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 ♯ ❝ PLEASE BE OKAY. ❞
PROLOGUE ･ﾟ' ੈ 🤖 ⨳˚ :*
 ─ tragedy of the commons ─ 
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         THE AIR IN THE RESTAURANT GENTLY WAFTED WITH THE COMFORTING SCENT OF SIZZLING TERIYAKI AND WARM, YEASTY BREAD. The restaurant was a haven of warmth, a stark contrast to the cool air that seeped inside every time the door was pushed open, and new customers arrived.

        Outside, the Tokyo sky was a canvas of fiery orange and deep indigo, the last rays of the setting sun painting long shadows across the bustling streets—marking the end of the day for most businesses, as the radiant lights of the city hummed to life.

       People were scattered throughout the tables of the place, families sitting together in comfortable communion, while others were  perched on the lone stools in front of the bar. The warm yellow glow of the lanterns of the ceiling cast a comforting light on the wooden floor and white, cushioned booths.

       (Y/N) found herself in a booth next to the window. She had upcoming gig tonight, yet this wasn't the reason for why she was here. Sitting across from her were two of her bandmates, Asuna and Lin, who were oblivious to her growing unease. 

        Lin, the drummer, belted out a hearty laugh, chopsticks deftly maneuvering through a steaming bowl of ramen. A strand of noodle dangled from his mouth, eliciting unimpressed roll of eyes from the girls.

       Asuna, ever the picture of effortlessly cool, and also the keyboard player, sketched on her notebook, her brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to capture the restaurant's chaotic energy on paper. 

       (Y/N), on the other hand, tapped her foot impatiently against the floor, the rhythm a counterpoint to the jazzy tune that played softly on the radio.

        Her touch lingering gingerly against the glass of water the waiter had kindly brought to her. As her fingers traced the condensation on the glass of water before her. 

        Droplets pooled and slid down the glass, each one an echo of her inner turmoil, her silver rings clicking softly against the surface—a sound almost drowned out in the warm chatter of the restaurant.

         She was dressed in her signature style. A striking blue shirt adorned with silver stars that reflected light, contrasting strikingly against her baggy black leather pants. High-heeled, black boots completed the ensemble, grounding her in the present even as every thread felt heavy with expectation. 

         Her bass guitar case leaned against the booth beside her, a baby blue that exuded familiarity. A part of her identity that had traveled far more that felt more than just an instrument. The case resonated with her artistic side. The material was soft and worn, as a result of countless rehearsals and performances.

        It was adorned with a collage of stickers, which recorded her time in America, telling the tales of its vibrant cities and tranquil landscapes. 

        All the while, it was also embellished with patches of her favorite bands and musical influences. The tapestry was completed by hand painted cherry blossoms that trailed across the fabric, which Asuna had made for whenever she missed her home.

       As (Y/N) forced a smile at the fans who recognized her, it felt strained, a tight lipped gesture to mask the whirlpool of emotions churning inside her. 

       Every passing minute stretched like shadows made longer by the setting sun. A clutter of forks and laughter seemed distant, the warm air feeling colder, more piercing, yet she longed to blend in, to be part of the vibrant life swirling around her.

       A knot of dread that tightened with every passing minute, feeling similar to the pre gig jitters she got from time to time when she performed. She couldn't believe she was back in Tokyo after so long, but her feelings about her return were all over the place. 

       The minutes ticked by, each second stretching like shadows cast by the setting sun. What if her parents were still angry? What if they were disappointed in her? What if they questioned her choices? 

      Their reunion after their years apart loomed closer with each passing heartbeat. It felt like a mirror reflecting the scars of a relationship worn thin.

       She could already tell her parents were going to keep her waiting, as usual. Part of her wished they would show up soon, while another part secretly hoped they would postpone the meeting to another day altogether.

      "What about the next gig? Are you excited?" " Lin grinning at her with his mouth still half full. His question pierced through the silent atmosphere among the table, clearly oblivious to the storm brewing in her heart. 

       His question pulled her back from the edge of her thoughts, startling her. She blinked, momentarily disoriented before nodding.

       "Yeah, totally," (Y/N)'s voice was a touch too bright, that of which sounded foreign even to her own ears. Her laugh was strained, a hollow echo as she fought to keep the reality of her situation at bay.

        Asuna looked up from her sketch, her eyes narrowing questioningly, meticulously studying (Y/N) as though she could peel back the layers of her discomfort. "You seriously need to loosen up. You're like a tightly coiled spring. Did something happen?" 

