EXCITED!! PLAY THE SONG TO GET THE FEEL>

"Holding Eleanor's hand was like holding a butterfly. Or a heartbeat. Like holding something complete, and completely alive."

- Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)

You don't have to worry about fate finding out about us. The sea has erased those footprints we left through our journey.

Rose's POV:

The call of sea roared along the shore, the birds took a fight to their nests. It was twilight, it was the end of another day.

Stars beamed at us as the dark cloak of night fell, they christened the darkness like scattered glitter.

Flurries of breeze blew, carrying the misty, salty, refreshing smell of the vast ocean. The hypnagogic scenery made my heart flutter with nervousness; I didn't know why did it came upon me.

"I... never celebrated my birthday since high school.." Marienne trailed off, one of his hand was stuffed in his suit pant, his jet black hair came just below his neck, his shoulders broad as he stood tall, unforgiving- but a hint of vulnerability that radiated off him, didn't go unnoticed. His loose shirt fluttered along with the breeze as his gaze mingled along with the vast horizon as he stared in the distant ocean blue.

He tilted his head, his eyes that seemed black under the night, shone softly as he stared at me. "Madeline always tried to do something..... but celebrating birthdays were always overrated for me."

I tilted my head in amusement, his choice of words making me smile, "Overrated? Is that how you gonna explain birthdays?"

"Birthdays are for those who wants to believe that they have done something in their life.... as for me, I already know that I have done a lot of things in my life. I don't need a cake to boost my confidence."

I let out a laugh at the crudeness of his words. "You have a weird sense of humor."

He pinned me down with a stare, "It's the truth."

"Huh..." I huffed as I gazed at the ocean, a melancholic feeling creeping up inside me as I took in the mass of nothingness, my hands automatically crossing over my chest, "If you think that is what birthdays are for, you are direly wrong."

"I am not."

"You are..." I smiled, "Usually birthdays are celebrated to congratulate a person for surviving another year in this world. They are simply meant to remind the person that they are important."

A moment of silence passed, engulfing us like the darkness that surrounded us.

"This is one of the best places for star gazing...." He stated after a moment, his voice laced with disillusion.

The mistral morphed into a fierce zephyr, the waves of the ocean ran along, atoning itself to the rocks of the shore.

"Don't you think its particularly windy today?" I wondered, eyeing the suicidal waves.

"I wished to say it...." Suddenly, his warm hand grabbed mine in a tight grip, leaving me at appalled abandon. I slowly turned to him, too dumbfounded to say anything.

The blaze of something warm and something cold and something raw tingled along, embedding itself into my skin. I sucked in a breath, looking into his eyes.

"They have a bench there....." He pulled me to the opposite direction where the bench should supposedly be, "Come."

"Marienne" No avail. He only pulled me along with him as he strode through the veldt, I could feel the enthusiasm diffusing from him, from his very being as we marched past the wind and ocean mist.

A blue hued light came into my view as he stopped in front of a bench. It had a shade over it, the blue light that was set on the awning, radiated the shine brilliantly.

"We can seat here as we observe the sky...." He trailed off, looking up above the sky with a full on toothy smile, "If you are cold that is."

"I mean...." I looked around, my heart jolting in nervousness, "Being cold is not a problem..."

"Great..." He took a seat, patting the blank place beside him, "Take a seat. Be my guest."

I smiled at him.

This man..... who would say he hid monsters underneath.....

He looked so normal. So.... so... so normal. It scared me.

I took a seat beside him, keeping our distance. This little action of mine didn't go unnoticed, much to my dismay. It seemed to dishearten him as I noticed him averting his gaze. It bothered me as well, but I wasn't over my fear I had for him.

"I....." He blurted out, making me look at his direction. His head was casted downwards, his fists clenched, "I know.... I have done some wrong things. I should be ashamed, for even wanting to talk to you. But please know that I am trying. I am trying at the best of my capability."

I am angry, but sad at the same time. I don't know what to do.

Maybe if I let him know exactly what I felt.....

Maybe then, this bond of ours could work. Honesty was the charm here.

"I am trying too Marienne." I looked away, zeroing my gaze into the bioluminescent, reluctant ocean waves, "I am trying too, you have to admit it."

He beamed into my eyes, "I kn-"

"If you do...." I let out a sigh, "Then why do you make it seem like you don't? Tell me Marienne, if you were to associate with a man who tortured you just for the sake of your child, what would you do?"

