****Trigger warning****

DO NOT SKIP ANYTHING IF YOU DO READ IT.

Do not skip it if you are a reader of this book from 2020, or read it before January 26th.

There are two reasons for this chapter.
One-

This chapter had some of the most beautiful comments. I liked them and decided to keep this chapter.

Two-

I needed to take it out.

Let's talk: why did I take out some scenes and plots?

As you can fathom from some past comments, this story had vivid description of sexual assault. I am being blunt but I need to keep it as short as possible so say what I am trying to.

Throughout my years on Wattpad, I have come across some pretty f*cked up books. Some are less f*cked up than mine, some are more.

A lot of these books had r*pe, and the r*pist also happened to be a love interest. See, most of the writers put r*pe as a shock factor, as something that will give you a good cry or a feeling of melancholy. You pity the characters and that is how it messes with your emotional perspective. I am ashamed to say that, I happened to be one of those writers.

Wattpad inspired me to write my own books, unfortunately, not all of those inspirations were good. Some of them were problematic. Some were downright horrifying. As a 15 year old, I had no clue of what is right and what is wrong and how broadly books can impact a reader.

I won't put my own fault on anyone rather myself because it was my fault and now when I look back three years ago, I have realised that what I put in my book is downright disgusting.

This book has abuse and it is something I'm not proud of. Yes this book will remain very close to my heart but if could change how Marienne and Rose met and change the whole universe, I would.

Unfortunately it isn't possible now, so I hope those that read it, please keep in mind that I absolutely loathe the trope and I hope you won't judge me by a book I wrote 3 years ago.

It took me long to figure out that ra*e isn't something you put in your book for shock factor. It is extremely insensitive to the survivors and it took me a while to realize that.

Last year, in my country, a huge protest against ra*e premised and I can proudly say that I was a part of it. The protest led to our government recognizing marital ra*e, increasing the crime for it to a death sentence or a life prisonment.

The protest was probably my first enlightenment that you DON'T put ra*e in your book for a good cry or a shock factor. You don't ship a ra*ist and a victim.

Everyone shared their story, I shared mine too. I was, although briefly, in my childhood, was sexually harassed. When I couldn't find one woman that didn't go through it, it was an eye opener.

I am ashamed for putting that subject in my book.

I was very young when I wrote the original version of this book, I was 15, a kid who didn't have the perception of the world. I didn't have any sense as to what should I put in my book and what should I not.

My inspiration for writing this book was many, like, greek mythology, philosophy, dark academia music, Lucca Magnota, Edvard Munch and Marco Mazzoni's art, classic literature, the original 'Beauty and The Beast' book.

There was also another inspiration.

A survivor.

Roseline was inspired by a real girl, a girl I happened to know. She too, was abused and sexually harassed at a very early, young age. Despite the trauma she had gone through, she held herself high. She is one of the most strongest woman I had ever have the privilege to meet.

So, all factors continuing, the enlightenment of this subject came to me, although a little late.

I realized ra*e isn't something you romanticize unless you, yourself is a survivor. Even as an author, you do not hold the power to forgive a rap*st.

You don't know what a victim goes through yourself, you don't know if a victim will forgive their r*pist.

Even if they're an angel, even if they have the purest soul.

The girl I knew, her motto was forgive, but never forget. She forgave them, but she didn't forget. She will never forget. She is traumatized.

You might say, oh, it didn't feel like you weren't romanticizing r*pe- no I wasn't. I wasn't romanticizing r!pe, my purpose for adding it to the book was to keep it realistic.

But still, the book could be done without it.

My sole purpose of writing this book, was to give my readers hope to live on, even if the situation is the worst, I wish that they'd see themselves in Marienne and Rose- and tell themselves, I can do it. I can break free of this situation.

Triggering my readers and myself was the last thing I wanted to do.

So, I took out that particular plot, polished it and I feel better than ever.

Ra*e isn't something you put for a shock factor, ra+e isn't something to be romanticized- although a late realization, it did come to me and I would like to say one thing.

I apologise to all of those people who read my books previously, who got triggered, to all the survivors. You all have my utmost respect, you are one of the most strongest human being I have ever come across.

I apologise sincerely and you won't see it in any of my books ever again.

It was a mistake, from a girl who was naive to the aftermath of sexual harassments, so I hope you can overlook it.

Thank you. I appreciate you for reading.

(My mind is a mess rn, I'll try to edit this note later)

Love you 🖤