The rest of the night goes by remarkably shitty. Spencer doesn't show up. Kristian keeps on touching and feeling me at any given chance, and after a painful eternity, I excuse myself to my suite.

Well past midnight, after I've changed to my nightie, rubbing moisturizer on my arms and legs, a soft knock halts me.

Confused, I grab my robe and slip into it, meanwhile two more knocks follow until I reach the door and unlock it.

With a barely suppressed gasp, I step back, taking in Spencer's disheveled appearance. His hair is tousled, his shirt with the first three buttons undone, one side of its hem is falling over his trousers, and the other side is tucked in. Too many fingerprints smudge his glasses and his eyes are bloodshot.

He raises his index finger. "We, need to talk," he announces, slurring each word.

"No, you're drunk." I'm about to shut the door when he leans to the doorframe, planting his palm on the door.

A lazy grin spills over his face and I glare at him despite my heart squeezing at the sight. "Come on, you wanted me to talk. Here I am!" He stumbles past me and almost falls headfirst to the floor but I catch him, steadying him as he drapes his arm around my shoulder.

"Not like this," I grumble, shutting the door and stepping away from him once he's stable enough.

"Why not!" he spins and faces me, stumbling backward.

I cross my arms in front of my chest as I scowl at him.

"I don't get drunk," he says and leans to the table placed in the middle of the small hall joining the two spaces where the bed is placed with the antique sofas. "It's just..." his voice trails down and he waves his hand like he's searching for a word before his eyes spark up. "Liquid courage!"

I roll my eyes and walk past him. Trying to grab me, he loses his balance and in the process of holding on to the table, he drops the gigantic vase placed atop it with white roses, sending it tumbling to the floor and shattering.

"Spencer!" I throw my arms up and glower at him, the shards of the antique vase scattered on the floor, reach to my feet.

He snorts. "Oops." A chuckle rumbles out of him.

I purse my mouth as I watch him.

"Too bad it's not enough to make William go bankrupt," he muses to himself.

Squinting at him, I tap my foot on the floor. "What do you want?"

His head snaps to me. "You."

"You're weird when you're drunk."

"I'm not!" Unsteadily, he comes closer to me, slipping twice with stepping on the glass shards. His hands find my shoulders. "You. It's you that I want."

I roll my eyes, the heavy scent of alcohol burning my nostrils.

"Gracie... uh..." His gaze drops from my face and sweeps across the place. He curses under his breath.

"I think you should leave," I mumble, removing his warm hands from me and stepping away from him.

"No! Wait!" He shoves his fingers through his hair and curses again. "I-I had it ready. I memorized it."

"Memorised what?" I ask, frowning and folding my arms.

"The things I wanted to say. Fuck!" He staggers. "Just give me a minute."

I tilt my head to the side. "Spencer-" I start but he shakes his head, holding up his hands.

He curses again, frustratedly running his hand through his hair. "Gracie, I fucked up, okay?" He looks at me, desperation clouding his eyes. "I-I screw things up, a-and you know how in quantum they say if you throw a ball at the wall, it can hit the wall and bounce back, or go right through it, both equally possible until you actually see it, right?"

I gape at him. What the fuck?

"L-like that cat in the box, it can be dead and alive for all you know, until you see inside the goddamn box. But I can't see inside your brain... a-and all I had was you being there, but you could have not been there too. I chose to believe you're not because I was scared shitless of getting attached to you then you leaving me, I-I d-didn't even think about the other possibility of you being there, with me... just me, and nothing beyond that," he rambles, taking off his glasses.

I stare at him with my eyebrows touching my hairline and jaw probably hitting the floor. If only I could know how the hell he's connecting all these things... ugh, it's too late at night for a science lesson.

"Don't you see?" He sways as he strides to me, his glasses falling from his hand, but he pays no mind to it.

"Brain, biology, and us." He locks his wide, frantic eyes with me before going on. "We are classical physics. We exist. And love, and caring, and everything I feel for you is in here," he pauses to point at his temple. "There's no fifty-fifty chance of existing or not. I can't assume it doesn't and I can't make it disappear. I-I thought I could, and I t-tried..." his voice trails down and his shoulders drop.

Suddenly, the excitement gives place to resignment.

Gazing at him, my heart pounds harder and faster. He staggers to me, with awkwardly moving hands, he lays his hands on either side of my neck. His fingers dip to my hairline as he tilts my head back, locking our eyes, his thumbs brushing my cheek.

"I don't know how to talk properly and say what I'm thinking and feeling. I make stupid mistakes... and..." he sighs and closes his eyes. "But the way you make me feel, is real and is there and is crushing me," he hoarsely says.

Slowly he leans down and rests his head on the crook of my neck. His hot breath hits my skin with each exhale, buzzing my senses.

