Okay, so my friend was asking if I have any ship name for my characters. TBH, the idea of having ship names never crossed my mind considering how serious this story is and I really don't understand what is the purpose of it, but still, I can't deprive you.

So, for this book, if I had to choose names for Marienne and Rose it would be #Marise

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars."

― Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

Rose's POV:

My childhood wasn't exactly the best, in fact, it was one of the worst. The epoch I was supposed to spend frolicking and joying around, was spent at apprehension, constantly fearing the beating that was bound to come later on.

I had three families, the first one had perished in an unfortunate accident, the second one snatched away my childhood. The memories that were supposed to be painted with glee and happiness; radiating the innocent color of childhood, was tainted by nightmares.

Nightmares that would make Beelzebub shiver.

I thought I was finally happy when my third family came around, a family consisting of only two members, me and this woman called Cassedy, who saved me, repaired me and filled me with hope for new life.

Apparently, it was decided that I wasn't supposed to have my happy life yet.

I was kidnapped, abused, tormented by a man who claimed me to be his fiancée's murderer. A fiancée who later turned out to be my long lost foster sister, a sister who suddenly came to be fond of me.

A baby.

My hollow of an existence finally seemed to have a meaning, a purpose. A sententious ray of warmth caressed my spirit that day when I found out I was pregnant, that was the very day I had realized that, I would have to live on. I would have to live, even if it wasn't for me.

I would have to live for my baby.

I never thought I could have a child to call my own, but here I was.

Somehow, I ended up vowing to it that I will protect it. I promised it the childhood I never had, I promised it the beauty of luxury I never had.

It's life suddenly became the most important to me.

And then I got to know 'it' was a 'him'. I still remember the tears of joy I had shed.

I started knitting my hopes again, little by little, like a tiny weaver weaving it's sanctuary to save itself from the coarse of weather. I started to heal.

My little world of hope came scrambling down, vanquishing under the deep opaque as the man who was the main subject of my nightmares reappeared.

Marienne came back. He had found me.

And my son that was the result of the besmirch conducted by god knows who.

When I saw him, two days ago at our house, I felt like the ground had opened up and was proceeding to swallow me whole. It was a nefarious feeling.

I felt sick to my core, I wanted to cry and throw up; I wanted to yell at him to go away.

But then, our eyes met.

I expected myself to cower away, I expected myself to freeze, I expected myself to faint.

What I didn't expect, was to have this sudden surge of power within me.

A rush of euphoria, supremacy, domination- I didn't expect myself to stand the ground and negotiate oh so calmly with him.

I gave it a thought; over and over again for the past two days. That day still seemed like a nightmare.... but it wasn't a nightmare.

Was I finally learning to face my battle?

Was I finally learning to stand against the enemy? The questions peeked into my mind.

But then I realized, it wasn't me. It was him.

His eyes, they seemed to hold a blue bayou inside them as they glimmered under the soft light.

In our previous encounters, before I escaped the barbarian man, not once had his eyes held softness. They were always filled with vehemence, fury, vengeance. His hunger for hecatomb, his lust for gore and dark always shone in them. They seemed possessed, controlled.

As if enchanted by the finest of the whisperers that were there. He seemed possessed by demons.

But now?

They were different. If it weren't for his features, I would have assumed both of these men weren't the same. His eyes were so different than before, they held the light of an ocean lit up by bioluminescent planktons. They shone with guilt, sadness and a never ending ocean of pain.

And then I realized where the difference lied.

It was him, somehow, within the course of these five months, something in him had changed.

And that day when I was feeling this supremacy?

It was him.

It was me.

Somehow within the course of these five months, I had learnt to let myself put first, I had learnt to stand up for myself- I had learnt to be a fighter. And him?

He was letting himself down, silently admitting to the guilt and letting me take the power.

And he was also giving me the choice to advocate that power. I had a feeling if I would ask him to go away, he would.

He cared for the baby.

I don't know from when did I start to have this feeling, but, something in him seemed genuine. Was it when he was left awestruck upon seeing me? Or was it when our eyes met for the second time after five months? Or was it when he started to shed tears upon seeing my baby bump unbeknownst to him?

When was it?

I didn't know. At this point, I was only floating between the border that separated life and death.

A chance of life with my baby.

A chance of him killing my soul.

And he was giving me a choice.

Was there any third option? His gesture indicated there was, there was indeed a third option.

A chance of life with my baby..... and him in it.

My heart was in a constant battle with my brain, I knew what I saw, I could read this man as clear as day at our first encounter, he was letting his guard down, he didn't speak loud, but his actions screamed louder than any word or any language could ever speak.

He was letting me know that I could be in control if I wished to.

He was letting me know that he was ready to repent, he was ready to pay the price even if it meant to have a chance with our son.

