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I stand in front of a large building, my head is bent backwards as I look up the many levels.

I look down again, looking at my phone and rechecking if I am the right place.

This building seems expensive, but after all, this person must still be rich from his best days and what if all that has happened haven't been as tough on him as on someone else I know?

I walk closer to the entrance, searching through all the buttons to find the name I was looking for.

Bingo, I think as my eyes find the name after searching almost every other.

I push the button, waiting for the door in front of me to open. It must be some kind of door bell, right?

But instead I make a jump as a voice sounds from near where I pushed the button.

"Who is this?"

I find the speaker where the sound is coming from and spot a camera a bit above it.

Can he see me?

I straighten up and clear my throat, "Hi, is this Kim Namjoon?"

"Speaking." The speaker simply replies.

"Hi, I'm Y/n. I'm a news reporter." I lie. I have to be undercover, I cannot tell him I looked him up on the internet and that actually I'm from the future and am here to save a former friend of his, and that I need his help.

"What does a news reporter want from me? And where's your stuff?"

I look up at the camera I suppose he's looking at me through, gulping down.

Maybe I should've thought this a bit more through before proceeding with my undone plan.

I fold out my arms as I don't have anything on me that would indicate that I'm a news reporter. However, I grab my phone and show it to the camera, forcing a smile to make me seem somewhat credible, and kind.

A sigh is heard through the speaker—or maybe more like a grunt.

"Are you sure you're not a fan or an anti?"

I almost choke on my own spit as he asks. Maybe I don't look like a real news reporter, but this guy must be clever anyway because I know that a lot of people would invite in a news reporter any time—anything for a bit of screen time and spotlight, right?

"Please don't seek me out or pay me any visits. I'm a private person and I don't appreciate it. Have a nice day."

The green light that I haven't even noticed is on until now turns off and the doors stay closed.

"Wait!" I yell, but there's no reply.

"Shit!" I curse under my breath.

How am I going to bring BTS back together if I can't even approach the supposed leader?

I thought coming as a news reporter and journalist would be an easy way of getting to talk to him, but seems it's not.

But I can't give up and I won't. This is my job and I cannot give up.

I push the button again and the small glass bubble next to Kim Namjoon's name turns green.

"Aish, it's still you?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Kim, but I really want to interview you. I don't have anything more with me than my phone because this is a private interview for a small news paper. I haven't brought cameras because I'm not going to film you. I'm sorry for disturbing you, but this is my job and my boss have threatened me that I can lose my job if I don't come up with some good work within a week..." I lie.

Lying sometimes comes so naturally to me. I've taken on many different roles as I've traveled in time. I am used to lying by now, but still it never seems totally right.

There is a short silence as I halt my lie and the speaker doesn't reply. I look to my side, seeing the green light is still on, so he's still here.

I look at the ground and take a deep breath before looking up at the camera, hoping Namjoon is looking back at me, "Today is my last day..." I say and face the ground after again.

"Miss..."

"Y/n." I lift my head as his voice sounds.

"Miss Y/n... I'm sorry that that is your situation, but—"

"Please. I worked so hard for this job. I can make you anonymous if that's what you want." I say but really it doesn't add up in my mind.

If I really was a news reporter and journalist and I am here to interview former leader of BTS, Kim Namjoon, what was the purpose if he was to be anonymous?

But that doesn't matter as a sigh again sounds through the speaker and a click sounds after as the door opens.

Right, so they have automatic doors, I think shortly before smiling at the camera.

"I'll give you 10 minutes." He almost grunts, but really I understand. I must've been so annoying. A desperate journalist that is determined and won't go without an interview, while that is probably the last thing he wants.

I feel quite bad about it, but it's gonna paint a bigger picture, he just can't see it yet.

I find the door to his apartment after some time. It's a big apartment complex he lives in. I knock and the door opens shortly after, revealing a tall, light brown haired guy wearing sweats and a big t-shirt.

I gulp, feeling like I'm pushing it and invading his privacy.

"Come in." Namjoon speaks up and moves so I can enter his apartment.

"Thank you." I bow and enter the apartment, walking with slow steps as I take in the big room. It's very minimalistic styled and it's almost giving me a feeling of satisfaction as I observe how he's decorated his home. I notice a big book shelf, full of books and in front of it a chair and a small table. On it, is a cup half full of coffee and an open book, which again makes me feel guilty for showing up like this and pushing myself on him.

"So, ask me." Namjoon says and I turn around to face him.

I quickly wonder why he doesn't ask me to sit somewhere, but I shrug away the thought as I understand how I'm interrupting him in the middle of his reading time.

"Right..." I say and gulp the lump in my throat.

"So, how are you doing?" I ask.

"How I'm doing?" Namjoon asks back and I nod.

