Love me with your worst intentions
Didn't even stop to question
Every time you burned me down
Don't know how, for a moment it felt like heaven

.....

.....

Chapter dedicated to: islynrebman
Thank you for your comment, Angel!

<<raqeeba's p.o.v>>

I shivered looking at the sinster smirk plastered on his face as I pushed myself backwards away. As far away from him as possible. My back pressed against the hard cold wall as I my vision turned blurry and my lips quivering.

His green orbs wreaked through me from head to toe before he bit his bottom lip, and started taking steps closer towards me, making my heart skip millions of beats.

"D-don't please." Smirking at my words his large body crouched down at my level. I winced at the feel of his rough hands on my thigh before he moved his hand up and down. I tried wingling under his hands but the thick chain tied tight around my ankle made me unable to do it.

"Oh Doll. Do you have any idea how beautiful this little body of yours is?" I was too lost at the tears the stung my eyes and the burning feeling at the back of my throat making me hiccup loud. His hands moved to my knees making me stop breathing because even though I was accustomed to it. It still hurts.

"No!" My voice came out as a shriek making his eyes shoot towards mine. I shivered as his cold dark green orbs glared at me and his jaw cleanched before he forcefully gave me a tight liped smile.

"You're lucky, you're my favorite." He whispered before parting my legs apart, giving my inner thigh a pinch before his hands started moving upwards.

"Please don't do this. I-i will give you all my chocolates. I promise!" He stopped and looked at me

"I wish but I don't like chocolates." I rubbed my running nose with the back of my hand as I smiled at him "O-okay! I-i have two Bunny toys! You can take them all and oh there's a doll too!"

His dark chuckle boomed in the room before his hands travelled in between my legs and the little hope in me died.

"You're my favorite Doll." Why does he come again and again!

"Why are you doing this?" I couldn't help but ask. Coming closer he pressed his lips on my cheeks and then my neck.

"Anybody can do this. After all you'll be a whore when you grow up." I didn't understand what he meant by that.

Anybody?

At that moment I couldn't help but think. Do all kids need to do this for anybody?

••••

<<nuraan's p.o.v>>

"Goodnight." I said. A satisfying smirk spread across my face as I looked at her speechless expression. Her eyes fixed on a certain brunette, currently sitting on my lap, her head nuzzuled on the crook of my neck and her legs on either side of me. She slowly pulled away and turned around wishing my ex a sweet.

"Goodnight Anusha." She sure as hell was doing a good job at the pretend thing.

I would be lieing if I say that this proximity between us wasn't driving me crazy. I may be a human with an adequate amount of self-control but that doesn't change the fact that I am also a hot pure red blooded man who is so not immune to any kind of hormonal changes. I clenched my jaw mentally slapping myself of why on Earth did I make her sit on my lap when there is ample amount of space in the bed.

I looked at Anusha who looked like she was having a mental fiasco at the back of her mind but that was untill she looked at me with a small smile on her lips and I could already see the water forming in her eyes.

"Take care you two. Good night."

With that I saw her open the door of the bedroom before she softly closed it behind her. Guilt rushed through me the moment she was gone out of my sight. Did I do something wrong? Was it even necessary? Did I--- My thoughts stopped Midway when I felt a certain someone move on my lap unintensionly making me groan internally as I quickly grabbed her waist to hold her stable as I bit out a

"Get up and get on your side." I myself was taken aback at how rude those words came out of my mouth but I didn't bother to make an attempt to apologize. Her eyes snapped to mine as she narrowed them into slits before getting up so quick, like I would burn her.

"You should go get a check up, Man." She said as she rolled to her side placing multiple cushions between the two of us as if making some borderline.

"Excuse me?" I asked. What does she even mean by that? She sighed before saying.
"I think my dear... you are suffering from multiple personality disorder." I rolled my eyes as I just lied down ignoring her so called diagnosis about me. I was about to close my eyes when something made them flutter wide open. I turned to look at my left only to be met by her back on my side.

"Um... Raqeeba?" I asked causiously to which she just hummed. Taking a deep breath I turned towards her back as I asked.