But, my conscious mind protested the idea.

It was aware of my fragile state. It knew, I may crumble down into pieces if I encountered him without anti-depressants.

But this time, I will not go down with a fight.

When I walked into that restaurant that evening, the air felt like it was set on fire. I could feel his gaze, it was licking, drinking in every single inch of me. I wasn't wearing anything provocative or stupendous that evening, it was only a simple baby blue dress of full length.

But they way he looked at me, it felt like I was the most amazing thing he had seen, ever. Without even looking up, I knew he was gawking at me like he had done six months ago in that restaurant.

But it didn't make me feel disgusted.

That was what surprised me the most, when our eyes met, they were shining with awe and happiness and a hint of pessimism. Like he knew something was bound to go wrong, he had assumed the worst of the situation.

I could feel his surprise when I started talking with him. He couldn't believe it. He didn't voice it out, but his expression of thrill and widened eyes made it clear.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I was again wondering about our previous encounter at the most ungodly hour of the night. Only then I became aware of the blank stare I was throwing at the ceiling through the darkness. God knows for how long.

I rolled over and glanced at the digital clock on my bedside table, 4:54 AM. The red letters screamed through the darkness.

I stared at the clock, motionless, only to flinch away after a couple of minutes from the light.

I let out another sigh.

I was restless for the past two days. Ever since mine and Marienne's encounter, slumber had become a matter of luxury for me. Most of the time, I was thinking. Thinking about me, my baby and .. Marienne.

Something snapped inside me. I jumped straight up from the bed and flickered the switch of the bedside lamp. The darkness was cut by soft yellowish hued light, enabling me to see.

I opened the congested drawer with force, my eyes lingered on the black file before I took it out.

I had lost counts of how many times I had gone through this file.

Sighing, I titled the cover, the white sheets adorned with small typed letters conferred themselves in front of me.

I had gone through the rules. The contract was indeed flexible and consisted twenty two pages, had twenty clauses and two sub clauses each.

It mainly demanded the lawful right of a father. If I put it simply, it was basically saying Marienne can pay me for the welfare of the child if he wished, he can look after me for the sake of our child if he wished, I was to stay close to him until our child graces the world, I was to remain under strict scrutiny of doctors and nurses he was going to hire (Given my risky pregnancy), I could not do anything that might harm our son, he could spoil our son rotten and the son was to become his heir when he came to his age. Our son could deny if he wished to.

The contract was basically demanding his right as a father. It felt like he was silently asking me whether I was okay or not with calling him our son's father.

I was okay with my son calling him father, so, he could exercise his rights as a father. No parent should ever be deprived of the chance to be with their child, just like no child should ever be deprived from the right to have a parent.

If something was ever to happen to me, he needed someone to look after him.

Parents were something I had never had. I never wanted my son to go through the pain of not feeling loved and protected.

I could give him the love of a mother and father alone, but, I didn't want him to feel the absence of a father. I wanted to spoil him with all the love in the world, but, at the end of the day I didn't want him to ask "Mommy, where is my papa?"

The mere thought broke my heart. I was the victim of this kind of situation. When I finally started attending a school when I was 9, I was much mature than the other girl of my class.

I remember Mama Cassedy's struggle when she had learnt that I was being bullied by kids for not having a father or for being a late bloomer. I never wanted my son to go through that.

So, if Marienne was asking whether he could be a parent or not, he had my consent. But, if I saw any signs of him losing control over his behavior, he was going to lose the right to be a parent.

I didn't want our son to see the ugly side of his father, I didn't want him to witness the monsters that lived inside him and fed off his soul.

I sighed as I set the file aside. Throwing my body back on the bed, I pulled the covers over me.

I was going to give him a chance as a father, but, not before I knew whether he was stable enough to be one.

I knew I had to give him a chance whether it was now or later. I could only pray that he was smart enough to utilize it.

As soon as the morning descended, illuminating everything as a message of it's arrival, I knew the first thing I had to do today.

I didn't know if it was the right time to do it, but, I was afraid if I was late, there would be something for which I might have to pay the price heavily.

I grabbed my phone once I was done freshening up. Taking a deep breath, I went into my contact. I typed M in the search bar and his name popped up which I had saved a day ago.

Mr. Victor

My finger hovered over the contact for a moment before I took a deep breath and pressed the call button.

Ringing..... Ringing....

"Hello?" A groggy voice spoke up from the other side of the phone. I gulped upon hearing his voice, unsure of what to say.

He was silent on the other line for a moment and then spoke up, "Rose?"

He had clearly woken up, his rough voice was an indication to that.

Fright filled inside me, but for the first time, I decided to fight against it. I had to stop being scared every time I came across anything related to him. I had to be on anti-anxiety meds last day, but I didn't take them today.

