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"DON'T YOU TRUST ME?"

Evan had this pleading look in his eyes—one that I doubted immediately-but, I chose to listen to him because he was the only one who really looked out for me when the world turned it's back against me. He was two years older than me, but he was my best friend.

I nodded and allowed him to lead the way into the crazy party hosted by one of the famous football players in school. He always had this strong, confident walk; one that was an epitome of effortlessness.

My mom had warned about parties but for some reasons I didn't care-maybe because my fifteen year old self trusted him, he was a great friend. Or so I had thought.

Once we stepped into the party, the floor thrummed below my feet. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and forced a smile because parties never appealed to me. We had gotten comfortable in the party-except me though-and I noticed that anytime some of the boys looked me over, Evan became really protective. And whilst Evan stayed with me, he had excused himself to get us drinks. I didn't want him to go because I didn't know anyone else but he promised to be back.

He did come back. He handed me my drink and sat down besides me. I was glad he knew I didn't drink, and had gotten me a glass of orange juice. I gulped down my drink, and felt this trail of coolness slide down my throat. And as the last bit of juice slipped down my throat, I was hit with a pang of dizziness.

Evan noticed. "Are you okay?"

I wasn't okay. I couldn't clearly focus on my surrounding, and my head felt like it was under water-it couldn't be the effect of the juice. "Yeah, just a little bit dizzy."

"I think you need rest, I'll take you to the guest room."

"No, no, I want to go home." I attempted to stand on my feet but I ended up back on the couch.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. Trust me."

Those syllables came out so smoothly, and when I looked up, he was standing in front of me with his hands outstretched. I took it and he helped me up.

Somewhere along the line when he led me to the guest room, I lost consciousness.

I never really knew what had happened that night until my Mom dropped the big bomb-Evan tried to take advantage of me. All I wanted was to kill him at that very instant. I was betrayed, Mom was disappointed, and Dad almost killed me. I never got to find out about the stranger that had saved me that night but I knew one thing for sure. . .

I'll never attend any party again and certainly keep my distance with guys.

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I WAS IN THE GYM when the usual daily dose of erratic breathing only training in the gym had to offer started to increase, and when I was on my own, punching the bag, Valen had his palm flattened out in front of me. "Fight me."

It was another day of waking up to the sound of heart thudding against my chest, memories hanging loose at the back of my mind and it wasn't like other days. at all. It wasn't expected at all when Valen asked me to fight him, even though he did ask me to hit him sometimes. By now, I would've probably thought I misheard him, hands hugged by my boxing gloves and going back to business with the bag.

I could've continued that way, and just pretend I didn't hear him—but he was serious when he spoke again. "Just fucking fight me."

My first reaction was to suddenly stop punching, and then drop my gaze to him. "Are you sure?"

My heart was squirming with uneasiness. I was going to fight Valen.

"Yeah, what damage can you possibly do?"

I folded my hands curtly, eyes glaring. "I'm not like other girls you know, I can actually cause you more damage than your opponents ever thought of."

"Is that a challenge?" he asked, his face glowing with amusement. It was at that time that coyness was starting to slip past his lips.

Yes, that's a challenge. You are an egocentric idiot.

"Of course, I'm certain that I can take the boxer down." Is pretty much what I ended up saying, face caked up in a little smirk.

"You're confident." he grinned.

I shrugged when he didn't say anything more, walking towards the end of the ring to grab my water. His eyes-when I caught him from the corner of my eye-was trained on me as I drank, before stepping back in front of him.

"You ready?"

With a confident smirk, and glistening eyes, I spoke, "Born ready."

And when he let out a boisterous laugh, I reached up and smacked his head. "Don't mess with me."

"Okay, let's see what you've got."

I rolled my eyes at him, then got into my stance, putting all of my weight on my dominant leg. I lifted my gloved hands in front of me, and with determination, watched his every move.

And when he threw a right hook towards me, I ducked under it so effortlessly, and sent my fist in his ribs. Every hit he sent me, I wasted no time in retaliating. My breath became heavy as I sent forceful strikes to his toned body, even when I didn't mean to. It was the only way I punch-with anger.

Sweat trailed down my forehead, strands of hair sticking to my face, and the sound of my heart beating resonated in my ears. Everytime I threw a punch Valen groaned, and I'm sure he was getting bruised. I wanted to stop so badly-but, I couldn't.

Something inside of me fueled, burning and burning inside my chest, and when I tried hitting him again, he grabbed my arm and in a swift yet gentle motion, pulled me into his chest, and his forearm wrapped loosely around my neck. And with pounding heart, and zig-zag breathing, I tensed under his touch.

Silence dominated the area around us when neither of us spoke a word, the only sound being the sound of his heartbeat moving rhythmically with mine.

"Frosty?"

I breathed. "Yeah?"

He rested his chin on my head, and hummed. "Is there something wrong?"

His voice was calming, and his syllables were caressing. And when my elbow accidentally brushed his ribs, he hissed. I hated myself for being that way and for hurting him. Stupid, I mentally cursed myself, stop hurting those close to you.

"I'm so sorry," my head fell, "I didn't mean to hurt you at all. It's just. . . I don't know what came over me."

"I know you didn't mean to, frosty," his voice came out gently, his chest vibrating against my back, "But, from what I've observed during the last few days, you are angry when punching the bag that you punch with so much force."

