▌𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐞 ━︎━︎ 𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐬 ▌

━︎━︎━︎━︎𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 to the compound was silent. Liliya stared blankly at the floor, her face void of any emotion. On the inside her head was screaming at her. Her brain was trying to process what had happened. It hadn't taken them long to find the other Murder House and the kids were all safe and with the right authorities, but what had really gotten her was Karine showing up insistent on killing her. Except it wasn't her and Liliya knew it. When she heard the name HYDRA, chills had went through her entire body. She knew what HYDRA was capable of, having heard the stories from both Dr. Von and Steve himself, but somehow she hadn't expected this.

     Natasha glanced at Steve from the co-pilot's seat. "Let me steer. Go talk to her."

     Steve looked at her and Natasha nodded her head. When she had control he stood up and walked to the back of jet, taking a seat beside his girlfriend unsure of what to do or say. He didn't want to overstep her boundaries, but he had a feeling if she didn't talk about it she was going to shut down and he didn't want that. "Hey, how are you holding up?"

     Liliya blinked, having not realized Steve had walked over to her. "I'm. . . confused."

     Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

     Liliya furrowed her brows as she replayed the whole thing in her head. "She said hail HYDRA." Steve froze. "HYDRA got its claws in her, and in order for her to have even made it to them the Murder House would've had to given her over which makes me think they were working with HYDRA this whole time. And if that's true then that means. . ." she swallowed, ". . . that means I used to work for HYDRA."

     She shook her head. "But I don't think she was in control of her own actions." She turned her head to look at Steve who instantly met her eyes. "I mean, what if they controlled her like they did Bucky. You didn't see the look on her face, Steve. Her eyes. . . they seemed so heartbroken. It was like she didn't want to do it. I killed her again when I could have saved her."

     Steve shook his head, his voice soft. "You did what you had to do." He reached forwards and grabbed her hands. "Doll, she wasn't going to stop until you were dead. And I know that she meant the world to you, but I'm glad it was her instead of you. I don't think I could have lived with myself if I had gotten there too late and found you. I'm sorry that you had to do that again."

     Liliya felt tears crawl to her eyes. "Is this what it felt like for you when you found out Bucky was alive? Because this sucks."

     "Is there anything I can do?" Steve asked.

     Liliya shook her head. "Just let me grieve." Steve nodded before pulling her into his side. Liliya clung onto him and he wrapped his arms around her body, keeping her close. She felt secure in his arms. She felt safe. And that feeling made her break down and begin sobbing into his chest. It was out of character for her, Steve had yet to see her cry like this but all he did was hold her closer, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head and letting her cry because he knew she needed this.

     They made it back to the compound and knowing she needed a moment to herself, Steve let Liliya walk away. A sigh fell from his lips and he turned his head when Natasha walked up to him. She crossed her arms over her chest. "She'll be okay, Steve."

     "She just killed the person she saw as her sister, Natasha."

     "She's also an assassin." Natasha noted. "I'm not saying it's healthy, but her training will end up kicking in and she'll compartmentalize and she'll be okay because she's always had no choice but to be okay. She'll heal from this."

     "But she's allowed to not be okay." Steve argued.

      "It's instinct, Steve. You can't control instinct."

     Steve sighed, placing his hands on his hips. "What do I do here, Nat?"

     "Give her time. Let her cope. And when she's ready for you, she'll come find you." A small smile pulled on her lips. "That girl has grown attached to you. I don't think she'd be able to shut you out even if she wanted to." She placed a hand on his shoulder before walking away.

     That night Steve sat in his room, flipping through a book and stopping when there was a soft knock on his door. He looked up before placing his book to the side and standing, making his way to the door and pulling it open. "Liliya," he breathed.

     "Can I come in?" She softly asked. Steve instantly stepped to the side, motioning her to come in. She walked in and took a seat on the couch. Steve closed the door and walked over to her, taking a seat beside her.

     "How are you?" He carefully asked.

     Liliya nodded. "I'm okay. What happened was. . . it wasn't her. A twisted part of me makes me think it was okay because it wasn't really her. Does that make me a bad person?"

     Steve shook his head. "No. I don't think that makes you a bad person. She was your friend. If she was being controlled by HYDRA, then it wasn't her." He gently grabbed her hand, reiterating his earlier point. "She was going to kill you either way, Lils. You didn't have a choice."

     Tears coated her eyes as she looked at him. "Today sucked. It really sucked."

     Steve nodded. "I know." A soft sigh fell from his lips. "This job. . . it never gets any easier. There are some days that'll be good, and then there's days like this. We save everyone that we can, but sometime there are people that we can't save or people that don't want to be saved."

     "How do you cope with it all?" Liliya soft asked, her voice cracking.

     "You keep fighting for what's right. Because we have to keep going. Time doesn't stop. I don't want to tell you how to handle your own feelings, but you need to allow yourself to grieve for a day or two and then keep going. That's what we all do. We just keep going."

     "That sounds like a hard way to live." Liliya whispered.

     Steve nodded. "It can be." Liliya leaned into his side and Steve wrapped his arm around her pulling her close. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head and they stayed like that until they both ended up falling asleep.