Extra Chapter: Where the Line Blurs

Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep.
― Clive Barker,Abarat: Days of Magic, Nights of War

Roses POV:

I woke up to an empty bed.

Dim light seeped through the giant glass doors, the white georgette curtains on the window fluttering in the mid spring breeze. I could make out the patterns created by the moonlight near the window. Subtle mingle musk of earth and his cologne wafted around me, ruling my senses.

Speaking of him..

I let out a yawn as I shifted to my left, only to discover an empty spot with crinkled sheets and pillows. Blinking a couple of times, I noticed the wet spots on the white pillow case.

My heart jumped into my throat as I hastily reached for the table lamp and turned it on; the yellow hue allowing me to take a clearer look.

Blood pounded frantically in my veins as it registered into my sleep induced brain that Marienne might have had a nightmare.

But after two years.

Why now?

Why did my beast have those nightmares again?

Since we got together, three years ago, Marienne never had a single nightmare. He did have panic attacks still, but nightmares were a rarity.

Panic blossomed within me as I looked around erratically, a fear bubbling within me.

How did I not notice it?

I sat up hastily as the covers slid off of me.

I bit my lips as I was made aware of my very naked body.

Since our time in Paris together, we had basically been inseparable. Marienne would make out with me whenever we were alone, although he did not mind PDA.

We seek reassurance into each others kisses, each others touches; whenever we felt loss, we would kiss, hold hand, lose ourselves into each other until we were a mess of moans, sweaty bodies and strangled whispers. We loved each other, he loved me and somewhere along the way, I fell for this deranged man.

He made me feel like I was the only woman in this word, I was the only tune to his orchestra. Without me, he was nothing but a dead instrument. He would say this after our many love making sessions- I would lay panting over him, listening to his wild heartbeat as he would whisper into my ear, You give me purpose, Roseline.

My broken knight...

Stolen glances, stolen kisses and dirty talks in bed- nothing ever got old with him.

He fought my demons, salvaged me- not caring an ounce that he had his own demons to fight. He was trying and I appreciated him.

I slipped into his white shirt that lay idly on the floor, some where along the way, I might have torn his shirt, but it was enough to save me from the cold and cover my body that was peppered with love bites.

A distinct sound of retching made my stomach clench in pain, as I slowly proceeded to the bathroom, my palms turning cold as I prayed it wasnt what I was thinking.

I turned on the light, my fingers trembling as my breaths came out in harsh pants.

Lucid light illuminated the dark corners as I saw him disgorging the content of his stomach, emptying them in the toilet.

My heart fluttered with pain as I slowly walked to him.

"Marienne," whispered.

How did I not wake up?

Why did I not hold him when he had a nightmare?

He was shirtless, I could see the rise and fall of his shoulders.

"Marienne!" I rushed to him and knelt beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder; rubbing it to soothe him.

The curls of his jet black hair fanned his forehead his blue eyes shone with pain and tears. They were tainted red, he had been crying.

"Baby..." I gulped as I took in his unstable heaving, reaching out to touch the side of his neck.

He didnt respond.

"Marienne.... love...." I called out, once again, my heart breaking at the sight of him.

He stared at his feet, unmoving- if not for his heavy breathing, he would be as good as a statue.

His stoned stature. dear lord, it was as if he was in a war with himself.

His eyes bled in his silent pain, as his body trembled lightly.

I reached out and flushed the toilet, eliciting no reaction from him. He was sweating profusely.

His eyes held the familiar darkness, a darkness I hadnt seen in ages. I knew that look, it was clouded by the nightmares of his past.

At times I wished Marienne would have a memory loss and forget everything. Forget every single demons, his nightmares and start a new life.

Be it that he forgot me, I was a part of his nightmares too.

I wanted him to be happy.

After all these years, he deserved happiness.

I bled internally at the thought of him not being with me; I couldnt live without him.

He made me realize that I am worthy, I am precious and I was strong. This man took my broken pieces and glued it together. There were cracks, but I was full again. He completed me.

"Marienne...." I called out again.

My voice seemed to have snapped him out of his thought cloud as he silently stood up, not meeting my eyes.

I sat there, observing him.

My beast.

His back was decorated with my nail marks that complimented his tattoos, something I was proud of. He would make me forget the world and make sure the only thing in my mind was him, me crying out his name as he whispered the his dirtiest fantasies in my ear.

A drop of tear slipped as I stared at him brushing, his body still trembling, his tears still falling. He rinsed his mouth and put back his brush, ever so silently.

He didnt bother to wash his face as he wordlessly walked out of the bathroom.

I followed him shortly after, trying to contemplate the subject of his nightmares, turning the lights off on my way.

