Seeing my semi-boyfriend-type-thing with a buzzcut wasn't exactly doing it for me considering I thoroughly enjoyed gripping his fine brown locks previously. He's chatting with my brother about what he thinks they're going to expect overseas like he's going to be accompanying them, which he's not, at least I have made my opposition of the matter quite apparent. That may or may not have included throwing a few objects at him in frustration then using a more tactical approach from between my legs. If you ask me, I'd say the sated look on his face was a pretty clear indicator that he's staying.

"As you can see there are no weak spots," Torey says around a huff of smoke while pointing to a map of the compound's blueprints. "I would say here is the potential for there to be a weak point but I can't imagine it's that way anymore." He takes another puff and blows it out. "My guess is Daniela is being held up around here." He circles a spot on the map then goes to another. "My mother is being kept here, in the underground section." Torey continues to go on, with Braxton making the occasional noise of understanding and sometimes out of frustration.

"Torey, you know there's no smoking in the house," our father admonishes, waving a hand in the air to rid himself of smoke. "God, I hate the smell of cigarette smoke. Your mother used to have the same nasty habit. Thankfully, she quit." He grabs a dish from the cabinet and sets it down in front of Torey. "Out. Now." My brother takes a long drag, finishing off the cigarette in its' entirety before putting it out. The huge breath of smoke he blows down at the blueprint has my father grimacing and walking away, cursing my brother along the way.

"Your father is right, it's a nasty habit and not everyone has an affinity for self-destruction quite like you do, Tor." I hadn't even seen Brooks stride into the room. "And really?" He glares at the other hand that hadn't been holding the cigarette but instead is holding a knuckle's worth of booze. "Vodka first thing in the morning?" As if to accentuate the point, Torey raises the glass then polishes it off. "You really need to start making healthier choices."

"Ah yes, like flying overseas to raid a mafia lord's compound after betraying him to the United States government, which, by the way, fucked me right in the ass, metaphorically speaking, that is. Don't want you to get your hopes up or anything." My father chokes on the water he'd been taking a sip of and I can't help the silent laughter that rolls through me.

Oh, how I've missed my brother.

"Speaking non-metaphorically," I interject as I look over Brooks, "those are some pretty colorful markings on your neck." His hand automatically flies to cover them. "No point in trying to hide those bad boys." I look over to my arrogant, satisfied, smirk-wearing brother, "you really did a number on him didn't you? Surprised you're able to walk."

"Adri!" My father coughs out, still mid-choke.

"What? Do you see that bite mark? I can only imagine if he was that rough with him what his as—"

"That's enough, Adri." Torey's tone holds a touch of warning, those bright blues flicking to mine.

"Oh don't you try and use that scary dominant tone on me." But the look in his eyes is actually a bit more intimidating than I care to admit. This is a new side of Torey, one I've only recently become affiliated with. I shrug, trying to lighten the mood, "just because you're uncomfortable about your sexuality doesn't mean you have to—"

"I said, That. Is. Enough." I've never heard my brother speak to me in that way before. The words weren't of much consequence but the way they were insinuated was enough to have me shutting my mouth. "As I was saying." He continues on about the plans but I zone out, not really caring particularly about the specifics. I just analyze him as he talks in a manner that is nothing short of authoritative. He's the only one standing around this table in a full three-piece suit, the only one who hasn't buzzed his hair. The rest of them look like they're in the military while Torey looks like he's about to go out for cocktails at, I glance at the clock, eleven in the morning.

Is this what Torey has been around for the past several years? Men who look just like he does right now? Men who speak and act this exact way?

After what seems like for-fucking-ever of Torey rambling on, Braxton adds something about him going in from one of the weaker points that my brother had mentioned earlier. That has me arching a brow, "uh, you're not going on this fun little suicide mission across the pond." Everyone proceeds to get extremely quiet. "No no, we agreed that you weren't going, Braxton."

He coughs uncomfortably, "that wasn't really a conversation." Technically, he's right but, I'd thought my skills had sealed the deal and convinced him to stay out of this whole extravaganza of violence.

"Braxton, Iiii do not want you to go... Sooo..." So his ass better stay. And even though I don't say the words I'm sure they are implied by the face I'm currently directing at him.

"I understand how you feel about me going but—"

"Uh, but nothing."

"Adri, he's an asset and we need him. His brother needs him." I glare at Torey which has him giving me an equally piercing stare in challenge. This version of my brother doesn't back down, not that Torey had been one to do so previously. "He's coming regardless of whatever little tantrum you're about to throw." That makes my pissed-off-level sore off the charts. Braxton visibly cringes away from my brother's words and avoids my sideways glance which is asking for him to respond otherwise. But he doesn't.

