Yoooo!! How are we??? I'm here again❤️

So, today, we have a surprise POV today💃💃 I'm so excited, lol. Guess who it is oo. Don't go and check naw, that's cheating!!😂😂

(Song for this chapter is 'Lose you to love me' by Selena Gomez...🥃🥃🥃)

Okay, so yeah, drum rolls please...

I'm actually overdramatic sha..

Oya oya, I present to you.........

~KRISDANA~

It hurts to breathe.

...came into operation on the 1st of January, 1947...

No, literally. It's difficult to breathe.

....the 1957 Conferences Major Resolutions...

Very difficult to breathe. I had been crying so much and that wasn't safe to my health.

.....divided powers between the Federal and Regional governments.....

But that wasn't my fault. The pain I felt was unbearable. My heart hurt so bad, it felt like it would soon explode. No seriously..my heart hurt that bad physically, I was scared I had ruptured something.

..the 1960 Constitution..the Senate composed of 44 members..

I get nightmares now, daymares even...Of that day.. that day my biggest fears were confirmed. That video. God, that video. He was touching her..kissing her..I knew it wasn't the first time. How many more times had they kissed like that? How many times had they fucked? Lord!

.....focus on the 1943 Richards Constitution.. focus..focus...focus..

Him. Yure. I tried searching his eyes, looking for a way to not believe it was true, but all I saw was the horror in his eyes..the horror caused by the realization that what he did had been made known. I have not felt that much fear in a very long time. At that moment, I felt my world crumbling in bits. I felt invisible walls closing in on me and sucking the oxygen out of me, rendering me unable to breathe, unable to move, unable to process...Unable to function.

....focus...focus...Lugard and the criticisms of the Indirect rule system...

He actually did it. Yure really did it. He was even helping her up the ground that day... touching her..

.....Focus.. focus..Lugard..focus only on Lord Luggard...

The nightmares, daymares, trancemares...they don't stop. And when it seems like I'm back to reality, l fall into a state of what seems like psychosis. Hearing degrading voices and taunts in my head over and over, each of them trying to break me even more. Day by day, I feel like I'm losing my mind more and more. Seems like my heart is ripping apart more and more.

I hate sleeping...

...so, I stopped sleeping?

And in all honesty, I can't even decipher what I feel at the moment. Mixed toxic feelings..Anger.. Hurt.. Shame.. Stupid..

.... Nausea?

Oh God....I feel it rising again.

Oh, no, it's coming again.

I jumped up from my bed, pushing away the Government text books on my bed that I was drowning myself in few minutes ago, and rushing into the bathroom in my room, to throw up all my dinner into the toilet bowl.

Oh, God.

When will this end?

I was almost staggering into my room from the bathroom, trying to get gravity on my good side and stay on my feet. I felt weak after throwing up. My vision started getting clouded with excessive dots and colours, my head felt like it was in dark clouds, my body weightless...it felt like I was ... leaving myself?

What? What's happening to me?

I collapsed to the floors, forcing myself and using the last bit of my energy to take in deep breaths. I was literally swallowing air desperately, to get back myself. To feel like myself again.

It wasn't working..I felt like I was slipping out into unconsciousness.. slowly..slowly..

It happened faster than I could adjust to it. So fast.

A white light flashed before my eyes and all I heard was my big brother's voice shouting.

"JESUS CHRIST, DANA!"

The sharpness and alarm in his voice literally jolted me back to wakeness, nearly even giving me a heart attack. I mean, if I was just about to die, he literally just shouted that death out of me.

I looked up to see him standing at the door of my room, a horrified expression painted his tanned, handsome face, black tank top and black joggers hugged his bulky, muscular frame, and one huge arm pressed hard against his chest in terror, while the other, was on the light switch.

I realised he just turned on the lights. I was still finding it hard to adjust to the sudden brightness the filled the room.

"Xander..," I whimpered his name, shielding my face away from the lights like a vampire.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing on the floor? Fucking stand up from there! Is your head okay?" He shouted again, sounding really furious.

It was clear he was in panic mode and he was obviously scared and worried about me. But my overly muscled, almost hulk sized big brother just didn't do too well with sentiments.

