The storybook romance was over faster than she had wished, and yet it had been predictable. Nevertheless, the sudden realization hurt and Edith was more than ever plagued by the desire to be able to go home.

It was her first heartbreak, her first separation, and now she wanted nothing more than to lie in her mother's arms and hear from her that everything would be all right again. The last hug, the last kiss on the forehead and the last kind words were far too long ago and Edith feared never again to feel her mother's warm arms around her.

After Aegon had left the room so abruptly, she had fled as well. She had not waited for a guard to take her back to her chamber, instead she had gone back alone. Better said she had run.

Even days later, her cheeks still glowed with warmth and her eyes burned with the tears she could hardly hold back when she was alone.

Edith also avoided the common dinner since then and at some point the other members of the family also stopped participating until only the queen, Aemond and Otto were sitting at the table.

Although Aemond noticed the change in his wife's feelings, especially the lack of tenderness and affection they usually shared, but he said nothing. One possibility was that he didn't care or didn't notice how she was doing right now, and the other possibility was that he knew and gave her the time she needed.

The second possibility was the least likely. Aegon would never tell Aemond about the affair - at least not with his new big plans, because he still needed his head for that.

She was ashamed of her feelings for the eldest prince.

She would just have liked to know what had made him change his mind. One day everything seemed fine and the next the princess' pregnancy was announced, after which he was a changed man.

Aemond told her that Helaena's pregnancy had already progressed, so she had been hopeful when Edith arrived in King's Landing. She could not imagine that Aegon had not known all along. Had he not even thought of his wife's feelings? Or of Edith's? So much had happened and not once was there any mention of a pregnancy.

Daeron and Aemond had not known about the secret either and, like Edith, were surprised with the news. But with this realization, Edith also understood once more why the queen was against marrying Aegon. Alicent wanted the happiness of her children, the happiness of her daughter, and feared deep grief or the loss of the child if Edith intruded on the existing marriage.

Love between them was forbidden, after all they were both married and his wife was expecting the next of his children. Another heir to the throne.... She still could not believe that Aegon had changed his mind.

If Aegon became king, then Westeros would fall. Edith loved that jerk, but Aegon was not a natural born king and never would be.

Maybe the end was better after all, and Edith could finally focus on the really important things. Now that she no longer had to fear her death because of an affair.

Should Aegon really ascend the throne and bypass the succession, an unstoppable war would break out and Edith would have to choose a side. Would she be on the side of her husband or on the side of her family, her parents and friends?

She was really unwilling to choose, especially under the latest conditions.

Edith was not only suffering from heartache, but was also stressed and Daeron's words a few days ago had made her so crazy that she went to a maester now.

Obviously not to Maester Ludwig, who had been missing since the fire.

A rather young maester examined the princess carefully and closely. She felt more than just uncomfortable and he noticed that again and again. He kept advising her to relax, because otherwise the examination would take even longer.

Sighing, she closed her eyes, leaned back and tried to relax and block out his touch.

When her mind was so empty she had to think about the letter from her father last week. It was well hidden in a book in her nightstand, so no one else could read it, and yet she kept taking it out to read it longingly as if there were new words in it that she didn't know by heart yet.

At first, she had even imagined smelling her father's and her family's scent on the paper, but this had surely been just wishful thinking.

"My dearest daughter,
Time and space have separated us for far too long now, and yet your place at the table remains empty.
You are longingly missed by all of us. Is the flower that your mother sent you already in bloom? I hope it shines as much as I hope you do.
Put a blossom in your next letter, your mother would surely be pleased.
Your brothers are developing beautifully and little Viserys reminds me more of you every day. I miss you here.
Your sisters are also doing well, as are we and Princess Rhaenyra, even though it is getting colder here in Dragonstone. How are the temperatures there?
I know our reunion can't be long and I have faith in you, I hope you are well and the marriage is a pleasant one.
We carry you in our hearts until the next letter.
Your father, Prince Daemon Targaryen."

Pure words of love and yet there were so many questions and demands behind them. Her father was never good with words and with the letter definitely her mother must have helped him. Edith had to smile at the idea.

She missed her family so much.

Of course, she had answered him as soon as possible with a letter of her own and she would have loved to include a blossom, but her mother's root had burned down with her other things and had never had a chance to grow and blossom.

"Beloved father, beloved family,
as beautiful as life is as a wife, your words comfort me greatly from longing for you.
I am exceedingly glad that you are all well and healthy.
I would have loved to add a blossom to the flower, but unfortunately it was never able to bloom.... The harvest was not good and nothing hatched.
Temperatures, as you are used to in King's Landing, are very variable. It is often cool in the beautiful Red Keep, but even outside these walls the warm sun does not always shine. I miss the sea air on Dragonstone.
Please give my dearest regards to everyone. I would also greatly appreciate a letter from Jace or Luke.
Give Mother a kiss on the cheek from me and my siblings too, of course.
In your thoughts, your Edda,
Princess Edith Targaryen."

