〔𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 ; 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳〕
〔𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸'𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘴.〕

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"TONIGHT IS WILLOW'S FIRST DUNDIES SHOW. What are the Dundies, you may ask?" Jim turned to his sister, a smirk plastered onto his face.

"Well, from what I've heard from Michael, it's supposedly everyone's favorite day. I missed the Dundies last year because I was hired like a month after it happened. However, Jim told me after that it's the Oscars but for mid range paper employees and it's filled with typical Michael jokes. So, it's a dumpster fire."

"Congrats, you win a Dundie for 'most accurate description of the Dundies.' What are you gonna do with the award?"

"Burn it." Willow deadpanned before breaking into laughter.

♡

"So, you ready for the Dundies?" Jim asked.

"Ugh. The real question is, is Willow ready for the Dundies?" Pam replied.

"Nope." Willow was quickly interrupted by Michael going over to reception.

"Hey hey hey! It's Fat Halpert!" Michael said, imitating Fat Albert.

"What?"

"Fat Halpert. Jim Halpert." 

"Okay." Willow muttered.

"Hey, Willow! Why don't I take you and the cameras on a tour of past Dundie winners?" Michael asked.

"Uh, well I don't think I-" Michael quickly grabbed Willow's wrist to bring her around the office.

"Let's go! So, as you may know, we've got your brother Fat Jim Halpert here. Jim, why don't you show some of your Dundies to Willow and the camera?" 

"Oh, I can't because I keep them hidden. I don't want to look at them and get cocky." Jim said, winking. Willow let out a small laugh.

"Oh, that's a good idea." Michael said.

"Mine are at home in a display case above my bed." Dwight added.

"Ah, T.M.I. T.M.I my friends!" 

"That's nice, Dwight." Willow said quickly before being dragged over to Stanley's desk. 

"And here we have Stanley the Manly. Now Stanley is a Dundie all-star, aren't you Stan? Why don't you, ah, show them some of your bling?"

"I don't know where they are, I think I threw them out." Stanley said, not looking up from his work.

"Oh no you didn't!"

"I think I did."

"Wha-? Why did you-"

"Say, we we got to order some more appetizers this time. We ran out last year, remember?"

"Yes we should. You know what? I wanted one of those skillets of cheese, but when I got off stage, someone had eaten all of them." Michael said, turning to Kevin. Willow looked over at the taller accountant awkwardly before going back to her desk.

♡

"It was you!" Kelly said.

"Oh, definitely not. Not really my taste." Willow replied.

"Live and learn." Phyllis said.

"It had to be you then." Kelly said to Pam.

"It wasn't, I swear." Pam giggled. 

"Yeah it was." 

The chatting from the four was interrupted by Dwight going over to them.

"So, what's the joke? You're not perfect either." 

"We're not laughing at you, Dwight." Pam said.

"So who are we laughing at?"

"Something somebody wrote." Willow replied, hiding a laugh.

"Who? Dave Barry?"

"No. No, just something that was written in the ladies' room wall." Kelly giggled.

"What is it? Who wrote it?"

"Um, it's kind of private."

"It's about Michael." Phyllis whispered. The four erupted into giggles, remembering what was written.

"That is defacement of company property. So you better tell me. Willow, if you tell me, you'll be punished less." Dwight demanded. Willow looked at him in confusion before whispering something into Pam's ear.

"Okay now I'm laughing at you." Pam snickered. 

♡

Willow exited the stall of the bathroom and went over to the sink to wash her hands. Sneaking a glance on the words written on the wall, she stifled a laugh before turning on the sink. 

As she went over to dry her hands, she heard the door open. Looking over, she expected to see one of her female co-workers so she could say a quick hello. 

What she didn't expect was Dwight sneaking inside.

"Dwight! What the hell are you doing?" 

"I just want to see what was written!"

"No! Get outta here, this is the women's restroom!" 

