"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die."

- Thomas Campbell

Rose's POV:

The car moved on as it went forward, leaving behind the trees and the exquisite manor like a perfectly animated movie.

Everything was so unreal.

My breakdown was a surprise, even to me. But I supposed, it was the pent up anger and frustration and everything that had risen up inside me for these past two weeks.

A gasp escaped me as tears fell freely, wetting my cheeks, neck and travelling down my collarbone.

Everything came down at me.

All at once.

I had been captured, abused and that too by my long lost foster sister's fiancée. The fiancée who was a deranged psychopath.

My hand flew to my mouth, trying to contain the sounds that threatened to escape. Eventually, I gave into my vulnerability as gasps of sobs made their way through my body, shaking my very core.

"Madam-" The worried voice of the Uber driver called out. I glanced up, taking a peek at the middle aged man who was observing me through the back view mirror intently.

Nodding at him, I hastily wiped away the tears that blurred my vision, looking out.

The night was so starry.... The stars adorned the sky like fine mirrors adorning a piece of immaculate silk....

What if I was normal?

What if I had parents like normal people?

What if I had never met that guy?

What if.....

And this time, I couldn't contain myself. I couldn't contain the wail that burst through, the sound of my cries echoing into the small car, mingling along with the skin of the night.

Why me?!

A numb ache began to form inside my chest, ascending to my throat, suffocating me brutally with it's unyielding heaviness until I had to choke.

I was dying.

The mirage of the illusion that surrounded me, was detruncated by the driver's hoarse and panicked voice. But it did nothing to stop my pain.

The vehicle came to a sudden stop, the law of inertia tugging my body forward with much harshness.

"Madame...." The driver's voice cut through the tensed air, "Are you okay? Do you need something?"

I shook my head as tears sufficed. I was exhausted, yet, somehow my body found the energy to let out all of the cancerous emotions that I had come to rearing silently.

I was a mess.

"Please go..." My voice trembled as I pleaded him, the request holding a silent interceded of my involuntariness to share or answer any and everything he might have to ask.

The driver nodded, reluctantly so and started the car, taking me to my destination.

I looked out. The trees were moving behind quickly as the car speeded, the silver moon of half shone brightly in the sky, dazzling it. I lowered the glass, the cool wind hitting my face immediately with all it's jolliness. Breeze blew, through the trees and the forests, swirling and twirling, touching every single leaf that danced along with the gentle flow of the wind.

Autumn was fading away, into the nature. The wind felt like a messenger, the messenger of winter's glorious, hazy and snowy arrival.

I shivered as another gust of wind hit my face.

I wasn't crying anymore, it almost felt like that the mother nature was trying to soothe me.

The car entered the urban area, the buildings appearing, the nature fading away, slowly. Soon, the apparatuses permeated the beauty of the nature, the artificial façade taking over the nature's blessings.

The car kept on moving and soon, I found myself in the poorer area of London.

The vehicle came a halt, in front of a restaurant. It read "Flavour of Spain" in neon red.

The familiar scent of tomatoes and garlics hit me. I breathed it in until my heart felt contented.

A lone tear escaped me as a feeling of melancholy hit me.

It felt like years.

"Madame- your fare has already been paid for-" The middle aged driver uttered in his thick welsh accent as he got down from the car and began to remove my bag from the backseat.

The black leather bag that Lindy gave me.

She had instructed me to run. Run and never come back.

I wanted to see my mama.

I wanted to see her.

If I left her here, Marienne might come and get her. If I took her with me, it would be like removing her from the root that she built for years.

I was an outsider and yet she took care of me, my problems, healed me and breathed in a new life into me.

She was like an angel to me.

I couldn't do that to her.

I couldn't drag her away because of my own problems.

I had to make a decision, a decision that might change my life forever. But the question was, would I be able to survive without my healer? Without my medicine that I called my mama?

She would be devastated.

I was a problem, I was malignant and there was absolutely no reason for me to drag her down with me.

I had to compromise, even if it hurt me in the process.

I had to keep my angel safe.

I have to let her go.

With shaky hands, I took the black bag that the driver had extended to me. I rummaged through it, looking for any clue that Lindy might have left.

A vibration startled me. Moving away the pile of money and checks, I found a small flip phone. Taking it out, I flipped it, answering the call.

"Rose...." The old lady's voice made it's way through my ear.

Lindy....

"Rose, are you there?" Lindy uttered through the phone, her voice was hushed.

I gulped before answering, "I... hear you..."

