I got no sleep last night. Not a wink. Even after I'd exhausted myself in the pool, doing lap after lap, a good night's rest evaded me.

I'm currently perched on a stool while Denver makes breakfast. I miss cooking. I miss cooking for people even more. I miss having two specific people to cook for. I look down at the granite countertop of the breakfast bar I'm sat at like it's going to open up and swallow me into a pit of despair.

"Talked to the doctor this morning." Denver pipes up, trying to sound chipper. "Torey is doing good. Still stable."

"That's good." I know he still isn't in the clear though.

"Do you want to see him before we fly out?" I just keep looking down at the counter. I do and I don't. Seeing Torey lying near lifeless, knowing I can't do anything about it, makes me feel a bit hollow and useless. But I also don't want to not see him. "Brooks?"

"Yeah." I nod my head at the granite. "Sure, I'll see him.

"Oof you look like shiiit."

"Adri!" Denver reprimands.

"What? He does. Poor guy looks like he needs a week of sleep. You've got bags for days." I just let out a long sigh because that blunt-as-fuck personality definitely runs in the family. "Want some coffee?" That offer is a surprise.

I look up at her. "Yeah, I could use a cup." After a moment she sets it down in front of me. It's black, just how I like it. "Thanks."

"You seem like someone who isn't into messing around. Figured you'd take it plain." I'm not sure if that's a dig or a compliment. Adriana's words could be taken both ways.

"Morning sunshines." Malyssa says, walking into the kitchen wearing a smile with Luke trailing behind her.

"Yeah, you two took a while coming downstairs." Denver clips, throwing them a knowing look. "Wonder what kind of coming the two of you were up to."

"God ew, dad, stop." She scrunches her face as she looks at the two parents that'd just entered the room. "Anyway, I have a uh... question." The way she says the word with a face full of false innocence has me interested. "Soooo uhm, the guard guy thing posted outside of my room last night... what's, uhh, what's his deal, anyway?"

"Why?" Luke asks with an unreadable mask placing on his face. I don't think anyone caught the way his eyes slightly slid to Denver before it was there.

"Ooooh," she makes two fingers dance idly on the countertop, not looking at anyone in particular. "I don't know. I am just mildly curious about him, I guess."

Denver lets out a loud noise of irritation. "Here we fucking go." He throws a look at Luke that screams 'I told you so'. "What did I tell you?" Luke's face is still an unreadable mask, though his jaw is taught. "Hmm? I told you not to hire that fucking guy but you wanted your eye candy and now look." He waves his spatula in Adriana's direction. "What exactly do you think she's mildly curious about?"

"Den... I— I did not hire him for eye candy."

"Ho ho hoooookayyyy. Whatever you want to tell yourself." He's jealous. I have seen Denver a lot of ways but never jealous. He continues grumbling, "hiring an ex-sex-worker over here, covered in tattoos and is as big as a fucking house. Sure sure, Luke."

"I— I resent that. I hired him because he is physically suited for the job. That's it." Denver lets out an indignant snort at that. "Den..." He looks genuinely concerned now.

"So, what you're saying is..." Adriana interrupts their spat while continuing her little counter finger dance, feigning innocence, "that he is gifted... in the art... of sex?"

"Oh for fuck's sake! She is the two of you one-hundred-fucking-percent." He shakes his head as he flips an omelet angrily. "Over here trying to act all innocent when you want to fuck a guy posted to protect you. Lucas fucking junior over here."

"I resent that!"

"Yeah yeah, you can resent it all you want, Luke. Doesn't change the fact that it is a fact."

"Adri, please do not fuck the man hired to protect you." Malyssa interjects and I automatically think of my relationship with Dani. "He can't protect you if he's fucking you." She's not entirely wrong. Not unless there are deeper, more emotional wounds that only being close with another person can fix. Not if he has to protect her from herself; like I had once had to do for Dani.

Self-destruction is a very real thing, one that I know entirely too much about. My father. My sister. Dani. Torey. I swallow uncomfortably at that last name. I think I may have developed a type aside from the physical.

"You know, I would beg to differ." Adriana ads, pulling me out of my thoughts. "I would say he'd be better apt to service me if he was actually servicing me."

"Nope. Nope." Luke walks out of the room. "I can't hear that. I dooo nooot want to hear that."

"Well now you know how it feeeeels!" She shouts at his fast-retreating frame.

"Now who does she sound like, huh, Mal?"

"Listen, Den, I know Braxton is a rather attractive male but that doesn't mean—"

"Excuse me?" Denver throws her a disbelieving glare, even more agitated now.

"Like you don't think so too," Malyssa deadpans.

"You know, no, I do not fucking think so. My preference in men is blond-haired and bitchy." He points a spatula at her. "You know this."

"I am not bitchy!" Luke pops back in before popping back out.

"'Kay whatever you say, bitch."

I sip my coffee feeling like an odd spectator to this event. Their relationship dynamic makes me miss Dani and Torey. Makes me miss our time together even if Torey was a pain in the ass for the majority of it. The amount of emotional and physical exhaustion I feel suddenly overwhelm me. I need to be alone or I might just lose it. Well, that or pass out right where I'm sat.

