"The mind is no match with the heart in persuasion; constitutionality is no match with compassion."

-Everett Dirksen

Marienne's POV:

She gave me a chance.

Words cannot describe how happy I was to hear those words. It felt like a breeze of cool air breathing through my scorching noumenon, leaving behind a sense of tranquility.

But she wished to end things between us.

What more do you expect?

True that. What more could I expect?

I was nothing less than an animal to her, the fact that she wishes to hear me out, is a lot.

I was half expecting her to collapse again at the sight of me, the other half of me was expecting her to have a panic attack and being casted out by her mom and friend.

Never had I imagine that she would come out and ask me to join a conversation. Never in a millennial.

I traced the edge of the orange cup with my index finger in a circling motion. The caramel macchiato in it, was getting thoroughly cold- but I didn't have the will to take a sip out of it. A sigh escaped me as I let myself indulge into my provocative fantasy a bit more.

The fact that she was so calm and controlled, it scared me to no end. I don't think I would be this scared if she yelled at my face or called the police.

She wasn't showing anything, or maybe, she had moved past it.

Both of which scared me.

When I visited her earlier today, the condition of her household kept bothering me. A strange urge to protect her came over me as I took in the hoodlums and hooligans that were her neighbors.

Not only I was indebted to her, but also, she was the mother of my unborn child. I had to protect her.

A sense of duty and adoration filled me as an image of her small baby bump presented itself in front of my eyes.

I smiled softly as I took a sip of the coffee.

She was wearing a soft pink dress, her smile was radiant and warm- like she didn't have a single thing to worry about in this world. She was wrapped in her own bubble of mirth, where me and her foster parents were non existent.

I wish I could undo a lot of things.

I am a lot of things, but, I never harmed an innocent.

A numb ache filled me as I felt my throat constrict. I... was at fault here. I was the one who did this to her. I was the one who destroyed her. When I did so, I thought she was a sly bitch who was looking for bigger fishes to catch.

The fact that she was related to Madeline didn't make matters better because Madeline never spoke fondly of any of the people that existed in her life before Quarsiekievs.

I never knew Roseline, a sister she adored, existed until I found those images in her stash. I assumed the worst- just like how it had been for years.

Roseline was now bearing my child and I couldn't be more happy about it.

I had already lost a child that I thought was mine.

The realization seemed to run over me like a tractor, squishing me under it's insufferable weight. Suddenly, it became harder to breathe, harder to think. Agony ran in my vein along with my blood, but I wished to bask in the sadness of it.

I wanted to be happy with my child..... and her.

A humorless chuckle left me. Some people across the café threw me a weird look which had 'Are you okay bro?' written all over it. Of course, they would think I am insane. I was sitting here, in a table, alone and humoring myself with cruel jokes.

Pain was enjoyable, I was accustomed to it. I was happy with Madeline, happier than I could imagine but the pain her death brought- made up for all those sweet moments. And now, I was wishing for something I could never have, I never deserved.

Why do I like torturing myself like this?

Am I that much of a sadist? Masochist? Should I get myself into a BDSM club?

Oh look! I can think like a normal person!

The dark humor that adorned each of my sentences were quite amusing. For a person who knows nothing but cruelty and grief- everything was a joking matter. I hated myself for it.

The monsters that lived inside me, leeched off my conscience, my ability to think. I knew it, but yet, I encouraged them to reign over me just for the fun of it and now I was here.

If my life could be painted on a canvas, it would have thousands of mocking hellhound painted over it. Some would have their disfigured face twisted in a cruel laughter of antiutopia, some would have their bizarre mouth open in a scream of horror, eyes wide like that famous painting.

Edvard Munch's 'The Scream'.

Some would be seen eating flesh and soul, looking around meticulously as they teared the bloody flesh and munched on it. I would probably have named them 'soul-eater.' Some would be seen wearing a clever smirk as they whispered something to each other.

Those demons would probably have deformed faces, long limbs. If one leaned over it, they could probably even smell the rotten, dead stench that it was emitting.

My life was gory, dark, diabolic, agonizing, if it were a painting, it would probably resemble Dante's nine circles of inferno.

But now when I thought about the baby....

I wanted them. Both of them. To be with me, to live with me forever. I wanted to see myself being happy with them. It was finally my chance to be free.

How could I? How dare I even think about it?

People like me doesn't deserve love, it was a hardcore truth, embedded in our society for thousands of years. My whole family was dead from this single condition and now..... how dare I dream of a family with a girl whom I crushed for forever?

