Book: Damnatio Memoriae
Author: Ruth Burns
Username: saveadanceforme

• First Impression.

The title is undoubtedly catchy and pairs well with the cover, creating an intriguing, mysterious vibe that is sure to draw readers in. However, the blurb could use some improvement. There are noticeable tense issues, and the sentences could be reframed for better coherence. As it stands, the tone conveyed by the blurb feels somewhat lackluster, which may not do justice to the story. A polished, well-crafted blurb would significantly enhance its appeal.

• Characters & Emotions.

The best thing about this book is how relatable the characters are—they never come across as pretentious or artificial. Their depth keeps them engaging, and they never feel repetitive. The tension between Versailles and Chris is palpable, and I absolutely love Versailles' sass. Her emotions and the confusion she experiences feel incredibly authentic, making her journey all the more compelling. Overall, it was an amazing read!

• Plot.

I loved the plot! The opening line and the concept of the New Gods emerging in the world were both intriguing and refreshingly original. Hats off to you for crafting such a unique and captivating idea. I was thoroughly impressed!

• Vocabulary & Grammar.

The main issue I noticed in the story was the incorrect use of punctuation marks, particularly commas (,). Commas are essential for indicating pauses in a sentence and are commonly used after verbs in dialogue tags. While your vocabulary is decent and simple, I would recommend incorporating more precise and varied word choices occasionally to enhance the narrative.

Original:
I could read her lips from here ‘I don't know how’ is what she kept trying to explain but no one seemed to be listening they kept chanting for her to pop the bottle and I found myself joining them.

Suggestion:
I could read her lips from where I stood: "I don't know how," she kept trying to explain. But no one seemed to be listening. They just kept chanting for her to pop the bottle, and before I knew it, I was joining them.

Original:
“Oh I don't drink,” I laughed trying to hand it back to them but when I looked up I frowned, “Hey do I know you?”

Suggestion:
“Oh, I don’t drink,” I said with a laugh, trying to hand it back to the person. But when I looked up, my expression shifted into a frown. “Hey, do I know you?”

• Writing Style & Creativity.

You have a remarkable ability to capture the reader’s attention, which is evident in the introduction of the 1st chapter where the Gods are introduced. However, I felt that this section might be better suited as a prologue, especially since the current prologue only contains character aesthetics rather than a narrative.

The plotline is highly engaging and kept me wanting to read more. That said, there’s still room for improvement. Some adjustments to sentence structure and a bit of careful editing could elevate the story further and make it even more impactful.

• Execution.

The book currently feels like it’s in the drafting stage and requires significant work to reach its full potential.

• My Opinion.

The book has a solid foundation and great potential to make a significant impact. With a bit more refinement—perhaps in areas such as pacing, character development, or narrative depth—it could truly stand out and achieve remarkable success.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Number of Stars:

I'd rate this book 3 out of 5 stars.

End Note:

As I mentioned, I’m hooked on your plotline. I’ve never read anything like this before, and it was truly a unique experience for me. That's why I'm making an exception by adding your book to my recommended reading list. Congratulations!