"But-"

"Out!" Willow exclaimed as she pushed Dwight out of the bathroom. Rolling her eyes, Willow dried her hands and asked herself why she wanted to pull Dwight back inside and make out with him then and there. Shrugging those thoughts off, Willow exited the bathroom and went back to her desk.

♡

"Excuse me, everyone, could I have your attention please. I just wanted to say that the women in this office are terrible. Especially the ones who wrote that stuff about Michael on the bathroom wall. Having a bathroom is a privilege. It is called a ladies room for a reason. And if you cannot behave like ladies, well then you are not going to have a bathroom." Dwight declared.

"Excuse me?" Willow asked.

"You're taking away our bathroom?" Pam added.

"We are going to have two men's rooms." Dwight said.

"But where would we go?" Phyllis asked.

"Be prepared to hold it folks. From 9 am to..." Dwight was quickly cut off by Michael exiting his office.

"Michael, Dwight's banning us from our bathroom." Pam complained.

"Okay, well, that's just ridiculous, so just don't, I don't have time for this right now." Michael said quickly.

"But there need to be repercussions-"

"Just stop it!" Michael screamed. There was a pause.

"Okay, look, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around about the Dundies this year. How there is no money, and how there is no food, and how the jokes are really bad, but what the hell everybody? I mean God, the Dundies are about the best, in every, one of us. Can't you see that? I mean, okay, we can do better. so, tonight, for the first time, we are inviting all of your friends and family to attend the awards with us." Michael declared.

"Yes!" Dwight said while pumping a fist into the air.

"Yeah, not bad, right? So let's make this the best Dundies ever. Let's make sure that Willow's first Dundies are the best!"

♡

"I hate when Michael singles me out. He usually does it because I'm new here, because I'm Jim's sister or because I look like Anne Hathaway, so I'm kinda nervous on what Dundie I'm gonna get. Also how do I look like Anne Hathaway? I don't get it." 

♡

"Welcome to the Eighth Annual Dundie Awards. Before we get started, a few announcements. Keep your acceptance speeches short, I have wrap it up music, and I'm not afraid to use it, Devon!" Dwight exclaimed. He quickly turned on a stereo, Michael jumping out at the sound of Naughty by Nature's O.P.P. Willow's eyes widened at Michael's little dance and Dwight throwing the microphone at him.

"The Dundies! How can I explain it? Awards you like to hate it. I'm psyched you all made it. You never had to work so hard and feel that no one notices you. You're just a name and number and no one even says hello." Michael sang off tune. Willow turned to Jim, still stunned.

"Is this how it is every year?"

"Kinda." Jim replied, equally stunned as Willow. 

"You down with the Dundies? You down with the Dundie-" Michael's singing was cut off by the music stopping.

"The waitress tripped over the cord!"Dwight called out.

"Alright, alright, joke landed. So we are here, thank you all for coming to the 2005 Dundie awards. I am your host, Michael Scott. And I just want to tell you please, please, do not drink and drive. Because you may hit a bump and spill the drink!" Willow turned to Jim, a puzzled yet amused look on her face. 

"Just watch." Jim mouthed. 

"We'll just put these on the group tab." Kevin said to a waitress.

"Nope, actually this year, ah, no group tab, we're going to be doing separate checks!" Michael replied. The bulk of the employees collectively groaned at the statement.

"You said we could bring our families." Stanley said.

"I did, and why didn't you, Stanley?"

"I did, my wife's name is Teri."

"Well, I'm looking forward to meeting Terri."

"It's this person who's hand I'm holding Michael." Stanley raised his hand, intertwined with his wife's. Michael's eyes widened and went silent as Dwight pressed a key on his keyboard, playing a sound saying 'Oh Yeah!' 

"Shut it." Michael whispered. Willow smiled a little and gave a small thumbs up. He looked down to her and gave a small nod.

"Um, good. Speaking of relationships, of all, all way shapes and forms. Um, I was out on a very, very hot date with a girl from H.R, Dwight." Michael continued.