"I'm doing fine." He replies simply.

"That's good to hear." I say out of kindness, "What have you been doing since BTS disbanded two years ago?"

Namjoon looks away as he shakes his head, "There's been countless of other journalists asking me that, are you sure that's going to be the focus point of your article?" Namjoon speaks and I feel like I shrink in my spot.

He's so well spoken and well thought and even though I'm not an actual reporter, I lose some of the confidence I had built up as I was invited inside his home.

"I—This is an interview. I know what I'm asking." I say but I don't sound nearly as certain as I want.

"Sure..." Namjoon breathes and crosses his arms over his chest.

"I've been doing nothing really. At the beginning, I tried staying on the track I'd laid in front of me myself, I kept writing music and rapping. But I lost interest quickly due to a lot of things I don't really like to speak about. Since then I've been writing for a few artists, but other than that I'm just being at home, trying to figure out what I want to do. But all of this must be old news to you. There's nothing new, but there's your answer."

"Right, thank you." I reply. Actually, I don't care what he's been up to, I just need to sound like an actual journalist before I grab around the tougher topics.

"So—"

"Aren't you going to write what I'm saying down or something?" Namjoon interrupts me.

I shake my head and quickly grab my phone, "Right." I chuckle nervously.

Fuck I look like a coward

"I've never had an interview where the interviewer remembers it all by memory."

I chuckle again but stop as I look up at him and notice how his expression is collected in a frown and he doesn't seem to find it amusing at all, rather suspicious.

I turn on my phone and pretend as if I'm writing stuff down in notes before I look back up at him and clear my throat again—it seems so awfully dry as I speak to him.

"So tell me about your relationship with the members." I say.

Namjoon lets out something between a laugh and a scoff. I gulp again, feeling my body starting to sweat. Why am I so nervous? Is it because I know I didn't prepare well enough for this, or is it because Namjoon is way more clever than what I had expected.

"Are you sure you're a news reporter?"

"I am." I say in the most confident tone I can find within me.

A short silence falls over us like a heavy carpet and I feel my existence grow smaller and smaller. Namjoon looks me straight in my eyes and I have to divert his gaze as I feel defeated.

"I'm done with this interview. Sorry for disappointing you, but please leave." He says in a rather calm voice even though his words seem aggressive. He walks towards me, placing a hand on my back and guiding me towards his door.

"But—"

"Have a nice day." He grabs the handle and opens the front door to his apartment.

"Wait!" I say and stand still. Namjoon isn't pushing me, only guiding me and he removes his hand as I stand my ground.

"Look, I'm sorry about your job but—"

"I'm Jungkook's friend." I interrupt him.

He shuts his mouth and tilts his head slightly. He squints his eyes as if he doesn't believe me and he's about to get angry with me.

"I swear, I'm Jungkook's friend. Here, look." I rush the words out and find Jungkook's contact in my phone in a hurried manner and show it to Namjoon before he kicks me out.

He grabs my phone and holds it for a while before he gives it back to me. He takes a step back, but still holds the door open.

"What do you want?" He questions.

"I—It's Jungkook... He's not doing well and—"

"Why, what's wrong?"

The interruption and question comes as a bit of a shocker to me. They haven't spoken for about two years, yet it's obvious the concern that filled Namjoon's eyes.

"Calm down, he's okay but..." I say firstly, even though I know he's not doing okay.

"Jungkook misses you lots. He doesn't have many people who cares. He's lonely and he needs you." I say bluntly.

I see the relief in Namjoon's eyes before he finds my eyes again and speak in a slightly unbothered tone, "What does he need me for? We're not friends like we used to be."

"But Namjoon— sorry, Mr. Kim—"

"Namjoon is fine."

"Namjoon... what is it that makes you think you can't be friends again?"

Namjoon closes the door behind me and leaves me at the entrance as he walks to his couch, sitting down in it. He pats the spot next to him before he folds his hands on his knees.

"I know what happened to you guys, but nothing about it would cause you to leave each other. You did that to yourselves." I say.

Namjoon's head falls between his shoulders.

"You know what happened between us through the media.." He lets out almost in a whisper.

I don't say anything, which may have seemed like a silent yes to Namjoon as he lifts his head and faces me.

"Y/n you may have read about what happened to us, but you don't know how it really was. You haven't felt the pain of losing one of your younger brothers. You weren't there to feel the pressure that was on us while we all tried to find our own ways to handle the grief."

"I know but—"

"No you don't. You don't know how the company forced us to cope because we had a comeback the same year. They forced us, threatened us but we were all broken."

He speaks with a clear sadness in his voice, but no tears are showing. Maybe that's how Namjoon coped, forgetting about the pain.