I push the stool back, stand and then leave the room immediately, forgetting the breakfast being prepared. Both Malyssa and Denver call out for me but I don't respond. I can't. I'm flooded with too many feelings and too little sleep. I make my feet move like they're on fire. Once I'm back in the safety of the guest house I can sense that I am about to have a complete breakdown.

Fuck.

  I close the door quickly as my chest begins to tighten, my breathing becoming harder and harder. I take all of five steps away from the entryway and collapse to my knees. My head falls forward but I catch it with my hands. I thread my fingers through my hair harshly and pull. Pain. Pain means you're still alive. You've been though so much worse and survived. How much worse can it fucking get? Because the reality of it is— I failed them. A sob escapes me at that thought and tears begin to fall down my face. I failed them. I'm a failure.

'I'm a failure. I failed them. I failed Dani. I failed Wolf. I failed Torey. I fucking failed them all.' That mantra repeats itself over and over in my mind making me shudder with guilt. Useless. I am useless. Trained and skilled but I wasn't there when it mattered. I never am. I'm just surrounded by death like its a fucking shroud and I should've been there to stop it. I should've fucking... I should've... I'm fucking sobbing so hard I can barely breathe.

Arms. Feminine arms encompass me. "It's alright." Malyssa whispers as she pulls me into her. "Let it out."

"I failed them." My body wracks with nothing but gut-wrenching sorrow. "I... I'm sorry. I'm useless. I... I—"

"No. No apologies." She coaxes my fingers out of my hair. "You did not fail them," she states, firmly. "And you most certainly are not useless." I wrap my arms around her small frame, cling to her like she's a life raft. She begins to stroke my hair tenderly, motherly. That makes me cry even harder.

If I would've gotten home sooner I could've protected my own mother from my father. I could've protected my brother. My sister. I had tried to provide for her but it wasn't enough. She still ended her life. All the people I care about just gone. Gone because I am never fucking there when it matters.

"I've got you, Brooks. I've got you. Let it out." And I do. I cry harder than I think I have ever cried in my entire life because, the fact of the matter is, I haven't let myself cry. I never let myself get overly emotional. I never let myself let it out, at least not in this manner. With violence, yes, but not a sobbing wreck of a man that I am currently.

After I cry, for God knows how long, she pulls away from me. She stands up and offers me her hand. I take it, feeling the utter exhaustion in my bones. She wordlessly brings me to the bedroom and sits on one side of the bed. She gestures for me to lie down next to her. I hesitate for a moment but do so. She pats her lap which has me giving her a questioning look.

"Come here." I don't know why but I do as she says, placing my head in her lap. "You need your sleep but it's riddled with nightmares." It's not a question just a statement of fact. "Sleep knowing I'm here. Sleep knowing that you're protected. Knowing that you are, in fact, not left all by yourself again. And trust me when I say I will do everything in my power to make sure you never lose another person."

"Thank you," is all I can manage to whisper because of all of the emotions welling inside of me at her statement. It's an uncomfortable amount.

"Close your eyes." I do. She threads her fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp tenderly. She slowly eases out all of the self-inflicted aching I'd caused there. In no time at all, I find my sleep, lulled by the comfort of a woman who is so much more caring than her reputation would ever have you believe.

"You have taken a rather uncharacteristic fondness to him."

I'm somewhere between the dreaming world and the waking. The male voice partially responsible for bringing me out of my peaceful slumber.

"By the looks of the car he's currently driving I would say you have too."

"True. If things don't work out with Dani or Torey... Things could get rather complicated."

"What makes you think I would ever let him out of my life now, Luke?" I hear the male let out a sigh. "I care too much about him. Regardless of his relationship status, he's sticking around. Or shall I correct myself, I will be sticking around for him. I made a promise."

There's silence for a while then, "you see yourself in him, don't you?"

She lets out a hum of a noise, continuing her soft rubs. "I suppose I do, yes. He is much more intuitive and emotionally aware than I ever was but his history speaks to me on a very personal level. You know this. He's been through the shit of it and instead of becoming cold and callous, emotionally unavailable, like I had, he has chosen to empathize. He got through to Torey when Torey had become..."

I think I feel wetness in my hair.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, Malyssa."

"But I was just like him. I was once in Torey's near exact shoes. If it wasn't for Dani and the man in my lap... I think we would've have lost him, Luke."

There's a slight shift of the weight underneath my head and I completely wake up at this point. When I look up I see Luke standing next to the bed, arms wrapped around Malyssa's shoulders. I slowly pick my head up which causes their embrace to separate. When they both just look at me I feel awkward as all hell.

After I scoot myself away from Malyssa I ask, "How long was I out for?"

"A couple of hours."

"Oh." That is a lot longer than I expected and the entire time I spent in her lap. "Thanks for uh..." Whatever the hell that was.

"Don't mention it." She hops off the bed with a smile. "We'll be leaving soon."

"Okay. Yeah, I'll get ready."

Her and Luke give me one last look before heading out the bedroom door.

A/N:
That chapter got pretty emotional at the end.

Anyway, it's a very special day because it's beabybear 's birthday!!! Happy birthday, lovely! Thank you for being someone who puts a smile on my face daily. Much love to you! ❤️❤️❤️