I am furious at Spencer Wright.

For two weeks, we've been seeing each other, almost every day. Even the days either of us doesn't have classes, we come to the university and we stay till late at night working on proving the Reimann hypothesis. I make sure to slide in my ideas as unsuspiciously as possible. Academic wise, everything is going great. Each day I'm a step closer to my goal.

But, that doesn't change the fact that most of the time I'm mere seconds away from stalking into his room, and smacking him until his brain can't align a single math equation... or kiss him senseless. Sometimes, it's both, quite hard to tell them apart.

We have been strictly professional, precisely moving according to the accepted idea of a student-professor relationship.

He's composed, not blank or cold, but just... not like the Spencer I've grown used to and begun to like. He lacks intensity. His words, his eyes, the way his hands wave around and the form he speaks, are nothing like they were before.

So, I did what I know best. I began flirting with Brian restlessly, more fervently in front of him. I went on dates with Brian, only to be able to talk about them with Anushka while Spencer was around. Childish, I know, but what else can I do?

I even held hands with Brian. Spencer saw and just overlooked it. Overlooked me. Of course, it hurt.

Sourly, I'm reminded of my brother's cautions, 'he lacks basic human emotions'. I wonder if he was wrong, instead of lacking them, maybe he's like the vampires in the Vampire Diaries series, flipping the switch and going numb entirely.

But then there are times where I catch him gazing at me longingly, or abrupt changes in his posture and features when I smile at Brian that has me wondering, what is truly going on inside his head.

There are times he watches me as though all he wants to do is close the gap between us and kiss me until we both lose our grasp on reality, to wipe away the pain that flashes across his eyes whenever Brian is too close to me. And then there are times where he acts like he couldn't care less.

But when I do get the rare chances of spotting the pain in him, I feel like shit. Because I know I'm the one causing it, and worse than that, I can't do anything to take it away, no matter how badly I want to.

As if these thoughts are not enough, I can't understand where my stupid urge of not wanting him to hurt is coming from.

I miss him terribly, and each time seeing him hurt is like a fist closing in on my heart and squeezing it tightly.

On top of that, none of it makes sense.

I was only supposed to seduce him to get him to work with me on Reimann. I pulled that off, I can't understand why all these other emotions are swirling around my head. None of this was supposed to appear.

It's not possible that I've grown attached to him... or possibly infatuated by him, right?

No. Impossible.

Everything between Spencer and I was meaningless, stringless actions all based on physical attraction. If it was more, he wouldn't have been able to move on from me this easily, right?

I snap out of my dangerous thoughts, tightening my fingers around Brian's meaty palm. He flashes a grin at me as we climb up the stairs leading to the floor Spencer's office is located on. Even though I didn't want Brian to find out what's going on, he figured Spencer and I working on something, so I let him believe it's something small, just a piece to strengthen my resume.

To say he was surprised is an understatement, claiming there are a lot of other professors better than he can ever be, but I brushed him off. That's not something for him to decide, it's my choice.

In the middle of the hall, we come to a halt and stand in front of each other, our hands still intertwined.

I smile at Brian as he closes the small space between us, placing his hand on my cheek and presses his lips to mine in a soft kiss.

I comply, moving my lips with his in sync but it's nowhere near the kisses I've shared with Spencer. Sparks don't fly, the butterflies are none existent in my stomach, neither does my heart race. I'm acutely aware of my surroundings no matter how hard I try to get invested in the kiss.

But Brian doesn't seem to mind. We pull away and he flashes me a bright smile.

Just as I'm forcing the muscles of my face to pull and strain into a smile, my eyes land on Spencer standing on the other side of the hall, exactly at the edge of the right side's corridor, with a mug in his hand, steams rising from it.

Our eyes lock, an unreadable emotion flickers in his eyes but disappear too soon and his features harden. He breaks away from my gaze and marches past us, not sparing another glance at us.

I grimace, heat creeping to my cheeks as my stomach falls and my chest tightens unbearably. I didn't want him to see that.

"I-I have to go," I mumble, glancing at Brian before turning and looking at the long hallway he went down, and watch his back.

"Yeah, sure. I'll call you later tonight."

I turn back to Brian and force a smile. "Sounds great." With that, I quickly spin on my heels and speed walk the corridor.

By the time I reach Spencer's office, he's inside, already standing in front of the whiteboard and fervently writing away on it.

I inhale sharply and nibble on my bottom lip as place my bag and coat on the usual chair.

"Hi." I push my hands into my jeans' back pockets as I watch him warily.

"I've put the papers on the desk, work on them and see if you can reach any conclusions. Ask if you got stuck on a problem," he flatly states, not once turning to look at me.

