Even to my own ears, I sound ridiculously pathetic as I stand in front of him, feeling like an idiot. I hate myself for letting him get to me like that. I hate him for making me vulnerable.

But I watch him as my heart hammers in my chest. Suddenly, I realize I don't want to hear his answer. What if he says he does?

I gulp noisily but don't back down, pressing my lips to a thin line to hide the slight quiver.

Spencer appears taken aback, his eyes wider than usual, as his eyebrows remain raised. He stares at me with surprise but doesn't answer.

An eternity goes by for me, yet he doesn't even move a muscle.

My throat squeezes painfully as a fist tightens around my heart.

He's not denying it.

He loves her.

Why wouldn't he? Compared to me, she's fucking perfect.

What did I even expect? When he dumped and immediately fucked someone else, why wouldn't he be serious with her? Did I really foolishly think he's still hung up on me just because of a dumb kiss? And why would he even propose to a woman he doesn't love?

All these facts race around my head and with each passing second my naivety stands out brighter and sharper to me. I let my emotions get in the way, preventing me from seeing clearly.

My body shakes from anger and anguish, my fingers curl into fists, my nails dig into my palms as my lips pull back in a snarl. "Fuck you," I spit. "And your stupid relationship, with that stupid bitch." My voice wavers from rage as its pitch climbs higher.

His mouth hangs open, as though struggling to comprehend what's going on.

"What are you waiting for?" I shout, throwing my hands up before pointing at the door. "Leave! Run back to your stupid perfect life, and live on your boring, pathetic life." I spin and march away, not waiting for his reaction.

"What?" His confused voice comes from behind me but I don't stop and head straight to my bedroom.

"Gracie," he calls with exasperation, and I hear his hurried footsteps following me.

I pick up my pace and slam the door but he catches it mid-way.

"Stay away from me!" I shriek trying to close the door, but he doesn't let me. "I will ruin your life. I will destroy you and your perfect Julia, I swear I'll become your worst nightmare," I scream as he pushes the door open and walks into my room.

Screeching, "I hate you!" I charge towards him to shove him out of my room but he grabs my wrists in a firm grip, not loosening his hold no matter how hard I struggle and curse him.

"Gracie, stop!"

"I will show what mistake really means," I fire back, trying to free myself from him, but it's futile and he only pulls me closer. "I will destroy you. I fucking hate you!"

"Stop," he warns in a low voice, but I keep on struggling against him. He twists my hand behind my back, while holding my other hand to his chest, pressing me to himself.

I crane my neck to glare at him. "I hate you. You won't get away with this. You can't do this to me." My voice breaks and I stop wiggling to look anywhere but him and blink away the forming tears.

I feel his eyes burning holes into me as he intently watches me.

With a sharp inhale, I meet his gaze. "You can't sleep with me one day, kiss me the next and sleep with another woman the next day. I won't let you. I will destroy you and ruin every good thing in your miserable life."

His eyes search mine, his face inches away from me. "You're jealous," he mumbles.

"Fuck you," I snarl. "I don't give a flying shit about you."

He squints at me and tilts his to the side. "You need to stop doing this, you're hurting yourself," he soothingly speaks, as his fingers reach to my fisted fingers of both hands, and uncurl them.

"I hate you," I weakly say, my voice trembling as our eyes stay locked.

"I know." A corner of his mouth twitches upwards.

I look away, embarrassed and humiliated.

Fine, I'm jealous.

I'm jealous out of my mind.

Yes, I want it to be me instead of Julia, but I'm never admitting that to him.

In fact, I hate him even more now, because no one, not a single soul in the entirety of my life, has made me act out this way. I never used to give two shits about the guys I dated. I hate him for not being like all the other guys who came and went from my life.

Spencer firmly holds my hand behind my back but lets go of my other hand, the one he's pressing to his chest, and grabs my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. "Whatever game you were planning on playing, is hurting yourself, Gracie. Stop this madness-"

"Oh, please, I'm not falling for this fake act of kindness. Quit talking like you give a damn about me."

He clenches his jaw and purses his mouth before saying, "Can't you see you're hurting yourself the most? Fine, you didn't think things would go that far last night, but they did. And now it's hurting you too. This game you're playing, it's not worth it. Whatever you're after, is not worth enough to hurt yourse-"

"Fuck you and your fake sincerity. I'm sorry but I'm not like that gold digger fiancée of yours to fall for your words."

A muscle in his jaw flickers and he closes his eyes sucking in a sharp breath, his arm muscles tense and press me closer to him.

I despise how being flushed against his body, with his warmth seeping into me wavers my anger and makes my skin tingle. I hate the effect he has on me. Maybe Spencer is my biggest mistake.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks at last once he reopens his eyes.

I try to look away, but it's hard with his hand still holding my chin up.

"Gracie," he softly calls out.

I press my lips to a thin hard line and grind my teeth to hide my chin's trembling and hope he doesn't notice the tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

I don't want him to go to her. I want him to stay here, with me. Like five years ago, when everything was perfect.

"Look at me," he murmurs and patiently waits for me to listen to him and meet his dark blue eyes before continuing, "I don't love her. I care for her and respect her as a woman and as a person who's my fiancée."

"I don't care." I roll my eyes, refusing to allow myself, even for a heartbeat, to believe his lie. Even though he sounds like he means it, and he's gazing at me the way he used to five years ago, with no trace of anger or hatred.

"I wanted to leave early because whatever we're doing is wrong, and she doesn't deserve to be treated this way. It's not because I'm tossing you aside after the things that happened between us."

I close my eyes and inhale deeply. "Do whatever the hell you want, I can't care less about it."

"Gracie," he tenderly calls and my heart aches from the burst of longing.

