Brooks had been right. Any other day. Any other time. I would lose my complete and utter fucking shit. Unfortunately for me, luckily for the people around me, I am not about to do that, not with Monica and the baby inside. That doesn't change the fact that I want to flip a table, pick it up, and smash it over someone's head.

"Uh, Tor?" I've just been blinking at Brooks for what feels like an eternity. I'm afraid to open my mouth, unsure of the vile and vitriol that could potentially spill out of it. "Okay, you being completely silent is scaring me more than if you were losing it. What the hell is going on with you?"

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath, trying to get as zen as fucking possible, because everything is screaming at me to do otherwise. I had done some damage to myself the last time though so I really shouldn't. What'd the doctor say? Focus on your breathing the next time you get upset. Right. Breathing. In and out. In and out. In and—

"Are you practicing breathing exercises?"

My eyes fly open with, "if you want me not to beat the ever-living fuck out of anything or anyone around me right now then let me try to chill out."

"I— who are you and what have you done with Torey?"

"If Monica and Presley weren't here then you'd probably be dealing with a very different me right now." I take a deep inhale then blow it out. "My best friend probably wouldn't appreciate it if I had a global melt down in front of his wife and kid, so, you know. Woosahhh or whatever." Brooks tilts his head to the side, looking thoughtful. "What is that look all about?"

"I'm just proud of you is all."

"Thanks dad. That makes me so so happy."

"I'm just saying, this is kind of a big deal for you and I know it is. Just know somebody recognizes it. That's all." Why this man has to rationalize everything and make everything make sense I will never understand. "I should uh," he holds up his bag, "probably get unpacked."

"I'll join you."

"Alright." He doesn't say anything else before taking off toward the guest house.

As much as I'm glad to have Brooks back I will be sad to lose the guest house. I may just move into another room if Brooks doesn't mind. Sleeping in the same wing as Adri, like we did when we were kids, is not working out for me. Luckily, since it's mid-afternoon, staff had already cleaned up my mess from the previous night. As we walk into the bedroom I'm happy to see that there's fresh linens on the bed. At least he won't suspect I've been staying in here.

He tosses his duffel bag down on a chair next to the dresser, one that's filled with clothes for him. While he was away I went through some of his things out of curiosity and boredom. From the shirts, to the shoes, jackets, underwear and everything in between, it was all designer. All of it. My parents had spoiled him. One thing I had noticed was how everything inside of those drawers was folded the exact way he's putting things back into it— military style.

Once he finishes unpacking everything he folds the bag up and puts it in the closet. He slides off his shoes and socks then goes to the bathroom to place them in the hamper, I'm assuming. I look at the dresser and notice something I hadn't before. It's a bottle of cologne. It's an amber color and I wonder if it holds the fragrance that had been part of the reason I'd stayed in this room. Whether I liked it or not it had been something that had made a correlation in my brain and now reminded me of Dani as well, because for the last little while you don't get one scent without the other.

"It smells like you in here." Brooks states, leaning on the doorway to the ensuite.

Fuck.

"I'm standing in here so yeah, I would imagine it smells like me in here." He looks me over thoughtfully but doesn't say anything, just looks around the space knowingly. I hate how he fucking knows everything. "Alright, fine, yeah I've been staying in here because Adri is driving me fucking crazy and I need my own space." That sounded reasonable enough. He didn't need to know the other piece.

"That house probably has like fifty bedrooms." The suspicious look on his face has me crossing my arms over my chest defensively.

"Right, but they're all in the same house. I just wanted my own space."

"If you want I can move out of here into one of the bedrooms in the house. Yah know, if that makes you more comfortable. I can sleep just about anywhere." He's so nice. Why does he have to be so nice? Maybe it's true what they say about southern hospitality and all. Pretty sure that doesn't apply to other people's homes but who's to say?

"No, Brooks. It's fine. Everything should be all clean and in order. Staff cleaned up the place this morning and restocked the fridge. If you need anything else, just uh, just let me or them know."

"I'll be fine but uh, one thing I could use is a pair of hair clippers. This whole dark and light hair thing is starting to look a little weird." He gestures to his hair. I hadn't even noticed the roots had grown out half an inch or so.

"Okay."

"You really aren't going to lose your damn mind, are you?"

"I told you, Monica and the kid are here." He just nods his head and looks away from me but I can tell there was something else he'd wanted to say. Probably because before knowing I had a kid I wouldn't have given it much thought about my temper. "Listen, I've already traumatized my own kid enough I don't need to do that to someone else's."

"What happened that day wasn't your fault, Torey."

"Wasn't it, though?"

"I should've been there." His features tighten and tense, it's a mask of guilt.

