The unbearable pounding of my head wakes me up. I groan and bury my head in the pillow. A masculine scent tickles my nostrils with each inhale. Confused, I crack open an eye. At first, everything's bleary, but thankfully the curtains are drawn, and the room is in semi-darkness. I blink a few times until the room comes into focus.

A black button-up shirt is sprawled on the sofa in the room's corner. Along with a dark pair of jeans. Neither belongs to me.

My eyes widen, and I jolt upright, sitting in the middle of the king-sized bed. The bed in my room is queen-sized.

Glacial panic grips me. Frantically, I look around. Whose room is this?

My headache intensifies, and my heart drums in my chest. I pull away the covers from my body and glance down. Gaping at my slanting neckline, and the dress that has ridden up my thighs, a horrifying realization dawns on me.

What have I done!

My gaze falls on my discarded panties lying on the ground, and my suspicions are confirmed.

I've slept with someone.

No matter how hard I try, I can't recall last night's events.

Hot tears spring to my eyes. I shove my trembling fingers into the tangled mess of my hair. Stupid stupid stupid.

I climb out of the bed, on unsteady legs, swaying slightly as the walls of the room swim before my eyes. I choke on air. Never in my life have I done something so stupidly reckless.

Flashes of Kristian's face, our heated make-out sessions flit past my disoriented mind. Things did escalate between us because I was desperate to put Spencer off my mind.

I blink away the tears, even though all I want to do is curl into a ball, cry my eyes out, and forget this ever happened.

The sound of running water from the bathroom comes, causing me to realize someone- probably Kristian- is taking a shower.

I sway and stumble to a mirror atop the dressing table. Disgust churns my stomach once I lay eyes on my reflection. My hair is an absolute mess, sticking out in odd ways, my mascara is smudged, creating dark patches underneath my eyes. What remains of my lipstick is smudged around my mouth.

I look like a goddamn junkie. The epitome of a series of fucked up mistakes and horrible choices.

Raw hatred courses through my veins. The longer I stare at my reflection the stronger it grows.

Hate directed at Spencer for screwing me up, and pushing me to this point. Hatred towards myself for giving Spencer the power to set me down this path, for being able to destroy me with the smallest of his actions.

My bottom lip quivers and I look away, pressing the heels of my palms to my temples, the headache ravaging me.

Why can't I just move on from him?

Why do I always make stupid decisions?

Why do I always fuck up?

Can't I just be normal for one goddamn day?

My mistakes are each growing worse than the other, more revolting, degrading me.

I'm turning into a person I don't even recognize. Jealousy, drinking to the point of blacking out, having sex with someone just to forget about someone else. None of these are me... yet I did them all in less than twenty-four hours.

I despise the person I'm turning to.

It has to stop.

I pull myself to my full height and try to smoothen down my hair, with no success. I grab a few tissues and find a bottle of water, carefully dabbing the tissues until they've absorbed enough water to be of any use for wiping away the remnants of my lipstick and my smudged mascara.

When the bathroom door clicks open, I still look like I've crawled out of a haunted baseman.

Kristian steps out, with a white bathrobe and his dark hair damp and sticking to his forehead. "You're up," he says with a grin as he approaches me. "Last night was great," he adds and moves to wrap his arms around my waist but I jump away from him.

"Don't touch me." I hold out my index finger, retreating another step as I sternly look at him.

Confusion mars his face and his brows knit together. "What?"

"You're a dickhead for sleeping with me when I was in that state."

"The fuck?" He throws his arms up and gawks at me. "You were practically begging me to fuck you."

"I was drunk, you asshole!"

"Come on now, don't be a bitch, I thought we had something going on last night."

"What could possibly be going on between us! I fucking hate you!" I shout.

He jerks backward as though my words have punched him.

"And you know that, but the second you saw I'm drunk and not being myself, you took advantage of it."

His features twist with anger, his nostrils flare. He jabs a finger at me. "You kissed me, you told me to bring you back to my room, you told me to fuck you. Now how the hell is that taking advantage of you when you were the one who led all of it!"

Oh shit.

I look away and cross my arms in front of my chest. I don't remember any of that.

"You know what, Kristian? I was so drunk that I don't remember any of those. Even if I did all the things you're saying, you probably noticed I'm too drunk. And if I was that drunk, I'm damn sure I wasn't in a state to initiate and perform whole-ass intercourse with you." I take a daring step towards him. "You're a dick for actually having sex with me. It was the first, and probably the only time, I wouldn't have said no, I wasn't in a state to say no, and you took advantage of that." I draw in a sharp breath and hold his gaze with a glare.