       Her pencil hovered over the page, a light smudge of graphite marking the place she'd abandoned as she shot (Y/N) a concerned look, her lips twisting into a tiny grimace.

       (Y/N) forced a smile, shrugging as nonchalantly as she could muster, her movement automatic, yet it felt like an elaborate dance to stave off a deeper conversation. 

      "Nah, just... it's been a while since I've been home, you know? Just adjusting." It wasn't a lie, but it certainly wasn't the entire truth. The evening held more weight than she dared share.

       She could feel Asuna and Lin's eyes still on her, somehow both comforting and stifling, anchoring her to the hazy present while the haunting past threatened to drown her. She wished she could be more present, but the cloud of her upcoming confrontation loomed large.

       "Adjusting? It's been what, two weeks?" Lin quipped, amusement lingering in his tone, though the glint of genuine concern flickered in his eyes. 

       "It's taking a little longer than I thought." His observation dug deeper than a playful jab, and she found herself shrinking under the weight of it. 

        The words lingered in the air like a shroud, and Asuna's gaze remained steady, narrowing slightly as if able to slice through the chit chat fray and grasp at the heart of the matter.

        Asuna glanced at her again, narrowing her eyes slightly as if she could read her thoughts. "You really need to talk to them," She urged, her voice gentle but firm. "It's been years, (Y/N). No matter how you feel now, wouldn't it be better to just clear the air?"

       The reassuring laughter of nearby families seemed to taunt her, a reminder that her own family, her relationship with her parents, hung by a thread. She forced another smile, though it felt more like a mask each time it surfaced.

      The girl fiddled with the hem of her striking blue shirt, adorned with silver stars that seemed to mock her insecurities. A muted sigh escaped her lips. "I know, it just feels so complicated."

       Lin cut in, continuing to eat without a care in the world. "Complicated or not, you should at least try. You're not that girl who ran away anymore, right?" His words were meant to be encouraging, yet they landed heavily, and she could only nod, her throat tightening. 

      Asuna gave him a jab to his stomach, in return, giving him a warning glare which earned a protesting whine from the drummer, to which a chuckle escaped from (Y/N).

      The door swung open again, the bell tinkling lightly, cutting through her thoughts as two familiar faces stepped inside. A swirl of cold air rushed in with him, whispering warnings in hushed tones as she inhaled sharply, feeling time stretch in a peculiar, elongated manner.

       (Y/N) minimized her presence, feeling as though she could merge with the background, realizing the lack of confidence she exuded at that moment as Hiroshi scanned the room, his brow furrowed under the dim lighting. 

      But Hiroshi's eyes flitted toward her, leaving her to sigh under her breath as if mustering up the strength to get up, all the while her friends gave her sympathetic, encouraging looks.    

      "We'll just head over to the venue," Asuna announced lightly, giving Lin a light nudge. The two slipped from the booth, leaving (Y/N) to face her parents alone.

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        SILENCE EMBRACED THE TABLE, PULLING HER PARENTS CLOSE BEFORE RELUCTANTLY SHOVING THEM INTO THE WARM LIGHT OF CONVERSATION. Overwhelmed, (Y/N) averted her gaze, her fingers tracing the edges of her bass case, as if grounding her in a reality that felt increasingly surreal. She was already regretting her life choices.

     "Hey, it's busy tonight," Her father ventured, his voice tentative as if stepping on shifting ground. His smile was wide yet strained, revealing the gap that yawned between them. 

     They had once shared such comfortable conversations, the flow as natural as air, but now the words wrestled awkwardly in the air, half formed yet never materializing to cross the frayed distance.

    "Yeah," (Y/N) murmured, her voice faint against the clamor of the restaurant. She focused on the intricacies of the table's grain, as if studying the pattern could somehow provide clarity. "We thought we'd catch a bite before the gig." 

     Mai's features softened yet the hint of uncertainty remained, a delicate shadow across her features as she stared towards her daughter. "It's nice to finally see you," Her voice warmer but laced with cautious hope.

    A lump formed in (Y/N)'s throat as she nodded, forcing a weak smile. "You too, Mom." Yet even her smile felt like a poor imitation of what it should be. 

    It felt like a feeble attempt to convey warmth that got lost in translation. The motherly gaze that usually provided comfort now filled (Y/N)'s heart with a mix of guilt and longing.

    As the conversation stumbled forward, it felt more like a dance with two left feet than a natural conversation. The topics were small and safe, picked carefully as if they were fragile ornaments that could shatter at the slightest touch.

