their father known how to prepare them for this?

The thought crossed his mind as he stood and his eyes caught sight of a still-standing newspaper holder. He ran over to it and opened the broken glass front to pull out one of the papers. April 1, 2019 read the date and the headline was one that would be burned into his memory even after years of living in the apocalypse.

Then, he saw the first bodies lying in the rubble. The hand of a man was sticking out of a pile, clearly clutching at something. Five went over to it and pried the glass orb out of the stiff, cold fingers. He wiped off the red, wet residue on the face of it to reveal a dark brown iris. It was a glass eye.

Still holding it, he followed the arm to a blonde-haired man with a cut next to his eye. Something niggled at the back of his head but he pushed it away. No, it couldn't be. His siblings were still alive. Of course they were.

He ran to the next pile where a dark-haired man and dark-skinned woman were covered in rubble; both had their eyes closed and were covered thickly in the falling ash. His feet skittered in the loose blocks but he made his way towards them before he placed his hands on their shoulders to shake them roughly. Please, he thought desperately, please be alive. Just be asleep.

It was a foolish, naïve thought but he couldn't push it away.

Farther on, another man with a fur-trimmed coat was lying facedown in the rubble with his eyes closed just like the others. Five's breath caught in his throat as he stared at the damning tattoo on the man's arm: an umbrella inscribed in a circle. The same one all of the Hargreeves children had except Seven.

There was too much evidence to deny the terrible conclusion that formed in his mind.

✧✧✧

Five forced the prickling tears at the back of his eyes away. He'd never been a crier; Reginald had beat that out of them at an early age. Still, he hadn't even recognized his siblings until he'd seen the tattoos that bound them together. Then, he'd added rocks on top of their partially-buried bodies as a makeshift grave. That had been when he'd almost cried, when the last possible sight of his siblings' faces had finally been covered. They weren't really his siblings, though, because he didn't know them in this timeline. He knew their fifteen-year-old versions back in 2004. This shouldn't matter to him.

(It did.)

The boy tilted his head up and stared into the dark sky until his eyes burned for a different reason. Water was going to become a precious commodity; he shouldn't waste what hydration he had on tears.

Again, he pulled himself away as he told himself that it was useless to linger over the dead. He couldn't help those siblings. (But oh, how he wanted to.) They were somebody else's family. His were still alive in the past, blissfully unaware of the fate that awaited them. There was still something he could do about that.

Five turned and walked away, steeling himself to face this strange new hell.

✧✧✧

He wasn't sure what was worse. The dusty, dark days or darker nights. It was impossible to tell how much time had passed. There was no sound except for howling wind, the crackling of fire and the creak of the wagon which was piled with necessary items like food cans and a supply of water that he'd found, his best prize.

By now, he'd covered himself entirely to keep the ash from burning his skin, a mask over his face to help his breathing and goggles to protect his eyes. These items were all found by scavenging around the city. He'd left the familiar block of the Academy behind and had begun searching in other buildings. These were more family-styled homes and he occasionally came across the bodies of little kids or parents which caused him to quickly turn away before the little food he'd eaten made its reappearance.

There was still no one who seemed to have escaped whatever disaster had ended the world. He'd been on his own for seemingly days now with not another living soul in sight— just stinking, dead bodies partially or fully covered by rubble. The boy tried not to think about them too much. It wasn't that they disgusted him— well, the adults didn't— but living in the world of the dead while he was still living was not a thought that sat comfortably in his mind.

Rubble shifted haphazardly under his hands as he searched for food, the cleared space revealing the short, dark hair of a woman. He moved to another spot immediately and continued his search. Then, he froze.

Unless his ears were tricking him, there was a tinny bang, bang, bang coming from somewhere. The hits were too evenly spaced to be anything but purposeful. The hope that he'd thought had died suddenly resurged full force and he scrabbled over to the sound, "hello?"

His voice was hoarse and uncomfortably loud. The banging continued as he repeated the question, "hello? Is anyone there?" he tried again.

There was no answer except for the continuous hitting sound. He shifted the rubble around on top of where he thought it was coming from until a dark crack appeared between the broken pieces, "hello? Can you hear me?"

The sound was definitely louder now and he made an effort to make the hole bigger. His muscles tensed as he prepared for a maybe not-so-friendly encounter. Then, it was large enough to see inside. The pale, dirty face of a girl looked up at him as her eyes squeezed tightly shut against the apparent brightness. How long had she been trapped under there? Days? Weeks? It was clearly awhile from how thin her face looked.

Five wasn't even sure if she was real and that maybe he was just imagining the whole thing. He couldn't help the disbelief that entered his tone as he asked, "what the hell?"