"Losing you is killing me," he murmurs, his voice broken and sad, as his arms wrap around my waist. "It's there and it's real and I know, I don't want to live without you. I'm not brave like you to look you in the eyes and say how the things you make feel are the best fucking feelings. The things you've made me do, and still make me want to do, some crazy shit, but I love every fucking second of it. I-it's like, you bring meaning to everything... you brighten up everything, even make the worst things look good." His arms tense around me.

Hesitantly, I thread my fingers through his hair and keep one hand firmly on his shoulder, hardly maintaining a steady breathing pattern.

"I'm not strong like you, to live my life like nothing's happened when you... y-you m-marry him." His voice breaks and he hugs me closer to himself.

"Don't leave me. I want to move mountains for you, and I'll do it if you just give me the chance. I-I'll find a way to make you happy, and not stand in the way of your goals and help you reach them even if it's as hard as moving the mountains, I want to try, for you. For us. Just please don't leave me. I need you."

I bite my bottom lip as I run my fingertips through his soft hair, tears brimming my eyes. "Spencer, you're drunk," I mumble weakly, my voice scratchy and uneven. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. He would never say these things to me if alcohol wasn't coursing through his veins.

On top of that, drunk people say a lot of shit they don't mean.

But his arms tighten around me and a mixture of pain, longing, and hope burn my heart.

"I know what I'm saying."

"You don't." I sigh.

"You don't want me," he quietly says, sounding pained, breaking my already broken heart.

"How about you sleep it off and we talk about it tomorrow when you're... more like yourself," I offer.

He lifts his head and grabs my face between his hands, locking our eyes. "It's you. It's always been you for me. I was just too scared to admit it, but that doesn't mean-"

"You never would have said these things to me if you were completely sober," I accuse him. "You can barely walk straight."

His gaze drops from my face before he reluctantly nods. After a long moment he softly pleads, "Let me stay the night, just tonight." Slowly he meets my eyes through his long lashes.

It's a horrible idea. I can sense it in every fiber of my body. Though the way he's looking at me shuts off every resolve and rational thinking. "Just tonight."

He nods.

With that, I step away from him and shrug out of my robe, before grabbing his hand and leading him to the bed.

Silently we slip under the covers and he clings to me, wrapping an arm around my waist as he nestles his head in the crook of my neck. His fingers tightening around me, his hot breath falls on my skin, tingling it and raising goosebumps.

No longer the bed feels too huge and empty. Suddenly the night is not as awful as it was less than an hour ago.

My heart dully aches and thuds in my chest as I gently rake my fingers through his hair.

Fear makes me queasy.

Being in love with a man who you can't ever be sure he'll stand up for you or not, he'll stay by your side or not, regardless of how awful things become, is perhaps one of the worst things.

With shaky breaths, I glance down at his sleeping form, his brows are slightly pulled together, creating a small crease on his forehead.

I don't know how he'll react once he wakes up and I hate it and it scares me.

Yet, a part of me, for years has been waiting for this very moment. To hear all the things he said tonight.

But after everything we've been through, I think I deserve more than a drunken admission.

A single tear rolls down from the corner of my eye. I tighten my grip on the sleeve of his shirt, squeezing my eyes shut and inhaling deeply, letting his musky cologne scent along with the bitter scent of alcohol invade me until sleep cocoons us.

❦ ♥︎ ❦

Sharp knocks repeatedly ramming against the suite's door, jolts me awake. Groggy and still half asleep, I try to move, but a weight encircling my waist stops me.

Blinking I glance down and last night's events rush back to my memory.

"Spencer," I hiss, moving his arm from around me.

He groans in protest, pulling me closer to himself, flushing my back against his chest. The knocking continues, and I shake him harder until he cracks open a confused eye.

I jump to my feet and snatch my robe, while Spencer blinks and surveys the room, scratching his forehead as he slowly sits on the bed.

As I tie the robe's ribbon-like belt, Spencer's confused face slowly twists with realization, and his wide eyes land on me.

I purse my mouth. He probably regrets all the things he told me last night. How typical of him.

I shove aside the hurt stinging my heart as I rush to the door and open it. "Sorry it took so long," I say as I widen the door.

The second my gaze lands on Savannah's wide frantic eyes, unease washes over me.

"It's okay, can I come in?" She fidgets with her fingers and I gape at her.

Shit. I glance back over my shoulder, Spencer is still probably on the bed, because I can't see him.

"You... have company?" Savannah hesitantly asks and my head whips to her.

I open my mouth but no words come out. God, I need my morning coffee. I'm not ready for putting up with two Wrights first thing in the morning.

"It's alright, but believe me, you have to know this."

With my mouth hanging open, I step aside for her and she enters the room.

As I close the door, she asks, "Do you happen to know where Spencer is? I've been looking for him all morning, but he's nowhere." Walking farther in, she halts next to the table.

Gingerly I walk up to her as she surveys the broken vase before her eyes land on Spencer, who's still on the bed and staring at Savannah.

Gawking she turns to me before glaring back at Spencer.

"It's not what it looks like," Spencer and I say at the same time.

I press my lips to a thin line and look away, clasping my hands in front of myself.