"I..," I nearly fell trying to stand and he rushed me with a speed that shocked me, taking me up in his big arms and helping me to my bed.

Surprisingly, Xander stayed patient with me. He quickly got me a glass of water to drink and let me hold on to him, until my breathing was becoming fair again.

I started to recognise my room again. The white coloured walls, the poster of celebrities all over with the inspirational quotes, the lighted vanity mirror that hung by my bed side and the reading table by it, my wardrobe at the end of the room, my bed...my big, soft, blue duvet covered bed..

For a moment, I felt detached from here. Thankfully, I was back.

"Thankyou." I whispered softly into Xander's chest, as we sat on my bed.

He scowled immediately, pushing me off him. "You're not welcome."

I laughed. Like, I really laughed. It felt strange because I hadn't laughed in a long while.A ray of softness flashed in Xander's brown eyes on noticing. He fought the smile that was thregtening to form on his lips, but he failed at that.

He had a cute, contagious kind of smile. One that could infect you no matter your mood. One that lighted up his handsome features even more.

My brother was good looking, and even I could tell. I mean, not just ordinarily good looking, the type that could make you confused as to why a human being should look so good. With his perfectly bronze, mixed skin, brown captivating eye, an impressive body and muscular physique that would make you wonder if he jacked 10 times a day. Xander stole hearts wherever he graced.

Xander Moe, guys!!!😍😍

He looked like an overgrown baby when he smiled like that, but when I tried to hug him, he stopped me, holding both of my hands tightly with one of his'. That reminded me that it was Xander we were still talking about. My overly protective, partially mean older brother.

No matter how much he scowled, I could tell he was trying so hard not to laugh anyway.

"No, seriously, Dana. I just left you for barely five minutes and you were trying to die on me. Do you think I'd ever forgive you if that happens?" He said.

"But it's not my fault!" I said in defence, and boy, I was laughing.

He couldn't fight it this time. A quick, wistful smile came on his face and the next second, he was squeezing me in a tight hug, nearly squishing my insides, as he held me dearly.

"You scared the fuck out of me, Dana." He said, not letting go.

"Please be okay. I don't know what I'd do to myself if anything happens to you." He said, looking at me now with sad, worrying eyes as soon as he broke off the hug.

"I promise." I answered.

"Good." He replied. Then, his eyes scanned my room like something was off.

"Ugh!" He groaned. I sat up alerted, wondering what was wrong.

"No wonder the room was so hot!" He said, standing up and looking for something all over the room. Soon, he found the air conditioner remote on my cupboard desk and turned it on, causing a cooler, breezier feeling to cover the entire room.

"Were you trying to cook yourself, sis?" He asked me.

"I didn't realise..,"

"Yeah, and you didn't realise you were reading in darkness too?" He raised a brow at me.

I opened my mouth to talk, but he didn't even let me.

"Don't you see these things are causing your problems?" He scolded.

"Well, I_,"

"And just look at your bed, Dana!" He looked around my bed that had all sorts of text books, past questions, leaflets and more, scattered all of it.

"I understand you want to put away all distractions and focus on Wassce, but this...," He gestured towards the slum on my bed. "..this isn't healthy at all. You haven't had a break since morning."

"Xander..,"

"Take away all those books and arrange your bed. You can talk to me after." He was straight with me.

He seemed very serious now. My brother's sudden change of moods was surely was something I'd never understand.

"Do it now." He ordered.

I nodded and complied. Started taking away my books and setting them on my desk as Xander stood there, watching me. Eventually, he just let out a sigh and lended a helping hand. Together, we cleared my bed of all the books and laid the matress and bedsheets properly.

"Now, will you talk to me?" I said, scooting into my bed.

"Well, yeah." His once again, playful voice answered as he joined me, corded muscles rippling as he climbed my bed. As soon as he rested himself up against the head board, we heard something.

Both of us paused.

It sounded like something just broke.

"Xander!" I exclaimed realising what had happened.

"Wait, what?" He sounded very confused, looking around him to understand where the sound came from.

"You just broke my bed!" I exclaimed, laughter nearly choking me.