"Really? We don't have any girls from H.R."

"No, that... for the sake of the story. And things were getting hot and heavy. And I was about to take her bra off, when she made me fill out six hours of paperwork-"

"Like an AIDS test?"

"No! God..." Michael fell silent before clearing his throat. "Alright, so let's get this party started!" 

♡

"And now, to someone who quietly goes about their job, but always seems to land the biggest accounts... The 'Busiest Beaver' award goes to Phyllis Lapin! Yeah, way to go Phyllis. Nice work, per usual." Michael announced. Phyllis got out of her booth and made her way down to Michael, high-fiving Jim as Willow gave her a thumbs-up. She approached Michael who gave her the small trophy.

"This says 'Bushiest Beaver.'" 

"I told them 'Busiest,' idiots!"

"It's fine."

"We'll fix it up. You don't have to display that." Michael said as Phyllis made her way back to her chair. Shaking it off, Michael cued Dwight to play the next song, Jump Around by House of Pain.

"Alright! Now, let's all jump around for our next award! This is going out to our newcomer, Willow Halpert!" Michael exclaimed as he started jumping in place. Willow felt everyone's eyes on her as she prepared to stand.

"It is the 'Best Sibling' Award! Come on down, Willow!"

"Do a speech!" Jim mouthed.

"No!" Willow giggled as she walked over to Michael, who handed her a trophy identical to Phyllis'.

"Woohoo! Speech!" Jim exclaimed.

"Yes! Great idea Jim! Make a speech, Willow!" Michael shouted, matching Jim's enthusiasm. Willow shot him a look as she took the microphone out of her boss' hand.

"Well, this is my first ever Dundie. Uh... thank you Michael." Willow said as she gave Michael back the microphone and jogged back to her seat. The area erupted in applause as Willow lightly smacked her brother's arm.

"Great speech." Jim said sarcastically.

"You're an ass." Willow snickered.

♡

"This next award goes somebody who really lights up the office," Michael began as Dwight played Hot Chocolate's You Sexy Thing. "Somebody, who I think a lot of us, cannot keep, from checking out. The 'Hottest in the Office' award goes to... Ryan the temp!" Willow and Pam looked at each other, mouths agape in amusement and shock. Michael started singing the song as Ryan stood and went over to him. 

♡

"How is my first Dundies so far? Well, I'm pleasantly surprised with my award. I'm glad I didn't get 'Bushiest Beaver' or 'Hottest in the Office,' and I do enjoy eating at Chili's."

♡

After a few more Dundies were given out, Michael went into the back to do an interview for the documentary. Willow left Jim and Pam to chat as she made her way over to Dwight.

"Hey Dwight, how's it going?" Willow asked, sitting on the table next to the keyboard.

"Uh, I'm doing fine. You?" Dwight replied as he fixed some wires on his keyboard.

"I'm okay. Have you been doing this for Michael forever?" Willow felt a tingle of desire

"Since he started the Dundies."

"Cool cool. Uh, what song's next?" Willow felt a little awkward but still wanted to continue talking to Dwight.

"I think Tiny Dancer. I have to play it like five minutes after Michael's done with the interview."

"Alright. How about you do it now?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Uh, 'cause it'll bring you good luck."

"Yes!" Dwight smiled as he turned on the stereo. Willow ran back to Jim and Pam snickering, a blush slowly creeping onto her face.

♡

"You have won a tiny Dundie!" Michael sang (off key).

"Whoo! Sing it Elton!" some guy at the bar shouted to Michael, clearly mocking him.

"Hey, thanks guys. Hey, where you guys from?"

"We just came from yo' mama's house." another guy responded. Willow looked over at the bar, her face etched with a frown.

"Oh, alright, yeah." Michael said softly.

"Sing another song dude." one of the guys called out.

"Uh, you know what guys, we're just having a little office party, so if you want, uh-" Michael was cut off by the guys throwing trash at him.