    Hiroshi sensed the tense atmosphere between them and attempted to brighten things up. "What about the band? How's everything going?" He carried his words with decent effort, trying to fill the empty spaces with something—anything. But they were also tainted with an undertone of concern.

     With a shrug, (Y/N) took a sip of her water before answering, "We're good. Busy, but definitely finding our rhythm." She could see the flicker of understanding in their eyes, each pass of conversation landing heavily.

    "Busy sounds good," Mai hummed in approval, while her husband nodded, their hands clasped nervously together underneath the table, a gesture that carried a longing for something more than small talk. "I'm glad you're back in Tokyo. It's... it's important to reconnect with home." 

    "Yeah," She echoed, every syllable weighed with a quiet sadness that ricocheted against the corners of the walls, the noise fading into a dull hum in her ears. The laughter from other tables felt almost mocking. "Home." How strange it felt to say that word now, with so much distance between them.

     Once the conversation died down again, Hiroshi inhaled heavily,  searching for his next words. "I don't want to bring it up, but—" His voice barely rising above the steady hum of the restaurant, as to avoid the prying ears of the people around them.

     (Y/N) immediately understood where this was going, a frown creasing her eyebrows. She made a scoffing sound, which caused Hiroshi to stop.

    It began to feel stifling, suffocated by what she knew he would say next. She pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth getting more anxious. "I can't." The warmth faded from Hiroshi's eyes as he blinked in surprise.

    Panic gripped her heart, forcing her to shake her head slightly, a wordless plea. "I can't be Astro, Dad." 

    (Y/N) could see the disbelief dance in Hiroshi's eyes as she spoke, his confusion melding with a quiet hurt that cut like glass. The silence that followed cleared the air but left sharp edges. 

   Hiroshi lowered his voice, avoiding the prying ears of the other people in the restaurant, "Moonbug." Her stomach dropped at the familiar nickname. "With me injured, and Hayao out there alone," 

   Her breath quickened, defiance mixing with fear as she avoided his eyes. "Someone else must take over." He presses on, his gaze following her own wavering one until he had her attention once more, her face shifting into a frown.

   Reaching underneath the table, his fingers emerged holding a small, neatly wrapped object, making her stifle a gasp as she knew all too well what lied within there. The cloth was a deep indigo, soft but worn, a faded pattern of intricate symbols embroidered along the edge

  "You brought it here?" She whispered incredulously, not hearing what he would say.

  "You have no idea how important this is," An urgent tone seeped into Hiroshi's words, each forming a barrier between them, one that she felt unprepared to cross. But the truth was, she didn't want to be strong like that. She wanted her life back, the simple parts that felt like they would never return.

  "I can't do it," Her voice trembled as she nervously fiddled with her silver rings, trying to calm herself down. "I don't want to."

  "You're strong, (Y/N). You were meant for this," Each word was laced with an unspoken urgency that threatened to drown her. But the truth was, she didn't want to be strong in that way. She just wanted her family back, the comfort of connection. She felt the air closing in around them, wrapping tighter around her throat. "No." 

  "But why do I have to be a hero?" Her voice wavered, rising with frustration. "I didn't ask for this. I just want to play my music and be me." Her heart raced, the truth threatening to spill over as she felt cornered by expectations.

   A heavy pause settled upon the table, the moment punctuated by the distant sound of a glass being dropped, shattering the tension for a brief second before it resumed like an oppressive weight.

  "You're not just (Y/N)," His voice was lower now, almost a whisper, but it felt like an accusation. "You're part of something bigger, and—"

  "And what if I don't want that?" She interjected, her voice trembling, barely held together. "What if I just want to be with my family, have a normal life? You can't force me to be Astro,"

   Mai sighed softly with a sad smile across her face, trying to take her daughter's hand into hers, but instead was brushed away. "It's not who I am." She claimed in a mutter, blinking back the stingy sensation in her eyes. 

   Mai who was sitting tight lipped finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "We're not trying to force you-"

  (Y/N) clenched her knuckles by her side bitterly chuckling, "It sure feels like it." She sniffled with a shake of her head. "I'm happy with my life. Why do I have to change?"

  The restaurant continued to buzz around them, but they felt set apart, trapped in their own world of misunderstandings. Hiroshi finally took a breath, the disappointment etched across his face cutting her deeper than she had expected. 

  "(Y/N), this is about more than just you. You're part of something that could change everything." His eyes searched hers. The pleading in them made her stomach twist.

  "I'm sorry if I disappointed you again." She bitterly whispered now, brushing away a stray tear. Her mother placed a hand over her heart, looking hurt by her words. 