"Marienne...." I called out again, not wanting to stress him. He sat at the edge of our bed, casting his gaze downwards- a small frown latched on his forehead.

I walked to him and took a sit beside him, reaching out for his hand.

He retracted it as if I had burned him.

Utterly flabbergasted, I stared at him, my eyes widened.

"I had a nightmare....." He mumbled slowly, slowly breathing out.

I remained silent, giving him space to share.

"It w-was about that night..." My heart gave a flip as he began to tremble violently, clutching his hands together tightly, as if trying to comfort himself.

I breathed heavily as I tried to control my own tears. Marienne was my pillar, seeing him breaking down would break me also.

"About what night?" I whispered in confusion.

"Th-The night I-" He took harsh breaths as he trembled. My fingers begged me to touch him, to take him into my arms, but he didnt want me to touch him, "That night when I left you to-"

He let out a sob, his voice breaking at the end.

My eyes widened as I pinpointed it.

He was talking about the night he had those men touch me, although briefly but....

Although I forgave him a long time ago, memories did remain there. Although distinct, behind a blurred wall and buried into the back of my mind, I decided it would forever be with me like a thorn.

Forgive but never forget.

Marienne was the one who was having a hard time forgiving himself. If he was ever reminded of it, his smile would falter and a solemn look would fall upon his face. Those memories haunted him the most and he still couldnt forgive himself.

I couldnt see him suffering over it.

"Marienne I-"

"It was so disgusting.." He mumbled, "So horrible. I am a horrible human bein-"

"No," I whispered, "You are not, Marienne.."

"Why would you lie, Rose?" He whispered, "I saw that look. Th-that look of lifelessness, as if you were dead.. I never wish to see that look on you ever again."

Tears fell as I stared at him, "You looked devastated Rain. I-I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much. I did that to you."

Before he could utter another retch tore through him. Panicking, I rubbed a hand on his back, trying to comfort him.

"Marienne, its in the past." I begged in a broken voice, "Look at me, please."

Those nightmares didn't haunt me anymore.

He took them for me.

He never got past of his own nightmares.

He shook his head as he panted heavily, "It was brutal.. and I did that for that bitch.."

His hands were fisted tightly, his knuckles turning white, "I am a monster Roseline. You deserve so much more than me.. I dont deserve you..."

"Dont say that!" I cried, "You repaired me, without you I would just be a loner..."

He shook his head, "I am s-sorry. I-I dont deserve to be in front of you. I don't deserve anything. I should go back to the pit of hell, where I came from. In my inferno."

My heart thumped loudly in my ribcage as the cloud of ominousness lurked above me. Something bad was going to happen, something really bad

"Marienne, baby...." I said in a shaky voice, panicking, Take slow breaths, just like the doctor told.

"I am sorry, Rose." His voice was all but a broken plea, "I am so sorry, I am sorry for everything. Please know that I have always loved you, you are my shadow."

"Why are you talking like this?!" I cried out, exasperated and scared of what he might do.

That was when my eyes drifted off to his left hand.

The white of his gun shone under the pale yellow light.

My heart did a leap as I looked at him in panic.

"Marienne whatever is going through your head, I swear its not true-"

"Why do you give me false hope, Roseline?" He questioned.

"It's not false hope! I shook, Its true, Marienne! Let me help you! Let me salvage the demons in your head!"

He slowly looked up and met my eyes, his eyes glistening blue. The look in his eyes, it was so heartbreaking, so full of pain and vulnerability as he looked into me. It shattered me.

He gave me a smile, a smile that spoke louder than any words could ever speak. His smile was laced with bitterness and exhaustion.

My heart skipped a beat as I stared at him in horror.

"Ma-"

"You gave me a life, Roseline. Know that I am ever grateful. I am grateful for you. I am grateful that I saw you in that restaurant. I am grateful that I met you and you are the best thing that ever happened to me, rain."

Why was he talking like this is goodbye?

Tears fell as my gaze riveted back and forth between his face and the gun he was holding.

He held up a hand, probably for caressing my cheek- he always did it when I was crying.

I closed my eyes, wanting to melt under his touch, only, it never came.

I opened my eyes, his fingers were extended, but, he only held it near my face; never touching me.

He let out a small laugh, tears falling down his cheeks, retracting his hand. I looked at him longingly.

"I am setting you free, Roseline."

A moment of prolonged silence ensued.

The only sound that existed was our heavy breathing.

"What did you say?" I whispered.

Marienne gave me a smile, his dimples appearing. Suddenly, he let himself off the bed and knelt in front of me, looking into my eyes.

I gulped.

He looked hopeless.

Like a man who had lost his will to live.

He extended the gun to me, making my eyes widen.

