"There ain't no sin and there ain't no virtue. There's just stuff people do."

— John Steinbeck (The Grapes of Wrath)

Rose's POV:

Friscalating sun's ray poured through the blurred window as it lit up the spacious bathroom in a comely glow.

A sigh of content escaped me as I shifted in the warm bath, taking in a deep breath to savor the vanilla scent that wafted around the bathroom. It had been quite a while since I emerged myself in here, but the tub was self-heating so it was okay for me to waste my time.

The warm vapor of the lukewarm bath water made me luxuriate in the moment a little bit more. It was like a piping hot cup of tea- every bit of it was meant to be enjoyed and it's remnant was meant to be enjoyed like a beautiful trice.

Two days had passed by since that night.

Throughout these two days, I didn't have a single sight nor an inkling of Marienne. It seemed as if he had vanished into thin air- just like that.

The next morning, it had dawned upon me that how unjust and rude had I been in my behavior. But then again, he kissed me without my consent so he couldn't protest even if I hit him the balls.

I wished to talk to him and come back on friendlier terms with him, but he never appeared or showed himself. Yesterday, I even approached Lindy who didn't seem to like me. She only answered by- "He never tells me where he goes."

The fact that he wasn't home for two days then was known to me. I remember being shocked at the revelation and Lindy's unbothered face only added to that.

However, Mama Cassedy and Calissa were to visit me today. That was the sole reason why I had been sitting in the bathtub for two hours, I didn't wish to deal with their questions.

The pain in my spine got acuter as the days went by. My next appointment was tomorrow and it couldn't come sooner. Marienne had actually offered his company for the next visit- but I had denied it politely as I had some privacy concerns. Still, I had this gut feeling that he would show up.

A loud knock echoed in the large room, startling me. I sat straight and brought the bubbles closer to me so that they covered my naked body. Vociferating a small "Come in", I leaned back.

The glass door opened as a maid came in. She bowed to me slightly, although I was unsure why was she bowing at me.

"Your mother and your sister has notified you of their visit, mam. They are chatting with Madame Lindy. Your sister dem-"

"WHERE IS SHE HIDING?!"

I flinched as the voice resonated through my bedroom. The maid gave me an apologetic look and I smiled at her reassuringly in return- knowing that if Calissa had her mind set on anything, no one, I mean no one could stop her.

"ROSEL!!! COME OUT!!" She hollered as she let herself in the bathroom. She let her gaze roam around, a huge smile plastered on her face. I noticed that she had gotten a bit bulkier.

As her gaze fell upon me, her obnoxious smile got ever bigger. She happily ran to me, bumping slightly into the maid in the process, which made the petite red head woman stumble.

"Rosel! Look at you! All comfy and taking a bath! It smells nice in here..... should I join you?"

I noticed the maid squirming through the corner of my eyes. Looking at her, I nodded at her dismissively. Then I narrowed my eyes at Calissa, who had a hopeful look in her eyes.

"Calissa?"

"So I can join?"

"Get out."

My expression flattened. I hated it the most when someone barged in me while I was bathing. She pouted, protruding her eyes.

"I am bathing, Calissa. Get out."

"But-"

"You do know that you have a bath in your room, right?" I deadpanned, eyeing her boredly.

Her eyes lit up like a bulb as her mouth fell open, "I h-have a bath?"

"Yes."

"OH WOW!!" She squealed, fisting her hands like some sort of teenage girl, "Why didn't they tell it earlier?!"

I eyed her with an 'are you serious?' look as I placed my head over my fisted hand- a huff of annoyance escaping me. "Seriously? Cally, you are not a dumbass bitch, how did you not figure it out?"

"Oh."

She began to fidget nervously as she looked around, biting her lips. "Do you want to get out?" I questioned, annoyed at this ordeal.

She nodded her head embarrassingly. "I want to take a bath."

"And you ran straight to me instead of checking your room properly?"

She hesitated and then slowly nodded.

Another loud huff escaped me as she smiled sheepishly.

"Go."

She threw one last smile at me before letting herself out hurriedly.

A sigh escaped me as I took it as my cue to leave. The yellowish bath water had now turned almost transparent and my skin was frizzed. I stood up, and grabbed my towel, wrapping it around myself.

I hated being naked. Nakedness reminded me of my scars and scars brought out memories. I wished I could get rid of them, I wished I could throw them away like a chewing gum, but I couldn't- they were stuck on me and sucking out my life power every single moment- like leeches.

I wished I could be as confident as some other women of my age, I wished I wouldn't remian in the captivity of these traumas forever. I was 28 and I was turning 29.

I wish I could do a lot of things- like enjoying a simple walk on a crowded bridge. But even the slightest touch provoked me.

I put on a light green dress and made my way out of the bathroom- anxious about the visit. There were a lot of things I couldn't share with mama and there were a lot of things that I couldn't wait to share with Calissa.

Upon entering my bedroom, the first thing I noticed was mama Cassedy sitting on my bed, wearing a gentle smile as light glimmered in her eyes.

A rush of euphoria engulfed me as I let out a shrill and almost ran to her. She let out a laugh as she opened her arms wide- I jumped in them.

"Mommy!" Suddenly, my throat began to clog up as my heart began to palpitate painfully. It had been long- I missed her so much. I wrapped her in a bear hug as I snuggled in her embrace, burying my nose into her shoulders and taking in her old lady smell. She let out another laugh as she patted my back gently.