"We're getting married," he flatly states.

"It's for a business deal. And even if it was an actual thing, it still doesn't give you the right to touch me while I'm in a state I don't understand most of the shit happening around me."

He clenches his jaw and presses his mouth to a thin line. "So you're going to rub it into my face each time-"

I sharply interject, "Yes, just like you've been threatening me with the contract, I'll be doing the same."

We stare at each other for one long moment, before I huff and march past him.

"Why do I feel like you used me last night?"

I halt in my track and spin around, just as he turns and faces me. "Excuse me?"

He scoffs and squints at me. "You never look at me, you don't let me touch you, you don't even let me get close to you, but last night you came to me... like you wanted to..." his voice trails down and he shrugs.

"No, say it, like what?" I demand, not letting his words get to me.

"Like you wanted to prove a point... like you wanted to show someone you're with me and we're a normal couple."

I snort. "You're wrong, but that's a wild theory. Maybe if being a businessman didn't work for you, you can get into writing scripts and novels." I turn around and head to the door.

"I'm not stupid, there's a guy here who you've been with before, and you want to make him jealous. I will find out who he is, and I will make both of your lives a living hell."

My fingers curl around the doorknob, I chew my bottom lip before looking at him from over my shoulder. "Well, good luck on finding this imaginary guy."

He stalks towards me, but I hold my ground, letting my hand stay on the doorknob. "I will, babe. No one can use me and get away with it."

I force a laugh as he stops in front of me. "Are you seriously going to play the victim here?"

"Is it because of that guy you don't let me touch you? I'm damn sure you came to me last night because of him."

I scrutinize him, worry stringing me as I try to remember last night and the things I might have said. But anything after downing three more drinks and making out with Kristian on the yacht's deck is wiped out of my memories.

He runs his finger down my cheek. "You screwed things up with him." A smirk slashes across his face. "Don't worry babe, you just kept saying why he doesn't want you back and that you wish he would."

My heart hammers in my chest as I struggle to keep my face devoid of emotions even though I'm a step away from full-blown panic.

He leans to me and I hold my breath, watching him distraughtly.

"I will find out who he is... and once I do, you'll understand who you've messed with and wish you never had." Kristian moves even closer.

I stay as still as I can. It takes me a moment to gather my bearings and mutter, "Fuck you." I twist the doorknob and open the door.

Kristian grabs my hand, not letting me open the door all the way, and brings his mouth next to my ear. "Believe me, soon you'll beg me to do anything to you, even fuck you raw, but leave you and your lover alone."

"You're delusional," I whisper, just in case someone is passing by the hallway and decides to eavesdrop. "There's no one, but you're free to try, loser." I open the door, but he wraps his arm around my waist and crashes his mouth atop mine forcefully.

I struggle against him, but he only pulls me closer, moving his mouth roughly over mine. I'm tempted to knee him, but before I can decide to do so or not, he pulls away and growls, "You're mine. One way or another, I will make you mine."

A chill runs down my spine. A horrifying realization hits me like a damn train. If I marry him, the possibility of getting a divorce from him might be next to impossible.

Dread pools in my stomach.

His hand falls away from me and I retreat an unsteady step away from him, and out of the room, as I keep on gaping at him.

From my periphery, I notice a figure standing a pace away from me in the hallway. I blink and turn.

The world halts for a moment.

Spencer is staring at me, his gaze flickers to Kristian's room before settling back on me.

Kristian leans to the doorway, folding his arms in front of his chest. "Don't forget what I told you... and that I always get what I want." A cruel smirk arches his mouth. "I had a great night, babe. You know where to find me if you want to go for another round." He winks and steps back into his room before shutting the door.

I suck in a sharp breath and glance at Spencer's shocked face. Our eyes meet. I don a mask of blankness over my features as I hold his gaze.

His lips part but no words come out, and it stays agape. Emotions too strong, too swift, flash across his features.

A sudden urge of explaining myself to him rises in me but I suppress it and bare feet, I hurry past him, rushing towards my room a few doors down the same hallway.

I lock myself in my room. Tears spring up to my eyes, disgust, humiliation, anger, frustration, exhaustion, and hundreds of other emotions whirl in my head.

I plod to the bathroom and strip down, casting aside the mini dress and standing under the hot shower water before scrubbing myself harshly and roughly. As though I can clean off the bone-deep abhorrence just by soap and water.

I let tears fall freely as I sink to my knees in the shower and sob.

Everything is spiraling out of control, getting worse with each passing second and I can't do anything about it.

Spencer's face keeps jumping to the forefront of my mind. At this point, I feel like my mind is adding feelings like hurt and despair to the look of his eyes just for comfort's sake.