"No, it's not possible! What are you_," he stood up to observe the head board, that he partially just unhinged from the rest of the bed with his hulk sized weight.

I nearly lost my shit when he started to try to fix it back, pushing it back together and banging behind the it repeatedly, until I literally felt myself being dropped down with force as the entire bed displaced.

"Xander!" I screamed, and at that point, I thought my laughter was going to choke me to death.

He moved from initial shock to hysteric laughing.

"The hell, I barely even touched it!" He was saying.

"You're just so destructive! Come and help me up!" I said, extending my arm to him for help.

He walked over to my side, laughing with me, and helping me up. I got out of my now deformed bed, thanks to Xander.

"It's really warming seeing you laugh like this again." He commented.

I only smiled. It was all thanks to him after all

"Come here, baby sis." He said, pulling me into another life taking hug, squishing my head between his large biceps. This would have been a sweeter experience if this hug wasn't so aggressive and threghtning to drain out the blood from my head.

"I don't want you thinking about that dumb boy anymore, okay?" He said as soon as he pulled away.

My heart dropped. Instantly, I was reminded me of reality.

"I'm here for you, okay? Talk to me at all times. I didn't leave school in S.A for nothing. Disturb my sleep if need be." He was saying.

My big brother, Xander, was a 400L medicine student, who left school and boarded a plane from South Africa to Nigeria just because his sister had a broken heart. I knew he meant every word he was saying.

It's funny though. How he can be a medical student, all in all, be so rough and destructive sometimes. But he cared...a lot.. especially about me...and he could go an extra mile for me if he had to.

"Fuck him." He was saying. "I never really liked that kid anyway. Hell curse that guy, let me just ever see the fucker on the road, I'll run him over."

"You can't do that." I chuckled.

"Let me see him first, then you'll see how serious I am." He deadpanned. There was seriousness in his eyes and I hoped he didn't mean what he was saying literally. I mean, Xander had a temper and all, but he wouldn't go that extreme, right?

Hopefully not.

I got my air beds and blew them up, setting them on the floor for me and Xander since he..well..destroyed my bed.

"Kris, I hope you know you deserve much better than him." He said to me.

I nodded softly.

"Good. And I'll keep reminding you over and over if I have to. You're beautiful and you're smart. So, if he doesn't appreciate that, then he can as well go to hell with that Pinky chick," Xander said.

"Her name is Prissy." I corrected him, fighting the urge to grind my teeth at the mention of her name. I couldn't help but also feel resentment towards her too.

"Prissy, Pinky, whatever. It's still a stupid name!" Xander replied dismissively.

"Xander!"

"What? I barely know the chick, but I can say I'm definitely not a fan. " He says non-challantly.

"And like I said before, I never really liked that Yure kid. In the end, both of them have a hand in hurting my baby sister, so they can go to hell," he concluded.

I sighed, shaking my head in diasagreement. "No.."

"No, what?"

"Neither Yure or Prissy should be blamed for how I feel, this one is all on me."I said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Xander frowned.

"I attached too much importance to Yure. I shouldn't have." I confessed.

I shouldn't have expected Xander to go all 'its not your fault' and all that crap. I know my brother to be brutally honest.

All he said was, "Why?"

Why did I attach so much importance to Yure? Why? I literally felt like I was dying the whole entire time I was merely suspecting Yure.. It felt like my world was over...

..just because of one boy.

"You and I know how human beings can fail. You can't go about putting your whole life on someone God created, you're bound to get fucked up sooner or later." He said.

His hard words of truth made my heart drop down painfully.

"I know that." I said calmly.

"So, why did you do it? Why did you trust him that much? So easily? Even after everything we had been through in the family? If your own parents could lie to us for so long? How much more...," He stopped talking there, quickly stopping himself when he noticed the look on my face.

As much as I tried to conceal the dreadful feelings that the memory of the whole thing was triggering, Xander could detect I wasn't comfortable.

He face-palmed. "I didn't mean to bring that up, I just..,"

"Nah, it's fine." I cut him short.

There was silence between us for a while and I felt bile rising up my throat.