"Mommy I missed you!" I sniffled, feeling tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh dios, I missed you too...." She let out a breath as I felt myself relax in her embrace, feeling safe in her arms.

She was the woman who was my real savior.

She saved me.

She repaired me.

But Marienne broke you again...

"Okay enough.." Mama pulled back, she was smiling brightly, "Tell me, what is going on with you recently?"

What was going on with me?

"I am fine, mommy..." I smiled, hiding the pain behind my smile, "You don't need to worry at all. Marienne takes good care of me."

She raised an eyebrow, doubting me, "Really?"

I nodded, "Yes, mama. He is as caring as a soon to be father can be. He also loves the baby..." I smiled to myself at the last part.

Marienne did care for the baby a lot. He was trying everything he could do in order to make me happy and it melted my heart. I could see a good father in him.

He was trying his hardest not to become like his own father.

He had demons as well and his demons morphed him into the compassionate soon-to-be father he was today.

"Oh!" Mama suddenly exclaimed, stars shinning in her eyes, "You are in love! I had doubts but I could clearly see it in your eyes!"

I narrowed my eyes, irritated at her behavior, all my happiness vanishing within a moment. I was aware of the fact that she didn't know anything and it was not her fault- but she was behaving like a typical mom.

"Mom- I am don't even like him, much less being in lo-"

"Then how did this baby come?" She looked at me teasingly.

I gulped as my throat suddenly started to become dry. I knew that I had to comprehend a reply, but my mind was too jumbled up to come up with anything.

If only you knew some maid drugged us....

"Oh come on!" She smirked, "You don't have to be shy."

I breathed, scolding myself internally.

"Let me tell you a story..." She grabbed my frozen hands tightly before continuing, "When I found you at the age of six, you were too scared, shocked and traumatized to say anything. You wouldn't even let me near you when I wanted to feed you or bath you. It took a long time for me to get into a contact with you....

...But this man.." Mama stopped as she wiped out tears from her eyes, "You let this man touch you. I am so glad that you did! Maybe you have found your comfort with him... maybe that is the reason why you let him touch you. I am so glad, Rose. So happy that he is helping you out."

I felt dizzy.

But her words were heavy. They made me think, contemplate. Although, I did let him touch me it wasn't because we were hopelessly in love with each other. I didn't shy away from it, but still I wasn't conscious.

So wasn't he.

It was too much, way too much for me.

"I see you are here, madam..." Lindy spoke up from the doorway, our head snapping at the direction of the voice.

She wore her usual made costume, her face displayed zero emotions as she eyed me. She curtsied briefly, letting herself in.

Thank god.

I gulped as I eyed Lindy, she had her gaze fixated on my mother- who smiled at her gently. For some reason, Lindy seemed more stoic than months ago. If not for her face, I would have mistaken her as another woman. She didn't talk much, I often heard her shouting to other maids for no reason. She also seemed aloof to Marienne, which irritated me to no end, because she let me get tortured all those months ago and didn't do anything about it because of Marienne.

What happened to her?

I almost missed that gentle woman who was like my mama in many aspects, the key word being almost because she was an old lady with a sweet tongue. Somewhere underneath that, she had a kind heart, but still, I cannot forgive her for not letting me escape and standing up for me when she could easily do it.

"It is almost suppertime, madam.." She smiled, although it seemed forced, "Please have something at the diner."

Mama gave her a sheepish smile. "May I join you a while later?"

"Sure mam.." She mumbled, looking exhausted, "But please be sure to have some snacks before dinner. If monsieur hears that you were unwelcomed, he is going to throw a tantrum."

"Welp, if it hurts your monsieur then sure....." Mama sighed, getting up, "I can't deny a warm welcome. Besides, we arrived at an ungodly hour. It's neither lunch nor dinner."

I nodded at her, signaling her to follow Lindy, who was still eyeing me strangely. Mama gave me a gentle smile and followed Lindy who let herself and mama out in no time.

A sigh of relief escaped me, Lindy's cold eyes made me shiver. Why was she looking at me like that?

"This is weird..." I mumbled as I laid back on the bed, a moan of delight escaping me as I felt my back muscles straighten.

"What is weird?" A grave voice grumbled, making me jolt up straight.

With wide eyes and shocked expression, I stared at Marienne who had a frown etched on his features. He slowly walked over to me- this was the first time I saw him without shirt.

He was wearing a simple black t-shirt and a pair of trousers. His hair was ruffled, like he had came up straight from a slumber. It made him look.... ravishing.

"I don't know...." He came over the bed and plopped himself beside me, eyeing me curiously, "Lindy seems odd at her behavior. Why is that?"

A sigh escaped him as he ran a hand through his hair, "She has been off lately. I don't know why."

I raised an eyebrow, "You are like the closest one here to her, right?"

"Yes, I am.." He nodded. For the first time, I noticed the dark circles that formed around his eyes. Although it did dampen his beauty a little, he was still handsome.

"And..."

"Lindy has history okay?" Marienne mumbled, eyeing my protruding belly.

I pursed my lips.

Now I am an inquisitive girl and I was curious about everything. I wanted to know about Lindy and her past- Marienne was offering it on a gold platter...

Marienne pressed a hand over my belly and sighed as his gaze softened, "I missed the little one. Rose, do you wish to hear about Lindy?"

I nodded vigorously as stars shone in my eyes, excitement running through my veins, "Yes please!"

Are you excited to know about Lindy?

rewritten

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