"So how's it going there?" Dad asks.

Lelia and I are sitting in front a webcam, our father on the screen in front of us. Besides some more tan, he hasn't changed. I have, and Lelia has, too.

I'm also tanned and my hair is way too long. I'm gonna have to cut it soon, but I don't know by who. I don't feel like paying money for a hairdresser. Minho seems professional about the hair, yet I doubt he knows how to cut.

Lelia's hair is a whole different color, she has gotten tanned too, and freckles are appearing on her nose.

"Good," I reply, excited. "We found great friends. They're amazing."

She nudges me in the side. "Especially Newt, right?"

I nod even heavier. "Yes. Newt's awesome. Oh, about Newt, we were wondering if it's okay if I spend the weekend and Newt's. He lives half an hour away from the camp, and I can tell you the address. And Newt's phone will be at his home so I can always call."

"I think that's fine. Lelia, you've seen this boy?"

"Yeah."

"He's decent?"

"Apart from the tattoo's and piercing, yes. He's so lovely. I actually smoked weed with him, Dad. It was fun."

"What—"

"She's kidding," I say fast, hitting her under the table. Suspicion stays on Dad's face. "I swear. I can ask Newt to come here and you'll see who he is."

"I'll just believe you," Dad ends up saying. "And you, Lelia? How stern are they?"

"Not very stern," she says. "For now."

The suspicion is back. "And you're just agreeing to all their methods without complaints."

"Yeah. Haven't gotten in trouble."

I sigh silently. Three days in the Shack. And I still haven't even asked for what reason she was there.

But I won't snitch to Dad... as long as she stops the jokes about our friends being junkies.

"You have any friends you wanna go home with? If Lyndon can go, so can you."

Her eyes light up. "Oh my God, yes. But who? Sonya, Harriet, Teresa, or Thomas? Maybe even Winston, but that might be awkward. I can bring Teresa. No, wait, I'll suggest if Thomas and Teresa wanna have a sleepover with me and I'll be the wingwoman."

"I have no idea who all these people are, but okay, do whatever you want, as long as the kids are decent, and you give me the number of their parents."

"I'm gonna ask." She's bouncing on her seat by now. "Let's go—"

"Hey, hey." Dad interrupts her with some laughs. "Let me catch up with y'all first. It's been way too long. How come you didn't call before?"

"Busy," I say. "Mostly."

"With what? I may not hope the things you're not supposed to do."

"No. Just painting and all," I say.

We went out twice, and one time was just a bonfire, so that was harmless. Lelia in fact might've gone out more times, but I don't know. I think I would've noticed.

Still gotta ask her about the Shack thing, though. Minho said she wasn't there. But she didn't look like she got a hang over or anything close to that.

Maybe she even looked suspiciously clean.

Anyway, we talk to Dad for another twenty minutes before Mom, well, Amina, appears on screen. I give her a bright smile, not daring to look what expression Lelia gives her, and ask how she's doing. She doesn't look different at all. Not too surprising; after all, it's only been two weeks.

Then we talk some more, and Lelia has fallen quiet. As I mentioned, she doesn't like Amina and can't get along with her. Neither does she try.

Amina does. "And you, Lelia? Do you like it there?"

"It's fine."

Short, awkward reply. I cringe. Amina continues in the hope that Lelia will loosen up. "I hope they're not super stern. I mean, it's a misbehavior camp, but is also supposed to be fun, isn't it?"

"They're less sterner than you."

One, that is not true.

Two, that was not necessary.

Three— okay, there is not three. More tea to tell Newt, perhaps? Get that?

Okay, never even mind.

I elbow her in the side, a little harder now. "She's joking. You're not that stern, Mom. Even if you were, they're sterner. They made me—" I stop, realizing I might be telling too much, but then I move on, "—stay in a punishment hut for one night only because I stood up for Newt."

"Let us know if it's too much to handle," Dad says. "We can always pick you up if it's not fun at all."

I quickly finish the call up, then my head snaps toward Lelia. "What the hell! You could've at least said that in a less mean tone. She was being nice to you."

"She was wearing Mom's necklace!" Some kind of cry escapes from Lelia. "And stop calling her Mom in front of me. I know that's selfish, but please don't. No, wait— never mind. Call her Mom if you want to. It's really selfish if I wouldn't allow you."

I'm not sure what to say now. "Eh, I know Dad gifted M— Amina that necklace a while ago. It's not like she decided 'let's be harsh to the children' and put it on only to hurt you. Maybe she doesn't even know it's Mom's."

"Still. Dad shouldn't have done that."

Sometimes, when I think I understand and know my sister from the inside out, I realize I don't. Because after eighteen years, and Dad and Amina being married for at least ten years, I would think Lelia understands that our biological mother is simply gone and that nothing is going to fix that, and that Amina is our mom now. And that Dad has moved on. Maybe that's why he gave the necklace. Maybe Lelia didn't see it right and thought it was Mom's while it was actually just a new one— I don't know. I didn't even pay attention to the necklace.

"I'm gonna ask Thomas and Teresa about the weekend." She shakes me out of my thoughts by getting up. "I'm sorry, Lyndon. See you at dinner?"

"Um, yeah," is all I manage.

It takes at least a minute to organize all my thoughts and grab everything together again, then I wander off into the open air, past the Homestead, and on my way to... I think Newt.

Unfortunately, I meet someone else along the tour. Like, right in front of me.

"Watch out," I warn. The one lucky thing is that Noelle listens and stops herself from bumping in to me.