"I desperately needed something..someone..anyone to make me feel happy again. Even if it was temporarily. Yure was like a pill to me...a means of temporary escape from reality where I could find peace and rest and just get out from the hell madness our lives were back then...that was why I let him in. Ever since Sabrina, I just..," I broke down there completely as the pain from my past all came back, racking my entire system and making me a crying mess.

Xander held on to me. He didn't say anything. He just held me. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

Years ago, before we even came to Nigeria, back when we used to live in New York..we were such a happy family. My parents; my stinking rich dad who was major in Kdrama production and my workaholic, yet flawless, model mum. Then, Xander and me. Life was perfect.

Then, one day, my dad brought this little girl back home. Her name was Sabrina. He said she was a cousin. That's what he made me and Xander believe. I was barely eleven at the time, so what did I know? I accepted her completely.

I noticed the way my parents relationship was straining slowly. How they basically became strangers to each other day by day, and I never really understood why.

All I knew was that Sabrina and I were very close. I had no choice really. With dad and mum constantly busy with work and Xander, away most of the time for boarding school, she was my only companion. And which passing day, we grew closer and closer.

Sabrina and I bonded over our talents basically. Our voices. That was what brought us together initially. She sang like a dysney princess, lol. Soft and addictive. She said I sang like a rainstorm. Turbulent, yet euphoric.

We sang a lot together. Recalling those times filled me up with Nostalgia..yet, breaks me everytime.

Sabrina got sick months after she came. Leukemia, so I heard. I remember practically living in the hospital those months she was sick. Each time I came, she was getting worse and worse.

She died eventually. That destroyed me completely. I lost my mind completely. I wasn't myself. My parents noticed. Everyone did. I was more closed up, quiet, and sometimes hostile, and showing attributes of anti-social disorder. Those were by far the worst moments of my life.

I was finally diagnosed with PTSD. My parents didn't waste time putting me on doctor's prescriptions and that's when things started to get worse. Mum started flopping in her career and Dad started drinking. Their arguments got worse. Louder. More aggressive.

It started to affect me badly. As a child that age, I constantly watched my parents nearly rip each other's throats out everyday. If affected Xander too. His grades started flopping badly. Soon, we were living a nightmare in our home.

My parents eventually decided to send us down to Nigeria. Enrolled me in Castron High to start Jss2 with Ivandor, and Xander had to go back to Ss2. They said they were doing it for our own good. They said they were taking us far away from everything that was going to trigger memories. They kept saying it was just for a while..atleast, until they're done tidying up 'a few things'.

I found out later on that that was all a lie. Maybe they did want to help us get away from anything connected to our past, anything connected to Sabrina, for our own good. But that wasn't the main reason they sent us down here.

I got the biggest shock of my life in SS2 when I found out that Sabrina was actually my dad's daughter, from another woman. My half sister. Apparently, Dad had cheated on mum years ago and had to bring in Sabrina, the result of the affair, after she had lost her mum to Cancer. That quickly explained why my parents relationship started to strain badly.

So, my parents sent us down to Nigeria because they didn't want us to know that they were getting divorced.

I didn't know that initially. All I felt when they sent me down here was that they probably wanted to get rid of me and Xander or something. Still, It felt like shit.

"Dana." Xander spoke up after the long silence between us, his hands squeezed mine. Surprisingly, gently.

"As much as I hate Yure right now, he did make me happy. If there's anything I'm grateful for, it's the fact the he actually worked fine for me as a pill." I said.

Xander only listened to me as I spoke. Hopefully, he was understanding.

"Yure was me and Ivandor's first friend in Castron High." I said.

"Oh wow." I heard him mutter.

"The first time we came to CH, Jesus, people wouldn't let us be." I told Xander, and he immediately understood. He could relate to what I was saying.

Being mixed in a Nigerian Secondary school. It's crazy really. One thing is certain and that is that you're getting attention - good attention, bad attention, every kind of attention.

The stares can get uncomfortable. I mean, let's face it, you're basically different from the others. Some people would be really nice to you. Overly nice. Infact, nicer than humans should be. Some don't care. Some would be weird. Asking all sorts of questions that are just.. absurd. Some would be mean. Very mean. Basically would not like you at first glance.