Once I've calmed down, and gained a grip over myself and my emotions, I step out of the shower and quickly wear a white short jumpsuit and a pair of lace-up heels, with the straps reaching just below my knee, I exit my room.

Thankfully my face is not puffy to give away I've been crying, and no one seems to notice me.

As I pass the bar in the middle of the hall, I'm tempted to down a drink, but my hangover is still present, turned into a dull ache, and I don't want to intensify it. Not to mentions, I've done enough damage with one drunken night. I don't need to add to my pile of problems.

I scan the area, but there's no sign of Spencer, and I can't say I'm surprised. A small voice in my head says I already know where he is, and I decide to listen to the voice.

Without wasting another minute, I climb up the stairs and go straight to the highest floor of the yacht.

Looks like the voice was right. Spencer is standing near the ledge with his back facing me. A soft breeze brushes the exposed skin of my arms and legs. I stop a few paces away from him.

"What do you want, Gracie?" he flatly asks, sounding detached.

I frown and unlike the previous time, I don't stop myself from inquiring, "How did you know it was me and not Julia?"

A humorless chuckle tumbles out of him. "Seriously? That's your biggest problem right now?"

I hug myself and stare at his disheveled hair and hunching shoulders, patiently waiting.

He sighs. "The sound is different. The way you walk, the sound your heels make is different from Julia's." A lengthy pause follows, and when I don't say anything, he irritably goes on, "We work in the same office, you always wear heels, I'm not deaf, obviously I can tell the difference."

My heart swells, even though I try not to note he's been paying attention to me, far more than I thought he would. I chew my bottom lip and shift my weight from one foot to another.

He turns the slightest, the side of his face comes into my view but he doesn't even glance at me. "What do you want?" he repeats himself.

With a sharp inhale, I overlook my thumping heart and decide to fix the first broken piece of my life.

"Yesterday you said you didn't understand why I'm behaving the way I am towards Julia, that it makes no sense... I'm not being myself, you said."

I study his features, or at least the little bit I can see. His face goes stoic.

I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'm surprised you weren't able to figure it out... a little disappointed too. For someone as smart as you I expected you'd be able to put the pieces together. But I guess you've convinced yourself I never cared for you. I suppose you never believed me when I told you not all of it was a game, the means for reaching my goal. It's okay, I'm not complaining. To be fair, I've never done anything to make you believe any of my words."

A shaky breath escapes from me, and I run my clammy palms up and down my forearms even the weather is warm with the sun in the middle of the sky beating down on us. His gaze stays glued to the sea and his stance remains cold and indifferent.

With all my willpower, I force out the words, "I'm jealous."

I wait for a beat to see how he reacts, but his demeanor doesn't change.

"I'm jealous of Julia, and I did all of those things because I can't stand to see her."

Tense moments go by in utter silence, save for the sound of the sea and the waves.

When he doesn't say a word, or even move a muscle, I take it as my opportunity to tell him everything that's on my mind.

It's horrifying to bare my soul and become vulnerable before him. I can't even guess his reaction... and perhaps that's one of the petrifying aspects.

Regardless, it feels like the right thing to do. I'm tired of fighting with him, pretending like I don't care.

Truly, I'm tired, and I need to rid myself of this burden.

"I can't stand to see her with you. I-it hurts... and I- I wish it was me in her place. Even though I shouldn't. I screwed up everything, I'm not even allowed to want that..." I lift my shoulders, before hugging myself tighter, and chew my bottom lip. "But I'm selfish, remember? I want things that I'm not supposed to want for myself."

A deep frown spreads across his face, furrowing his brows and tugging the corner of his mouth downwards.

"I know I'm making things harder for you, and that's not fair. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I always mess things up and try to make them up with a stupid sorry, but that's all I know. Messing things up is what I'm best at, not cleaning them up, and I'm sorry you have to put up with it."

I anxiously watch him.

He presses his mouth to a thin line. "Why are you saying these things to me?" He glances at me, his gaze is hard and unyielding.

"Because I'm tired. Because I fucked up again." I draw in a deep shaky breath and let my eyes wander around, taking in the wide sea surrounding us on every side.

"I got drunk because I couldn't stand to see you with Julia, and kissed Kristian because I wanted to not think about you, and to not see you hug her and do all the things I wish you'd do with me," my voice wavers, the lump in my throat growing painful, but I don't stop.

"I was so drunk I ended up sleeping with Kris, and I don't even remember what happened. Now I feel like shit... and I'm tired. I'm tired of messing things up. I just want you to know whatever happened between me and Kristian-"

"I don't care what happened between you two," he snaps, but his voice is hoarse, betraying his indifferent expression and his cold words. "You don't need to explain yourself to me, it's none of my business, and I don't care."