She stares at me for what feels like forever. "You could've said hey any of the times you passed me."

"You didn't look approaching, with your head down and all. Could've said something to me."

I only say this because I now do know I have all the right to. She could've said hey. She could've sat down with us. Wasn't she the happiest about us wanting to become her friends?

But no, the second I let her know I'm not interested in her, she leaves. Newt says the only reason she wanted to be friends in the first place, is because she wanted to hit on me. I don't like that idea, but I figured it's true. Now she doesn't pay attention to any of us, which is kind of lame.

"I thought gay boys could easily get along with girls. I thought you were nice."

I'm not gay, I almost want to tell her, but I don't. I specifically told her that to shake her off. Don't want to undo it or anything.

"I am. But you're not nice to me ever since I told you that thing in the Shack."

"Not nice to you?" She spits out. "I haven't spoken a word to you! That's neither nice or not nice. It's just nothing."

I want to get away from her as fast as I can. "I'm going to Newt, alright? Have a good day."

"Is he gonna do another lesson of convincing you you're gay?" Noelle snaps, and I stop. "He's only jealous, you know. He knows I'm able to pull people, and he can't."

I bite my cheek, hard. "I'm going," I repeat. My second attempt to walk away fails when she rises her voice again.

"You pull people without even trying. You really want to waste all that on a guy like Newt? One who's ridiculously rude to people who haven't done anything to him? I complimented him," she says. "You're a pretty guy, Lyndon. A hot one. You're not made for boys."

The discomfort is spreading everywhere as she steps closer. Her perfume hits me. It's still vanilla, and way too strong. Her done nails softly drag themselves across my wrist, but it still makes me shiver.

"Lyndon, your sister would be disappointed. Have you ever seen her share one word with Newt since she found out he's gay? She was in tears when she walked out of that place." Noelle points at the Homestead, in which the webcam is placed. "You were calling your parents, weren't you? They must get so disappointed if they find out you're gay. Or worse, if they find out the dear boy you told them about, convinced you you're gay, while you're not."

Move, my mind screams. Get away, it yells. Continue walking, it alarms. But I can't move. The words get through my head. They linger and linger, and then I figure out they have decided to stay engraved in my head.

"Don't let him get through your mind. Seriously? An insecure boy? You can do better, Lyndon. It doesn't even have to be me. You can just do... so much better."

I try to swallow the lump in my throat away. I need to talk back, or walk away, or do anything that'll stop her from speaking and touching me. I wanna jerk my arm away from her nails, but I can't move. I'm frozen. Rooted to the ground. Lashed down.

An insecure boy, it repeats in my mind. You really want to waste all that on Newt? My jaw tightens. One who's ridiculously rude to people? Newt's not rude. He knows I'm able to pull people, and he can't.

Anger starts overtopping my discomfort. She's lying. Newt isn't how she describes him. Even if I were gay, Lelia wouldn't be angry. Dad wouldn't be disappointed. It wouldn't be because someone 'convinced' me. Newt doesn't make his whole personality about his sexuality. Noelle makes Newt's personality about his sexuality.

It's the only thing she's mentioning about him, while Newt is way more than that.

"Come on, Lyndon. A boy who gave you this cute little nickname? One who looks ridiculous, with that cheesy smile?" She steps closer. "A faggot with a limp? Seriously?"

That's it. I push her. I push her freaking nails off me. Shake her words out of my mind. I step away from her. My eyes watch her fall to the ground. Satisfaction hits me. I've defended Newt. I've stood up for myself. In some way, at least. I hope she gets the point now. I did better than last time I tried to tell her to stop—

No. No, I didn't. I pushed her. Way too hard.

I watch her fall to the ground, no longer in satisfaction. Her elbows scrape against the gravel. Her back roughly hits the ground. Her eyes widen.

That's just not the worst part. The Homestead is behind her. The wall of the Homestead is behind her. The brick wall.

I pushed her. I pushed her way too hard. Way too hard, I pushed her against the brick wall of the Homestead.

Way too hard, she hits her head against the brick wall of the Homestead, because I pushed her.

And there's blood. And she gasps. And then her eyes fall closed. And then I can see she's still breathing, but that I did cause her to pass out. And that she's definitely gonna have a concussion. Because I pushed her. She's gonna need stitches. I can already tell. I should've been able to tell the second I pushed her with such force.

"Lynn?" The familiar voice for once does not shake me out of any panic. "There you are. I was looking for you. I already saw Lelia leave the—"

Newt freezes, too. He stares for a while, then looks at me, plenty emotions written over his face.

"I didn't mean to," is what I manage. "She was saying things and she was touching me and I didn't mean to push this hard, Newt. I just wanted her to get off. But I pushed too hard and now—"

"Lynn." He's soon standing next to me, hands firmly on my shoulders. "Do not panic, okay? She'll be fine. Don't overthink. We get Jorge, we tell him what happened. We tell him it was self defense. We ask him if he could not tell Janson. Or at least tell Janson something else. We get Noelle stitches. Send her home. Poof, done. No problems."

"But it wasn't self defense. She said something about you. She wasn't touching me inappropriately. She was just trailing her fingers over my arm. How is that self defensive?"

Everything's blurring together. Don't overreact now. Don't overthink now. Don't go crazy now. Don't overreact. Don't overreact. Don't overreact. Don't— she will need stitches.

"Lyndon," Newt says sharply. At that, I snap out of it. "We're behind the Homestead. No one will come here unless they use the extra exit door. We quickly go tell Jorge. She won't walk away for sure. Come on."

Blindly, I follow.