  "How can you think that?" Mai's voice cracked. "We love you. We just want you to be, the best you."

  "Maybe the best me doesn't look like what you want," (Y/N) hummed monotonously, her voice steadying, an odd calmness washing over her. "I'm no one's hero."

  Her words hung in the air, thickening the silence. She could feel the walls closing in, each second weighing heavier on her chest.

  "I need to go." The words slipped past her lips before she had a chance to think, her voice quiet but resolute. Slipping from the booth, she grabbed her bass case, feeling its familiar weight as if it anchored her. 

  "(Y/N)," Hiroshi called, reaching out for her arm, but she stepped back, shaking her head, the rush of emotions spilling over. She took a moment to breathe, biting the inside of her cheek as she stood, her heart pounding in her chest.

   Looking back over her shoulder, she sighed heavily. "It was nice seeing you," The words feeling like a bitter goodbye. And with that, she walked away, leaving behind the weight of expectations and the love that felt too heavy to carry.

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     THE AIR WAS THICK WITH SMOKE, CLOGGING HER LUNGS AS (Y/N) WALKED THROUGH THE DESERTED STREETS. Dust coated her skin, clinging to her clothes like a specter of the chaos that had erupted. She felt it in her hair, a gritty reminder of the panic that had swept through the streets just moments earlier. 

    Each step sent pain shooting through her leg, a reminder of the chaos she'd narrowly escaped. She could feel the throbbing ache but pressed forward, gripping her bass case like a lifeline, her fingers digging into the fabric as if it could shield her from it all.

   Her heart raced, but not from fear rather from the weight of everything that had just happened. The bright lights of the restaurant felt like a distant memory, replaced now by the echo of sirens and the growl of a kaiju in the distance. With each heavy step, she blankly stared ahead, processing what had just happened.

   Scattered debris lay everywhere; pieces of concrete, shattered glass, remnants of life that was so quickly disrupted. The smoky air stung her eyes, making her blink against the haze. 

   There was a stillness now, but she could remember the chaos from just moments ago the screams, the shudder of the ground, the explosive force that had sent everyone running. The streets were eerily quiet, the usual hustle and bustle replaced by an uncomfortable stillness. It felt wrong, as if the very air shifted in mourning for what had just been lost. 

  (Y/N)'s boots crunched on the rubble as she navigated the path, her eyes glazed over, unable to fully understand her surroundings. 

   Tears stung her eyes as she stumbled over jagged pieces of concrete, the ache in her leg intensifying with each step. She blinked, trying to erase the heat that threatened to spill over. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She had just walked away from her parents, and disaster struck.

   "Please be okay." She whispered to herself repeatedly, her stomach dropping as she turned the corner, approaching the once familiar spot that was now unrecognizable. The building lay in ruins, debris scattered everywhere, the once-vibrant exterior now a ghostly shadow. 

   Jagged pieces of metal protruded from the ground like misaligned teeth, and the air was dense with the smell of smoke and something acrid, a scent that made her stomach churn.

   A shuddering breath escaped her lips as she peered into the wreckage, a mixture of dread and desperation flooding her senses. "No, no." She repeated over and over again.

  The tears that had pooled at the corners of her eyes, now broke free, running down her face rapidly, mixing with the dirt smearing her cheeks. 

  Ignoring the pain in her leg, (Y/N) fell to her knees, feeling the scratch of debris against her palms as she began to hopelessly dig through the rubble. 

  As the dust swirled around her, blinding her and clogging her throat, she finally unearthed something smudged with debris. It glimmered in the dim light filtering through the crushed beams around her. Trembling, she reached out, pulling the object free, holding it delicately in her hands.

  A sharp sob escaped her lips, the familiar blue stone staring back at her, painfully mocking her.

( ᴬᵁᵀᴴᴼᴿˢ ᴺᴼᵀᴱ ) 🦋
𝘿𝘼𝙄𝙇𝙔𝘽𝙐𝙂𝙂𝙇𝙀𝙕 ━
❪ ✏️ ❫ 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳𝚂 : 3576

HEY i hope you guys liked this chapter. i am aware that it took me a while to get this updated but i did not realize junior year would actually affect me so much, and it is just the start— like WHAT? honestly this is what I get for signing up for AP 🤧 but I hadn't had time to update this book and it was KILLING me because I realize I still have an unhealthy obsession with Ken

anywayss don't be silent readers, tell me how it's going so far. give me writing tips suggestions or don't  either way i hope you like it  <33