My ears rung as my world began to buzz, I heaved, not knowing what to do.

"My life is yours to take my queen."

I cried as I shook my head frantically, not trusting my words, each of his words piercing through my soul.

"I know its too much to take. I'll distract you." He rose a bit, taking a hold of my chin, "May I give you a little kiss as you pull the trigger?"

I cried as I looked into his eyes. Why was I paralyzed? Why did my words fail me?

Just hours ago we were making love.

He caressed the side of my jaw, a drop of his tear fell on my forehead, "You wont miss me, I promise. You will find someone better, who is normal, who loves you more than the world."

I shook my head, sobbing like a child.

No one can love me as much as you do.

"But I can assure you," He panted, "No one can love you as much as I do."

Why couldnt I say anything?!

"A man who is not deranged and pathetic, a man who is as good as you."

As if I never had a vocal cord to begin with, my replies came out in loud sobs. What he was saying was outrageous, unthinkable.

He may not be the best man out there, he was a mess, but he was my mess.

My perfect flaw.

My Mariennne.

You see, if he wasnt there, there would be no me. We were each other. He was the blue to my yellow and I was the white to his black.

There is no Roseline without her Marienne.

"It hurts me to see you cry, Rose. Don't cry..." He wiped my tears, "Throughout my life, I prayed for a vulnerary, a medication- a redemption that could salvage me from my head. You are the answer to those entreaties."

Stop. Please stop.

"Roseline, you saved me," He whispered, "I don't want to see that look in your eyes ever again. Not in a thousand years. I don't want to feel like this anymore Like you are haunted. Never.."

I closed my eyes, trying to collect my breath.

The next moments passed by slowly, as if a tendril petal floating through the spring breeze.

His lips fell upon mine. I closed my eyes, welcoming him warmly, pouring everything I have ever felt for him into that kiss.

My toes tingled as bittersweet pain crawled inside me. I was rendered wordless, but I could always convey.

My throat burned as I proceeded to wrap an arm around his neck, kiss away whatever ideas possessed him.

Only to find that they were held by Marienne firmly.

I felt my fingers being curled around a cold metal, my eyes flew open as the haze of the intoxicating kiss broke- my insides alarmed in wide panic.

His lips left mine, only to skim over to my cheeks and then my ear.

"Pull it." He whispered, "End your nightmares Rose. Kill the beast who hurt you."

He pressed a firm kiss on my earlobe, "I will miss you, but, if my death means that you will not see your monster ever again; I am more than willing to give it away."

"I love you, I hate being away from you. Please be happy when I am away..."

My mind was blank.

Completely and utterly, pitch black.

My mind didnt know how to react, while my free hand pushed him away with all the might I could muster.

His eyes were widened in shock as he took me in.

My blank gaze drifted to the gun clutched in my hand. The safety was pulled out.

Dotted lights began to dance behind my lids as I stared at the vexing man.

I threw the gun away as if it was on fire and launched myself to him, engulfing him in a hug.

I started wailing like a child, into his bare chest. I held onto him as if he was my dear life. I could tell that he was taken aback, for his hands lay limp by his sides.

I buried my face into his neck, savoring his smell as I let out everything I was holding back. I cried like I had lost him.

He can never get past this can he?

My soul wrenching sobs filled the heavy atmosphere of the room as my grip tightened on him.

"Rose?"

I cried harder, still not being able to form any coherent words. I was too shocked to say anything.

I almost lost him to another of his nightmares, and this time, probably for forever.

"Rose, don't cry," I could hear the panic in his voice, "Please dont cry."

I hiccuped as I sniffled, not losing my grip.

"Y-You stupid idiot!" I panted, "You delusional selfish idiotic moron!"

I pulled back and looked into his eyes, only to find the darkness he held in them a while ago dissipated.

"You coward!" I spat through the tears, "You want to leave me alone?!"

His expression widened in surprise before he opened his mouth to protest, "N-No thats not-"

"You want to leave me?!" I fumed, "After all these- all these shits we have gone through. you suddenly decide you arent good enough for me?! Why try to make amends at all huh? Why did you approach me in the first place?! What happened to your promise? What happened to our forever Marienne?! ANSWER ME!"

He flinched and hung his head, as if in shame.

"Did you not think about us for a moment?" I whispered, "What we shared for past three years, it was ethereal. You worship my scars as if they are beauty marks, you make me forget that I am broken and you take away the pain of my loss, my baby boy."

I gulped as a knot formed in my throat, How did you even think-

"I wanted to free you from your nightmares."

"You free me from my nightmares already," I whispered, my heart thrumming loudly in my ribcage, "Without you, I would just be a jumbled mess of nightmares."

"Rose....." He looked at me, his eyes shone with so many emotions I couldnt pinpoint.