I heard her sighing from the other side.

"Rose, have you reached your place safely? Are you prepared for the next flight? It leaves at 1:00 AM... Did you inform your mama? Please don't forget your pas-"

"I'm fine, Lindy," I cut her ramble short, inhaling for what I was about to say next, "I don't think I will bring my mama with me. I don't want to trouble her more..."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" She snapped, making me flinch. I heard her inhaling loudly as she spoke, "Look Rose- If you leave your mom here, don't you think Marienne will find her? Don't you think Marienne will do whatever he did to you?"

A mental image of Marienne torturing my mom ran through my mind.

Tears stung my eyes as I tried to shake away the feeling. "Lindy-" My voice was a whisper, heavy with emotions, "I need reassurance-"

She stopped, the only sound that could be heard from the other side was her harsh panting.

She was listening.

"Lindy, when my mama took me in, I was an outcast. I was abused, used and maltreated and left with so many demons that I would have to deal with for the rest of my life-" I gasp of sob tried to escape me, but I gulped it down.

"This woman, who had no idea about how to raise a child, who was a newly widowed woman, took pity upon me and raised me. She helped me with those scars and those things I wasn't familiar with- she taught me how to brush my own teeth and how to live despite being dead inside..."

"She is my light, I can't just drag her down to my darkness..."

I heard her taking a sharp breath.

"Lindy- I am weak. I am a pauper. I have nothing, no power, no money and that is the sole reason why I seek your help. I want you to keep Marienne away from here. I know you can do it- please-" I broke into a wail as I prayed to her, "Please- keep her safe. I don't know if I am asking way too much- but please- don't let anything happen to her-" A long pause ensued, the only sound that existed was of my cries.

"I don't know if I am asking way too much, Lindy, but please Madame- do something-"

"Stop Roseline."

Her command was hoarse, short but it was enough to let me know that she was crying, too.

"You are making me feel so small, so petit, my dear. It is not too much to ask. It is I who should obey to you, not you, love. You are completely innocent and I was blinded by my love for that boy. If I wasn't, you wouldn't probably have to face these. No one deserves it, you are the last person to deserve it honey."

"I am so-" Her voice broke, I heard her sniffling loudly, "Sorry. This is the least I can do dear. I promise to keep your mama safe from him. He wouldn't go near her. But you, please be safe. You are not well-"

I let out a small chuckle, "I can deal with my on demons. If I can't, what more will happen? They will just end my life.... But I can't harm mama..... She is too precious for me..."

"Don't say that..." Lindy's voice trailed off, "What do you want to do now?"

The question hung in the air heavily.

My eyes darted off to the restaurant.

So many memories here.... So many wishes... so many laughs and tears...

Through the haze of the memory, I could almost see myself sneaking out in the rain... mama scolding me for doing so..... Me and mama baking a cake side by side.... mama teaching me the art of making a paella.....

So many dreams I had dreamt and witnessed getting shattered....

An immaculate image of mama braiding my hair popped up through the brume.

So many ambitions....

My memories of 23 years.....

23 years of being with the woman who had reconstructed my soul, gluing it piece by piece.... All for nothing... all for to let go at the end....

Nothing....

"Rose? Dear?" Lindy's confused voice, brought me back to the real world, where I had to deal with my monsters.

My eyes were blurred with memories, my heart wept bitterly, my brain was fogged and my body numb.

But still, I somehow found it in me to utter ever so softly, ever so hastily, "We tell her that I died."

A gasp of shock was heard from the other side of the phone. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT IMPACT WOULD IT HAVE OVER HER?! Think it through! You can't make a hasty decision-"

"I have thought it through Lindy-" I took a sharp breath, the agony of cutting of my root pricked me like sharp needles, "There is no other way. Maybe someday when Marienne forgets me, in a year or so, I will come back to her and apologize, but for now, I will have to let her go..."

I will have to separate myself from her....

"But-"

"No buts-" I took a sharp breath, the cool air freezing my insides, "I have decided. I can fight my fight. My mama raised me to be strong and proud girl who shouldn't be afraid of her scars. It was I who was not brave enough, but it is high time I became brave."

A long pause commenced from the other side.

"Lindy-" My voice was an octave above a harsh whisper, my eyes never leaving the restaurant. The lights were being shut off, one by one. It was probably 10.

"Lindy-" My emotions were choking me- making it much harder to speak, "I- I want to try being that girl my mama taught me to be. I believe that mama would be proud of me if I make this decision. All I wish for now is to see her."

