This chapter is dedicated to  Iremiide
Y'all should check her book out!!!!   She just completed!!!        

Sooo sorry for not updating yesterday. I went out so..*sniff snifff

Alright, let's move....☺️❤️

                                        ~GIWA~

Ivandor and I ended up sitting by the tiled bank of the pool outside the party. Hugging my knees to my chest, I cuddled myself up into Ivandor's arms and rested my head on his chest as I stared into the blue pool paces infront of us.

A comfortable silence filled the air as we stayed that way, looking at the pool and saying nothing. The lights were almost dim here. Most of it were focused on the pool itself. I liked the dimness.

I could feel his heartbeat.

Being this close to him filled me up with so much happiness. It was something I just couldn't explain. It honestly felt like it was me and him against the world.

"Can I ask you something?" I looked up to him as I asked, still in his embrace. I silently hoped I wasn't crossing my boundaries by nosing into something that was not my business.

"I'm listening," he said, looking down at me and kissing my forehead softly.

I smiled , then focused my gaze back at the pool as I finally asked him, "Is Krisdana okay?"

There was no answer.

I felt his hands almost loosen its grip on me for a moment.

I was forced to let go of him as I looked up at him with a wary expression on my face.

I first noticed his jaw bone clench. Then a dark look clouded his face. I almost immediately regretted asking the question.

"I shouldn't have asked. Sorry." I blurted out.

"No, no, no. There's no problem with what you asked." His voice cut in immediately. He sighed silently - a sigh that made me think he was about opening up about something, but he never said anything. He just sighed. That was all.

"So? What's wrong with her?" I had to ask again.

He paused his lips for the count of a second. Staring into the pool, he replied with a firm, almost grudge filled voice, "I don't know."

Umm, excuse me?

Talk about attitude!

Were we now fighting or what? All I did was ask a question.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I snapped.
I didn't want to snap at him, but it just slipped. It honestly hurt that he would want to keep things from me. Especially being rude while at it. Yes, I was angry.

Immediately, his eyes moved away from the pool and landed on me. His look was firm and searching, like he was trying to read me through my eyes. And with the way his hazel eyes pierced into mine directly, I felt my brave, sassy demeanor slowly dying down.

That angered me even more.

I looked away from him immediately and turned my body the opposite direction, backing him, scowling and folding my arms as I looked into nothing particularly.

I was hurt, and what I wanted right now was to focus on that hurt. Not to sit here and let him tame me that easily.

"Giwa," I heard his voice behind me.

I didn't turn to look at him, but I immediately said,"Look, if you don't want to tell me. It's fine."

It was clear with my tone that I was pissed. I'm sure he got that hint clearly.

What even pissed me of more? The fact that Ivandor didn't want to tell me anything, or the fact that he could tame me that easily, without even saying a single word.

"Giwa, listen." He said, and I felt his touch on my skin. I felt my whole body trembling for a second, before I sprung up from my feet sharply to get away from his touch. While on my feet, my back was still on him and my hands hugged my body to myself in a way that would not have given him the chance to touch me again.

I must be angry. Nothing was stopping this anger as far as I'm concerned.

"Giwa." I heard his voice again. This time, a warm feeling enveloped me as I felt his presence behind me, standing tall.

Christ! Even his shadow now had an effect on me?

"Why won't you tell me?" I said. My back was still turned on him.

"Because I actually don't know. I'm serious. I don't know what's wrong with Krisdana." He said to me, or rather, behind me.

Wait, what?
He doesn't know, for real?

"That's not true!" I said.

"I'm serious, Giwa." He replied.

Hmph.

I didn't say anything.

"Giwa."

How could he say he didn't know?

"Giwa."

Krisdana is his cousin, right? He should know.

"Giwa."

Did he just not want to tell me?

"Giwa."

There I was, still trying to decide if I should believe him or not. Without warning, his hands got on me and turned me around to face him. This action was very fast. I was shocked at the speed he used to turn me around.