I wanted to talk to him without the medicines, without the panic attacks.

But apparently, my body and mind was so corrupted, I had no choice but to take them.

I was traumatized.

"H-Hey-" I stammered breathlessly from the fear that was building up within me.

He is not here, he can't do anything.

He does not scare you anymore.... He doesn't scare you anymore.

"Did you- want to talk?" he questioned me, carefully testing each word in his tip of tongue, like he didn't want to burden me with wrong choice of words.

"Y-yeah-" I cleared my throat, my hands started to quiver vulnerably.

Rose he won't hurt you, calm down.

Calm down.

I closed my eyes, looking around for my anti-anxiety pills. They bright orange bottle caught my eyes from over the dressing table. I crossed the room in a swift motion and grabbed the bottle, placing the phone in between my shoulder and ear.

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked, his voice an octave higher than a whisper.

"I-" I popped a pill in my mouth, silently apologizing.

I thought I could do this without the pills, but I guess I can't trust him.

"I-" I took a deep breath, my nerves calming down, "About the contract. I have read it and wish to discuss it."

I heard him letting out a breath, it seems like he had been holding it. A moment passed and he spoke up, "Do you wish to negotiate in the phone or..?"

I gulped, licking my dry lips, "I don't know if I could live with you- in the mansion...."

He was silent for a moment before he replied, "Does that mansion scare you? I have other houses.... do you wish to-"

"It's not the mansion" The truth tasted painful, even in my mouth, "It is you."

Silence.

"Mr. Victor- I- My mind can't seem to get over the fact that-"

"I know...." A hoarse whisper was uttered.

"And I have panic attack every time I see you- I can't do it without anti-anxiety meds.... The last day, my panic attack occurred suddenly because the medicines were wearing off...."

"Are you on them now?" He enquiry was nothing more than a mumble.

I eyed the orange bottle before replying, "Yes."

A moment of painful silence passed before he spoke up, "I- don't know what to say...." His words carried anguish; like he was beating himself about it, "I- messed you up so fucking bad that- you can't even talk in the phone without your medicines..."

"Yeah..."

I heard a long sigh. "Roseline, it's okay. I don't really want you to force yourself on anti-anxiety and anti-depressants. I have quite a lot of them on a daily basis and I don't want you to force yourself because of me and my selfish-"

"Do you think I am doing this for you?" I snapped, my anger getting the best of me all on a sudden.

"Wh-"

"Do you think I don't want to do this?! Let me clarify it- I want to do it and I will do it for my son! I want him to be happy, having a father, because I know how hard it was for me! I will do everything for him, even if it means living with a stupid peanutheaded fuck like you and popping some organic pills every now and then!! I will bear you only for our son and nothing else! Do you think I am doing this because I need you? NO! My son will be needing you but I sure as hell don't need you! I could have managed him even if you didn't come along but since you are here you have to fulfill your duty as a dad! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T MATTER TO ME!"

Silence.

Complete and utter silence.

What have I done?

What was I talking about?

What was with the sudden outburst?

Oh god.

But he deserves it.

I mentally groaned, applauding myself on my stupidity. Apparently, I had become apprehensive; that along with my raging pregnancy hormones and my morning grumpiness with tension burdening on my shoulders- it was a dangerous mixture.

The words had disgorged out of my mouth even before I had a chance to contemplate them. But if I looked at he brighter side, I wouldn't have to fake being a ray of sunshine in front of him.

"Um-"

"I know those Rose. You don't need to tell me twice. I had understood it when you uttered them first-" I heard him sigh shakily. Okay, now I feel bad.

Or maybe I don't.

Who am I kidding, I know I don't. He was the person who had traumatized me.

But aren't I supposed to be afraid of him?

"Rose, I don't want your health to deteriorate. I want you to be healthy, I need you to be healthy and... calm... for our son. You know damn well that you can't risk it for your hormonal factors."

I huffed, so he understood.

Why was I not afraid of him? Why did it suddenly feel like there was nothing to worry about?

Anti-anxiety meds, Rose. You just took your medicines.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "I am pregnant and hormones are the gifts that come with it. If you want your part as a father, you need to deal with it. How do you expect me to live with you if you can't handle this simple thing?!" I snapped, feeling angry.

A booming, rich laughter from the other side, cut me off, making me infuriated. His laugh was... good..

"What's so funny?!"

His laughter subsided, the remnant of it was expressed by a cough. "Nothing. Nothing at all. Do you want to change anything in that contract?"

"Actually, yes." I snapped.

"Which one is it?"

"Article 22, clause 3, sub-clause 3; I don't want to live with you and I want to limit the time you can meet me."