I observe him for a moment. He releases a blow of breath and shoves his hand through his hair before looking away.

"I want you to know," I admit quietly.

He draws in a deep shaky breath and purses his mouth, rubbing his face and pushing his glasses up his nose.

"I want you to know last night didn't mean anything to me."

"I don't care. It's none of my business," he grunts.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, and I'm sorry I used you for the solution."

His body tenses and his head snaps to me, eyes widening.

"I was desperate but that doesn't justify what I did. And thank you for not getting back at me, because you had all the rights to lash out like Nathan, and way worse, so thank you for not doing that."

"Why are you saying these things to me?" his voice breaks. For the first time today, his eyes betray him. Pure pain glimmers in them as he looks at me with desperation and despair.

"Because now I finally understand, even when you were leaving me, you were still being kind to me. If I was in your place, I would've rained hell down. Up until now, I was mad at you for leaving me, but... in reality, I've been mad at myself for ruining everything between us. I was scared of telling you the truth, because I knew I would leave if I were you. What I had done, what I actively did, was so wrong, on so many levels."

I gulp and shake my head. A pang of guilt shoots across my chest. Spencer stares at me with his head tilted a bit.

"I wish it could've been fixed with an apology, I hoped you would've forgiven me. But it's wishful thinking, I was pining for the impossible. What I did was so wrong, that no amount of sorry or anything that I might have come up with would've fixed it and made you forgive me. There was nothing I could have done to make you forgive me, to make you see how I regret doing all those stuff. But words are all I have. I don't have anything to give you or do to show you how terribly I regret what I did. All I can do is apologize... even though I know it'll never be enough. I'm sorry, Spencer. I don't want to fight with you anymore. I don't want to hurt you, use you, or challenge you and take away your peace and happiness. And I'm sorry because of my selfish self I've made things hard for you again. I'll stay out of your way... and Julia's."

He blinks away the film of tears. With his lips parted, he gazes at me. His Adam's apple bobs before utters in a broken voice. "Wh-why? Why are you saying all these things to me now?"

I avert my gaze and bite my bottom lip. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize and I'm saying them now. If I had the power to go back in time, I never would have let myself drag you into my mess and the fiasco of the solution. I know it's too late, but I hope one day, maybe, you'd be able to find it in yourself to forgive me."

My arms limply fall to my sides. Without glancing up at him, I turn and hurry down the stairs, rapidly sucking in air to calm down my trembling insides and gulp away the lump in my throat. As I reach the final level and pick up my pace as I go to my room, a sense of lightness washes over me like a hundred-ton weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Even though my heartaches, I know I'll survive.

Saying all those things was incredibly hard, but maybe it was worth it.

I may be in deep shit with this contract I've tangled myself with, but the least I can do is not cause more complications and try to smoothen those I've created.

❦ ♥︎ ❦

I see you've reached the end of this terribly long chapter 👀

I'm gonna be frank with you guys, I was worried out of my mind for this chapter, and maybe that's why it took me so long to write it, because I was worried you guys won't like it, and I wanted to see if there's anything I can do to ensure you guys would like it, but I couldn't find anything and aaahhhh it was hard XD

I hope Gracie's change of mind/heart didn't feel too abrupt. In my opinion, waking up in Kristian's room did the trick, but I don't know if you guys agree with me or not.

Soooo... comment your thoughts and tell me what you think about this chapter. Were you expecting Gracie would end up sleeping with Kris? Or not?

And any thoughts on Gracie's little speech? Was it too soon, or uncalled for? Or not?

Where do you think this will lead Gracie and Spencer's relationship? Are problems about to get solved? or is shit just about to get messier? 

While writing this chapter, I realised I'm so damn happy the number of people reading my stories is not that big :') I would have freaked the fuck out, just like I've been freaking out for this book, because it literally has the highest number of readers among all of my works. I'm really worried I'll end up disappointing you guys with the direction I'm taking this story and its ending.

Oh well, don't mind me while I stress over the remaining chapters of this book.

I'm so sorry these chapters are turning so long. I have written an entire outline, like what's supposed to happen in each chapter so this book won't have as many chaps as The Solution. The only thing I didn't consider was the word count... yeah, that's turning into a problem.

Anywayyyy, I hope you didn't hate this part, vote if you didn't :') and comment your thoughts! =)

I'm going to try to write and upload a new chapter in like 2-3 hrs, but no promises.

Stay safe, lots of love, happy reading ♡