"Earlier. Why did you tie your hands while sleeping?" Her body went rigid at my question making me mentally kick myself, asking if I had crossed my limits. There was a long moment of silence until she said.

"I didn't slap you as long as my hands were tied right? It's to avoid such accidents." She said with a low chuckle. Of course I wasn't a kid to not know she wasn't very comfortable telling me about it so I just stayed quiet.

"Nuraan" I hummed when she called me out.

"You still love her." This time it was me who froze. Why would she say that? I gulped hard as I forced out a. "No" I could see her shake her head before she turned around to face me, her grey orbs boring into mine.

"You do." Her words didn't sound accusing but for some unknown reason, I felt it.

"Why'd you say that?" I couldn't help but ask. Is it because of what happened at the party? Or is it---

"I saw it." Her voice was slow and soft, making me frown. "I saw the guilt in your eyes. We shouldn't have done the pretend thing. Not when you aren't exactly ready to let her go." My blood runs cold at her words. All my life I've been told how I am so good at those poker expressions, then how could she see right through me? I clenched my jaw as I turned on the other side when I heard her sigh.

"I'm sorry. I-I think I overstepped my---" I didn't let her complete as I simply snapped.

"Yes, you did so just shut your mouth and eyes and sleep." This girl here is making me feel guilty and I DON'T LIKE IT. I am already feeling pretty frustrated about what I did and she is making me feel worse. I heard her loud gasp and I waited for one of her feisty comebacks but to my surprise she just said.

"You know we shouldn't make this bad." I frowned as I looked at her.

"What?"

She just shrugged. "I mean it." I couldn't help but roll my eyes, something inside me urged myself to stay far far away from her. Don't know what or why.

"I'm not making this bad, Ms. Hussain." For some reason, I didn't like the taste of the name I called her.

Why?

Because she's your Wife

I have no idea why I'm reacting this way. I mean. If it would've been someone else I would've just said a 'sure' and be done with it, but her. I don't know why everything. Everything and every aspect of mine turn upside down when it comes to her.

She's different.

Rare. A shade of something beautiful. A spark of rebellion interlaced with magic. Just her existence gives others hope that goodness still exists. She's addictive. Right from her smile down to her laugh, something about her keeps pulling me closer. Making me want to do things I long gave up on.

No.

That's it. I can't put my guards down. Never. I need to stay away from her. It's the best for me...

And her.

°°°

<<raqeeba's p.o.v>>

I couldn't help but chuckle at his words. Honestly, I don't get this fact, why is it that if a girl is married her initials change from Ms to Mrs. While a guy's initial remains the same. I mean shouldn't his name after marriage be something like Mr-rer Khan or something.

Shut up!

Now don't be mad at me! Geez!

Can you ever and I mean it ever talk sense Raqeeba! The inner me mocked. Huh.

Whateverrr

"I'm just trying to be friendly Mr. Kha---" I tried to say

"Well please don't Ms. Hussain." I frowned. What is his problem man?

"Why?" I said to which he replied

"Isn't it simple?" Definitely not

"Um.. No?" He sighed before saying.

"Because I DON'T want to befriend you?"

Ouch. I sighed. I'm not really a very nosy kind of a person but something about his bipolar personality and that straight face always make me feel an urge to protect him. It's like he needs someone to vent his feelings out.

And I have been blessed with patience and persistence.

A deadly combo there!

"I don't understand this. I have always tried my best to understand you, Mr. Khan. Hell, I'm not even asking for you to give this relation a chance. I-I just want us to be friends and have no harsh feel---"

"Why can't you just get it that I can never be friends with a girl like you!" I hissed at his tone.

Wait what?

A girl like me?

Yeah she'd be amazingggg

God! Focus Raqeeba! He meant it as an insult!

What? Oh.

No wait!

Whatttttt?

"What did you just say?" This time my tone resembled his cold one. I can be an amazingly calm person but one thing I have never been able to deal with properly is insults or anything hurting my self-respect.

I can never compromise when it comes to these.