I was a Paranoid schizophrenic. I had PTSD since my father's second wife had committed suicide. I was mentally unstable. People like me are psychopaths. My mind was a mess. Not just any kind of mess, it felt like someone had run a knife over an over again.

I was bleeding, my soul was bleeding, my heart was bleeding; I was bound to die at some point. So, what was the point of dragging them into my cacophony of disaster?

I can't let them drown along with me.

And to think that, I dared dreaming of them accepting me....

The most I could do, was to plead Rose to give me a part in the child's life. I wanted my child to have all those things that I couldn't have. I wanted it to have a normal, happy family. I wanted it to have all the luxury money could buy, a righteous mother and a ideal father.

I could dream of it, but that's it.

If Rose claims complete ownership of the child, I wouldn't even fight with her. I could win the trial in a snap of my finger, I just simply didn't want to fight.

For once I wanted to do what felt right to me.

Seeing her condition, it makes me realize how shabby her situation was. She was, by no means, financially fit to look after a child.

I let out another sigh, taking a big gulp from the sickly sweet and cold caramel macchiato, the odd blend making me frown.

Keeping the sipper down beside the black file, I decided to let my eyes linger on it.

Was I doing the right thing?

The black file was the main attraction of this evening. It was a contract.

Would drawing a contract help my situation? I could only hope.

For the past three months, I have pondered over this situation again and again until my brain started to hurt. I imagined thousands of different scenarios, each of them ending with Rose screaming and leaving me behind.

No matter how much I tried to let go off the child, I just couldn't. The joy of me being a father was overshadowed by the fear of not seeing it in forever. It wasn't until last month since I manned up and decided to ask for a place in that child's life.

No matter how much Roseline tried to deny, it was half me too and I craved seeing it, being near it.

I wanted to see my child to blurb the first word, I wanted to see it cry and smile for the first time, I wanted to be there when it took it's first step. I wanted to give it everything I couldn't have.

But it felt like I had lost that minimal right as a father.

I was guilty, yes. Rose could vent out her anger on me. She could do whatever she wished with me. But the baby, it has nothing to do with the baby.

I wanted to be a part of it's life as well. I just couldn't let it go.

Taking another sip of the cold macchiato, I opened the file, revising the clauses all over again, my heart thumping loudly inside my ribcage as I let my eyes roam over them.

It was a flexible contract, she could negotiate it if she wished to. The only right I asked wasn't anything aberrant or unreasonable. I wished to be in the child's life and provide it financial support; that was all written here in 20 different clauses.

I wouldn't add the financial support clause if I hadn't visited Roseline today. The environment she lives in, screams danger and I will get her out of there by any means.

I couldn't let her stay there even if she protests. I couldn't risk my child.... or her. She was important too.

Besides, I have more money to last five lifetimes and since I didn't really have anyone, it was going to be their property after my death. It was only logical.

Look at me, back again at the subject of death.

I stared out; across the vast restaurant hall, my gaze focusing on the empty streets.

I sincerely hope she would show up today.

Suddenly, a taxi pulled in the driveway and my heart jumped in my ribcage.

I zeroed my eyes on the doors, holding my breath.

The door opened and out came she. Her medium length jet black hair was tied up in a neat ponytail and she was dressed in baby blue. I frowned and looked down at my attire.

What a coincidence.

I dressed to be neat today, putting my effort on looking like a proper gentleman. I wore a white shirt and a baby blue suit that accentuated my eye color. I am not sure how it worked, but females go crazy whenever I wore something blue or black.

One of my past conquests from high school said that she loved seeing me in blue shirts because it made my eyes look beautiful. For some reason, whilst dressing up today, that random sentence decided to play itself in my ears.

Pardon me, but I was willing to try everything, even an attempt as ridiculous as this one to win her. I had to convince her somehow. I was clutching at a straw, desperate for my life, even though I doubted it would do anything to her.

Never had I broke my gaze from her, she looked that alluring. Then my eyes went behind her back, my gaze falling upon her friend who had her eyes pinned over me in a deadly glare.

She didn't like me.

I plastered a smile over my face as I stood up in respect of the approaching woman, trying to keep my nerves as flexible as possible.

This was not the time to lose my shit, brain or my.....

I blinked away from Rose and nodded at the blonde.

Or my heart.

"Hope you had a good ride?" My voice was choked as I blurted it out.

I saw Rose nodding slowly, her features blank. I pulled out a chair for her and then her friend.

Melissa right?

I sat in my chair across from them and took the menu from the table.

"What would you guys like to eat?" I gave them a bright smile.