"Don't ever turn your back on me again,Giwa." He said with a form of authority in his voice. His eyes moved with mine and his hold stayed firm.

I wanted to snap right back at him, but I couldn't. I got lost in his eyes for a few seconds, and against my conscious will, my head nodded slowly.

What was happening to me, for God's sake!

"If I knew, I would have told you." Ivandor said to me. He sounded genuine.

"How is it possible you don't know? I thought she was your cousin." I found myself asking still.

"There's nobody in the world the world that knows Krisdana more than I do." He started.

"I know she's not okay, no matter how much she lies that she is, I know she is not. I don't know exactly what the problem is with her, but I am certain Yure has something to do with it." His eyes went dark again and he paused for a moment.

"Yure definetely has something to do with it. I've never been so sure of anything else in my life." The certainty in his voice couldn't be ignored. But let's get real, who wouldn't suspect Yure to be the cause of her state?

I mean, with the way Yure had been acting. Like he knew he did something he shouldn't have done.

It had all started that day in Krisdana's house, after he left the room and she followed him. That was a few seconds after Prissy left.

Wait!

A few seconds after ..Prissy left?

For some disturbing reason, my mind dated back to that day I witnessed that lingering  eye contact between Yure and Prissy in class.

Oh my God!
Could this all be_

No, Prissy would never! She wouldn't!

I don't believe she would. She was anything but a man thief.

But then, if that wasn't the case, what else could it be that was so serious that Krisdana couldn't tell Ivandor - for a whole month?

"There's this thing with Krisdana..,"

I was cut off from my thoughts, as Ivandor's voice came again.

"Something happened to her in the past that got her down with PSTD," He told me.

Woah. PSTD? Krisdana??
What on earth happened?

"She's a lot better now, but she doesn't really handle shock very well." Ivandor explained. His eyes moved from me and stayed on the ground, like he was studying it now.

"Everytime she gets hit with something she can't handle, she automatically shuts down." He told me.

"Completely." He added.

Are we still talking about Krisdana Moe? The overly jumpy cousin of Ivandor?

"When she gets in that state, I don't push her. Nobody does. When she is ready to speak, she speaks." He elaborated.

What the hell? Had it really gotten to that??

What on earth could it be that was putting her in such a traumatized state?

It was crazy though. This same Krisdana who came across as loud, strong and fearless could be mellowed down this level. Wow.

"Only God knows what that bastard did to her." Ivandor cussed bitterly.

"Why don't you confront Yure?" I suggested.

"I have." He answered.

"And?" I asked.

"The bastard doesn't say shit!" Ivandor snapped. His voice sounded like there was venom in it.

"Until Krisdana can open up to me, I think it's best I stay away from Yure. Only God knows how much longer I can keep controlling myself because I want to fucking kill the guy!" He vented, and God! He was angry!

He was very angry. He was furious! With the way he shot daggers at something on the ground I couldn't see, I knew it

"I just hope it's not what I think it is." He muttered, but I heard him.

Was he suspecting Prissy? 

I really hoped not.

However, Prissy was involved, I can assure him it was all a coincidence.

Ivandor let out a sigh and returned his look on me thereon.

"I'm sorry, this was supposed to be a moment, not you watching me vent like a maniac." He said.

I shook my head immediately. "No, no, no. Don't say that. I was the one that asked."

He looked away for a second, and ran his hands through his hair, while letting out a sigh.

"I just want both you and Krisdana to be okay, that's all that matters," I said to him, looking at his face to get back that eye contact I lost with him when he started to look around aimlessly like a hopeless person.

I got my hands on Ivandor to set him still. Slowly, but eventually,he started to calm down again. His breathing eased and his face softened as he turned his gaze to me.

"Why do you care so much?" He asked me, his eyes never leaving mine this time around.