He didn't say anything and instead, he just looked away clenching his jaw making me repeat myself.

"Mr. Khan, what did you just say?" I said sitting up as I looked at him with challenging eyes.

Silence

"I said repeat yoursel---" I could complete as he raised his voice saying.

"God just drop it already!" This time he sat up too. His icy blue eyes bore into mine with that shivering cold look on them before he continued. "You wouldn't like what I say, anyway. So it's better if you just let it go."

I scoffed.

"I never really took you as such a ball-less perso--"

"Miss Hussain." His warning glare didn't fathom me to the least. I don't care if he thinks I'm some random ill-mannered chick. I don't give a fuck what he thinks about me and that explains why I continued.

"Come to think of it... you actually have a character of a big-time selfish jerk up until now for me to be honest. You should just rot in hell yo-- you lanky-lonely-lifeless-lunatic."

Please don't judge me. A pissed me is like a senseless me. At first, he gave me one of his amused looks before his eyes turned cold and sharp, narrowing into slits. Making me curse under my breath before a sinister smirk spread across his mouth as he said in a torturing slow yet dangerously firm voice.

"You want to know what I meant by 'A girl like you' huh? Fine."

This isn't good.

Great! Now I don't want to hear it anymore. He pointed his finger at me from top to bottom as he gave me his disgusted expression before saying. "This."

I frowned. Huh?

"I am Nuraan Khan, Ms. Hussain. There's a standard that I have to maintain. There are people who look up to me. I have an image I need to worry about. We may be married and all but that doesn't change the fact that we are pols apart. We don't belong together. We never did, we never will. It's funny you even dare expect me to be friends with you out of all people I mean..."

He stopped shaking his head negatively as he pointed his hand towards me, letting out an insolent chuckle.

"Look at you. What are you? Just another average-looking rich brat? What respectable man would ever want to be friends with a girl who just goes around dancing with a random dude, singing songs for him, getting in between fights, agreeing to go on a lunch with someone who she just met yesterday, stooping down low enough to even be in a pretend relationship for what? To spend a day with a guy? Oh and not to mention going around kissing literally anybody who can sweet talk you for a mome---"

I raised my hand up stopping him. I could feel my visions turning slightly blurry. My hands were shaking slightly as I tried my best to stop my lips from quivering.

"Stop." I mentally cringed at my shaky voice before getting up from the bed. I would be lying if I say I didn't expect him to say something harsh but THIS was pure evil of him. It was too much. His chuckle made me clench my jaw as he continued.

"Life isn't exactly how blissful you think it is Ms. Hussain. People here are not always about rainbows and butterflies. If only you'd bother yourself to get out of that Lala land of yours would you know what it is to live in a world as cruel as this?" He chuckled.

"Who am I talking to? You're probably one of those rich, naive girls born with a silver spoon? Well, lemme tell you, princess. This isn't a fairytale."

Tears stung my eyes.

I wanted to shout and at the same time laugh at him. This guy here thinks I 'don't' know how cruel this world can be. Wow. Talk about being delusional. What did I even ask from him? Friendship.

THAT'S ALL!

Honestly, I have no idea why he overreacted so fuckin much but one thing I know is he went wayy too far with his words. But again isn't that exactly what people nowadays do. They speak without giving a fuck of how badly it could hurt the other person.

I chuckled

"You really think you know me, don't you? Well, guess what Mr. Nuraan Khan news flash you don't! You literally have zero ideas of how much I know this world and how cruel it can be! Do you understand ZERO!"

It's been years since i last shouted at someone this bad. Well again. It's been years since anyone spoke to me like that.

And I wasn't done.

"You keep asking me who I am, right? But tell me something who the hell do you think you are to even dare to call me a 'clumsy, naive, arrogant, rich brat', huh!? You bloody have the audacity to question my character!? My character! You just stooped too low, Mr. Nuraan Khan. You really did."

'Not to mention going around kissing literally anybody.'

Anybody?

'Anybody can do this'

Yaa right, Anybody. Will this accusation ever leave me?