It was very rude of me, I, by no means was trying to be impolite with him, but the words left my mouth, before I could compose them. They left a dent, even to my heart. My head snapped to him.

He flinched, his proud posture shrinking, indicating to his shamefulness.

Words are powerful, they cut deeper than swords, but it was too late to take back what was spoken.

"I..... I didn't mean to...."

"It's okay..." He whispered, shaking his head, "It's okay. The truth won't change if you dress it with fancy words. I can...." He gulped, his hands were quivering, "I can.... take it."

He didn't seem like he could take it.

The way his body was quivering, the way his clenched fists were shaking- he wasn't okay.

Guilt surged through me, consuming my insides with it's roaring flame. What I was saying was true, I was brutally honest, but being insensitive was not like me.

"You are right...." He cleared his throat, "I was..... I guess I was so lost..... I assumed that you have come close to forgiving me."

An unintentional laugh escaped me, making him shrink further.

Was he serious?

"Marienne.. I haven't given it a thought even. Look..." I stared right at him. He was gripping the hem of his shirt tightly, his head casted downwards. "I told you, maybe one day? When time will be enough to heal my wounds. But I don't think I can forgive you now. I know it's a lot to digest, but please understand."

He let out a breath.

"This child...." I pressed a hand over my belly, "It's ours. This is what connects us, but, apart from it- we don't know about each other that much-"

"Then let's know about each other."

He looked up, his gaze met mine. His eyes were sad as they shone brighter than ever under the blue light. The desperation in his voice didn't go unnoticed by me.

I threw him a pained smile.

I can make an effort but-

There was always a but.

Talking about it hurt. It hurt a lot. I was trying my best to forget, to bury the diabolic side of him into the back of my mind- but.....

"Marienne." I gulped as I scooted a bit closer to him, "Let's not talk about it. We are fighting our barriers. We can only hope that...." I placed my left hand over his shaking right one. He looked up, taken aback.

Emotions unfurled inside me as I began to stroke his tensed fist with my thumb, soothing him silently, "We can only hope that we come to better terms. I want us to be familiar. It should irritate me to say this but weirdly it doesn't.... I-" I gulped, closing my eyes as warmth began to creep up my cheeks, "I think I have become more comfortable around you."

The precipice of the deep agony that resided in both of our hearts- got even deeper, even more unescapable, like a dearth of a blackhole. The fire in my heart collided with the coldness of the wind, blazing and washing me- purifying my being in a sacred fire.

Even though we were close, we were miles apart. We were two people, who were running with their life in their hands to cover that distance.

A smile lit up his face, he never looked more breathtaking. My heart did a flip, so did my stomach.

"I am glad."

Why did you bring me here today?

I wanted to ask. Oh how desperately I wanted to ask that out loud!

But, there was a barrier between us. Just like the barrier that separated dream and reality, this barrier separated us.

We were almost antagonistic, just like fantasy and entity.

I kept my gaze on him, my eyes widened. He, too, was observing me silently, his turquoise eyes shining unapologetically.

"It seems like I can only pray now...." He whispered, his voice laced with assailable grace.

"Pray for what?" I, too, couldn't find my voice. A gust of wind blew, ruffling both of our hairs as we stared at each other, deciphering each other. A downpour was to take place soon.

"Pray for...." He stopped abruptly, his gaze travelled to my lips.

The pounding of my heart became louder in my ears.

His eyes slowly returned in my eyes, a smirk lit up his face as a mischievous glint slowly made it's way into his eyes. "Nothing."

He looked away, the moment that veiled us like magic, evaporated into thin air. I stared at him, dumfounded.

"Roseline?"

"Huh?"

"Care to tell about yourself?" He rasped, sending shivers down my spine.

"You were saying we barely know each other...." He turned to me, his eyes holding warmth like I had never seen, "Let's get to know each other."

I could feel a shock of blush creeping up my cheeks, "What do you want to know?"

"Everything that you can offer."

"Well..... let's see..." His words filled my insides with warmth. I could applaud him for trying. "I went to a culinary school, I am a simple person, I like rain and I like spicy foods."

He frowned, as if dissatisfied with my response, "That's it?"

I smiled, nodding, "That's it. I am one of the most undramatic, simplest girl that exists there. I also have an anorexic tendency."

He gasped in horror. A laugh escaped me as his face morphed into a hilarious expression. "Anorexic? You are with my child!"