"Like hell he is, Tor." I slide back in my chair, standing in irritation but my brother doesn't even flinch at the irate action. "You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do we really need to risk everyone's life here?"

"We aren't risking yours." When I go to speak he waves a hand at me dismissively, "we all know what we're getting into. We're all grown-ups here." The casual nonchalance at the mention of everyone wiling to just go off and die infuriates me.

"Oh yeah, no big deal, let's just have everyone I care about walk directly into the arms of death! Yeah, Torey, no big fucking deal. It's totally fine while I just sit here and wait to see if everyone I fucking love is dead or not!" I push away from the table not wanting to hear any more words out of my brother's mouth. His whole demeanor pisses me the hell off.

"Adri, wait!" Braxton is walking fast to catch up to me. "I know you're angry but you have to understand why I'm going!" I do and I don't which has me moving my feet even faster. "Come on, let's talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about, Braxton. I thought we had agreed that you'd stay but I guess I was wrong."

"I don't think I would call what we did much of a conversation. It was you trying to fuck my brains out so that I'd say I would stay— which I never did, by the way." His words piss me off more than anything and have me practically jogging down the hallway to get away from him. "Adriana stop!" I pause momentarily, my breathing erratically coming out of my nostrils in frustration. "Did you mean what you said?"

"I say a lot of things, Braxton, half of which are sarcastic remarks so no, probably not."

"So, when you just said everyone you love, that didn't include me?" That has my breath freezing in my lungs.

Had I said that? I don't think I'd uttered the L word. Oh God, I definitely did.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Right, okay, yeah." He sounds disappointed.

Fuck my life. I do not do feelings well, especially not these kind of feelings. I slowly turn on my heel to find him just a few feet away from me. He's rubbing a hand over his newly buzzed hair looking slightly lost and at a loss for words.

"Tell me what to do here, Adri."

"Tell you what to do about what?"

"What to do about this." He gestures between the two of us. "I don't want to push you away. I don't want to lose what we have but... but you can't expect me to leave my brother over there with no one. I need to be there for him."

"He'll have people! He'll have my dads, my brother, Brooks! I mean, for fuck's sake he'll have like a whole fucking German gang or whoever it is that my mom knows! Why do you have to go? Why do you have to leave me?" The last words came out more brokenly and vulnerable than I had wanted them to. "You know what, just forget it." I turn around immediately but in seconds Braxton's hands are on my shoulders.

"Stop."

"Let me go!" I try wriggling out of his grasp.

"No."

"Braxton, I swear to all that is holy, if you do not let me go I will—" my words cut off when he spins me around. I swallow uncomfortably when I'm met with all of the emotion in those green depths. It has me looking away from him.

"You try and act like you don't care about me, try and play it off like it's no big deal and then throw words around like they mean nothing, like I won't be affected by them. And you already know that I have feelings for you, Adri. I have expressed as much sentiment to you while you've just laughed it off and dismissed it. If you care for me in that manner I suggest you say so before I go."

"Why?!" I snap, looking back at him. "Why should I tell you I feel any sort of way for you at all since you're just going to potentially go and throw your life away?!" I tear myself out of his grasp as tears begin to stream down my cheeks. I bat at them in irritation, trying to wipe them away from my face before he can see them.

"Adri—"

"No, just... just leave me alone." I turn away and sprint toward the door that leads outside wanting nothing more than to be at my own place. I want to be somewhere I can pretend that all of this nonsense doesn't exist, where the giant bear-man isn't. Where all of my feelings aren't.

✩✩✩

"Well you're where you should be all the time. And when you're not, you're with some underworld spy. Or the wife of a close friend wife of a close friend and YOU'RE SO VAIN! YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS SONG IS ABOUT YOU! YOU'RE SO VAIN! YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS SONG IS ABOUT YOU DON'T YOU! DON'T YOU! DON'T YOUUUUUUU!" I belt out the last bit into my bottle of tequila, sealing it with a hearty, very lady-like burp after. "THOMASSSSSSSSSSS! COME JOIN ME!" I know he won't but I had to ask every good fifteen minutes or so.

A hiccup leaves me as I flop down on my bed, the epitome of frustration rolling though me at the fact I'm stuck in my parents' home. They wouldn't let me leave so, here I am, scream-singing karaoke loud enough for the whole house to hear. At least I hope everyone can hear it because fuck all of them.

I flip through my phone but before I can select one another song begins to play that has me bringing the bottle of tequila to my lips. "Oh fuck this song," though those were the words that I uttered, I still continued to listen to it, curling up on my side as I do so. It takes no time at all for the tears to flow down my cheeks and even shorter than that for sleep to pull me under.

A/N:
Happy Weekend!
♥️