I heard Rose sigh softly and saw Calissa rolling her eyes from the corner of my eyes.

"Let's cut the chase, Victor. Both of us know that this is not gonna work. Rose here has something to say," Her friend spat out vehemently, glaring at me.

I noticed Rose giving her a look and then she looked at me. I averted my gaze, guilt gnawing inside me like a woodpecker's pecks.

"Mr. Victor, I really didn't come here to have a meaningless chat with you. I want to say something and I believe you have a lot of things to say..." She eyed the black file and then turned her gaze back on me.

I smiled looking at the menu and then looked up at her, "I know. I only offered you dinner and I am assuming both of you are hungry since it's time for-"

"No thanks! I think we will pa-"

As if on cue, one of their stomach grumbled loudly, answering my question. It was most probably her friend who was beginning to protest. I tried hard not to smile as I looked down at the menu.

"I am worried for Rose," I glanced up at the blonde, who was now sneering at me with an icy look plastered over her face, "She needs to have her meals on time, right? She is eating for two."

I noticed Roseline eyeing the menu on my hand. I smiled gently and offered it to her. She looked at me, her eyes widening. "Please order anything you wish. Personally, I like their beef steak." Roseline nodded briefly, taking the menu from my hand and scanning it rapidly.

"Um- I can order anything?" Her voice was timid as she enquired, like she was unsure about this whole thing. I nodded vigorously. "Yes, it's on me."

The blonde gave me a look. "It's not like we can't afford it witho-"

"I know you can afford it;" Even though she was really annoying, I was going to bear her because she is not wrong form her point of view, "I am only offering."

"Okay, so..." Rose trailed off, "I want a kobe beef steak with mashed potato, asparagus and wine sauce, seafood soup dumpling, chicken salad of one serving and a bottle of chamomile tea." She gave me a sheepish smile as she put down the menu.

I smiled at her shyly. For some reason, her apatite brought me joy. It meant she was healthy. When I had her medical records checked months ago before I....abducted her, it was mentioned that she was anorexic. It worried me to no end, thinking about the fact that she might have been slacking off on her food.

"I am fine with water," the blonde added.

"Okay, waiter!" I called out to one of the passing uniformed guys. A scrawny looking boy came over with a polite smile on his face, "Uh- Three servings of kobe beef with mashed potato, wine sauce and asparagus, two servings of seafood soup dumplings, a chamomile tea, two servings of chicken salad and..... oh," I gave the blonde a look, "A two liter bottle of plain water."

"Is that all sir?" The waited questioned. I nodded and he went away.

"So... about what I wanted to say..." Rose trailed off, looking at me.

My heart began to beat wildly inside me like it had never beaten before. Like it had it's own life and mind.

"I am listening-" On the outside, I might have looked perfectly calm, poised and normal, but my insides were burning- like my blood had turned into acid. My throat felt dry and my nerves were beginning to tighten.

I was nervous as hell.

"Calissa? Give us a moment?" Rose asked her friend with an apologetic smile. She narrowed her eyes as her gaze bounced back and forth between us and then she stood up abruptly, "Fine! But if he tries anything funny or tries to do anything or pressurizes you, I am on the next table."

Rose nodded as we saw her made her way over to a table across us.

The dark haired woman sighed as she closed her eyes for a brief moment. "Marienne?" She looked up at me.

"Firstly, I want to ask," she gulped, "Was the person who drugged us, was she found?"

I nodded, "She was. She committed suicide in her apartment and it seems like it was done for a publicity stunt. She never got the chance to release the photos it seems. Her photos and communication devices were ceased. Please don't worry about it, I took care of it."

She nodded as her shoulders sagged.

For a moment, I thought I could see so many emotions within her brown depths. They spoke an unknown language, but I could decipher it. She was willing herself to open her deepest parts of the soul in front of me.

I was awestruck, she was looking at me with fury, sadness, pain- her gaze screamed of accusation and.... a lot more. She was furious, she was scarred, yet she willed herself to be strong in front of all.

Why was she being so transparent to me?

The weight of her gaze was too much to take for me. It was a weight of a guilt, weight of a sin that had committed. I averted my gaze and looked down.

"Look at me." My eyes shot up and locked with her brown ones again. This time, I couldn't avert my gaze even if I wanted to.

"I wish to talk about a lot of things, you know?" She smiled, sadness adorning it, "I want to throw a fit, I want to run away, I want to hide myself and never come back. I want to accuse you, blame you, I want to report you to police- but I am not doing anything. I will not do any of it, Marienne," Her voice shook as she threw those words at me, each of them hitting my already broken spirit.