"I meant before the child-" I let out a chuckle, "Don't worry. Your son eats a lot."

"I am proud-" He smiled smugly as he put a hand over my baby bump. Warmth bloomed in my chest as I took his smiling face.

He is beautiful.

"Eat a lot, like your dad. Your mom's no good..." He cooed at the baby as he caressed the bump gently.

"Excuse me?!" I mock gasped, pretending to be offended, "What are you teaching him?"

He raised an eyebrow, "The truth?"

My mouth fell open as I hit his bicep lightly, "You can't say that!"

He raised his nose as a sign of defiance. "You can't blame me for being truthful. I am simply the better one."

How offensive!

"Yeah, self-proclaimed dad of the year!"

He let out a hearty laugh. The sound of it was mellifluous and infectious. I began to laugh along with him, the sound of it echoed along the roars of deranged waves.

He stopped, staring at me as I continued to laugh, "Roseline?"

"Hmm?" I looked into his eyes.

"We haven't decided a name for our son."

Realization dawned upon me as I stared at him in shock. It was true, we didn't indeed set a name for our child.

"That would be the first thing we do after we reach home." I stated, nodding firmly at him.

He pursed his lips, the hint of smile still remaining on his face as he beamed at the ocean, staring at the sky.

"The stars are so beautiful tonight."

I leaned back on the bench, making myself comfortable, "They are always beautiful."

"No..." He shook his head, copying my gesture, though abstractedly, "There are certain occasions when stars seem more ethereal than they are. One can't decipher it if one isn't happy."

"When did your stars shine brightly?" I tilted my head at him, gazing at him softly.

"My stars?" He stared at the picturesque sky, contemplating, "They shone when my dad passed away. They shone when Madeline came into my life."

"You were happy... when your dad passed?" The question itself was kinda outrageous. It hurt my throat to even articulate those words. It was a question consisting of simple words, yet it was heavy enough to shatter a heart.

He seemed to ponder over the question for a while and then nodded, slowly, ever so slightly. I would have missed it if I didn't have my gaze already fixated upon him.

"Can you blame me?" He inquired after a minute's silence, "I was a kid who got his freedom from his dad. A dad who used to cut him. Would you blame me?"

I shook my head, knowing that he could see it from his peripheral.

"I... was always afraid of him..." He mumbled, "Even though it saddened me to an extent, but the fear conquered over any other feelings I might have for him. Now, as a businessman, I do look up to him. As a parent? Not a chance in hell."

The sky seemed awfully transparent, yet I could sense the gerontogeous clouds lurking behind the darkness. The andromeda was visible, I could make out many constellations.

Time seemed to have stopped as we sat beside each other, star gazing and possibly pondering mindlessly over the present. We were aware of the hide and seek we were playing with each other, yet we were informed about each other.

"I am glad you are trying to be a better dad..." I whispered, my voice carried out the increasing wind.

A small smile lit up his face.

"Thank you."

A cricket jumped over from behind the bench and landed just in front of me. It's dark green eyes were curious as they looked up to me, as if assessing me.

It jumped here and there, to and fro for a while, and then, it halted- just beside my right toe which was sandaled.

"I wish they had a piano here..." Marienne trailed off as he closed his eyes, breathing in the salty air.

Curiosity unfurled in me as I frowned at him questioningly. His collar bone and Adam's apple became more prominent as he tilted his head- the shadow of his sharp jaw making him look more beautiful than he already was.

"You play piano?" I queried, taken aback. What more could he do?

"I don't actually..." He sighed, "I only know a piece or two. Never had the leisure of learning it properly."

"Really?" I smiled as excitement bloomed within me, "Which ones?"

"Let's see...." He opened his eyes. Loose hair strands fell over his eyes that were considerably soft as they took in the bright stars, "Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata', I: Adagio Sostenuto, Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus.... oh and probably one of the most famous piece ever, Heart and Soul."

"Heart and Soul?" I wondered loudly, "I think I have heard about it somewhere...."

He let out a laugh, making me look at him, "If someone claims that they know how to play piano and plays one song, there's a ninety percent chance that it is 'Heart and Soul'. It is by Hoagy Charmichael and Frank Loesser."

"Wow...." I let out a breath, assessing him with awe, "You know the backstory as well?"

He smiled at me, "I learnt them because of their backstory and for impressing girls. 'Heart and Soul' was the easiest way to start off...."