"Do I really have a choice? You're literally everything to me." I said softly.

"You mean even more to me, Giwa. You can't imagine." He said, and once again, that certainty in his voice hit hard.

"But.. why do you also care about Krisdana?" He asked further.

That question threw me off balance.

I backed up, ever so slightly. Knowing him, he would have noticed.

My eyes darted to the ground as I asked myself; Why did I even care?? About Krisdana. About Shade. And even about Yure?

I couldn't answer the question. Not the one Ivandor asked me or the one I just asked myself.

Ivandor got his hands on me and I was propelled to look up at him sharply. Once again, the magic in his hazel eyes worked it's wonders on me. I was dazed as I stared hopelessly into them.

"You're just like Krisdana." He said.

The bitter pill I was forced to swallow.

I somehow always knew that. One of the reasons I hated her from the start.

"That's not true." I heard myself retorting back to Ivandor, shocking myself with the boldness I had within me in the process. My eyes were dead on his' and I was surprised that I could withstand him without faltering.

"Yes, you are." He said to me. His voice was almost a whisper. Soft, yet alluring. Like he was trying to speak incantations and get back that dominance he once had over me.

"No, I'm not." I retorted, my voice wavering slightly like it was working. His incantations - they were working.

"You both come off as strong, fierce, fearless..," he said, his face inched a bit closer. For one bizarre moment, I thought he was going to kiss me.

I said nothing. I couldn't say anything. Not with those flames he had as eyes boring into me.

"You both walk with fire, burning and destroying everything and everyone who dares to oppose you." His voice was low, but as firm as it could be.

And he just wasn't done yet - pointing out my similarities with that cousin of his' that I found it hard seeing eye to eye with.

"You're domineering.."

"Intimidating.."

"Ruthless, if need be..,"

He read me like a book.

As his eyes stayed on me, searching deeper like he was trying to bore into my soul, I feared the worst.

I feared he was going to  see more to me than he should. I didn't want him to.

But I couldn't stop him. I couldn't look away from those eyes.

I was totally helpless.

Then, that's when he said it. The one thing I feared he would soon realise.

"All of that is just a cover, Giwa. I can see right through you."

And he said it so plainly.

There and then, I felt the shell I had been trying to shield myself with, shattering, leaving me completely vulnerable and at the mercy of this boy.

"Beneath all that..is a soft heart." He stated the fact.

I wanted to say something in defense. All that came out of my mouth was a pathetic whimper.

"You care.. You care about everyone around you and everything. No matter how much you try to act tough and pretend like you don't care, you still do."

I looked away from him at that point and my eyes went to the ground. I just couldn't keep looking at him. I felt so vulnerable.

"Giwa." His hands got on me, like he was trying to get me to look back at him. His touch ignited a fire in me. My whole body shook for a second as a powerful, uncontrollable feeling engulfed my entire system.

Oh, shit. What was he doing?

He only touched me, for God's sake.

"You're scared..," he continued, leaning in on me like he wanted to kiss me, but just pausing around my neck. I could feel his breath on my neck. Chills ran through my spine.

"You're scared of letting people see your weaknesses. You're scared of letting people see how fragile you can be."

Something about the way he said it set me on the edge. He spoke the truth. The hard Truth. I couldn't counter.

I wished he could stop. At the same time, I wished he didn't. As much as I tried to stop myself from being this helpless in front of him, I loved the feel. The feel of his magic touch, his breathing on my neck, this closeness, his voice..

My whole body felt numb. My breathing seemed unstable and my heart felt like it would soon beat right out of my chest. He could do anything he wanted to me right now and I couldn't stop him.

He started to rub his palms against my arms like he was feeling something on it.

"Are you cold?" He whispered into my ears, backing up immediately and looking at my arms warily.

"What. No," my hushed reply came. I didn't want his stopping what he was doing and ruining this moment.

When I looked to my arms, I saw Goosebumps forming on them.