"I don't even want to know what's going on!" she incredulously says.

"Saff," Spencer starts and gets to his feet, but Savannah holds up her finger.

"No. You listen. Both of you actually," she pauses and turns to me, crossing her arm in front of her chest. "You are officially fucked."

"And I used to think I'm the dramatic one," I mumble and she rolls her eyes.

"I'm not being dramatic. Everyone's been talking about you two."

Spencer and I exchange a confused glance before he turns to her frowning.

"Someone has found out about your past and spread the news anonymously, claiming it has been confirmed by two very close people to both families." She turns to me. "Dad is furious. He wants to talk to both of you, and honestly, the way everyone's been gossiping about it, I'm surprised Dad hasn't called off the wedding yet."

I gape at her. "But how's that possible?"

She shrugs. "No idea. A few of Dad's men are on it to find out who spread the... rumor."

"It makes no sense." I push my fingers through the tangled mess of my hair. "No one knew about," I hesitantly add, eyeing Savannah suspiciously.

She gasps and faces me. "Are you serious right now!"

"What!" I cross my arms in front of my chest and lift my shoulders. "It's not like we've been on the best of terms from the beginning."

"I would never do something like this to my brother, Gracie! You have no idea the shit people are saying about both of you and both families. Our reputation is ruined! Do you really think I would ever do something like this?"

I nibble my bottom lip and avert my gaze. "Then who did it?"

She releases a defeated sigh. "No idea. But whoever it is, definitely knew the actual story. I mean the chances of someone randomly coming up with this is almost impossible..."

"What exactly is the news saying?" I ask.

"Former professor Spencer Wright slept with his student, and now the said student is marrying his stepbrother. Now everyone's coming up with their own theories like Spencer quit because of this. That these two brothers are taking turns on you and so on. Each one gets more disgusting than the previous one."

I rub my forehead. "This is bad."

"Dad is waiting for both of you, try not to show up together, he's already pissed enough."

Savannah shakes her head and saunters out of the room, leaving Spencer and me alone.

"Do you want us to deny it?" he asks the second his sister shuts the door.

My head snaps to him and I sigh. "I don't know."

"We have to align our story if you want to keep it a secret."

Speechlessly I stare at him. He's giving the entire power to me. My mind stays blank. Both routes suck equally.

I plod to the bed and plop down on it, my back facing him. "Do you want everyone to know the truth? At least, your dad, Amanda, and Kristian?" I fidget with my fingers, scrutinizing the shards of the vase still on the floor.

A faint shuffling sound comes and stops, the bed dips with his weight as Spencer sits next to me. "I'm fine with whatever choice you make. If you want, we'll deny it and say it's a sick rumor, if not, we'll tell them it's true and find a way to stop the others from talking shit."

Emotions whirling around my head, I glance at him. At this point, I don't even know how to feel. Surprised, shocked, worried.

It's too much.

"You won't mind if everyone finds out about your biggest mistake?" I tilt my head as I study him.

His features tighten and his eyes cloud with guilt. "You're not my biggest mistake, Gracie. I'm sorry I made you think that way, but you're not. Leaving was my biggest mistake."

Despite the shitshow, and my fear of trusting him, my heart flutters. I bite my bottom lip and look away, letting my hair shield me from his intense gaze. "Kristian and your dad will make it really hard," I mumble.

"You don't need to worry about them, I'll handle them," he softly says, tucking a strand of my hair away from my face and behind my ear. "No matter what you decide, I'll stay by your side."

My throat closes in and I nod, tears springing up to my eyes. "You promise?" I quaver.

He takes my hand in his and locks his eyes with me. "I promise."

For the first time ever since I saw him again after five years, I'm seeing the man that I fell in love with. The Spencer who was willing to do anything for me, even help me solve a math millennium problem, stood by my side in my darkest time.

Maybe he's really willing to work on himself, for me, for us.

But... isn't it too late?

What's the point if I'm going to get married to Kristian in—holy shit! Tomorrow!

Why did these days go by so fast!

I blink a few times and pull myself together, shoving aside the little timer ticking in my mind, starting to count down the remaining twenty-four hours.

"I want to tell the truth." I hold my head up and sit taller, pushing my shoulders back.

"Very well. The truth it is."

❦ ♥︎ ❦

The rumour is out! Can this be beneficial for Gracie and Spencer, or not?

And what are your thoughts on Spencer showing up late at night and saying all those things? Do you guys think Gracie is doing the right thing? Or is she being too hard on him?

Anyone sensing a little growth from Spencer? 👀

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for reading it, don't forget to vote and comment your thoughts.

I'm sorry I didn't update in these few days, I was sick, but now I'm better and hopefully, we'll have daily updates and sometimes double updates until this story is wrapped up! I was also supposed to update this chapter a couple of hours ago but I was too exhausted after my class. Regardless, the next chapter will be up in... 4hrs (I think).

Stay safe, lots of love, happy reading ♡