"You suck man." a guy said before walking off. 

"Uh, let's cut it." Michael muttered to Dwight, who turned off the stereo.

"I had a few more Dundies to give out tonight, but I'm just going to cut it short and wrap it up so everybody can enjoy their food. Um... thanks for listening, those who listened. This last Dundie is for Kevin, this is the 'Don't Go in There After Me' award. It's for the time that I went into the bathroom after him, and it was really, really smelly. So there you go." Michael said softly. He gave Kevin the award and walked off, wiping something off his suit jacket.

Willow, Jim and Pam looked over at Michael and then at each other.

"Yay, Kevin! Woohoo for Kevin! For stinking up the bathroom!" Pam exclaimed drunkenly.

"Woo! Yeah, Kevin!" Willow called out. Jim joined Willow and Pam in applause.

"Hey I haven't gotten one yet!" Pam exclaimed.

"Yes, I haven't gotten one either. So let's keep going." Jim added.

"Woo! More dundies!" Pam, Jim and Willow all began chanting 'Dundies' and started clapping again. Michael smiled at the three, regaining his confidence.

"Alright, alright, alright, okay. Alright, we'll keep rolling. Okay, this is the 'Fine Work' award. This goes to Stanley, for all the fine work he did this year." Michael announced.

"Fine work! Fine work, Stanley!" Pam exclaimed as Stanley went down to Michael to get his award. She started to chant 'Speech,' which resulted in Stanley grabbing the microphone from Michael.

"Well, last year I got 'Great Work,' so I don't," Stanley was cut off by Pam drunkenly roaring with laughter. "know what to think about this award. But at least I didn't get 'Smelliest Bowel Movement' like Kevin." Stanley chuckled as he went back to his seat.

"And this next award is going out to our own little Pam Beesly. I think we all know what award Pam is going to be getting this year. It is the 'Whitest Sneakers Award!' Because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on! Get on down here! Pam Beesly ladies and gentlemen!" Pam excitedly ran out of her seat to Michael, ecstatic that she finally got something other than 'Longest Engagement.' 

"I have so many people to thank for this award! Okay, first off, my Keds. Because I couldn't have done it without them.Let's give Michael a round of applause for emceeing tonight, because this is a lot harder than it looks. And also because of Dwight too. Um, so finally, I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundie. And I feel God in this Chili's tonight. Woo!" Willow looked over at Jim, who was looking at Pam in absolute wonder. Pam ran off from Michael and into Jim's arms, giving him a kiss on the lips. Willow's mouth widened, turning to the camera.

"Did you get that?" Willow mouthed. She turned back and gave her brother a look, happy for him.

♡

While everyone was filtering out of the restaurant, Willow went over to Dwight, who was helping Michael and Ryan pack up their stuff.

"Oh! Willow! Hi!" Michael exclaimed.

"Hey Michael! I just came in here to see if you guys need any help." Willow lied. She wanted to try and talk to Dwight again, trying to mirror Pam's drunken confidence. 

"Uh, I think Dwight there has to pack up a couple things. Just help him and bring the stuff to my car." Michael said, following Ryan outside of the restaurant. Willow went over to Dwight and grabbed a couple of Michael's props, placing them into a box.

"Oh, hello Willow." Dwight said.

"Hey." Willow replied. 

The two remained silent as they finished packing the remainder of Michael's stuff. Willow had to resist her urge to kiss Dwight as he helped her pick up a heavier box. When he placed his hand on the small of her back to help support her standing up, she had to resist her instinct to throw the box down and start making out with him then and there.

After saying goodbye to the three guys, Willow walked back to her car, her face red and her desire for Dwight growing.

♡

━━━━STARRY SPEAKS!
hi everyone! this is the most
amount of words i've written
ever lmao. i hope you're all
enjoying this book so far!
i also want to thank all of
you for all the wonderful
comments and votes i've
been receiving here! thank
you all so so much! <33