"I don't even understand why you're saying these things, it's not like I believe you, or even care."

"Yes, you hate me, I got that part." He falls silent, his fingers move from my chin and caress my cheek making my breath catch in my throat. I refuse to meet his intense gaze as he searches my face.

"I went too far; I wasn't thinking and I never thought it would affect you like this... I never wanted to hurt you, I'm so-"

I scoff. "Yeah, sure, you didn't want to hurt me. The man who left me and didn't even bother to look back once, didn't want to hurt me."

His hand tenses and pauses on my cheek. "That was different," he mutters, his features darkening. "But now, I just wanted to piss you off, I didn't want to hurt you."

"Congratulations, you did piss me off. And don't give yourself so much credit, your words, your action, and you, don't mean anything to me. You don't have that power over me to hurt me." I boldly meet his gaze, even though my voice trembles and I don't really sound convincing, I still hold my head up.

"Good," he whispers, pushing a strand of hair sticking to my forehead away, and tucking a curly strand of my hair behind my ear. "Because I lied. You're not a wave of thrill that gets boring over time, you're the thrill that makes everything else seem boring without you... you're addictive," he breathes out, resting his forehead on mine.

I squeeze my eyes shut and inhale his intoxicating cologne scent, my heart aches, and my chest burns. "I don't believe you," I whimper.

"Then don't believe my lies either."

My fingers furl around the fabric of his shirt. His hand lets go of my wrist and lays flat on the small of my back, keeping me close to him. The warmth of his palm alerts all my senses, bringing them to life, making me hyper-aware of every breath, and touch. Mortifyingly, I relish in the feeling of his hot breath falling on my lips, and all my problems and insecurities seem small and insignificant now.

"We both know this is wrong. Whatever that we're doing and is happening between us, is unfair to ourselves and everyone around us. We need to stay away from each other, it's for the best and you know it." His large hand cups my cheek, his thumb brushing over my cheekbone. "I-I have to go," he stammers, as though saying those words is a struggle for him.

He lifts his forehead from mine and my eyes snap open. "Please don't leave." The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop.

"Gracie," he sighs.

"Just tonight. Don't go to her. Stay with me... one last time," I plead quietly.

He's right, this is wrong, and I'm making everything worse, but I don't know what's wrong with me. All I want is for him to stay with me, be the way he was with me five years ago.

Tomorrow will be a new day and I'll have a better grip on myself and my emotions, but tonight, I need him.

Our eyes stay locked. I can feel and see him fighting with himself.

"Can't we pretend our problems away? Just for one night. Can't we forget about everything else and just be us for tonight?" My voice is weak and reflects my vulnerability, so unlike me. But he's seen me at my worst, and he stood by me. All I want is for him to stand by me for one last time until the sun rises and I slip back into my stone-cold demeanor.

"This is the last time," he hesitantly says and I nod.

"I promise I won't bring up tonight, ever. I won't even blackmail you with it," I promise.

A smile tugs the corner of his lips upwards and I see the resolve of refusing me melting away as he closes the little space between us and leans to me.

Ever so gently, his lips find mine, snatching my breath away, as Spencer kisses me slowly, deeply. My stomach flutters and my heart skips a beat. I weave my fingers through his hair. His arm tightens around my waist, and his hand slips to the nape of my neck as he deepens the kiss.

Forgetting about everything else is too easy.

His palms find the back of my thighs and he lifts me up. I take up the opportunity and wrap my legs around him. Spencer carries me to my bed and carefully lays me on the soft mattress, never breaking the kiss.

Once I'm on the bed and he's hovering over me, he breaks the kiss, his eyes darkened with lust find mine.

"This is the last time we're doing this," he repeats himself.

"One last time," I assure him softly, taking off his glasses that rested on the brink of his nose.

He cups my face; his thumb gently grazes my cheek. "Tonight, you're only my Gracie," he murmurs, his lips less than an inch away from mine.

My heart flutters and butterflies go crazy inside me. A small smile stretches my lips.

His Gracie.

I know it's the last time I'll ever be hearing this, and the realization of it sends a sharp pain through my chest but I splay my fingers on his cheek and ignore the pain. "Tonight, I'm just your Gracie."

❦ ♥︎ ❦

Okay, be honest with me, did you like this chapter or not? 'cause like, I know, maybe a lot of you guys expected that Spencer would lie to Gracie and say he loves Julia just to spite her, but... I don't know... it felt like unnecessary drama and conflict. I'm gonna be frank, this chapter (and the following that I have yet to write :") ) are one of my favourites so far. So it's really important for me to know, did this chapter disappoint you guys, or not?

I really hope you enjoyed it :') [please vote if you did *.*] I wasn't planning on ending this chapter here, but if I had written the entire thing that I thought I could've fit into this chapter, it would've been about 4-5k words I think (about 20-30 minutes worth of reading), and let's face it, that's just too long for a chapter. So I hope the ending wasn't abrupt :)

Comment your thoughts, I really want to know what you think about this chapter, Gracie's jealousy, and vulnerability, and everything, was it uncalled for? Or was it understandable? Spencer deciding to be honest with her (was it unexpected? Like an act out of his character?) And your thoughts on them being together one last time =) Do you think it's going to be the last time?

Needless to say, the next chapter will have smut, but in my opinion, even if you're not a smut reader, do read the next chapter, there are some... sweet moments I think you wouldn't want to miss :)

The next chapter will be up as soon as I finish writing it. (No, I have not started writing it yet, but I think I will right away). So the next chap might be up in 3 hrs (give or take), but no promises, I'm lazy af and a professional procrastinator, not a good combo, believe me lol.

Stay safe, lots of love, happy reading ♡