That word kept haunting me for years. And now when they finally stopped I found something new. Great job.

"After all that's what you've always thought of me haven't you? Well guess what Mister, I don't go around dancing with random dudes or going on lunch, forget fooling around kissing them, and Not to mention it was your idea for this pretense thing for all I know YOU are the desperate whimp here! Everything I ever did start from singing to getting into a fight was never meant for anybody."

I took a deep breath. I could hear the loud thunder and sound of heavy rain pouring down as tears finally trailed down my eyes.

"I did it for my husband."

I could feel my insides churn as I bit out every word. I would be lying if I say I don't take him as family. Hell! He became my family the very moment I said those two words- I do. But what did he think of me in return? A characterless rich bitch? That's right. That's what he thinks of me. That's what he has always thought, huh? I couldn't help but make a disgusted face at him. Lie. All that concern and every single time he slightly cared was a lie.

And I got played.

His expression was blank all throughout but for a moment I thought I saw regret in them. Holy cow was I wrong? He clenched his jaw before gulping down on his saliva as he looked away and said.

"Stop this drama."

Every wall inside me broke like a dam. If I had tried controlling my tears back then, then this time I surely will fail. My lips started quivering. All my life I thought I was a strong person. How wrong was I because I clearly was emotionally weak? This guy just managed to make me feel that way! I was hurt.

Does he think I'm faking it?

That's it! I'm not gonna use any filter anymore! I'm no saint. At that moment the only thing I wanted to do was hurt him. Hurt him with my words just as much as he did to me. He may not realize but his words managed to just scrap my already wounded soul and I was not gonna let him go just like that.

Getting up from his bed I saw him walk towards the glass window of the balcony with his back towards me. An insolent bitter smirk spread across my lips although I could still feel my tears warming my face as I said.

"I took you as a lot of things, but disrespectful and insensitive."

I could see the way his back tensed at my words yet I continued.

"Guess I was wrong about you throughout." I chuckled insolently. "In case you ever wonder why she left you? Then let me enlighten you with the answer."

I quickly shut my mouth the moment his head snapped towards me and the moment I realized that this could be a very sensitive topic for him.

Brain: Do it! Do it! Do it!
Heart: Don't.

"You deserved it." Those words left my mouth even before I could stop them. I could see the way his eyes swirled with emotions I couldn't put a finger on. I clenched my jaw.

"People like you deserve to be alone forever because you guys don't give a shit about others' feelings. Haven't you heard of the saying you reap as you sow? Hell insensitive jerks like you don't even deserve someone's care---

Stop, please!

"Forget getting someone's love."

With those words said I quickly pulled the door open before shutting it with a loud bang behind me and releasing a sigh of relief as I was finally out of his intimidating glare when the realization hit me.

What did I just do?

Oh no! Shit shit shit shit!

Cruel! Pure Cruel Raqeeba! How could you do that to him!?

Cupping my face I cried in my palm. Great. After everything he did, I feel like it's my fault now.

I could feel my hands shake as every word I said kept repeating in my mind.

You deserved it.

People like you deserve to be alone forever because you guys don't give a shit about others' feelings.

Insensitive jerks like you don't even deserve someone's care

Forget getting someone's love.

Fresh tears collected in my eyes as I cursed myself and screamed with my mouth shut. I do that a lot. Shaking my head I mentally wanted to kick myself for being so mean.

How could I?

I was so... so selfish back then. Guilt rushed through my veins like drugs. Each part of me was ashamed of myself and the stunt I just pulled back there.

I just managed to put salt on his wound.

Well done, Raqeeba! I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as my mother's eyes came into the view of my vision along with the words which she always taught me.

You're not perfect, Raqeeba.
You can always make mistakes and hurt people, but remember when you apologise for your wrongs, mean it.

Apologizing doesn't always mean you're wrong or the other person is right.
It just shows how you value your relations"

My eyes shot open as I took a deep breath. That's right. I should always apologise if I feel I was wrong.

And that.

I was.

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Btw how was it?
How many of you hate Raqeeba here?
Or Nuraan?
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