I release a rush of air through my mouth and walk to his desk, finding the papers. I rub my brow and glance at him. He has stopped writing, leaning slightly backwards as he holds up the marker near his face, his elbow propped up on his other hand resting over his chest.

So today he's going to ignore me entirely. I sigh and sit on the other chair, across from the one I've placed my belongings on.

He shouldn't have seen the kiss. So far everything has been fun, for teasing and provoking him. But this is different and I'm afraid he's going to believe I've truly moved on... and he'd let me go.

I try to swallow the growing lump in my throat. I don't want to lose him.

Though there's nothing I can do now. I have to let him cool down. With that decided, I find a pencil on his desk and begin my attempts at understanding and solving the impossible-looking equation written on the paper.

Hours go by slowly and by the time the sun has sunk well beneath the horizon, Spencer and I have barely shared any words. Other him checking on my progress and dropping his ideas that might help to get to the result we want easier.

I stretch my arms over my head and get to my feet, shaking my stiff legs from long hours of sitting.

Finally fed up with his cold demeanour, I plant my hands on my hips and glare at his back. "Why are you ignoring me?" I demand.

His hand halts on the whiteboard. Slowly he turns his head, one eyebrow arched and lips pressed into a thin line. "I'm not ignoring you."

I scoff, "Oh really? Do expect me to believe that?" I don't bother to keep my voice down. It's already well past eight and there's no one on campus, let alone this building.

He fully faces me, putting the marker's cap on and crosses his arms. "Yes."

"Why are you ignoring me?" I repeat my question.

With an incredulous laugh, he shakes his head. "What is wrong with you? What do you want me to do?" he glowers at me.

I roll my eyes and huff. "For you to be like before," I mumble, avoiding his gaze.

"Please don't put up this act again. Stop pretending like you want me to have a bigger space in your life than you're actually going to give me."

"Pretend?" I echo with disbelief and stride to him.

He throws the marker on one of the nearby shelves. "Yes."

"Why do you-" I start but he abruptly cuts me off.

"I saw you kiss him. You're going on with your life just about as fine as anyone possibly can. You're going on your dates with him, enjoying and doing everything you want. Let me be. Nothing's going to happen between us."

He begins to march past me and I take a step aside, turning until my back faces the library and cross my arms as I glare at the closed door across from me.

"So you got jealous?"

He stops and spins to me. I hold his glare as he walks back to me stands in front of me. His nostrils flare as he points his index finger at me. "Did you kiss him in front of me on purpose?"

"No."

He squints at me. "I don't believe you."

I huff and throw my hands up. "How the hell was I supposed to know you'd be there? I thought you were in your office."

He clenches his jaw as he mulls over my answer. After a long moment, he says, "Stop making this harder for me."

"You are making this hard for yourself," I fire back, glaring at him as I take another step to him. Craning my neck, I hold his gaze. "You don't even have the dare to tell yourself the truth, and neither can you stand to see me with someone else."

"I don't have the dare?" he repeats me with disbelief. "Well sorry I'm more practical than you can comprehend," he spits.

I ball my fists, my heart hammers in my chest and pounds in my ears. My vision zooms in on Spencer. "I can't comprehend? At least I don't have my head stuck up my ass, scared shitless of doing something I truly want."

We glower at each other, daring to break the eye contact, to back down. But neither of us does.

"Remember that night at the club, you told me you know the guys I hang out with? That they all share a trait which you don't," I start. At first, my words waver with anger but by the end of my little reminder, the words flow steadier.

He doesn't nod, but I can spot the recognition in his eyes. He does remember.

So, I go on, "They all dare to do what they want, no matter the risk. They're brave and bold, they're not cowards." I step closer to him, our chests barely touching. The second he hears the word 'coward' his features hardens even more, his scowl deepening.

"You were right, they are the only type of people I'm with. You are a coward. And I don't do wusses."

I move to walk past him and I manage to get a step away, but before I can take my second step, his long fingers wrap around my upper arm, forcefully pulling me back in front of him.

The rest happens too fast.

Spencer crashes his lips on mine with a fervor I'd never experienced in my life. His free hand finds my face and cups my cheek. We stumble a few steps backwards and I clutch his shirt until my back hits the shelves of the library.

He moves his hand from my cheek to the back of my head, placing exactly on the spot that the wooden shelf is pressing in. His arm snakes around my waist, pressing my body tightly to his warm one.

My legs turn to jelly just by the intensity of his lips moulding mine. He parts my mouth with his and slides in his tongue. I moan and tangle my fingers in his hair, heat pooling in my core, curling my toes, making me lightheaded. The butterflies in my stomach go mad. His hand roams my body, electrifying my sense.

I pull him to me even though we're pressed against each other. I let my hands glide along his shoulders and back, greedily feeling him up and down.

Lips moving with a hunger nowhere near satiating, we nibble, pull and bite each other's lips as our tongues glide. My moans and whimpers mingle with his groans.