Oh, and the mean ones are very mean. I clearly remember my first encounter with Giwa Falade. She walked up to me one random day and asked me, "Do you bath in bleach?"

I nearly fought her that day. God knows, if not for the people holding me, I would have jouled the bitch up. She didn't even flinch, she literally just looked me over and the crowd calming me down like we were peasants. She left unbothered afterwards. Ofcourse, from that day onwards, Giwa and I became arch enemies.

"So, how did Yure get into the story." Xander asked, his voice, stiff with grudge.

"We sang together at the School's 'wing it' party." I responded.

The Wing it party was basically a Karaoke party organised by the SS3s'. Usually, microphones are randomly passed down amongst the crowd and whoever it finally lands on by the time the song starts has to sing. That's how it worked.

"The song playing was Almost is never enough by Ariana Grande and Nathan Skyes. The mic reached me first, then Yure." I explained.

"I couldn't believe someone my age could be able to sing that good. Singing with him felt so good. I felt soo happy that night. Yure met me and Ivan after the party and we clicked very quickly." I told Xander.

"Then, you gave him your whole heart. Just like that." Xander stated plainly.

My heart twisted and folded so painfully.

"That was the biggest mistake I ever made." I confessed.

"You had us." He said. "You had me. Ivandor. Aunty Barni and Uncle Eddy. Hell, even Sharon."

"As much as I appreciate everything that Aunty Barni and Uncle Eddy have done for us, staying at Ivan's house was very hard sometimes. Constantly, I got reminded of the fact that our family bond was strained and our parents wanted to get rid of us. If it wasn't so, I wouldn't have to be living with my cousin's family. I'd be living with my own family!" I said.

I stopped talking there, realising my voice was starting to to rise. I took in air, before continuing.

"Being with Yure made me forget the harsh reality of our fucked up family." I said calmly.

"Did he know about our family issues?" Xander asked me.

I shook my head. "No. I never told him. He doesn't even know about my PTSD."

Maybe that's why he wasn't understanding the gravity of what he put me through. If he knew, maybe things would have played out different

When I found out about the truth concerning Sabrina in SS2 and the reason we were sent to Nigeria, I shut down for a while and that was when things started to go wrong again. Ivandor's family started getting into massive debts and I felt like a burden to them. I quickly fell into depression, and distanced myself.

Yure was drifting apart..the period I needed him the most, he was straying away badly. I fail to understand why till this day, but, I strongly believe that should have been where his supposed chemistry with Prissy should have started.

I tried my best to act unbothered. I really tried. Came back for Ss3 like nothing happened. I constantly put up a smile on my face and acted like everything was okay. Like my life was at it's absolute best. Like I didn't know I was losing grip on Yure. My medicine. My only source of sanity.

I couldn't carry on when it became too much for me to handle. That time, after Miranda told me..that night I saw him that ..with Prissy. I knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong. But Christ, I was so scared. So scared to confirm my fears. So scared to lose him. So scared I wouldn't be able to handle it well. That I'd finally lose my whole mind.

The whole time I shut down, the worst things ran through my mind. Horrific thoughts. Suicidal thoughts. Self degrading thoughts. Vengeful thoughts. And God, that entire period was hell for me. I was living a nightmare.

But in the end, it was all my fault. I caused this for myself. I made him so important in my life. I shouldn't have. He was a human being. Just a boy.

"Dana, don't cry because of him. He's not worth it." I heard Xander's voice saying.

Was I crying?

"Dana, stop." He held me in my arms again, and that's when I realised I was crying. I was shaking. Trembling in my big brother's arms.

Why am I even crying? Maybe this was for the best, right? Maybe I needed to lose Yure..to love myself more. I needed this heartbreak to get back my senses. To realise that that only person I should have placed that much importance to all along was myself.

"It's okay." Xander was saying, holding me close and rubbing my hair as he tried to calm him down as I found my tears difficult to stop.

Suddenly, the door of my room creaked open.

Xander and I turned at the same time to see Ivandor walking in, with Nova right behind him.

"What took you kids so long?" Xander hollered to them immediately, while I bought time frim his distraction to wipe the tears off my face.