I let out a throaty laugh, through amused, "So you learnt classical pieces to impress girls? I am sure you didn't need it."

"I learnt that later on...." He shook his head, his body reverberated with laughter, "But still, I take a great interest in classical piano pieces. I wish I could play them, this is a perfect environment for playing it."

"Why don't you narrate me the backstories?"

"Well...." He bit his lips, turning his gaze to the sky, "Beethoven's Moonlight sonata was composed in the memory of a girl, who was blind and poor. One night he was wandering alone and came across her immaculate music. It pained him when he came to know that the girl was devoid of the luxury to witness. It was later revealed to the disguised Beethoven that the girl took a liking to his pieces. In the memory of the moonlight and his pain, he wrote his 'Moonlight Sonata.'"

"So, the girl was a fan and it hurt him that she couldn't see?"

"Precisely."

"So, he was a musician with compassion....." I stated, my eyes wandered off to him, where I found him already staring at me, "What?"

He shook his head, "Mozart and Liszt's Ave Verum Corpus was originally composed by Mozart when his wife was about to give birth to his sixth child..." He averted his gaze to my baby bump, a look of love making it's way into his eyes, "I learnt it when I was in university. Although I never told Madeline this, I learnt it so that I could play it to my child one day. I guess, I have that leisure now."

I smiled at him fondly, my throat constricting with thousands of emotions, "Marienne. That's amazing, I know our son would love it."

"One thing more...." He smiled at me slyly, "You didn't ask how could Beethoven 'hear' whereas he was allegedly deaf..."

I gasped, shock rolling through me, "I completely forgot he was deaf!"

He let out a hearty laugh, looking carefree and boyish, "That's because he could hear some sounds until 1812 and Moonlight Sonata was composed in 1801."

"How did you remember all this?" I mean, I could see why he claimed to be charming and popular among girls. He was charming, but the eclipse of fate has overshadowed it with monsters.

"Big brain perks...." He huffed, standing up abruptly, "I want to show you the sea.... Come."

He extended his hand with hopes that I would take it.

I let my eyes linger over it for a moment and then entwined my fingers with his, firmly.

He led us to the edge where the waves rested. They had become louder and more ferocious- wilder as they commenced.

"I want to take a picture...." He whispered as he fished something out of his pocket. I narrowed my eyes on it, smiling softly.

Our story was a mess, but yet, it seemed so perfectly flawed.

"It's going to be our first picture...." He smiled brightly as he stood beside me, lifting the phone up, "Smile, Roseline. You will look prettier."

A blush crept up my cheeks as I stared into the lens. Suddenly, a strong arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. I smiled broadly as he clicked the first image.

"Now the sky...." He moved and aimed the phone at the sky, framing the marveling phenomenon. I stared up, taking in the finest masterpiece that was nature's artwork.

"Beautiful..." He uttered a while later, making me look at him. He was smiling at his screen, I could sense the adoration that rolled from him.

So, he loved sky. Just like me.

He smiled as he closed his phone, stuffing it back into his pocket. "I think it's gonna rain, Rose.." He professed, looking straight at me, "Do you want to soak?"

I nodded vigorously, a smile crept up my lips, "Of course!"

Our story was a beautiful mess.

A thunder strike lit up the entire grass field, the purple light reflecting over the ocean. The stars hid behind the clouds as they flew from several directions.

The plants of the xyst began to move, dancing along with the wind. The gusts turned into strong current as I let out a laugh.

The atmosphere made me remember a lot of things.

"Marienne?" I called out cheerfully.

"Hmm?"

"Do you have a favorite poem?"

"I do..." He trailed off, "Lord Byron's Childe Harold, canto IV, verse 178."

I assessed him, "I remember liking it too when I read it."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow, "That's shocking...."

"What?" I stated smugly, "Didn't think someone could be a classic lover like you?'

He shook his head being brutally honest.

I let out a laugh as the zephyr morphed into a string current. Thunder storm resonated somewhere near, making me yelp in excitement.

"It's going to rain!" I exclaimed in glee, looking up at the sky as my hair flew to and fro.

"It is."

The clouds began to fly, from all the directions, hiding the bright tars under its gloominess. The mystique smell of the sea got stronger as I looked up with a grin.

I looked at Marienne, who had his eyes fixated on me as he assessed me with a strange look. A shiver ran down my spine as I felt my heartbeat getting stronger.

"Marienne?"