The bad feeling of having failed rose up in her again when she thought of her own letter. She had achieved nothing here so far and it didn't look like she could change anything. Edith just didn't know what to do anymore. She had come here with no plan at all, but with a task that not even an army could accomplish.

How could she prevent a war? How was she supposed to stop Aegon from taking the throne if he hated her now?

She hoped very much that her family understood her words. There were good days here, even if the bad days were predominant. Edith lived here in great danger and had to fear for her life - she would never be really safe here. Moreover, she was also here without a dragon, since her egg had remained empty. What would Daemon say to the empty egg? Would he be disappointed or would he even blame her?

The young woman had to try harder and take care of her own protection to finally get out of here.

"Princess?" asked the maester with the pitch black hair.

Edith opened her eyes as she was addressed. She had been so lost in thought that she hadn't even noticed that he had already finished examining her. The maester stood away from her at a distance and looked at her with concern. "Are you all right?" he asked.

The young woman shook her head slightly. Once she started talking about her worries and problems, she probably wouldn't stop talking. "What does the examination say, Maester?" she impatiently asked him a counter question, avoiding his eye contact.

"I am honored to be the first to congratulate you." He replied and because she was not looking at him, she could not see his happy smile. "You are blessed with a child, Princess Edith."

"What a joy." Escaped her sarcastically and she closed her eyes again painfully.

Edith was carrying a child under her heart and really it should have been one of the most beautiful moments. It's all she had ever wanted - a family of her own. But the circumstances and the current situation made it one of the hardest moments in her life.

"Are you really sure?"

"As sure as the sun rises every morning, princess." He answered confidently, still smiling happily, though it was starting to get creepy the way he smiled.

Edith opened her eyes again and as she did so she shed a tear, which she quickly wiped away. Then she adjusted her skirts and the fabric of her dress before standing up. "How far?" she wanted to know.

It was hard to tell who the father of her unborn child was, since she had shared a bed with her husband and lover at the same time. A quick thought and she was sure she didn't even want to know the answer. No matter who the father would be, it would both be bad for her.

"Aren't you glad at all?"

"I asked you a question, maester." She demanded of him, startling herself at the coldness in her voice. Edith had changed so much since she'd been here that she didn't recognize herself.

Princess Edith Targaryen was no longer little Lady Edda.

She carried far too much responsibility on her shoulders to become herself again. And soon she will become a mother, too! How was she supposed to take care of a child and at the same time prevent a war and flee back to Dragonstone? How was she supposed to free Ser Harwin? And what the hell was she supposed to do now?

"You said your last bleeding was shortly after your marriage to Prince Aemond, right?" The maester asked the obvious, only to think again herself and give her a correct answer. Confirming, the princess nodded. "I guess in that time period you will have conceived the child, so maybe a moon."

One moon? How could she not have noticed? She would have liked to shake her head at herself. She had been too stubborn to see the signs and her emotions had distracted her.

Edith finally had to concentrate and focus.

"Please keep this knowledge as a secret for now. I want to wait for the right moment to tell the family. After all, it is the first child of Prince Aemond and this should be celebrated, don't you think?" she asked him, for his silence. She didn't want to make a celebration and it shouldn't be anything special, but she just wanted to cause his silence.

This was also her child and she wanted to decide who would know first and who would not.

"Of course, Princess Edith." He nodded with a smile.

She didn't believe a word he said, which was probably why she would have to tell the good news quickly before he could. Yet she would have liked to carry this secret longer. How could she be so careless as to conceive a child? Edith simply could not rejoice. She could only blame herself.

Ser Colin waited outside the door for the princess with a worried look on his face. He didn't know why he should accompany her to the maester, but he knew her so well by now that he knew something was wrong if Edith went to a maester willingly.

Even though he wanted to know what was going on, he had so much decency and didn't ask her when she came out of the room with a saddened look.

Without saying a word, Edith walked past him and Colin, of course, followed her silently, as was his duty. Their path together led them to the famous garden of the Red Keep. She hadn't been here in a long time, so she enjoyed the time out here all the more.

At the moment, she felt like she was losing touch with her true self. The fear was great of not finding her true roots once she was back home.

Would she be able to be happy?
Because when Edith would be back on Dragonstone, Princess Rhaenyra would sit on the throne and all the people Edith knew here in King's Landing would be dead.