"But-"

"You can come visit me whenever you like except for nights."

"I don't want you to live there, Rose." I heard him sigh, "That place is dangerous, full of hooligans and abusive as-"

"LANGUAGE!"

"-Wipes and it will be better for you to look after yourself if you live in my mansion or anywhere that is protected by me. Do not argue me with this, my son comes first. I know it's really hard for you- but please try?"

He was pleading.

His voice held urgency as it had a lingering tone of vulnerability hidden underneath.

"Roseline- you know?" His tone was soft, almost gentle as it caressed my ear. My attention perked up as I listened.

"Nightmares and demons. I have quite a lot of them. I have people who caused me- to be like this; who turned me into a monster I am today. I can't forgive them, ever. I know how is it like to be like this. I know how hard it is to forgive people who fuc- messes you up. I won't be as shallow as to ask for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it."

His words held so much pain, but it was the truth.

"I don't deserve anything Rose, I know that. I reappeared in your life because my child is concerned here- I just can't lose another person who could be close to me- I can't lose another child-"

Madeline was pregnant. He had lost his child once.

He was right.

I had a family, I had mama, Calissa- these two were close to me and they vowed to protect me.

But him?

He didn't have anyone.... except for Lindy.

But he has to atone for his sins.

The strings that seemed to bind me and play me like a puppet, loosened up a little bit. I knew in this case, he was speaking the truth.

Negotiate but don't forgive.

Forgive but never forget.

"-Roseline, I am concerned about my son. Can you try? For his sake? I know; it's unjust of me to ask something so- brazen and bold- but pl-"

"I will try." I let out a breath, swallowing my nervousness.

For my child, I will try.

"Really?" His voice was full of wonder, like he couldn't grasp the fact that I had just agreed to try to overcome my fear.

"Really." I whispered.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" His voice was full of excitement- something extremely foreign considering the fact that it was coming from him. I had always known him to be brood and dominating with a rough and ruthless personality. The last thing I had expected him to rejoice like a teenager.

I smiled, feeling light hearted.

Why was I not afraid?

"I will try my hardest Rose. I can promise you that-" He coughed, "So about living-"

"I will live in the mansion. My mom and Calissa will be there as well. But, I need to check with my psychologist first."

"Thank you Rose," A whisper came from the other line, adorned with hint of shock and disbelief, "I don't deserve it. Thank you."

"Stop thanking me," I deadpanned, "I am doing this for my baby. Nothing more."

"I will keep that in mind."

"You better."

For a moment, both of us were silent.

"Rose?"

"Hm?"

"When are you moving?"

When was I moving?

My heart rate picked up, suddenly, I was becoming nervous.

"Next week?"

"Okay-" He breathed out.

"Good bye, Marienne.." I replied and cut the line abruptly, my heart going into a confusing frenzy.

Why was I not afraid of him? Why did it seem like I was becoming more comfortable..?

Maybe because I was?

This Marienne, he was a complete different one from the one I had come to know. Something about his tone of voice, about his words told me that he had his demons under control.

But could I forgive him? No.

The best I could give him was a chance to be this little cinnamon roll's father. For me however, I was already shattered and had nothing but this miracle left.

I didn't want him to shatter me again, I didn't want him to betray me- but then again- we were too messed up to betray each other.

We were a mess. We couldn't be.

I had panic attacks whenever I came near him and I probably reminded him about those deeds he had done in the wrong phrase of his mind.

But something told me, something small- it was a whisper, but it was still there-

You can try.

I could try. I could try to push aside the fury and vehemence I harbored for him and think it as if it is our first meeting.

I knew it was impossible.

But I would try to overcome this fear, this terror and nightmare.

Because, I think I had lived my life as a nightmare for long enough, it was time for me to live.

To breathe.

To be alive.

Huge author's note warning:

What do you think of their progress? DO LET ME KNOW!

Okay, so....

I only want to say that BEING IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IS NOT OKAY. Some people will romanticize it for the sake of their own. Abusive relationships are okay in books, because books are books and you don't need to take it seriously unless it's a textbook.

If someone says that Real life relationships are abusive and full of hinderances and love conquers everything- do not listen. real life relations are not like this, if someone loves you, the person will trust you and do everything for you. If a person lies again and again, he/she doesn't love you. In real life trust is everything.

I am saying this for two reasons. One being that my best friend broke up with her boyfriend couple of days ago because he lied to her constantly and they lacked communication skill.

NO MATTER WHO SAYS THAT TRUE LOVE IS ABUSIVE AND BLAH BLAH DO NOT LISTEN. YOUR SELF ESTEEM IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING YOU OWN. It hurts me to see my bestie suffering because of some stupid boy who thinks lying is cool, but she will get over it.

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Rewritten.