53
My head pounds and it's as if my eyelids have been glued together. I flex my fingers but the back of my right hand gives off an odd feeling. As though something is taped to it.
The mattress beneath me is not soft... not mine. The scent of antiseptics rubs in the back of my throat.
My heart hammers in my chest. Hospital. The accident. Everything comes crashing down.
The phone call.
My eyes fly open and I frantically take in my surrounding. The harsh white light, the ridiculous white walls.
"You're up," Wright's voice startles me.
I sit upright, thoughts racing in my head too fast for me to voice out anything. My mouth stays agape as he stands and walks over to me.
"You shouldn't move much," he adds. With a sharp inhale, he pushes his glasses up his nose. "Your family should be here any time now."
"The phone call?" my voice breaks as I ask. Please say it was just a bad dream. I hold my breath waiting for his answer. "It d-didn't happen, right? J-just a bad dream?" Tears well up in my eyes.
His gaze locks on me, the grimness makes me choke on my breath. I shake my head. His shoulders curl inwards. "I wish I could say it didn't happen," he softly says and drops his gaze to the floor.
I shake my head as hot tears trickle down my cheeks. "No," I cry, pressing the heel of my hand to my forehead, trying hard to hold back my tears. The IV stuck to my hand gets pulled back slightly, but I can't care less about it.
"This- Why? I..." words fail me again as the lump in my throat grows. Aimlessly my eyes search the room, looking for something and yet not knowing what. "No," whimper. "Why?" My voice breaks as I desperately struggle to stay put.
He pulls me into a hug and once I'm in the safety of his arms, surrounded by his calming cologne scent, I let the pain take over me and I weep, holding onto him tightly like my life depends on it.
I sob and snivel, my brain refusing to grasp the context. Dead. My father is dead.
Nothing makes sense. I talked to him less than twenty-four hours ago...the thought only makes me cry harder.
He's no more.
Slowly the phrase settles inside me. I won't get to see him ever again. I won't hear his voice. He won't ever be here for me. I've lost him. Forever.
"Why?" I choke out into Wright's shirt, as the tears keep streaming down my face. He runs soothing circles on my back as I lay my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and trying to calm myself down.
"I-I still need him... I-I just... I ca- I don't want to lose him." I sob.
"I know," he murmurs, holding me tighter.
As my sobbing subsides, I wipe the remaining tears on my cheeks with the back of my hand. The sense of being so close to him feels too good to just let go, so I stay in his embrace, letting my mind slowly go blank and numb.
I focus on the warmth of his hand, gliding up and down my back. For a brief moment, I close my eyes and inhale deeply, filling my senses with his musky scent. I still can't believe today is real. Truth is, I don't want it to be. I didn't even get to tell Dad I have eight percent of Nathan's shares under my name.
If the solution gets published, he won't be there to see it. I won't see how he'll react, how pride will gleam in his eyes.
I won't ever see him again.
Suddenly the world becomes too lonely. I lost my strongest support system, the person I've relied on for my entire life is now gone. He has left me to survive in this mad world all by myself.
A lone tear escapes from my eye.
"I should go and talk with your doctor, to see when they'll discharge you," Wright says.
I weakly nod as he lets go of me and I instantly miss his touch. "I'm sorry," I mumble.
"Don't." Hesitantly he moves his hand to my cheek, all the while his eyes are locked with mine, he wipes the tear. The way he looks at me is like he wants to say more, much more, but he's stopping himself. Eventually, he sighs and steps back. "I should go," he repeats, this time more to his own self as if he's convincing himself to leave.
A beat passes between us. I want to ask him to stay, but why would he? On what right can I even request such an absurd thing from him? And who in its right mind would want to be by a grieving girl's side.
Wright walks to the door.
Before he reaches it, I call out, "Thank you... professor."
He halts and turns to me, pushing his glasses up his nose, frowning slightly. "I really don't think you should be calling me that... out of university."
I nod. "You're right."
His hand wraps around the doorknob. "And Gracie, anyone would have done the same." Without waiting for an answer, he pulls open the door and strides out, leaving me alone in this hospital room, with my thoughts.
I drop my gaze to the white tiles on the ground, reflecting the fluorescent lights on the ceiling.
No, no one would have stayed, Spencer.
I stare at the window blankly. I still feel like at any moment Dad can burst into the room and hug me and say it was all a mistake, and he's okay and nothing has happened.
But he doesn't.
Tears burn my eyes, my bottom lip quivers. Why?
Just as everything was starting to look up and work out... why now?
Why didn't I yesterday ask him how he was? Why didn't I push him to talk to me? Why didn't I notice? Why did I brush it off when I clearly felt something was off?
Could I have stopped it?
Why did he leave us? Why weren't we enough for him? Why wasn't I enough of a reason for him to stay?
Why didn't he think about us before doing this?
I told him I'll always need him, why didn't he listen to me?
I drop my head, rocking back and forth; my shoulders shake as I silently mourn. I hug myself and clutch my chest. It aches too bad, too much.
Why Dad, why?
I inhale and exhale slowly, trying to gain control over my breathing.
By the time the tears dry, and my mind is as vacant as humanly possible, the door flies open, startling me.
Mom rushes inside, her hair is a mess, her eyes are red, and her face is puffy and before I can move a muscle, she engulfs me in a bone-crushing hug.
"Gracie," she breathes, her voice wavering. "You scared me, baby." She pulls away to scan my face.
"I'm fine." I look away.
She kisses my forehead and sits on the bed beside me, pulling me in for another hug. "I'm your mother, don't hide your pain from me, sweetie." She caresses my hair.
Slowly, I give in and wrap my arms around her slim waist, resting my head on the crook of her neck.
"When will it end?" In a shaky voice, she murmurs.
She's right, when will our troubles and suffering end?
Why is everything going so wrong?
"I wasn't ready to lose him," I softly admit.
"We never would have been." I feel a drop of tear fall on my head as she breathes shakily. "But we'll be okay," she promises. "We have to."
I let the fresh set of tears stream down silently as we hug each other tighter.
∞ ∞ ∞
Thanks for reading this chapter.
I hope you didn't hate it xD
The next chapter will be up tomorrow
Lots of love, happy reading <33
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top