After all that had happened in the last few years, Rhaenyra would make everyone pay and hardly spare anyone. Edith did not know if Rhaenyra would spare her half-siblings. Maybe she would take pity on Helaena and let her live for Edith. Perhaps Daeron would also survive, since he was not her father's son.

But for sure Aegon would not survive this war, especially if he would ascend the throne before Rhaenyra and thus betray her. With him, Aemond would go to his death, because he was on the side of the queen and, accordingly, on the side of his brother.

Edith did not believe that Aemond was on her side and would support his wife when the time came.

And what would happen then?

Everyone would be dead and probably some of her own family would no longer be alive. Maybe not even herself.

Edith sat down in the flower meadow in the garden and closed her eyes in worry. She was blessed with a child and slowly she realized why she could not be happy. Creating a real family of her own was impossible under the current circumstances and she didn't know if she would ever be able to hold her child in her arms and what would happen to him if she died in the war.

"Princess Edith?" asked Colin with concern. He had accompanied her here and given her a moment of peace, but his worries outweighed him. "Are you feeling unwell?"

She shook her head slightly and wiped her hands over her face. She would have preferred to cry, but she lacked the strength even for that.

"Please sit with me." She asked as she looked up at him. It was strange for her since he was still standing.

"You know I can't do that. It's not moral." He reminded her, though he would have gladly joined her on the meadow.

She would never get used to him being so disciplined and doing everything she wanted. Colin was her own guard. "Then it wasn't a request, it was an order. Sit with me, Ser Colin." She then said.

Colin struggled with himself and thought carefully before then forcing himself and obeying her order. With some distance between them, the two sat in the high grass, surrounded by the wild flowers. The garden had been neglected, Edith realized immediately. It had once been so thoroughly cared for and now the garden grew as it wanted to with flowers and wild plants.

But that wasn't bad at all. Edith now found the garden even more beautiful and personal, precisely because she had also neglected herself lately.

"Can I trust you with something, Colin?" she asked quietly, with a heavy heart. The fight with Aegon was still deep in her bones and she wouldn't recover from it anytime soon.

She felt like she had betrayed him with her new condition. A child was growing under her heart and she felt far too guilty to enjoy it.

"Anything, princess." He answered her truthfully. Edith could confide the worst things to him and he would never tell anyone. He was loyal to her and not to the other members of the king and queen's family.

"I am in good hopes." She revealed to him as quietly as she could.

There was no one in the large garden except the two of them, but it was still King's Landing and everything here had ears. The city was full of traitors.

"I knew something was wrong when you asked me to take you to a maester." He confessed to her without looking at her. Sitting here with her in the meadow felt so right and normal, and yet he felt like he was neglecting his duties. "How are you doing with it?"

"I really don't know, Ser Colin. I really don't know." Edith drew her knees up to her body and then wrapped her arms around her legs. As a child, she had often sat like this when she woke up after a nightmare. Only this time, she didn't wake up from it.

Colin reached through the tall grass to squeeze her hand lightly. "Even though it doesn't seem like it now, I'm pretty sure everything's going to be okay." He commented, trying to encourage her. "You are a smart and strong young woman, princess. You will find a way. Who would if not you? I have faith in you."

His words made her smile. It was a tired smile, but it was a genuine one.

"Thank you, Colin." She squeezed his hand tightly. She was glad to have him. Support like him right now was worth more than any gold coin.

She took a deep breath and slowly relaxed. Edith couldn't just look at the negative or she would go crazy, she knew that. Concentration and a proper plan were needed. She had to finally make it.

"How is he? Were you with him?" she deflected from the real topic, but he didn't seem to mind. "Yes, I was there with him last night." He replied. Edith didn't need to mention a name, and yet Colin knew who she was talking about.

"He's doing well and getting better health-wise." He reported to her and then had to laugh briefly before continuing. "He's an insanely good actor with the other guards, who would have thought?"

"I don't think anyone and that's our advantage." She smirked in relief. "Not long now and we'll have it sorted, Colin." She added even more quietly.

"I'm really looking forward to it. We can do this." He agreed with her confidently. "A new and fulfilling life awaits the three of us...the four of us." Colin's cheeks turned red as he realized his mistake. It might not have been the best idea to approach Edith about her pregnancy just now. Luckily she wasn't bothered by it right now, or rather she ignored it.

"I can't wait... This is going to be great."

She had not only neglected herself, but Ser Harwin as well. Her guilty conscience was great, but she knew that Colin visited him at least once a day and provided him with food and water. Still, she hoped that Harwin would eventually forgive her for currently visiting him so little, and she hoped he understood.

At the latest, when he was free again and everyone was safe, he would forgive her, she thought.

***

Surprise!
Edith is pregnant :o

What do you think/wish
will happen now?

see you in the next chapter,
until then all the best :)♡