"Traffic." Ivandor answered, as Nova shut the door. Both boys didn't waste time noticing my face. I watched as both faces dropped hysterically.

"Aww Kris!" Nova said, and they both came to me on the air bed, literally surrounding me. Xander sat opposite me, Ivandor by my side, and Nova sort of scooting in behind, literally pulling me into him in a soft, warming hug.

I smiled a little, overwhelmed with love, from these boys around me.

"You've been crying." Ivandor noticed, grazing his thumb against my skin, as a wary expression clouded his face.

Ivandor particular had been worried sick about me lately. I felt it was unfair having to put the entire stress of this on his head. Especially, since he's battling his own issues. I wasn't the only one hurt. He was hurt too. Still, he was prioritizing me.

Xander suddenly slapped the back of Ivandor's head to get his attention, ruining the moment in the process.

"Ow." Ivandor muttered, looking a tad bit irritated.

"Oh, shut up! How is Nova going to get back home this night. I hope you're not intending on driving out this late." Xander asked Ivandor.

Ivandor chuckled. "It's not like I have a choice, now, do I?"

"Oh hell no am I letting you kids drive yourselves by midnight!" Xander frowned.

"C'mon, It's barely seven pm." Nova laughed behind me.

"And we're not kids." Ivandor quipped right after.

"Oh shut up!" Xander slapped the back of his head again. "What are you? Like 12 or 13?"

"Xander!" I exclaimed as the other boys and I burst into laughter.

Xander slapped the back of Ivandor's head again and at this point, it's clear he's just messing with the guy for leisure. Not nice, Xander.

"I see your brother is hell bent on giving me a migraine." Ivandor said to me.

"I'm driving Nova back home in five minutes. Thats final." Xander announced, clearly adamant in his decision.

"Yes, sir!" Nova quipped, saluting while at it.

I laughed. We all did.

And that's when I realised..Being in the midst of the boys gave me so much joy. Immense joy. Truly, I had more than enough people to make me happy.

"Bruhhhh!" Nova's voice got all our attention at once. Our eyea trodded the direction that his' were focused on.

"What happened to the bed?" Nova exclaimed.

Xander and I laughed immediately, understanding.

"Xander broke the bed." I told Nova.

"Wait, what?" Nova exclaimed.

Ivandor blurted out a quick laugh and covered his face immediately.

"Let's all just ignore how disgustingly wrong that sounds." He said.

"Eww!" I threw one of my pillows at him.

Immediately, we heard the door bell.

We looked amongst ourselves confused.

"You guys heard it too, right?" Xander asked.

It was wierd to have people ringing our doorbell at night. It was rare having people ringing our doorbell at all, because we rarely had visitors. Not when it was just me and Xander.

All our friends that came over entered the house through the back door. Why ring the doorbell, when the back is open for entrance?

Who the hell was at our door step?

"It's someone we know." Ivandor pointed out silently.

We all turned to him.

"They're dozens of dogs outside. If it were a stranger at the door step, they would have been barking by now. So, that means, it's someone we know. Someone even the dogs know very well." He explained.

"I'll get it!" Xander stood up immediately, but Nova stopped him at once.

"No, let me go!" Nova said, his voice rushed with urgency.

I immediately understood. I knew who was at the door. With Ivandor's sudden change of mood, and Nova's anxiety.

Xander honestly was utterly confused.

"Whatever, bro. Be quick. If you stay out too long, I'm coming out." He said, plopping himself on my air bed.

Nova nodded and left the room silently.

I sat quietly. Anger bristled within me all over again, and only one thing repeated in my mind.

How dare he?

How dare Yure Adediji come to my house?

But how dare Yure Sha?😩
God now wants to punish him that Xander wanted to open the door?😩Who can predict how that would have gone?????

What do you guys think of Xander? Me, I LOVE him so much!! I mean, I've never laughed so much writing about a character like I did with him. What are your thoughts??

On side note, who else noticed how alike Giwa and Kris are. Giwa's past made her obsessed with fear and Krisdana's past made her obsessed with..Yure. Well, what can we say. Both girls lost grasp of both these things they held on to so much😢💔

Because I love you guys, the next chapter is already up!!!❤️❤️❤️