That wasn't the best response to seeing the first human— alive— that he'd seen in however much time it had been but like he'd said: he wasn't a people-person. The girl didn't respond and her eyes were still screwed up in a way that made her face look scrunched.

"Here, grab my hand. I'll help you up," that was better, he decided, and extended said hand to the girl.

After realizing she couldn't see it, he grasped her hand himself and startled at how small and bony it seemed. He pulled her out easily and wasn't surprised to see that the rest of her matched the gaunt face and frail hand.

"Open your eyes," he tried, "slowly. How long have you been down there?"

The girl shook her head, most likely answering both questions. He sighed and turned, "hold on a second, I'll get something to help."

Five returned to his wagon before she could protest and shifted around in his items, pleased when he found another pair of goggles. Stumbling slightly back to her, he placed them in her hand, "here, they're not sunglasses but they should be better than nothing."

He watched as she put them on, struggling slightly with the strap until it was secure. Her face relaxed and her eyes opened cautiously. Five tried not to suck in a startled breath. Her pupils were so large only a thin, blue line could be seen around them. It was kind of creepy if he was being honest. Immediately, she shut her eyes again. He didn't blame her.

"What's your name?" the boy tried. He'd never been one for small talk but he knew that at a time like this, it was important.

The girl opened her mouth to answer but no sound came out. She shook her head.

He let out an irritated huff, "fine, then is this your house?"

She nodded to confirm that yes, it was.

"Are there any supplies in your basement?"

Another nod.

"Is there anything I need to know before going down there?"

Again, she nodded, then paused, seemingly trying to get her words to work. When they didn't, she made an open-close motion.

"Now isn't the time for charades." He wanted to tack on moron or some similar insult but he forced himself not to. She wasn't one of his siblings.

The girl did the motion again and held her cupped hands up to her face, as if she were reading.

"A book, you want me to get a book," the disbelief was back.

When she nodded vigorously, he sighed, "fine. Where is it?"

The question made her still as she was uncertain of how to act out the location. Then, she drew a flat, rectangular shape in the air and two smaller ones on top of it. He really hated riddles.

"I don't get it," he grumbled, frustrated, "just tell me they're easy to find."

The girl nodded again. "Fine," he decided, "I'll get your stupid books. Wait here."

The darkness didn't bother him as he descended into the basement. Reginald would never let his adoptive experiments be afraid of something so silly as pitch-blackness. Then, Five's foot hit something on the bottom step that almost made him loose his balance, "shit!" he cursed before he righted himself.

The boy bent down and felt for the obstacle, startling at the waxy feel of a candle. Well, maybe she's not a complete moron, he allowed. He felt around for matches and soon a small, golden glow lit up the dark space. He was surprised to find the basement completely intact. Then he immediately wrinkled his nose. It stank like hell.

After several minutes of searching, he found the partitioned food in the back storeroom, the paint cans with broken lids and the tools, which he rooted through to find the most useful ones. He was especially pleased when he found a rope. Then, he turned to make his way back to the surface only to pause at the bottom of the staircase. Her stupid books.

Five remembered seeing a desk at the edge of the circle of light so that's what he went to find. On the surface sat three books: a used notebook and two published authors. He added those to the steadily-growing pile and clambered out messily as he fought to keep his balance as things spilled out of his hands.

Irritation pricked at him when he saw the girl was still standing, unmoving and eyes closed, right where he'd left her. Scratch that earlier thought, he grumbled, she is a complete moron.

After placing the things in the wagon, he made his way back over to her.

"Here," he said as he stuffed the requested items into her arms.

Her facial muscles twitched into what was probably her first smile in days— a sign of gratitude, he knew. He brushed it off, "you better open your eyes, we'll be moving."

She shook her head and his annoyance grew, "well, I'm not guiding you the whole way. There's too much searching to be done and night will be here soon. You either open your eyes or I'm leaving you here."

He wouldn't, he knew. If she was the last human left alive he didn't want to lose his only source of humanity.

Luckily, that caused her to open her eyes even as her face screwed up in pain. He pursed his lips in displeasure and studied her outfit, "the mask will help but you have to cover up. The ash burns and I don't have any way of healing you if you get hurt."

She seemed to be understanding about that and after some difficult maneuvering— and several close calls where he'd had to catch her— they made it to the wagon where he began handing her the extra clothing he'd found. Once she was set up appropriately, he picked up the handle of the almost-full wagon. The girl tapped him on the shoulder.

"What?" he asked shortly.

She handed him the spiral-bound notebook which was opened to the first page. On it, in slightly loopy, readable handwriting was the opening sentence: My name is Lola Gimbel and I was born August 1st, 2004.