"Whatever you wish-" I heard her frustrated voice, "I will not judge your decision. I will definitely try to keep Marienne away from there."

"Thank you Lindy-" A gust of harsh wind blew, making me shiver, "I will call you back later. I need to see my mama for a last time for a very long time."

"You too dear..." Lindy breathed, "Take care."

I cut the call, focusing on the restaurant.

"Please stay here-" I requested the driver, "I will go to the airport. Was the fare paid for?"

The driver nodded, opening the door. I stepped out, the coolness hitting my exposed legs and arms. I was wearing a white t-shirt and a knee length pants. Two of the many old items Lindy had provided me with.

My legs hurt as I carried myself to the back door, ever so cautiously.

I stopped in front of the large window, hiding myself into the psalm of shadows. Positioning myself so that I could peek inside.

The window gave me a clear view of the hall. It was connected with the staircase that led to the bedroom my mom occasionally stayed in.

We had two places. One was the main house. It resembled a cottage. It was where I stayed in most of the time. It wasn't far away from here. Second was this restaurant. Mom stayed in here if something emergency came up and she had to take care of something.

The darkened hall only held a tiny speck of luminosity. It wasn't enough, but still, it was enough to allow me to see the blurry figure that was passing the hall. I focused my gaze on the silhouette as it let itself into the bedroom.

A sound of switch flickering resonated throughout the room, bright white light spread out almost immediately.

I wanted to cry.

There stood my mama, looking beat and exhausted. She seemed like she had aged a thousand years since I had last seen her. Her wrinkles were more prominent, eyes lost their luster and mirth that shone ever so brightly. Her hair was unruly, dress wrinkled.

Her dark circles seemed to scream insomnia.

My hand flew to my mouth as I tried to contain the emotions that threatened to burst out.

I was feeling so many emotions at once.

Happiness upon seeing her after a very long time....

Sadness, because I knew I wouldn't be able to see her for a very long time....

So many things.... my root.... my mother,,,, my angel that healed me..... yet I would have to leave her behind.....

Oh fate! How cruel you are!

Beat and exhausted, she allowed herself a seat on the mattress. Her eyes held bokketo as she gazed into nothingness.

And after a while, she burst into a loud wail.

Her wails resonated through the wall, startling me, touching me even. I wanted to go, I wanted to comfort my mama, but I couldn't.

If I went, she wouldn't let me leave in years.

She hid her face behind her hands as she sobbed.

Please don't cry mama...

"Rose..... Where are you?!" Her sobs wrecked her body, touching my soul.

Please don't....

And almost like a magic, her eyes darted off to the window, exactly where I was standing.

I hid myself immediately, hoping that she didn't notice me.

Did she see me?!

Cautiously, ever so slowly, I glanced back to the room. She was looking here and there, seemingly restless.

A mother's heart knows the best....

After a while of looking back and forth, a sigh escaped her. Her shoulders slumped, like a defeated woman.

I had never seen her like this ever before.

Soft cries shook her body as she wallowed in her pain. The pain that was weighted down upon her because of my loss.

Did she spend every night like this?

I am sorry mama....

I am so sorry....

I couldn't bear to imagine what would go though her when she hears the news of me being dead.

She taught me to hope.... now when her hopes get shattered....

I shook my head.

I couldn't bear to stay here for another moment.

I turned into my heels, glancing back at my mother's agonized form for one last time.

I am going mama, but my heart, it will always be with you. When everything gets okay, I will be back. You can hit me with that rolling pin of yours.....

I let out a chuckle. Suddenly, a feeling of something wet on my cheeks dawned upon me.

I was crying and I didn't even realize it.

I turned around, willing myself not to look back.

And I didn't.

I strode to the taxi, where it awaited me. Leaving my heart, good luck and my angel behind, I opened the taxi door, let myself in and closed it.

Mama is an architect- she rebuilt me. Now when she had lost her masterpiece, she was bound to get hurt.

"Take me to the airport."

The taxi moved through the darkness of the night. The moon continued to shine, generously giving away the ray it reflected of the sun.

The night darkened, if it was even possible. The cool wind continued to sashay throughout, to and fro, touching my broken soul, giving out a message of a possible change.

However, thank you so so so much for reading this book! I will try my hardest to upload regularly from now on. I will probably rewrite this chapter. Should I rewrite it or is it okay?

Let me know! Vote comment share if you liked it! Love y'all!

Rewritten.