Our kiss is ravenous, finally, both of us let loose, giving in to our desires, riding ourselves from the painful tension that has been building up for the past two weeks.

We only break the kiss for catching a breath of air before locking our lips together, both of us still craving more.

He fondles my curves, making me moan in his mouth as I keep my fingers in his hair, tugging him closer to me. He doesn't move the hand he has placed on my head to keep the wood from hurting me, but it's enough for him to tilt my head back and deepen the kiss.

Breathless and in desperate need of air, he's the one to do the impossible task of breaking the kiss. We pant heavily, our chests heaving together. His warm breath washes over my face. I don't let go of him, not ready to lose his musky scent being so near me and his warm body pressed against mine.

"You want to hear the truth?" he gruffly asks.

Through the daze settled in my head, I manage a small nod.

His swollen lips press a hot kiss to my jaw and my breath hitches. "I want you, Gracie Stewart. Even though it's wrong, I want you so bad it hurts." He kisses beneath my ear. "I hate it when any other guys get close to you, let alone touch you. I can't stand to see you with anyone else."

He grazes my ear. I moan, holding him tighter, my fingernails dig into his shoulder. "I want to be the only man you kiss, the only man who gets to touch you in all the places that I shouldn't be even thinking about."

Spencer finds my lips and kisses me softly, his arm around my waist tightening even more. Breaking away, he rests his forehead on mine. "I've tried to not think about you, to move past whatever we have... but I can't Gracie, I can't. Not getting to touch you and feel you while you're so close to me, it's pure torture."

"Spencer," I murmur and splay my fingers over his cheek, brushing my thumb over his high cheekbone, under the frame of his glasses, and letting my eyes flutter shut.

"I know it's wrong. So horribly wrong, but I'm stuck in a losing fight. I know I can't have you, I shouldn't even be thinking about it, but I do. I want you, Gracie."

I'm glad he's holding me, otherwise, my knees definitely would have buckled. My heart summersaults. Fireworks go off in me, setting me in a sweet fire of his passionate words. Relief floods me too, he's finally giving in!

So many senses erupting in me overwhelms me, but I'm still in his arms at this moment and it seems to be the most important factor.

I grin. "I'm graduating in three months... we can do this."

He pulls away enough to lock his eyes with mine.

"We can keep it a secret for three months, then I'll go to another university and no one can say anything, because technically I won't be your student anymore. If we play this right, there won't even be any rumours."

His expression turns solemn.

"Please let us try, we both want this, Spencer." I hold his gaze, pleadingly.

At this point, I don't know what I'd do if he refuses. I just have to hope for the best.

"I thought you were planning on being with me as long as you were this college's student," he slowly says, his voice deep and low as he tilts his head slightly and narrows his eyes.

Heat rushes to my cheeks. Shit. "Uh... I mean... um..." I fumble with words, not knowing how to clean up my little slip-up.

I try to shrug and dodge his assumptions. "It's too soon to think about the ending, we still have three months ahead of ourselves... we should focus on that... if you'd want us to be more..." my voice trails down, hope trickles into my voice and face.

A corner of his mouth twitches upwards. "I suppose we can be discreet."

I grin. "Does it mean-"

"Yes." He mirrors my grin. "Only three months of breaking the rules... how bad can it go?"

I giggle, going on my tiptoes. "Don't jinx it," I murmur against his mouth and without waiting for his reaction, I press my lips to him, feeling him smile for a moment before gently kissing me back.

To say I'm over the moon is an understatement.

∞ ∞ ∞

Well =) And here's our double update =)

Okay, so I know I promised to double update more often, but honestly, it's just turning impossible. Instead, I'm working on making the chapters longer (at least 20 minutes each) which I think it's a good compromise. Right, guys? And I really don't want the number of total chapters to go beyond 92 (the number of chaps is already TOO high)... so yeah.

Also, I want to thank you guys for always answering my questions <3

Next chapter will be up tomorrow, do note, tomorrow's update is going to be super steamy (they're going to go all the way and if you're not into smut, so... maybe don't read the next chapter, okay?)

And that's about it :) Thank you so much for reading (we just crossed 8k reads! *Throws confetti* I am daring to hope for this story to hit 10k by the finale (fingers crossed, let's see if it can happen, lol)).

You guys are literally the only reason I've continued writing this story because turns out my brain cannot focus on long-term projects and now I'm all excited about the fantasy plotline I came up with and the mafia romance that's been brewing in my head (ugh and I have so many WIPs too). If it wasn't for you guys, I would have ditched this story and jumped to a new one lol (probably one of those 2 I mentioned).

Don't forget to vote if you enjoyed it and comment your thoughts ^^

Stay safe, lots of love, happy reading <3