"I know about your condition. You are a patient of Paranoia. Lindy had informed me about it. You believe what you wish to and what your mind wants you to believe. I, myself, am a victim of PTSD. The one thing I would like to ask you, is that, why didn't you seek help earlier? Did you enjoy this madness of yours?"

I took a deep breath, my broken pieces had broken a little more, "It was because I thought I had better control over things this way. I had been seeking help for 15 years, it did nothing for me. So, I began to think that I could not be helped."

"A-Are you-" She stammered as she stared up at me, terror evident in her eyes, "A-Are you still unstable?"

She was afraid of me, she looked up at me like I was a monster.

The humor.

"I am not," I replied curtly, "Three months ago, I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. It seems I had had it since I was seven-" I chuckled bitterly, shaking my head, "But the doctors were too ignorant to figure it out."

I heard her gasp loudly, "W-Wait- so y-you mean to say, you have paranoia and schizophrenia?"

I nodded.

She looked up at me, sadness glimmering in her eyes under the yellow lights of the restaurant, "Demons that make you believe that you are right and demons that urge you to act on it- both live inside you-" She smiled at me bitterly, "It all makes sense now."

I was dumbstruck.

What was she talking about? Shouldn't she laugh at my face or be disgusted?

"Marienne, I am furious at you. I am mad at you for reawakening my demons, I am mad at you for bringing back my nightmares, I am mad at you for doing things to me that are inhuman and the things that scarred me for life. I was already broken, trying to fix myself piece by piece, but you came and broke the already broken me.

I wish to curse you but the thing is Marienne, even though I have gone through a lot, I am yet to lose my common sense. I now understand why you did something so... diabolic to me, but it doesn't change the fact I was the victim of it."

It was like someone had drowned me into Antarctic and then put me back to the hell I was accustomed to. Despite the turmoil coiling inside me, I managed to simply nod.

"And the fact that you are the father of the baby, it doesn't change too. I despise you Marienne, but I can't let that hatred rule me and ruin our child's future in process. I want him to have a happy childhood-"

Him?

"Him?" I held my breath in anticipation.

She smiled a smile that could put the sun to shame. Her face went from sunken to bright within a spun of second. I gawked at her, basking in her luminescence that touched a corner of my soul that was pitch black and gory.

"It's a boy!" She patted her baby bump as my heart pirouetted with happiness. Even though I wanted a princess, but as long it's a healthy baby, it doesn't matter.

"That's great..." I whispered, zeroing my eyes on her baby bump that was barely visible from over the table. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt her lean in and hand me over a tissue.

"Th-Thank you-" I whispered as I wiped away the droplet of tear and focused on her.

"You are happy aren't you?" She whispered, her eyes showed her inner conflict and pain.

I nodded slowly.

"You might be thinking that I am here to cut all ties with you Marienne, but I am not. You deserve a place in it's life as much as me. Even though we aren't on a good term, it is our child. I want it to have both it's mother and father."

I let out a breath of relief. I felt so light hearted, like a huge weight had been lifted off me.

"But I have some conditions," I went rigid as I heard her, concentrating on her. "I have some too," I rasped out, nodding at her.

"Okay, would you like to go first or-"

I let my gaze linger over her, holding my breath in anticipation, "You go first. I have a contract with me-" Noticing her eyes widen, I shook my head vigorously, "It's not child claims or that. It's about our behavior, residents and such that. It's for both of our sake since we barely know each other and it's flexible"

Also, I am incapable of trusting anyone.

Although, something told me that, I could trust her.

She nodded and let out a breath, "There are a couple of things I don't want our child to know. Your past, my past, how he was conceived and Madeline. I know it's difficult for you to let go of her- it's hard for you and I completely-"

"You don't have to worry about Madeline," I gritted out, a raging fire building up within me, "She is gone, in the past. I don't care."

She stopped and observed me for a moment. I was pretty sure she noticed something, but decided to let it slide, thankfully.

I don't care about a cheater. She fucking cheated on me and had the audacity to defend herself.

"Yeah, so we'll never let him know that." She cleared her throat, "the next condition is, you will have to remain within respectful boundaries. Please do not assume that I will ever forgive you for what you have done to me, but, I am willing to overlook it as my child is concerned here. I don't want him to grow without either of us. Just because we are being respectful to each other, that doesn't mean we are an item. The only reason I am allowing you any sort of contact with this child is because I myself, grew up without a family and I do not wish for my child to grow up without one."

I nodded, for some reason, her words affecting me more than they should.