"Are you sure?" He asked, still looking at my arms and trying to rub on them, like he was trying to ease the cold.

"Oh, God! Ivandor. Don't be so clueless. This is what you do to me!" I blurted out.

Goosebumps...That's what he did to me.
He gave me goosebumps

His eyes found mine, and I knew he understood now. His eyes lingered on me however. I wondered what was on his mind.

"I want to kiss you right now." He said to me.

"Since when did you have to ask for permission to do that?" I retorted.

He crashed his lips on mine immediately without wasting any time.

He kissed me with urgency, with an insatiable hunger.Like he had been craving to do this.

I kissed him back. With the same energy. Holding a chunk of the back of his hair  for support.

It felt like I was in another world entirely. Another universe.

I felt complete ecstacy.

I didn't want this to end.

Didn't want to stop feeling his strong hands on the small of my waist as he kissed me..

Didn't want to stop feeling his tongue in my mouth, moving skillfully..

Didn't want that mind-blowing, electrifying sensation I felt whenever he bit my lips slightly to stop..

Didn't want to stop this feeling..

But it didn't last.

We were immediately distracted by Ivandor's ringtone.

Oh, God. No!!

Who HAD to call in the middle of this!

"It's my mum," Ivandor said, as he stared into the screen of his phone. There was a look on his face I couldn't make out.

"Is there a problem?" I had to ask.

"I don't know." He muttered, "She urgently wants me to come back home."

Urgently?

I didn't have much time to ask further questions, so I just let him go.

Shortly after Ivandor left, I made my way back home. Memories of the night lingered on my mind the whole entire time.

I wish I had more time with him, but I couldn't be selfish. His family needed him now.

Christmas with my family was bliss.

There was honestly nothing more fun than having your whole family with you on Christmas.

Dad, who was rarely even around was home for Christmas.

On eve of Christmas, the whole family sat together -  Dad, Mum, Lola, me and Nini. We all sat on the couches in the living room, by the Christmas tree, laughing and singing along to the Christmas album we had had for years now in this house.

"It's two minutes to Christmas!" Nini squealed.

I looked to the giant clock hanging by the wall. It was already 11:58 pm.

I smiled to myself as I watched my little sister jumping to get the Christmas star for the tree.

"Nini, you'll put up the star on the Christmas tree for us this year." Mum said, smiling at the little excited girl.

"Nini always puts up the star every year, Mum!" Lola laughed.

"Exactly!" I laughed too. Every single year Nini always put the star on the Christmas tree. That was her job basically.

"Okay okay okay," Dad spoke up.

When all attention was turned to him, he said,"Let's all sing the first verse of Silent Night  until it's 12am."

So then, we sang together.

🎶Silent Night, Holy Night..

🎶All is calm, All is bright..

🎶Round yon virgin Mother and child..

🎶Holy infant so tender and mild..

🎶Sleep in heavenly peace..

🎶Sleep in heavenly peace..

Nini rushed to put the star at the top of the Christmas tree once it was 12am and we all applauded joyfully.

As I looked around at my family members;

Dad and Mum sitting together in each other's arms..

Hyper active Nini jumping around by the Christmas tree and bowing continuously as we applauded..

And Lola laughing her ass of and telling Nini to go and sit down one place..

I smiled to myself.

I honestly couldn't be happier. There's nothing more I wanted.

Although, a part of me still worried a little. About Shade. About Krisdana. About Ivandor.

And Ivandor..

I hoped all was well with his family. I couldn't stop thinking about them. How awfully quiet and distressed they seemed the first time I met them. And how disturbed Ivandor looked that night when his mother called..

I wondered how Christmas was in his family.

I wondered if they were as happy as we were right now.

I wondered if they even cared about Christmas like we did.

Damn, you guys!! My body was doing me tinini wanana as I was writing this chapter😩😩😩✌️

Who loved it? I LOVED writing it!!!

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