"Never do that again," I pleaded, "I love you Marienne and nothing could ever change that, we dont have the most romantic history, neither a dreamy start like one of those couples- we have flaws. You arent perfect, I am not perfect-"

"But you are-" He cut in.

And our story is flawed, but, you see, we complete each other. It was how it was meant to be. We have each other, in our arms, does anything else matter?

He pondered on it for a moment and then slowly shook his head.

"Don't run away again when you have nightmares," I whispered as I caressed his jaw softly, thanking whoever was up there for my reflex at the right time, "Hold me, wake me up, talk to me. Memories are something you cant erase, it will always remain- we can just pretend to over look it if we truly wish to move on. We can make love until the dawn or we can play chess."

His eyes fell on my lips.

We dont have the greatest history together, but we are together- and that is what matters hm-

My speech was cut short as his lips dawned upon mine. He kissed me slowly, gently as if he was revering me. He allowed me to savour his pain, his love for me.

It tasted bitter, it tasted salty, it tasted like the sweetest thing in the whole world.

He was intoxicating and I didn't wish for this to end.

I traced my fingers softly over his neck, assuring him that I was here.

He let out a soft breath as he slowly nibbled on my lower lip.

This moment was like a shard of snowflake, more perfect that anything.

My heart throbbed in pain, in pleasure- the string that bounded us, tied together even tighter. It wasnt a bond to be snapped.

He pulled back and stared into my eyes.

"I am sorry for making you cry," He whispered, "I will try harder."

"You already do your best, Marienne and I couldn't be happier baby.." I smiled, "You are already perfect."

"I am not," He argued like a defiant child.

I rolled my eyes as I placed a kiss on his jaw, "You are. Don't go around doing stupid shit like that again."

I saw his Adams apple bob up and down. I frowned, "Is there anything you want to say to me?"

He nodded meekly.

"Go on," I whispered curiously.

He pressed his lips into a thin line before he took a deep breath, muttering, "Roseline, mar-"

Before he could finish that sentence, his phone rung from the nightstand. I heard him curse under his breath as I frowned and reached out for it. I extended it to him, eyeing him curiously.

He took the call and pressed it to his ears, not averting his gaze from me.

"Victor," He grumbled.

The voice on the other line answered.

From the deep baritone, I could tell that it was a man.

His frown deepened as the voice from the other side continued to speak.His expression changed from confused, to enraged. His jaw locked as he cut the call, throwing away the phone.

He rubbed his face as he muttered more profanities in French.

Worried, I placed a hand on his bicep, making him look up at me.

"What happened? Is it serious?" I questioned.

"Do you remember when I told you that I closed DuPonts business when I came to know that Madeline was taken as a captive there?"

I nodded wordlessly, my throat becoming dry at the mention of the name.

"I instructed to set the whole building on fire after evicting the children, I literally burned them into ashes after I rendered them bankrupt; but there was one person I could never get a hold of."

My heart jumped in my ribcage as I looked at him, Was it-

He chuckled darkly, "I searched heaven and hell for DuPont himself. I couldn't get a hold of him."

Those nightmares.

Those screams.

The man responsible behind it, was probably alive and breathing..

"Why didnt you tell me earlier?" I looked at him in horror.

"I didn't want to add more to your nightmares," He confessed softly, "I was searching for him in secret; the thing is, this man might be in underworld and I could have no idea. I reached out to my best connections and couldn't get a hold."

My breath hitched.

"After all these years, someone calls me and says that he knows where DuPont is. He knows his whereabouts and he is willing to give it all to me, but theres a condition."

I gulped as I asked the next question, fear lacing my voice, "What condition?"

"He wants Lunaire."

My eyes widened in horror, "No! Absolutely not! We can't-"

"That man was Ivanov, Roseline. He says Lunaire is a key to the master behind Dupont. And he also says something.."

"He has our photos."

So, Our journey have finally come to an end.

And another journey starts.

VENGEANCE might be just another book for you. You like it, you didn't like it; you loved it, you hated it; but for me, it was a journey.

Throughout this journey I have met some of the most amazing people, whom I remember by heart, who were really supportive of me. I cannot thank you enough for the endless love you showed for VENGEANCE.

I love each and every one of you, your immense support and your endless love. I have decided to call my readers butterflies because they hold a special place in my book. They also symbolises hope and freedom. I would like to say you guys are my hope and the colour to this book.

Thank you once again! I will miss you! My Instagram, Twitter is @Ssybahz. Connect with me if you wanna talk! I am one DM away. I update a lot of things there, so do follow me if you wanna be notified of everything from beforehand. Take love, stay happy, healthy and blessed! <3

Edited.