"Both of us would be present in his life. Even if one of us finds a new partner-" It was like a whip of cold water was splashed over me, drenching me in reality.

Yes, Roseline might find someone new. Someone who was normal, without issues and demons. She might fall in love and marry that guy.

My jaw clenched as red began to dance in my vision.

She will find someone, that was the hard truth. I didn't deserve her, so the chance of her being with me was nonexistent.

Could I accept it?

I had to accept it, even if it was hard. I would have to accept t because I had no other way.

I will even protect the bastard she would be dating because it was her and my son. I would do that, only for her.

As for me finding a new partner, the chance was next to nothing.

"So-" Her voice brought me back to reality, "If you find someone you love, you can't abandon our son- um- Marienne?" I looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "Uh- why are you mad?" She chuckled nervously, "You are red and the vein in your neck-"

I forced out a chuckle, waving my hand in the air dismissively, "It's nothing, really!"

"Okay...." she trailed off, unsure of my antics, "We will try to be on our best terms. We are practically strangers and we need to know about each other, for the sake of the baby. You will attend your therapies regularly and if it gets worse, you are to stay away from me and our son..." My heart broke a little bit more as I casted my head downwards. I heard her whisper, "I don't want him to see how ugly could it be...."

I nodded.

"We aren't a couple-"

"You already said that," I deadpanned monotonously.

"No, I said just because I am friendly with you for my son, that doesn't mean that I have forgiven you. Also, we are not a couple, so, please do not try to act like one-"

I stared at the girl for a moment.

How was I supposed to ask for her forgiveness?

"That includes sending me presents, being unnecessarily affectionate to me and asking me out on any occasion.... I wish to keep it real and the reality is we can't be anything."

I huffed, crossing my fingers behind my back and then nodding slowly.

As if.

"Why are you assuming that we can't be anything? I plan to ask for your forgiveness..."

She smiled bitterly, "Not now Marienne, I don't think it's possible. Maybe someday when I think you deserve my forgiveness? But, not soon."

I breathed out.

"That is all for me. Now what is it that you wish to tell me."

"Take a look at this contract." I handed her the black file. She accepted it and began to rummage through it as the waiter brought us our food.

"Living with you?!" She shrieked, looking up at me with widened eyes.

"It's only logical..." I took a gulp of the water, "I don't want you to live in that unsafe place. My place is bigger and better. Think about his safety first."

She pondered over it for a moment and then looked up at me, her eyes widened with fear, "I don't want to go back there.... It triggers me-"

I took a deep breath to prevent the constriction of my chest, "You can take your mom, your friend even, my mansion can accommodate a lot of people-"

I saw her breathing harshly. Worry hit me as I tried to take a better look at her.

"I-I am s-sorry- b-but," She was panting, "C-Can I take some time to think?"

"Sure! Of course! Take as much time as you wish! Do you want to go home?"

She nodded meekly, her face becoming redder and redder by moment.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was having a panic attack.

I had them quite often myself.

"Rosel! Are you okay?!" I saw Calissa running to her, rubbing her back to soothe her. She threw a glare at me. "What did you say to her?!"

"N-No-"

"Cally," Her voice hoarse as she grabbed her friend's hand, her eyes pleading, "Take me home? Mr. Victor, I will contact you."

I nodded as I witnessed Calissa leading Rose out of the restaurant in a haste.

So, I fucked her up so much- she couldn't even stand to hear the mention of the 'Victor' mansion.

I ran my hand over my face, my guilt was now turning itself into fury. A fury for myself.

Redemption seemed like an infinite mile away.

But I knew I was willing to cross it, because it was her.

I was ready to reach the end of this never ending pit, even if, at the process, I lost myself.

There's something I wish to speak about is that 'men crying.' ln my stories, men do cry, a lot. It's normal. It's okay for them to cry when they are feeling down. Crying is a natural emotion and it shouldn't be defined by gender. It's okay for men to cry, it doesn't make them weak, moreover, it makes them more humane.

The fact that they are strong enough to show those emotions, makes them stronger. And this is usually how things go, they cry, like us. I have a brother who acts all rough and tough around people but cries in front of me when I don't save him the last slice of pizza. It's natural.

Please vote, comment, share, follow me if you liked it. Follow me on booknet please. Your support would mean a lot. I will be publishing a lot of story there exclusively in future.

I have a lot of ideas, I will publish the plots if I get time someday. Then maybe you guys can select and I will start that one next.

Thank you for waiting and reading! You are the best! Love y'all!

Rewritten.