I sighed. My mind was a chaos no one-including myself-could decipher, and maybe that was the reason I was suddenly going insane. My voice fell just above a whisper, "It's. . . the only way I believe I could actually hurt someone, sorry."

Quite frankly, it wasn't a complete lie.

"Who do you want to hurt?"

I knew damn well I was walking on thin ice, and Valen wasn't one to let go. "Anyone who hurts me physically or. . . emotionally."

His arm left my neck and went around my waist to hold me in place. And whilst I let my eyes fall shut to catch up on my breathing, I felt his fingers on my face like a gentle caress, tucking few strands of hair behind my ear. "So you've been hurt emotionally before?"

I couldn't help it when his fingers lingered on my neck, the heat sending my heart on a wild race in my chest. And when I didn't respond, he turned me around to face him, his arm loosely wrapped around my waist.

The way my breath hitched at the back of my throat when his warm hand rested on my chin, bringing my face up so my eyes could meet his cannot be explained. And when my eyes met with his, I melted right away.

"You've been hurt."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. And when I tried looking away, he prevented me from doing that. His thumb brushed against my jawline, and the sparks he ignited when he touched my skin spread throughout my body.

"I don't want to talk about this." I had manage to grit my teeth.

The last thing I wanted was to talk about it even though it meant being mean to Valen who was only wanting to help me. The problem was me, it had always been me. Who knows, I could've been the reason for the distraught in my life-and it was really no wonder a lot of people hated my guts. My mind screamed for me to be a little bit nicer, and so instead of pushing him away, I dropped my gaze.

He bent his head down, and rested his forehead against mine, his hand still on my skin. "It's okay."

I didn't say anything. The moment was painfully comforting-a moment where he was close to me, and it was so still that all I could feel was our heartbeats syncing up. And when my eyes found his dusky ones, they had fallen on my lips, and my heart skipped a beat.

I didn't want what was going to happen next, and so, I spoke stiffly, "What are you doing?"

His eyes left my lips, and he immediately pulled back—and I certainly couldn't deny that I missed the warmth he sent through my body. I watched him rub the back of his neck awkwardly as silence dominated the area around us again, and I knew it was anything far from peaceful-it was awkward.

He sighed.

"We should. . .get going," a pause, "We have class now you know."

I almost forgot in all honesty.

He coughed, head falling to a side. As he spoke, he didn't bother sparing me a glance. "You know you hate missing classes."

I frowned—no shit, he couldn't even look me in the eyes. When I looked over to him, his head was turned, gaze perched on me. His hair was messy in a hot way, his hands running through them. Then, when I wanted to apologize, he picked up his bag, and motioned for me to do same.

My heart dropped, it really did, but nevertheless, I grabbed my bag and followed him out of the gym. Dumbass is what I would've called myself for putting him in that situation but it wasn't enough. I was the biggest fool.

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IN LESS THAN THIRTY MINUTES, my lecture was to start, and whilst I took stagnant steps down the school campus, my brain raced a thousand miles per hour. I didn't know why I was feeling bad, and anxiety was threading itself into my nervous system, spreading like poisonous venom. I was worried—worried I had hurt him, and I was wondering what was going on in his mind since neither of us had spoken a word.

I heard a chuckle, and my head instantly whipped backwards, to where he stood with his phone placed on his ear. I was waiting for him, so we could head to class together. Locks of hair enveloped his forehead, and in the afternoon blaze, Valen looked like he was brought out from a perfect vintage movie—bedazzled with golden melodies across his skin. His eyes met mine as he spoke some few words into the phone—but it barely lasted.

He had looked away.

And when I turned back again, my eyes caught onto a certain someone standing in front of the building-and when familiarity struck, goosebumps rose on my skin.

In my peripheral view, the makeshift world was crumbling into dust, bleeding into complete oblivion. With gritted teeth, my mind replicated the painful memories rooting itself in the depth of bones. The misery, anger and hatred spoke the loudest: clenched fist, gritted teeth, boiling blood, and derailed thoughts-and I was starting to realize that the happiness I had longed for would maybe never be fulfilled.

Evan, the one person I had dreaded, loathed and hated all my life was standing few meters in front of me, his hands swaying in the air as he engaged himself in a chat with his friends-a bag slinged on his shoulder. He didn't spot me, thankfully, however, since he was engrossed in his discussion.

I had the strongest urge to march there and bear the shit out of him but what explanation would I have given Valen?

"Shit! frosty, are you okay?" Valen had placed his hands on my tensed shoulders, and I had totally forgotten how he had walked in front of me.

And when my eyes found his, my shoulders relaxed, and so I nodded-then glanced at Evan for a split second. I want to kill him. He had smiled at his friends in that duration-a smile unmistakably the same as the one he gave me four years ago. My steps faltered as I tried to walk away, fists clenched, and Valen looked at me with concern-all whilst following where my gaze was.

But Evan was gone, however, the only thing left was burning rage and hatred—and the worn out memories at the back of my head.

I'm sorry that happened but I'm not ready to let them share their first kiss yet. But, do drop your thoughts on the mysterious Evan—also, tyasm for 5.21k reads, I can't really explain how excited I am rn. I love you all❤️

Stay golden<3

Jessie❤️