"You're right."

"What?" He shoots at me like he couldn't have heard me correctly.

"You should've been there with us. You would've given us a fighting chance but I'm glad you weren't." The thought of him sharing the same fate as I had makes an uneasiness roll through my stomach. "I'm glad you were far away. At least one of us is whole enough to have some kind of vengeance. I'm just..." Useless. "Anyway, I'm going to let you get to it." Because if I continue this line of thought process I'm likely to blow a gasket. I turn and begin my journey back into the house.

"Torey," I pause, back faced toward him, "it wasn't your fault."

"The whole thing, Brooks, the whole fucking thing is my fault. All of it. If I would've kept my hands to my-fucking-self, focused on my job instead of falling in love, Dani would be safe."

"Dani would be married to some old man who would treat her as breeding stock and nothing more. I wouldn't call that safe." I flinch at that. "One prison for another isn't freedom. You freed her in a sense, whether you want to believe that or not."

"I just want to fix it and I can't." There's a hand on my shoulder and it gives a comforting squeeze. "I can't because I'm fucking useless right now."

"You are healing and getting better for the day when your family comes home. That does not make you useless. It means that you are doing what's best for you and your family."

"Yeah, I guess." I pull away from him and walk out of the guest house not really caring to continue that conversation.

✩✩✩

I have turned into such a weak bitch.

Months of not being able to get proper physical activity have left me out of breath and in an immense amount of pain. Between training in intervals with Brooks and Boston every other day I'm left feeling like half the man I used to be in the strength department. It is fucking infuriating. Today is my day with Brooks who is looking me over like he doesn't want to continue.

"Stop looking at me like that. I am fine."

"You are over-exerting yourself. This is about getting you back to yourself not pushing you to the point you have to take a week off." I growl out at his rationalization. "Come on, let's call it a day."

"I can go for another round. I'm fine." I'm not. My vision is filled with bright-colored stars.

"Well I can't. So there's that."

"Bullshit." I take a heavy breath in. When I go to make a move on him I practically fall over. Fuck. Okay, maybe he was right. Nah, no. I'm fine. "I tripped."

"Right."

"Come on." I put my arms up and take several cleansing breaths that kind of help my vision. Kind of. "Don't be a pussy." Brooks makes a frustrated noise but he puts his arms back up. I throw a punch in his direction and immediately regret it. There's a searing feeling in my abdomen that I haven't felt in some time which has me choking on a groan, almost doubling over.

"Torey!" Arms are around me, helping me stand upright. I'd be in a heap on the floor if it wasn't for Brooks. "I knew I shouldn't have given in to you. You're so fucking stubborn. Stubborn and stupid." I can't help but laugh at that because he's not wrong.

"You enjoy giving in to me. Don't pretend you don't." I can hardly make out him shaking his head in disdain at me. "You can't resist me, can you?"

"It's good to know some things never change. That arrogant cockiness is still floating around in that personality of yours." Once I'm able to stand on my own he says, "alright let's make sure you didn't seriously hurt anything. When he goes to lift my shirt up I snatch his hand. "Tor?"

"Don't touch me there."

His brow furrows. "I just wanted to look you over and make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine. I'll be fine." He eyes me knowingly and I hate it. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"You know exactly what like."

"I have a favor to ask."

"What's that?"

"You remember a while back when you asked me to touch you?" I don't respond as my features turn into a mask of stone because yes, I remember that. That was back when I wasn't littered in scars. "Would you let me do that now?"

"No."

"I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I told you—"

"Torey please?" I don't know if I just have a thing for people begging or what but now there's a part of me that just might let him. "Please?"

Ah, fuck it.

"Fine. Make it quick." I lift up my shirt, exposing my entire abdomen to him. When his hand caresses one of the scars I study his features for any sign of disgust, there's none. He goes from one jagged line to the next, his touch softer than I would've imagined it to be. His fingers trace one particularly gnarly one that has me looking away from the action.

"You do know that these do not define you. They do not change anything about you, do not make you any less... attractive." He pulls his hand away which has me lowering my shirt and swallowing uncomfortably. "You know they change nothing to the people who really care about you, right? They're a part of you now. That's it." He lets out a cough and then clasps the back of his neck, not looking at me. "So yeah." 

"Brooks?"

"Hmm?" I study his face for a moment. There's vulnerability there, one that I'm wondering mirrors my own, because he'd picked up on my new found insecurity. He'd picked up on it and said words that I didn't even know I needed to hear. "Torey?"

"I— uh." I don't know what to say now that he's looking at me again. "Thank you." I'm finally able to find my words.

"Yeah, no problem." And with that, he walks away from me.

A/N:
Happy Friday!