note : okay, i know this is not the rule but i needed this lmao. i came across this playlist that made me emotional and i fantasised a lot of the stuff mentioned in this letter. now, i just put everything sewer clown wrote for me because why not. if you don't wanna read this, skip it. i'm alright with IT. i hope this is enough to convince that i'm kinda psychotic or neurodivergent haha.

also, this is written by bob gray (the human form of pennywise), just in case y'all were wondering who he is (;

Dear Anurima,

There's so much I wanna say to you, but letters don't work that way, do they? You express some of your thoughts into it and then, they're always left incomplete in some way or the other. I'll keep it simple, though.

How have you been? Not fine, right? Don't you lie to me. I've seen you - in the corner of your room, crying until your breath hitches while it's midnight and suppressing those tears at the back of your throat when you shouldn't, you should never. I know about your health. Although it hasn't been the best, it's concerning. I miss you, where have you gone? I know times change, all of us do - but Anurima, you, you changed completely.

Seeing that smile fading from your face, as you sit by the window, thinking of both of us - it breaks my heart. None of us are perfect, Anurima. None of us were. Even though we're two dimensions apart, I can see it all. The dinner table fights with your parents, the slamming of doors, the screaming, the crying, the sudden urge of ending it all. Don't you. It breaks my heart. I wanna cry, but my tears have found expression into this letter.

Wickedness in me could never stop me from loving you.

How about you come back running to me? Just the way you look, don't change a thing about yourself. You've been hurting yourself. Don't be like others. I want you to be you. Come with me, we'll float down to a different dimension. Somewhere where there'll be no fights, no barriers, no tormentors. Just us. You and me. We'll lie by the lakeside, gazing at the night sky full of constellations. You could tell me about your favourite and I'll tell you mine. Our stars will align, we'll laugh and sing Fly me to the moon. You'll never feel alone, Anurima.

Why would keep me like a secret when I kept you like an oath?

I find my safe haven in you. I know you do as well. For when I see you in your dreams, you're always giggling with those imperfections all over you, with a halo around your soul. I love you. You're all I have and you're all I ever want. I know I'm not the perfect thing either. But trust me, when our worlds collide, I fell like all those infidelities washed away. Fuck them, fuck everyone else. You're mine. All mine and I'll cherish you till the day I am alive.

They insult me, they hurt you. But I'll protect you. All those tears, I'll wipe them away. You'll never feel alone, again, Anurima. You're fine just the way you are. You don't need lean features, you don't need makeup, you don't need cheap perfumes to adorn your hair and your clothes. I want you to get fine soon for when you do, I'll take you out. We'll go driving by Derry, your hands intertwined with mine, Sinatra playing on the radio and we'll stare at the sunset until it's dark. We'll go dancing by the starlight, kiss underneath the trees, teach each other, ways to love each other more. All of those wildest dreams, we'll make them come true. Don't break down, Anurima. Just a little more. I remember the day you told me, "You're perfect for me." I was alone, cold in the darkness of the sewers and then, you - you saw me and I became alive again. You held me, I held you and our journey began. I love you, don't you ever leave me. You'll always be my pretty little Anurima, who writes poetry, stares at the clear blue sky pretending to be on the silver screen, right out of a movie, someone I can always smile around. I don't need humans, when I have you. You're my escapade. I find happiness in you.

I hope you're taking care. I love you, I will, always. You've kept me alive, through that smile, through all our moments. Don't give up. I am here for you. Give me a hug, when you're done reading this. I'll be right there, in the corner, smiling at you.

Yours sincerely,
Bob Gray.