The first drop of rain fell on my forehead. Then it began to drizzle, drenching me all over. A smile crept up my lips as I soaked into the rain.

"It's beautiful!" I expressed my awe as I looked into the ocean where the rain drops disappeared into the vastness of the huge waterbody.

"It is."

I looked at Marienne, who suddenly had this vulnerable look on his face, he seemed torn, like he was emerged in a battle with himself.

"Marienne?" I called out, the sound of the mellifluous rain wavering into the roars of the sea.

"I am going to do something....." He took a slow, hesitant step to me, his head casted downwards, his fists clenched, "You might not like it...."

I looked at him with my brows furrowed, the rain drenching us.

His white shirt clung to his body, accentuating every single contour. It became transparent....

I blushed.

Fragments of memories from that night played in my mind.

He took a step to me, eliminating the hairbreadth distance between us. His hand came up, he grasped my chin lightly and tilted my head.

"Scold me, fight me..... just..... fuck!"

It was a blur.

The clouds flew in the sky, rushing and marching throughout the black azure in the euphoria of the euphonic rain. The rain mackled my already blurred vision. My eyelids began to quiver in bliss as I closed them.

It was like a fire. A fire and a blizzard.

His lips were gentle, succulent, lascivious.

I stood there, frozen to my core.

These feelings, these messy yet, organized feelings..... blue, black, green, red danced under my closed lids like a kaleidoscope. The string of my soul was tugged as he pulled onto them- calling out to me.

Like fire and water, his lips were warm and cold as it sent delicious tremors down my spine. I was petrified, I was terrified, yet, it was weirdly soothing.

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,

There is a rapture on the lonely shore....

The stanzas of our favorite poem rang in my ears. I was quivering, from the bliss and shock his lips brought upon mine, from all this unfurled emotions inside me.

I could taste his pain through the kiss, I could taste his sadness in the kiss, I could taste his tears the intermingled with the rain water in this kiss.

I could taste him.

Why was I not pushing him away?

Shouldn't I be disgusted by him?

Our souls were like a broken string. Broken, but tied together by this cruel phenomenon called 'Destiny'.

The string that brought us closer, bounded us. The euphonic sound of the rain mingled with the roaring waves of the sea.

My own tears escaped as I felt all these emotions all together.

Sadness?

Happiness?

I felt like a walking blank space.

Him and me, me and him.

His strong arms wrapped around my waist, steadying me. My limbs were leaden, yet, I felt light headed. So light that I felt I could fly through the sky.

I could float..... float and float...

He was kissing me.

He was an excellent kisser.

Shivers ran down my body as I took what he had to offer, standing there frozen.

Why did it feel like a union of our spirits?

His lips moved, harmonising with the sea waves as they roared in vigour. They were slow, afraid as they ravished me gently.

I felt light, I felt robbed off my consciousness.... I couldn't comprehend a simple word. It felt like I was a piano and he played my emotions perfectly, like a professional pianist.

It was so elegiac, so heartbreakingly elegiac- it was painful. I could feel his heart beating wildly in his ribcage, as I could feel mine. The stupid organ was clenching painfully as I felt my own tears slip.

Why was I crying?

Was it because I could feel his pain?

Was it because he let me know the of the mass of the darkness that resided in his heart?

Was it because he looked so pitiful, as if, he was desperately searching for a drop of light?

Why? What made this kiss agonizingly alluring?

Why wasn't I disgusted?

He led the kiss, coaxing my lips open as I stood there, tasting him and rain on his lips, what he had to offer.

He pulled back with a small peck as he resided his forehead on mine, the sounds of our breathing mingling with the thrumming sound of rain.

"Today....." He whispered as I opened my eyes, looking into his ocean blue eyes that shone with so many emotions, "The stars shone bright.... too."

My eyes widened as shock coursed through me, the reality finally setting in my jumbled brain.

My body was drained, my soul felt strained, still, with what was left of the energy- I mustered it and pushed him hard, making him stumble, "Never touch me, ever again."

I pinned him with an icy glare. A feeling of vertigo making it's way through me as I turned around with my fists clenched and began to walk in the opposite direction, leaving him in contemplation.

So, 60 chapters for a kiss, yet, I think it's still early. Do you think it's early?

Was it worth it?

What do you think? Was Rose right to push him away?

The poem they were talking about. You're welcome lazy asses.

Please vote, comment and follow. It really helps a lot.

Much love!!!

Edited.