"We had to split up. The pressure that was put on us was too much." His voice cracks through the last words.

"But you were friends." I say and hesitantly place a hand on his back. He doesn't move and I start stroking it, hoping it would make him feel better.

"I can only speak for myself, but I could not look them in the eyes. As their leader, I felt like I had failed them. I failed them all, I failed the company, I failed Taehyung..."

"Namjoon you didn't."

"How? How can you say that? You're not me, you don't know the burden of being the leader of the biggest band in the world and having to take on the role only days after losing a member. You don't know how tough it is, so how do you know?"

Namjoon still isn't crying. It surprises me how much he's capable of hiding his emotions. Maybe all the pain has numbed him. Is he able to cry still?

I take a deep breath as I feel myself getting a bit emotional, "I don't... But I know one thing." I say and search Namjoon's eyes.

"I know that one needs you. Jungkook needs you. He needs all of you. You were his big brothers, his best friends and even though it hurt you as well, you all abandoned him." I say.

Namjoon looks away from me, shaking his head.

"It's not like I wanted to leave him." He breathes.

"I know..." I say and a short moment of silence hits us.

"Jimin is in the hospital." I voice, breaking the silence.

Namjoon straightens up and looks at me with widened eyes, "What? Why?"

I look away from him, feeling like I'm getting way too emotional right now. I'm working, I'm not supposed to get my feelings involved. But it's so hard. What Namjoon has told me has hit deep and I feel like an unwanted person who's only making him feel worse.

My fingers fumble with each other and I observe as they do so. I take a deep breath and gather myself before speaking, "I'm not quite sure, but I think he stopped eating."

I'm not sure if it's my place to make an assumption of why Jimin is in the hospital, but after researching it I thought that must be the reason. And I need Namjoon to understand how important his help is and how much the others actually need him.

"Again?" He asks in almost a whisper.

I nod, looking over at him again and his gaze has fallen.

"Namjoon, I know you miss Jungkook, Jimin and the others much. You've been best friend for 10 years and more. You've went through a lot together and you don't get over friendships like that in a blink of a moment. It takes time, but you don't have to get over them."

I take a break, noticing Namjoon's tense position, but he was listening.

"They need you, but you need them too. I feel like you all have let go of each other way too quickly and I think deep down, you all miss each other... I'm thinking of contacting every member, making you all realize that you need each other—"

"Why do you care?" Namjoon interrupts me. He looks at me and for the first time I see the tears in his eyes.

Because it's my job.

"Because Jungkook is my friend and I hate to see him fail himself every day when he stays in bed, feeling lonely and regrettable about what has happened."

Namjoon blinks and a single tear trickles down his cheek, leaving a glistening stream behind it.

"I know where Hoseok lives." Namjoon speaks after a short silence.

I smile, feeling like I finally succeeded to get him on my side.

"I want to help, but I don't know much about Jin and Yoongi... I think Jin is working at a restaurant somewhere here in Seoul. I heard about it in the radio, but I'm not sure where."

"Thank you." I say genuinely. His eyes meet mine and he smiles a closemouthed smile. The first smile I've seen on him today. Dimples form on his cheeks as he does so and his eyes disappear a little. It makes me feel warm inside.

I get up from the couch, clearing my throat, "Thank you for helping m—Jungkook... I really appreciate it." I say and Namjoon gets up from the couch as well.

Namjoon walks to a drawer and pulls out a pen. He writes something down and gives it to me. I look down at the paper. I reckon it's an address and I smile at Namjoon once again. This is gonna be a bit easier now.

"Here, this is where Hoseok works. He's a dance teacher. He's the only one I've talked to since we all disbanded. I'll try to give him a call, but he's really busy so I think you might have to catch him at work."

"Thank you." I look down at the paper again.

"You're welcome."

"I won't waste your time for any longer." I say and walk towards the front door.

"It's fine, you seem like a really kind person. I get why Jungkook chose you as a friend."

"Oh, about that..." I say, biting my lip slightly, "You can't tell Jungkook about this." I point my finger between our bodies, referring to our meeting.

Namjoon tilts his head with a frown, "Why?"

"Just because... I don't want him to get mad at me. I mean he always acts as if he's fine and he always speaks up about not wanting or needing any help."

"Sounds like him." Namjoon whispers and shakes his head.

We say our goodbyes and I exit his apartment. I want to scream and jump out of happiness as my mission succeeded. I had lost a bit of hope when entering the apartment, but it all worked out. And now, I only have three members left.

I'm not sure whether to speak to Jimin or not. Jimin and Jungkook are already friends as it seems, and it doesn't feel right approaching a hospitalized guy, asking him for a favor.

But I'll have to see. As of right now, I only have three members left to talk to. I can do this within a few days!

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